Promotion / Sick Time

Desdinova · Mar 27, 2015

So I got approached by someone with some "inside" information at work. Apparently, she's been telling the head boss that I'd be really good management material. However, they generated my attendance at work, and it's been less than stellar. So apparently, I'm going to end up chatting with the boss about that.

So I've been brainstorming some of the things that have caused me to miss work over the last while...

- I'm a single dad for half of my life, and his mom won't pick up any slack. My kid gets sick, he gives it to me. I get sick, I give it to him.

- My kid has been diagnosed with "disabilities" that sometimes cause him to be sent home from school.

- I've had to deal with my heart acting up a few months back. I had to aggressively persist in getting things looked at and diagnosed.

- The workplace was stressful as fvck with the last boss we had. Not only that, I've been dealing with the damn divorce. Stress has been plentiful over the last little while.

- I have allergies and athsma. Spring time sucks

- I work with people who have weakened immune systems. If I go to work sick and infect them, it can kill them.

- Back in December I had a work-related accident that had me absent for 4 days.

I'm not sure exactly what I should be telling him. I've never been "talked to" about my absence from work since I started there 6 1/2 years ago. Hell, I don't even remember the times I was absent.

Any suggestions on what to say or how to approach this when I get called into the office?

Sonic1 · Mar 27, 2015

Desdinova said:
So I got approached by someone with some "inside" information at work. Apparently, she's been telling the head boss that I'd be really good management material. However, they generated my attendance at work, and it's been less than stellar. So apparently, I'm going to end up chatting with the boss about that.

So I've been brainstorming some of the things that have caused me to miss work over the last while...

- I'm a single dad for half of my life, and his mom won't pick up any slack. My kid gets sick, he gives it to me. I get sick, I give it to him.

- My kid has been diagnosed with "disabilities" that sometimes cause him to be sent home from school.

- I've had to deal with my heart acting up a few months back. I had to aggressively persist in getting things looked at and diagnosed.

- The workplace was stressful as fvck with the last boss we had. Not only that, I've been dealing with the damn divorce. Stress has been plentiful over the last little while.

- I have allergies and athsma. Spring time sucks

- I work with people who have weakened immune systems. If I go to work sick and infect them, it can kill them.

- Back in December I had a work-related accident that had me absent for 4 days.

I'm not sure exactly what I should be telling him. I've never been "talked to" about my absence from work since I started there 6 1/2 years ago. Hell, I don't even remember the times I was absent.

Any suggestions on what to say or how to approach this when I get called into the office?

Just be honest about everything. Everybody has a time in their life when this kind of stuff will happen to them. It's a temporary situation in other words. If you aren't honest about it and they know something, what do you think will happen? You probably won't be considered for management for a while after that if you lie.

Obviously, you're doing a good job or you wouldn't be considered for management. Focus on your performance while at work in spite of your absences. If the bosses are smart, they will see that you in fact are handling business in spite of your other responsibilities away from work.

Good Luck!

zekko · Mar 28, 2015

I like the bit about how the people you work with have suppressed immune systems. Some places tell you not to come to work when you're sick so you don't spread it around, resulting in even more absences.

I'm not sure I would focus on areas that would indicate that you are likely to continue to miss work. Like the single dad thing, although if your superviser is a woman, she'd probably be sympathetic.

If you have the type of job where you can keep your work caught up without being there everyday, it may not even be that big of a deal. In a lot of places, the supervisers miss more work than anybody.

taiyuu_otoko · Mar 28, 2015

Stay away from anything that may sound like an ongoing problem. They'll be sympathetic, but then you won't get a promotion. As harsh as it sounds, don't say anything about your kid.

I'd play up recent problems with the divorce, explain that you're just about at the end of the tunnel, and once you're done, you'll never have to deal with lawyers ever again. Idea is to make the absences sound like they were due to a one off, never happen again type problem. Nothing that could conceivably come up again.

But be careful about blaming the ex. Don't say anything negative, or even mention her.

Maybe even say both you and your ex (and her family) get along great it's just those goddamned lawyers that mess everything up.

Blame only the lawyers, etc. Everybody will agree they are all vampires.

(Bonus if your boss has had negative experiences with attorneys / divorce etc.)

BetterCallSaul · Mar 28, 2015

taiyuu_otoko said:
Stay away from anything that may sound like an ongoing problem. They'll be sympathetic, but then you won't get a promotion. As harsh as it sounds, don't say anything about your kid.

I'd play up recent problems with the divorce, explain that you're just about at the end of the tunnel, and once you're done, you'll never have to deal with lawyers ever again. Idea is to make the absences sound like they were due to a one off, never happen again type problem. Nothing that could conceivably come up again.

But be careful about blaming the ex. Don't say anything negative, or even mention her.

Maybe even say both you and your ex (and her family) get along great it's just those goddamned lawyers that mess everything up.

Blame only the lawyers, etc. Everybody will agree they are all vampires.

