Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

I'm starting to fall apart

Desdinova

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My divorce is near completion. However, I need to get together with my stupid fvck head lawyer to discuss paying her legal fees for the last court date. My goddam lawyer was the sole cause of the last court date because he wasn't responding to neither me, nor my ex's lawyer. Now I've been slapped with a chunk of money to pay. I was supposed to see him last week to finalize it, but he cancelled the appointment due to an "emergency".

My ex is bytching and nagging me about the whole thing.

I'm so fvcking frustrated, pissed off, depressed, and at the end of my rope with this whole thing. This divorce has been going on three years too long.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that my ex's mother is paying her legal fees, so I'm essentially divorcing her mom. She can blow as much lawyer money as she wants. I've been madly stuffing away money to pay for mine.

Seriously, I'm either going to go smash the 5hit out of her car or fvcking kill myself over all this crap. I can't handle this 5hit anymore.
 

Bible_Belt

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The difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road are the skid marks in front of the skunk.

If it makes you feel any better, lawyers are mostly miserable themselves.

I hope you get everything worked out.
 

evan12

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What you feel is normal, and good you post it here , you need a friend that you can output all your anger and rage , don't play the "cool" game when you are not , that will increase your depression and inner anger .
You are angry on many things and you need to get it out , I advise you to see a therapist to blow out all what you have inside you , that will make you feel better (they charge a lot I know ) but try to find some one from yahoo answers or other community websites , you will surprise how many people offer help for free, especially if you need it .
The main reason why women over come these hard situations because they have social circle that work as a sink to their emotions , while men keep it inside them until they suicide or get sick .
 

evan12

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another thing, when I am depressed I drink one redbull so I get better ,not sure if that will work on you too
 

logicallefty

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Oh brother I know this frustration. I have hired some good lawyers in the past but I've also had ones that were just like yours. I moved to teaching myself how to represent myself when possible. It takes a lot of hard work and becomes like a second job but if you do it right you can save a ton of money and come out ahead. There will be no more delays or bs excuses why your issues don't get addressed. No more cracks for important facts to fall in between you and the Judge. No more under the table deals going on between your lawyer and the other side or the Judge. No more bs that the phone is the only way to correspond in 2015 the phone is the worst because there is no paper trail. No more answers being based on the lawyer's interest over yours. I suggest Googling some online materials called "Trial theater". And looking at the book "Represent Yourself in Court" by Nolo Press. Nolo also has books specific to self representation in specific areas including divorce. One thing I do sometimes is make my own case strategy and pay an attorney I trust $200 for a one hour consultation.. I hope it works out for you Des.
 

Tenacity

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Desdinova said:
My divorce is near completion. However, I need to get together with my stupid fvck head lawyer to discuss paying her legal fees for the last court date. My goddam lawyer was the sole cause of the last court date because he wasn't responding to neither me, nor my ex's lawyer. Now I've been slapped with a chunk of money to pay. I was supposed to see him last week to finalize it, but he cancelled the appointment due to an "emergency".

My ex is bytching and nagging me about the whole thing.

I'm so fvcking frustrated, pissed off, depressed, and at the end of my rope with this whole thing. This divorce has been going on three years too long.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that my ex's mother is paying her legal fees, so I'm essentially divorcing her mom. She can blow as much lawyer money as she wants. I've been madly stuffing away money to pay for mine.

Seriously, I'm either going to go smash the 5hit out of her car or fvcking kill myself over all this crap. I can't handle this 5hit anymore.

My friend, don't kill yourself brother, I will pray for you because while I haven't been married I have SEEN first hand what the hell goes on here. This type of shyt makes a man just say fvck it and blow his brains out.

I'm telling you NOT to blow your brains out because you have more to life to live for. You made a mistake, you get married, you invested in something that had no real foundation to it (a woman) that could turn negative on you at anytime (a woman) without anything you can do to turn it (a woman) back positive.

You are a smart guy, you have business sense, get your bone head lawyer to get on track so you can get this finalized. Then focus on your career/business aspects and whatever passion you have in life.

This is a MAJOR bump in the road and a financial set back, but it's not your death nail.

And I must repeat this for anybody reading this damn thread...DO NOT FVCKING GET MARRIED UNDER ANY FVCKING CIRCUMSTANCE. You guys continue to see that guys are getting railroaded by their "Soulmate" and their "The One" and their "Angel Sent From God". It's all bullshyt, it's been bullshyt, it's an industry setup to pay off Divorce Lawyers and Judges....it's all BULLSHYT. Deal with women without a Legal Relationship, do not get married and don't get them pregnant, and no cohabitation with them.
 

Tenacity

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YawataNoKami said:

Damn, I never heard of this forum before. It looks great. This is from The List: http://forum.mensdivorce.com//viewtopic.php?t=13374

If your STBX files first, she's already plotted her next 10 moves against you. This is not where you want to be. If she files first, you can expect:

1) a restraining order that evicts you from your house and prevents you from contacting your kids.

