First post. How do I proceed?

So a few months ago I met this girl through mutual friends.

Got to know each other received some insight from mutual friends that she was into me and it seemed she was.

Time passes and we all go out one night. End up hooking up (no sex).

Next night go out again and hook up. She wants me to come back to her place but I drove with a friend and am his only ride home. I say no.

I do not reach out to her immediately and hear form a friend she is wondering why.

Now, I'm really into her and I believe this is where I go wrong. We start texting and there's a bit too much "how was work today" conversation.

In any event, about a week later we go see a movie with a group and chill and her interest is peaking.

throughout the next week she is suggesting we hang out. Issue is, there is constantly a reason after she agrees to hang that she cannot but she ALWAYS counteroffers. The counter offer is then unable to work out. This happens three times in a row.

Then finally is able to make it over for a movie. It goes ok, not great and its difficult for me to escalate.

Finally, we (me and some friends) stop by a bar she is at for a bday (she invited me) but shes wasted and we hardly communicate.

the next day i text her asking if she made it home- no response.

I go NC for about 3 weeks and then get a text around 11 PM about 4 days ago asking if i ever go out anymore and why she doesn't see me anymore.

I respond "I do go out" followed by "Btw, new phone who is this?"

No response. Should I just continue NC and if I see her out I see her out or did I miss an opportunity by texting the new phone thing (which btw, i didnt have a new phone)?

Southcarolina13 said:

Next night go out again and hook up. She wants me to come back to her place but I drove with a friend and am his only ride home.

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Whoever came up with the phrase 'Bros before hoes' should be locked up and caged. You are either a hunter or the hunted. Sadly you fall into the latter category.

mangotot said:

Whoever came up with the phrase 'Bros before hoes' should be locked up and caged. You are either a hunter or the hunted. Sadly you fall into the latter category.

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Thanks for the feedback.

You are right, but I feel as though there is a line. Guy had no ride back, was wasted (in fact, we had a situation where there were two girls that wanted us to come over together, which we did..so I got laid this night regardless though id prefer the other girl obviously. I should have noted this in the original post-it wasnt like we went home and played tittily winks.).

Further, part of me thought that I didn't want to come across as to eager with this one to the point where I would be willing to simply ditch a friend who was with us and he would have been standing there like "for real" stuck 35 minutes form any place of residence?

Besides I don't necessarily think this is where interest was lost in fact I knw it wasn't. It was obvious she was still interested...I think it was me be too available with her cnacelling and counteroffers (all of which I said would work out)....at one point she even said "thanks for being so flexible".

But the last sentence of my post includes that I'm truly wondering about.

I don't think you did anything wrong OP. I can't think of anything I would have done different in your situation. You may wait a week or so and try one more time, then call it quits with her and charge forward to the NEXT..

logicallefty said:

I don't think you did anything wrong OP. I can't think of anything I would have done different in your situation. You may wait a week or so and try one more time, then call it quits with her and charge forward to the NEXT..

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I guess more specifically I'm wondering about my last comment just for future reference.

Was it smart to respond after 3 weeks NC to "why dont you ever go out why dont I see you"

with "i do go out", "btw new phone who is this?" even though I did not have a new phone?

Just looking to see how I should play future situations such as these.

Perfectly done, proceed this way. If she were gaga over you she'd of messaged you in that 3 week time span. But she didn't. Toss it in the low interest/low value pile and continue to not give 2 fücks about if she ever texts you again. Who knows who she was banging in this time period. She could of snapped off 14 dıcks by now and contacted you after she became bored. In fact, the "Btw, new phone who is this?" line was boss.

Give respect where it's given, dismiss otherwise.

VladPatton said:

Perfectly done, proceed this way. If she were gaga over you she'd of messaged you in that 3 week time span. But she didn't. Toss it in the low interest/low value pile and continue to not give 2 fücks about if she ever texts you again. Who knows who she was banging in this time period. She could of snapped off 14 dıcks by now and contacted you after she became bored. In fact, the "Btw, new phone who is this?" line was boss.

Give respect where it's given, dismiss otherwise.

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That was my thought process. There were def times i came across too eager, but you learn from it.

I like that last quote of yours.