Think Im being played, should I bail?

Ok guys so I was visiting my friend in another part of the country (UK) 6 weeks ago. Met this chick in bar who lived in the area, got chatting and we swapped numbers. Next day she whatsapped me the usual 'nice to meet you' etc. I responded and we had a brief text chat.

So I left the next day and went back to my home town. This chick knows I live 300 miles away but continues to msg me daily. Over the course of the past six weeks we have msged daily, skyped and phonecalls regularly. She was coming on pretty strong telling me how much she likes me and finds me attractive, sending me pics are herself half naked and just generally showing a degree of interest (well as much as a chick can via txt, phonecalls and skype). It seems we have similar interests and have good chat, Im teasing her, negging her and just generally making her laugh.

Everything seems to be going well and we agree that next time I visit my friend I will meet her for a date. I visit my friend fairly regularly for a week or so and was planning on going next month. Now heres the problem. I suspect shes playing me. Judging by her facebook it seems she has LOTS of guy friends (mainly guy friends) and she seems to be adding new guys almost every day (often from different parts of the country, she lives in a tourist city so will no doubt be meeting guys on holiday). From what I can tell she seems to have plenty of orbiters who are always liking her facebook pics and posts. I feel as if shes telling me what I want to hear (e.g. she cant stop thinking about me) and generally feeding my ego but it has a sense of her not being genuine about it.

Now recently I have started to slow down on the msging. She still texts her daily but Ive started taking hours (sometimes all day) to respond and have generally shown less enthusiasm than before. Im kinda starting to feel like Ive wasted the past 6 weeks talking to her and suspect she may be telling other guys the same stuff she tells me. Obviously with her living so far away I have no way to prove this but I have a strong suspicion.

So DJ's I need advice. Do I just cut her off and forget about her? Do I carry on and go visit as planned (although I suspicious on wasting my time as she may flake or LJBF) or do I back off and maintain minimal contact??

I admit despite gaming other chicks at the same time and having options I do feel as if she has sucked me in to some extent (I know, I know, schoolboy error). I suspect she knows exactly what shes doing and likes the attention.

I was thinking of maybe just ignoring her for a week or so and see how that goes?? I have no problem with just walking away and never speaking to her again but on the other hand wouldnt pass up a chance to bang her as shes very very hot.

Long Distance relationships don't work- one of the Iron Rules of Tomassi.

Read: The Rational Male. This is your homework.

Go Ghost on her. Next time you're about to go visit your friend then drop her a note saying when YOU are free. If that works out- go on a date and try and bang. If she's frigid then NEXT her and ignore her.

She's an attention seeker- personally I'd not even bother, let the blue pills orbit her and waste their energy on her.

Lozboss said:

Long Distance relationships don't work- one of the Iron Rules of Tomassi.

Read: The Rational Male. This is your homework.

Go Ghost on her. Next time you're about to go visit your friend then drop her a note saying when YOU are free. If that works out- go on a date and try and bang. If she's frigid then NEXT her and ignore her.

She's an attention seeker- personally I'd not even bother, let the blue pills orbit her and waste their energy on her.

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I will read The Rational Male, is there a blog or site for it???

Yes I figure going ghost is a good idea. How do I actually do this though, do I outright ignore her txts? Or do I respond like days later? She will undoubtedly txt me at some point today asking how my day has been etc.

I admit I was planning on going to see my friend sooner than expected as I was factoring in meeting her. Now Im thinking I may just leave visiting my friend for a few months (as I usually do) rather than going next month.

Shes undoubtedly an attention seeker, its blindingly obvious. I was kinda aware of this from the start so kept a level head (to some extent). Not bothering anymore is certainly an option.

I had a relationship with a girl many years ago who had major daddy issues and she behaved exactly the same, had lots of orbiters and craved constant attention from guys.

bunjy said:

I will read The Rational Male, is there a blog or site for it???

Yes I figure going ghost is a good idea. How do I actually do this though, do I outright ignore her txts? Or do I respond like days later? She will undoubtedly txt me at some point today asking how my day has been etc.

I admit I was planning on going to see my friend sooner than expected as I was factoring in meeting her. Now Im thinking I may just leave visiting my friend for a few months (as I usually do) rather than going next month.

Shes undoubtedly an attention seeker, its blindingly obvious. I was kinda aware of this from the start so kept a level head (to some extent). Not bothering anymore is certainly an option.

I had a relationship with a girl many years ago who had major daddy issues and she behaved exactly the same, had lots of orbiters and craved constant attention from guys.

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What kinda daddy issues? Mines is close to dad, but keeps those orbitters going... I was wondering why?

you are an orbiter for all intents and purposes.

Call time on this one.

DaddyLongShanks said:

What kinda daddy issues? Mines is close to dad, but keeps those orbitters going... I was wondering why?

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Dad left at an early age. Grew up with no father.

Infern0 said:

you are an orbiter for all intents and purposes.

Call time on this one.

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It would appear so. I started to notice this a couple of weeks ago that she seemed to have lots of new guys adding her on facebook and that the majority of her fb likes where off guys. So I started to back off. Its not my style to be an orbiter. If she was local I would have either taken her out or bailed long ago. Its only because I literally cant ask her for a date tomorrow or whatever that Ive allowed it to go on for over a month.

Shall I just completely ignore her then? Delete her off fb etc?