2) to pay temporary child support, temporary alimony, community debt, and/or bills accumulated by your STBX during these proceedings. This can be 1 to 3 years. You'll be bankrupt well before trial.

3) to pay court costs and other fees, in addition to expenses mentioned above: GAL; Custody/Child Evaluator; Psychological evaluation; Your STBX's attorney fees.

EXPECT HER TO LIE. EXPECT THEM TO BELIEVE HER. EXPECT NO FAIRNESS. EXPECT TO NEED MOUNTAINS OF EVIDENCE TO PROVE YOUR CASE.

Their goal is to "bleed you dry" and beat you into submission. You'll never see the last of their dirty tricks. It behooves you therefore to be very prepared very early.
And guys still run around believing the bullshyt that women are emotional beings, incapable of using logic and ration. If they were emotional dumb ass.es, then how are they able to manipulate, deceive and screw you in the Court like this? Huh? Guys wake the hell up and realize that this market of women are fvcked up. Stop entering into legal agreements with these people. Feminism has destroyed TRUE LOVE, women are attracted to you based on the utility you bring....which will either be a good time, good company, MONEY or good sex...all of which she can easily replace with another guy once she gets "done" with you.
 

YawataNoKami

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I worked for 3 years in the family court system..............the cases,the stories,the lies...................fvck.
 

Augustus_McCrae

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Des,

I've been there man. 3+ year divorce. Massive attorney fees. Alimony....

Try to keep in mind that this too, shall pass. Try not to give your ex the power over you to cause you pain and anger.

One day the divorce will be over and that truckload of bullshvt will be lifted from your shoulders. Be thankful that you are in the prime of your life and the peak of your SMV and will no longer have that cvnt in your life.

Hang in there, it does get better.

-Augustus-
 

Tictac

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Des,

Been there (3+ years, @ $ 75,000 each, adverse settlement, crazy ex-wife that keeps using the law to get at me...) done that and most importantly - lived to tell the tale.

Without knuckling under, get the thing done for you and yours (you don't mention kids) doing the best you can with what you've got and where you are. That may not be much as divorce laws are extremely adverse to men. Family court law is quite crazy. It just is what it is and your situation will be decided under those laws.

And done doesn't mean done. It just allows the smoke to clear enough to prepare for they next foray.

There is life after this sh*t. But not on the day after.

There is nothing wrong with firing an incompetent lawyer and replacing him/her. Maybe not as the judgement is coming but subsequent. I did.

You will get through this.
 

AttackFormation

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Espi said:
In a very off-beat way it's good for the younger guys here on SS to know about the repercussions of divorce. You might be helping others think twice about marraige.
As a young guy... my impression is you would have to be a masochist, have a mental diagnose or been raised by feminists to still consider marriage today - and marriage wasn't standing on solid ground to me to begin with.
 

Tenacity

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AttackFormation said:
As a young guy... my impression is you would have to be a masochist, have a mental diagnose or been raised by feminists to still consider marriage today - and marriage wasn't standing on solid ground to me to begin with.
^^ Everybody needs to rep this. For the life of me I cannot understand why a guy gets married anymore? He sees the bullshyt going on, he knows it's going on, but for some strange reason he buys into the kool-aid that his chick is "different" and sent from God...and ALLLLLLL of those divorced men were just "wrong" in detecting their God send.

What's even more insane about this, is that there's no freaking benefits that a man gets from getting married. Absolutely none.

That's how you know people have been programmed and drunk the kool-aid. It's when they throw all logic out of the window and do something that makes absolutely no sense. It's like me jumping into a cage with a Lion believing him to be soft like "Samba" and being shocked when I get fvcked up.
 

ZTIME

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Desdinova said:
My divorce is near completion. However, I need to get together with my stupid fvck head lawyer to discuss paying her legal fees for the last court date. My goddam lawyer was the sole cause of the last court date because he wasn't responding to neither me, nor my ex's lawyer. Now I've been slapped with a chunk of money to pay. I was supposed to see him last week to finalize it, but he cancelled the appointment due to an "emergency". This is always the worst part of any divorce. Getting over the ex is bad enough, but when your constantly reminded of the whole situation through the checks you write or the cash you dole out, it just adds to the misery. Hopefully this is the last of the "fees" that you will have to pay.

My ex is bytching and nagging me about the whole thing. Is there any reason that you allow this communication with your ex to continue? Are there children involved, or do you work together? If not, just let the lawyer do your talking and stop any unnecessary communication. This *****ing from her only enables you to cling to the hate and to not move forward with your life.

