Standing when introduced to a lady?

Atom Smasher · Mar 30, 2015

I'd like you guys' opinion on this.

If I'm sitting and am introduced to anyone, male or female, I usually stand and shake hands.

When it comes to women, do you guys usually stand or remain seated?

zekko · Mar 30, 2015

I rarely find myself in situations this formal. But it seems to me that standing would be seen as a classy thing to do. Whether or not a woman appreciates "classy" is another discussion.

Does shaking hands count as kino? Some guys say you should shake men's hands and women get a hug. I don't know, I've never been a hugger, but I could see how it might be effective.

guru1000 · Mar 30, 2015

It's never the act; it's the underlying motive.

For example, I still open car doors for ladies, as I'm a gentleman of my own volition. However, should I open car doors as an obsequious attempt to get in their good graces, it would be an entirely different dynamic. Same act, different motive.

taiyuu_otoko · Mar 30, 2015

Depends on who the other folks are, and the situation. Usually I do it without thinking.

The general idea of any polite behavior is make others feel at ease, welcome, and not on the spot. Like you enjoy their company and respect their presence.

And as often happens, form follows function as much as function follows form.

And as guru says, intention is everything.

zekko · Mar 30, 2015

guru1000 said:
For example, I still open car doors for ladies, as I'm a gentleman of my own volition. However, should I open car doors as an obsequious attempt to get in their good graces, it would be an entirely different dynamic. Same act, different motive.

taiyuu otoko said:
The general idea of any polite behavior is make others feel at ease, welcome, and not on the spot. Like you enjoy their company and respect their presence

Espi said:
Also I always open doors for ladies-- this includes car doors. I personally think that the key is to maintain the right mixture of assertiveness along with the humility. That mixture is perhaps what makes a man very attractive.

I love reading quotes like this because it shows that even the guys here don't believe the whole "women only want @ssholes" nonsense. Men here will pay lip service to this idea, but peel back the onion to see their actual behavior and it tells a very different story.

Atom Smasher · Mar 30, 2015

True that.

However, I notice that by far, most men remain seated at least in this part of the country (NY/CT border). I see it time and again. At a table, for example, I'm the only one who stands, and although I think this is the classy thing to do, apparently I'm pretty alone in my opinion here in the Northeast.

evan12 · Mar 30, 2015

You have to stand when you shake hand of anyone, this is my traditions , but here in Canada people dont care alot about these things , I am the only one who stand and shake the hands of new employees , others not even shake their hands .

VladPatton · Mar 31, 2015

You should stand, yes. However, if you're at a bar, sitting on a lounge couch, surrounded by your friends, laughing away, and some chick you never met before pops in, standing will make you look weird and awkward, so you don't in that case. Otherwise, you stand and shake hands.

TarantulaHawk · Mar 31, 2015

Atom Smasher said:
I'd like you guys' opinion on this.

If I'm sitting and am introduced to anyone, male or female, I usually stand and shake hands.

When it comes to women, do you guys usually stand or remain seated?

I always stand up. I thought everyone did that. Never paid much attention to it as standing up to shake hands seemed the normal thing to do.

Kailex · Mar 31, 2015

I've stood up for both. Nice firm handshake too.

KingBeef · Mar 31, 2015

I personally always "stood up" to shake a gentleman's hand. It shows that your courteous, respectful and well mannered.

ubercat · Apr 6, 2015

Curious ESPI - do u do the side hug.
I had a friend who was good at that and would amp it up with a cheek kiss.

My variation is I shake hands (but extend one finger gently on their wrist) - they never notice and it does seem to warm them up faster.

logicallefty · Apr 6, 2015

In a professional context I always stand, male or female, no matter what.

In a personal context, I stand most of the time for anyone. BUT, if a woman looks b|tchy from the start then I don't stand for her, and may not even put my hand out.

Atom Smasher · Apr 7, 2015

I'm with you on that, LL.

Now that you've mentioned it, I notice that I do a quick assessment before standing. Interestingly, I always stand for a man (unless it's a quick-fire, informal meeting), but I assess whether a woman is worth it. Usually she passes muster but once in a while when a real b!tch is involved I won't stand and will only barely acknowledge her.

ubercat · Apr 12, 2015

Thanks Espi

I'm assuming this is for warm approach

Standing when introduced to a lady?

Atom Smasher

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zekko

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guru1000

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taiyuu_otoko

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zekko

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Atom Smasher

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evan12

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VladPatton

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TarantulaHawk

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Kailex

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ubercat

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