Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

My Story and Some Lesson from Along the Way

Tarfun

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2014
Messages
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Location
Shreveport, LA
Who am I? I'm Tarfun and I used to be an average frustrated chump. Let me tell you a little about myself. I had a high school sweetheart, J. When we were sophomores in high school, J asked me out and since I was an AFC that couldn't get a lady on his own I jumped at the opportunity. If I had to rate J when I started dating her I would say she was probably an 6, petite, black hair, gorgeous smile, I was happy to be dating a girl like her.

J and I dated for 5 years. We went to college together, and let me tell you did J come into her own. You see, J, like me was a late bloomer. She got to college and she got hot. The sweet little 6 I started dating became an 8, her skin cleared up, she changed her hair, started wearing makeup, and started dressing better. Then finally, at the start of our Junior year, J dumped me and started dating the starting running back at our university. I was devastated. And that was pretty much the end of my college love life.

At that point I decided I was going to focus on other things, my degree, finding a career, and convinced myself that I was a good guy and that if I landed myself a good career, got myself in better shape, and took care of the things I was supposed to take care of thing I was supposed to take care of that another girl would land in my lap and we would live happily ever after.

Only, it didnt work out like that. In fact, I found myself friendzoned by every girl I attempted to get to know. I couldn't understand how my buddies were constantly dating or hooking up with all these pretty girls, but I kept striking out. I was better educated and had a better career than all my friends, but I could not land a girl.

Then along came B. Now this girl was a winner. She was my friend's girlfriend's best friend. B was a tattooed up, hot little number with a huge pair of fake tits. The first time I ever met her, I was absolutely convinced that there was no way I could get a girl like her. At the time, I was right. B not only friendzoned me, but I let her treat me like garbage. Finally, I got angry, cut contact with her.

Sad story right? Wrong!!!! To tell you the truth, I love B. Not love her as a person. Truth be told, regardless of how I let her treat me, I think she is a wretched person. I love B because I was so angry at the way I let her me that I finally made the decision to change my life. To finally man up and go get what I wanted.

So that's my back story, all I want to do now is share a few things that I have learned along the way.

1. There is no substitute for actually going out approaching and conversing with women. Reading books or forums on picking up women can be a very helpful tool, but it does not work if you do not put it to practice.

2. Have fun! Seriously, I believe this may be the best piece of advice there is. If you go out and have fun, with your buddies, with people you meet, this not only puts you in an optimal state of mind for having success but people also being to feed off your vibe, its like a damn snowball rolling down hill.

3. Focus on your strengths not her beauty. Do not put her up on a pedestal. Yeah she's hot, so what? This may sound bad, but I simply assume that I am smarter, more successful, and a better person than every girl I approach. I'm not saying be disdainful, what I am saying is think about the things that make a great person. You don't know jack squat about her other than the way she looks, don't let those looks distract you from the great things you are offering her by approaching.

4. You have to make your intent known. It's not good enough to go talk to a girl, anyone can do that. Whether you do it physically, verbally, or preferably both, you need to convey your interest in an ironclad way. For you guys who are constantly friendzoned, keep this mofo in mind.

5. The only thing you can control is yourself. Maybe she's gonna be a ***** to you, maybe her friend is going to ****block you. The only factor you can control with 100% certainty is yourself. When things don't go the way you want, handle yourself with grace, don't get upset or angry.

6. Read the DJ Bible – the link is at the bottom of the forum, it has got great info from guys who are a helluva lot better with women than I am and better writers to boot.

Listen, I know that I have not said anything here that hasn't been said before. It's pretty hard to reinvent the wheel. But I just wanted to put something out there for all those guys who are trying to change themselves for the better by offering them a few of the things that really helped me figure it out. Also, I wanted to say thanks to the community for all the great info across the past couple years.

Who am I? I'm Tarfun and I'm a natural, an AFC reborn. I'm calm, confident, I know what I want and I intend to get it. I do not believe there is a woman on this earth that I cannot pick up if I am so inclined.

And you know how they say things are cyclical? Well, J I ran into her about 2 months ago after a KU basketball game and have been banging it out with her on the regular. She will not leave me alone. And B, She has been my Tuesday night slam piece for the last month.

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
 

thunder_god

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
785
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Great post! I'm in the process of trying to improve myself drastically. I know it ain't going to happen quickly but slowly over time but I am certain I will get there. Like you, I am also a late bloomer. I just got totally ****ed up in the head by some girl in my class, and that was the final straw. My whole life, my parents have been trying to control my life, but now I've had enough and just said **** it, I'm going to do what I want from now on for ME!
 

Jack89

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2012
Messages
69
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"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not"

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and great advice. Can you please elaborate on this quote.
 

Tarfun

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2014
Messages
22
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Location
Shreveport, LA
Hey guys thanks for the replies.

Thunder_god, you have begun a life changing journey! Stick with it, like anything else it takes time an practice. Trust me, it's worth it. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or just need some good old fashioned encouragement. Best regards.

Jack89, to me that quote is about how negative thoughts or perceptions tend to become self fulfilling prophecies. It's important to be analytical and recognize both your strengths and weakness in this process, but don't let your weaknesses hold you down. In areas where we are weak, we are all capable of improvement. Personally, I had a lot of negative perceptions about myself when I first began and that quote kind of hit home for me. For me, success, no matter how small, is what killed those perceptions. I still love the small things, a smile, a playful hit, a feigned expression of being offended, most of all because they remind me of how far I've come. TLDR: it's just some inner game gobbledygook :)
 
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