I'm so fvcking frustrated, pissed off, depressed, and at the end of my rope with this whole thing. This divorce has been going on three years too long.You truly are at the end of this rope. The 3 year wait sounds about over, and you'll be able to let that rope go. As long as you don't cling to the rage and anger.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that my ex's mother is paying her legal fees, so I'm essentially divorcing her mom. She can blow as much lawyer money as she wants. I've been madly stuffing away money to pay for mine. If I read into this sentence, what I see is that the thing that pisses you off the most is that she seems to be having an easier time with this horrible time then you do and it makes you want to rage. You've got to dole out all this cash and struggle while she gets a free ride. After 3 years it may be time to stop clinging to the anger.

Seriously, I'm either going to go smash the 5hit out of her car or fvcking kill myself over all this crap. I can't handle this 5hit anymore. I've seen and read lots of situations like this. Sometimes When the end of the road is in sight, we tend to look back to how we got there. We're afraid to keep moving forward and let go of the anger that fueled us to our current destination. The truth is that at the end of this road there is a right or left hand turn which points your life in a new direction. Embrace the new direction and don't look back. This you can handle.
Embrace life brother. You'll be a better man for it.

Buddhist thought of the day:

Listening—everyone tells you that you should “talk it out.” Unfortunately, we do not reflect when we talk. Talking is good for venting, but listening is good for comprehension and insight. Find someone who wants to talk and listen to them without interjection or turning the conversation back to you. Soon you will start understanding a lot more about yourself.
 

mangotot

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It might be $hitty now but it'll be better once its over so keep your chin up.
 

Mr.Positive

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As others have said, hang in there Des!

It's easy to get overwhelmed sometimes, in all areas of life. What I do when that happens, is sit down and go over where I am right now. No more looking at things from the past. I am here, now, then I define where I want to go, what goals I want to achieve, where I want to better my life.

It removes the clutter of the past, allows seeing the present time in truth, and focus on bettering things for the future.
 

Knight's Cross

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It's Fight Club, but it worked for me after I divorced:

“Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart.”

Hang tough Des, dawn is approaching,

KC
 

Desdinova

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After my meltdown last night, I went out for a bit. I needed to get out and have a bit of fun. I ended up seeing the chick in this thread again. There's been some really good kino escalation. She was pulling on my hair, and wanted me to pull hers. I told her, "I'd better not".

She said "yeah, you might get in trouble!"

I said, "Yeah, cuz I pull good hair!"

She then told me about her bf's lack of confidence to do so in the bedroom.

So that's going well. She's still on the backburner though. I'm going out tonight to check out another investment who just broke up with her bf.

Last night, I decided to make a checklist of things that I want to accomplish after the divorce is finished. This should help me keep focused on the future and the things I want to accomplish. Some of them are very long term, and some of them may be a bit stupid, but I don't care. Here it is:

- Report lawyer to bar
- Invest kid's money
- Start sarging heavily again
- Give ex copy of the cheating proof
- Get name on parents house title
- Make music video
- Go to church for sarging
- Have a divorce party
- Record my second album
- Finish bedroom renos
- Get long term non-live-in girlfriend
- Start bathroom renos
- Move ahead with my TV Station project
- Get New Vehicle
- Plan vacation(s):
- Pay off house
- Hire someone to complete house renos
- Hire maid / yard care
- Get less physical job
 

AttackFormation

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She blames her boyfriend for not being "confident enough to pull her hair"... I understand she wants a confident guy, but why do women want you to pull their hair? what the f*ck is wrong with them? It's as if they want to simulate being ABUSED and that turns them on and they don't think you're a real man unless you have the balls to treat them like demeaned sh!t whether you want to or not. They WANT you to be no less than an abusive @sshole but they pretend they don't. Otherwise you're just a "pvssy" who "doesn't have the confidence" to treat her like garbage, if you don't fantasise about degrading her then you're not a real man. What if you have no such interest not because you aren't red pill but because you don't want to treat the mother of your children like an abused wh0re? I just don't f*cking get it... sorry for not directly responding to what you said, just had a meltdown in my head, it gets difficult to absorb this sh!t sometimes...

I think I was more on the mark than I intended to be with my half-joke of women getting happier if things returned to more of a stone age level...
 

Desdinova

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AttackFormation said:
I understand she wants a confident guy, but why do women want you to pull their hair? what the f*ck is wrong with them?
Here's how she described it:

BF: Puts his hands behind her head
Her: Puts her hands behind his head, grabs his hair, gives it a little pull to signal that she wants him to do the same
BF: "I'm sorry baby, did I hurt you?"

:crackup:

On the subject of abusing the bytch in bed, I have no problem doing that. I'll throw her around, rip her hair, beat the 5hit out of her ass, bite her nipples, whatever. It all causes emotional stimulation. If her BF isn't emotionally stimulating her in bed, she'll have no problem leaving his ass. I threw that tiny morsel her way to get her juices and imagination flowing. This chick is totally in the bag. All she's gotta do is cut loose the AFC that's coddling her and she'll get fvcked like she's on a carnival ride.
 
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