UPDATE:

So yesterday she sends me about 10 sms messages over the course of a few hours (I reply to none) basically saying some sh*t about hoe shes 'been hurt badly in the past' etc etc. Im by now at the point of indifference so I send her a LJBF message (I obviously have no intention of actually being her friend of course). She replies hours later with a message saying she wants more than friends. I ignore.

I cant even be bothered anymore but at the same time want to keep the door open. How do I do this?

Test her.

You can't be in a LTR- distance is too great.

Plot doesn't change- hit her up when you're seeing your friend and progress to a lay- if she's time wasting Next her and never speak again.

Drop her a text and say you'll be in touch when you're next around her way.

Say nothing else.

P.S. The Rational make is a book. I believe Reddit has a Dropbox with all the books as ePub versions on it.

Lozboss said:

Test her.

You can't be in a LTR- distance is too great.

Plot doesn't change- hit her up when you're seeing your friend and progress to a lay- if she's time wasting Next her and never speak again.

Drop her a text and say you'll be in touch when you're next around her way.

Say nothing else.

P.S. The Rational make is a book. I believe Reddit has a Dropbox with all the books as ePub versions on it.

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Thanks for the advice and book info.

Yeah I figure it was never going to really lead to anything substantial anyway as too far but worth a shot at a lay.

I was planning on going next month but it may be longer than that now as I had factored in seeing her but having second thoughts about making a visit soon now. Will probably not go for a couple more months.

Interestingly since I LJBF (and she subsequently went a little crazy) shes backed away now. This is cool as I didnt want to be in an orbiter position anyway. Its a absolute truth that genuine nonchalance actually works.

As you say I have no intention at all of contacting her now, if I never hear from her again I wont be disappointed and have other plates spinning right now.

I bet she contacts me soon though, always the way with attention seeking chicks. I feel kinda proud that Ive got myself out of this 'orbiter' situation yet still left the door open (7 years ago I would have still been txting/calling away hopelessly).

Update: Ok so a few weeks ago I mentioned how I basically LJBF'd this chick. She went crazy and started really coming on strong with the texts, calls etc. I ended up getting sucked back in (stupid I know) mainly due to her sending me loads of half naked pics of herself over the course of a week.

Anyway fast forward to today. Ive decided for a number of reasons Im not going to see my friend near her anytime soon. Im in a position where shes texted and calling me everyday but Im kinda bored of her now.

Not sure where to go from here. Ive been dating other chicks and shes found out via facebook and started contacing me daily now. Pretty sure shes just doing it for the attention but Im seriously bored of a purely text/call thing with her.

Should I just drop her?? Its unlikely Im going to be seeing her anytime soon unless she visits my city. I kinda feel like its just wasting time.

Shes definintely managed to keep me in her orbit though with the pics she send me though.

One half of me thinks, forget her its a waste of time and energy. Another half thinks it might be worth just keeping her on the backburner for the future.

Earlier, you said you couldn't be bothered.

So stop bothering.

She's 300 miles off. How hard could it be?

Tictac said:

Earlier, you said you couldn't be bothered.

So stop bothering.

She's 300 miles off. How hard could it be?

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Yeah.

She constantly txts/calls me and keeps sending me these sexy selfies.

I guess I should probably just not speak to her at all.

well, you have her hamster in overdrive.... You MAY be able to tap it. BUT would you WANT to? I mean, the abandonment issues are working WELL with this one, and I'm guessing she'll re-create them again.

I don't get it, what's the big deal?

You got nothin' in this; tell her "..hey, baby, I can't get up there as soon as I hoped, work, but you can come here and I guarantee you a GOOD time.."

If she bites, great. Is she gives an alternative, maybe. Anything else, put her on ice for a while or forever.

Stop letting this chick in your decision-making cycle.

Sh*t or get off the pot, baby!

Prime_Beef said:

You got nothin' in this; tell her "..hey, baby, I can't get up there as soon as I hoped, work, but you can come here and I guarantee you a GOOD time.."

If she bites, great. Is she gives an alternative, maybe. Anything else, put her on ice for a while or forever.

Stop letting this chick in your decision-making cycle.

Sh*t or get off the pot, baby!

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Good advice man. I told her basically that Ive no plan on being her part of the country anytime soon but if she wants to come here shes more than welcome. She kinda said yeah but is now trying to persuade me to come see her.

I barely text her back anymore. Its got to a point in which she is throwing everything she has at me now telling me all this ego boosting stuff and how shes crazy about me etc etc. A combination of me LJBFing her, kinda ignoring her and generally not being very responsive seems to have tipped her over the edge.

Ive been with AWs before so know how it plays out, I cant believe this stuff works on some guys. In fairness Im experienced with dealing with women like this and even I find myself sucked in a little bit albeit always with my head well in check.

My 2 cents

go to visit your friend and meet her. If you bang her good, if she doesn't want to bang you drop her. She's into overt hypergamy and can be beneficial for you

catherinelirian said:

Dad left at an early age. Grew up with no father.

http://goo.gl/blNHdy

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SPAM!

Long Distance relationships are for idiots (sorry but for my language), but can you can try to hit and quit, but for this to happen your mindset has to change.

That means no text messages conveying that you'd like to know her at a deeper level. When you do text her, ask her when you're going to see her. When you do see her be aggressive as to what you want to do-- if she takes it well, go for it but if she doesn't you still tried.