(Bonus if your boss has had negative experiences with attorneys / divorce etc.)

Hmm...this is an interesting take on the situation. When I read over the OPs reasons, pretty much only the first 2, in my opinion, would be needed. However in cases like this where a superior at work is grilling me over performance which may/may not have been impacted by issues in my personal life, I usually get pretty aggressive. I don't take s#it from anyone trying to run my personal life and I really amuses me when people at work think they have some type of authority over it because they're used to getting their way at work.

So as for those first two reasons, I would have focused on those and made very clear that although you have daily time constraints with children due to divorce and/or medical disabilities, I would make very clear you have absolutely no intent whatsoever of apologizing for taking care of your family and putting them first. I have no real ulterior motive for saying something like that, but being very firm about it does several things:

1) Let's them know pretty clear this is an issue you will not budge on
2) Their future expectations can be adjusted based on this information
3) He/she could get p!ssed off about this and future interactions will be based off of it
4) He/she could be impressed that you stand for something and have some principles

I accept that when I tell someone off like this who's in a position of authority that it could backfire but there's simply no way I ever let people walk over me, even if my job depends on it.

Alvafe · Mar 30, 2015

problem is simple, from my point of view is this talk is to know if you can deal with the extra work, and can stay more, being the boss will mean more work for you, and normally they will want him to give a example to the others so you need to show up always on time, work more time and can't leave work for things like sickness yours or kids,
I had one time when I was in the army when my sarge was telling us about how and who he would pick people for promotion was everything the one who work harder, smarter, and stronger and he had to choose btw 2 and one of tehn ahd to leaver earlier or miss a day because he was sick he would choose the one who never was sick, since he is more stronger then you

it will also matter little if it a place who have a work at home, and that talk is more too see if your profile will be on line with tehy already have on you.

other thing to consider too is if you will want the promotion, better pay also means less free time, more work, and more stress.

I wouldn't recomend you lie about anything, just show then you can be interested, how well you work, and possible start to look around for another job, one thing you guys should always look for is your value on market, I don't mean hop each 6 months of each place, just have in mind then some places can give a better place to work, less stress and or more money

The Duke · Mar 30, 2015

I'd use the "divorce" excuse. Its something that happened in the past and is no longer an issue. Its also something that most understand and can relate to which helps with sympathy.

KarmaSutra · Mar 30, 2015

Your excuses are your own. When you reach a management position, the last fvcking thing you want to hear (let alone give) are goddamned excuses. If he pegs you down, merely tell him you've had (always in a reflective, but authoritative tone) personal issues, but you've made every effort to rectify those in order to keep your focus.

The more bullsh!t you spout to him, the less interest he has. He only wants to hear three things:

1. How you'll make him/her better looking to their superiors.
2. How you'll stream-line and make them more profitable.
3. How you'll take their issues as your own, above your own.

Either you'll be the Big Dog, or they'll throw you the scraps like the rest of the mutts.

The Duke · Mar 30, 2015

lol, Karma knows whats going on! those higher ups are pretty one dimensional.

KarmaSutra · Mar 30, 2015

Management is all about productivity from those beneath you.

I have an entire group under my lead, they're well rewarded for good deeds, and sorely punished for those trying to 'get by'.

MOTU · Mar 30, 2015

BetterCallSaul said:
Hmm...this is an interesting take on the situation. When I read over the OPs reasons, pretty much only the first 2, in my opinion, would be needed. However in cases like this where a superior at work is grilling me over performance which may/may not have been impacted by issues in my personal life, I usually get pretty aggressive. I don't take s#it from anyone trying to run my personal life and I really amuses me when people at work think they have some type of authority over it because they're used to getting their way at work.

So as for those first two reasons, I would have focused on those and made very clear that although you have daily time constraints with children due to divorce and/or medical disabilities, I would make very clear you have absolutely no intent whatsoever of apologizing for taking care of your family and putting them first. I have no real ulterior motive for saying something like that, but being very firm about it does several things:

1) Let's them know pretty clear this is an issue you will not budge on
2) Their future expectations can be adjusted based on this information
3) He/she could get p!ssed off about this and future interactions will be based off of it
4) He/she could be impressed that you stand for something and have some principles

I accept that when I tell someone off like this who's in a position of authority that it could backfire but there's simply no way I ever let people walk over me, even if my job depends on it.

^^^This. Repped.^^^

Be clear and concise. The less you say the better. THEN, qualify: I am committed to getting my work done. When I do have to tend to matters with my son, I make sure that I do whatever is needed to stay caught up and meet the needs of the business.

Promotion / Sick Time

Desdinova

Master Don Juan

Sonic1

Don Juan

zekko

Master Don Juan

taiyuu_otoko

Master Don Juan

BetterCallSaul

Master Don Juan

Alvafe

Master Don Juan

The Duke

Master Don Juan

KarmaSutra

Banned

The Duke

Master Don Juan

KarmaSutra

Banned

MOTU

Master Don Juan