no firm counter offer no reply?

pete101 · Mar 24, 2015

is this probably the best way to respond to a fake counter offer?

i ask a girl out send her a text to get together tomorrow or thurs for a drink, she says unfortunately i am busy both weds and thurs but perhaps next week?

i haven't replied. i feel going forward even an 'ok' is pointless like i used to do in the past, her expecting me to chase up again next week. better to just accept low IL and don't waste my time, number deleted.. fair assumption right?

im not going to chase anymore, the IL needs to be there in the first place or im not playing.

om1xr · Mar 24, 2015

Don't make time for women who don't make time for you. Period.

Going ghost on flakes is the best thing to do from my experiences, they will either contact you or they won't. In both ways you won't waste time chasing and make sure to set up a date immediately for the ones who contact you and if they refuse you know they are just attention wh0ring you.

You did the right thing.

SmooveMooves · Mar 24, 2015

NOPE.

Fake counter offers like that are the STRING in which she was hoping you'd latch on and become an orbiter.

You handled it well, but me personally, I would've responded: 'I'll probably be swamped, just forget about it'. This shows your time is valuable and you offering up those days was very rare. Saying something like that could even lead to a real date & a quick fvck.

TarantulaHawk · Mar 24, 2015

pete101 said:
is this probably the best way to respond to a fake counter offer?

i ask a girl out send her a text to get together tomorrow or thurs for a drink, she says unfortunately i am busy both weds and thurs but perhaps next week?

i haven't replied. i feel going forward even an 'ok' is pointless like i used to do in the past, her expecting me to chase up again next week. better to just accept low IL and don't waste my time, number deleted.. fair assumption right?

im not going to chase anymore, the IL needs to be there in the first place or im not playing.

I wouldn't reply.

Or depending on my mood if I felt like being a wise azz I'd respond: I'll see your next week and raise it with a month of my own.

And drop her number.

Or even better yet do Trumps suggestion below +1 rep (I personally wouldn't chase her though):

I don't know why guys want ALL or NOTHING. She is girl, she is alive, and she responded.

"unfortunately i am busy both weds and thurs but perhaps next week?"
you say "perhaps"

Leave it open. What happens if she wants to f your brains out next week? Your ego is going to stand in the way? I don't think so. Always leave the lines of communication open. If you are sleeping with another girl next week, don't see her. If you aren't, go for it. There is no right or wrong way. Your end goal is to sleep with her, right? So it takes a little time. As long as she is not putting you down or costing you money, its all good.

nismo-4 · Mar 24, 2015

SmooveMooves said:
NOPE.

Fake counter offers like that are the STRING in which she was hoping you'd latch on and become an orbiter.

You handled it well, but me personally, I would've responded: 'I'll probably be swamped, just forget about it'. This shows your time is valuable and you offering up those days was very rare. Saying something like that could even lead to a real date & a quick fvck.

This is why the one strike rule for flakes is key.

Going ghost really isn't enough. All that does is make it easier for her to move on. Women are used to the ghosting tactic.

When a woman flakes, you have failed. She wouldn't be busy next weds for Channing Tatum, and you wouldn't be busy next weds for a double date with Kate Upton and Katy Perry.

I like this witty response, but you can also turn the tables by setting up a date with her next week and then text her that you started seeing someone else or better. Or you just had sex with your ex and you two are working things out. Extra points if you send a pic of you with a better girl.

We need more witty responses.

But if you do ghost, delete her from all communication platforms.

insanity is humanity · Mar 24, 2015

"Going ghost really isn't enough. All that does is make it easier for her to move on. Women are used to the ghosting tactic".

Should make a post about this actually.... we need a new tactic. Ill be experimenting see what works and what doesnt. Being afc for 5 mins wont kill anybody but i dont feel like hearing **** for using inconventional tactics that you guys try so hard to avoid. Honestly if you are a master donjuan you can do anything you want say what you want, thats what makes you a master right? Like **** man all i see is the same used and tried tactics all the time. Think outnof the box damnit thisnis not hard at all. But no i wont be making a post anytime soon about this i need some time, not only to perfect it, but to not be a "AFC" which is fun sometimes and i like to play with emotions personally. Just experience made me be able to use the old tactics that you guys hate and despise and would consider weak to my benefit.

Trump · Mar 25, 2015

pete101 said:
is this probably the best way to respond to a fake counter offer?

i ask a girl out send her a text to get together tomorrow or thurs for a drink, she says unfortunately i am busy both weds and thurs but perhaps next week?

i haven't replied. i feel going forward even an 'ok' is pointless like i used to do in the past, her expecting me to chase up again next week. better to just accept low IL and don't waste my time, number deleted.. fair assumption right?

im not going to chase anymore, the IL needs to be there in the first place or im not playing.

I don't know why guys want ALL or NOTHING. She is girl, she is alive, and she responded.

"unfortunately i am busy both weds and thurs but perhaps next week?"
you say "perhaps"

Leave it open. What happens if she wants to f your brains out next week? Your ego is going to stand in the way? I don't think so. Always leave the lines of communication open. If you are sleeping with another girl next week, don't see her. If you aren't, go for it. There is no right or wrong way. Your end goal is to sleep with her, right? So it takes a little time. As long as she is not putting you down or costing you money, its all good. :rockon:

Zion · Mar 25, 2015

Trump said:
I don't know why guys want ALL or NOTHING. She is girl, she is alive, and she responded.

"unfortunately i am busy both weds and thurs but perhaps next week?"
you say "perhaps"

Leave it open. What happens if she wants to f your brains out next week? Your ego is going to stand in the way? I don't think so. Always leave the lines of communication open. If you are sleeping with another girl next week, don't see her. If you aren't, go for it. There is no right or wrong way. Your end goal is to sleep with her, right? So it takes a little time. As long as she is not putting you down or costing you money, its all good. :rockon:

This.

Some people actually do have a life of their own. But yeah, how dare she not cancel all her plans in order to meet up with you?

Also I hate these stupid Chaning Tatum / Brad Pitt analogies. You're not either of them, so why compare yourself to them?

backseatjuan · Mar 25, 2015

Why adopt regected stance? Why not flip it and assume she is busy and ask her what other day this week she can make time? A girl just yesterday in online rejected my invite on today and said maybe saturday, to which I replied I might be busy saturday, so maybe and asked if she can some other day during the week. Tomorrow I got a date. I plan to fvck her real good.

pyros · Mar 25, 2015

backseatjuan said:
Why adopt regected stance? Why not flip it and assume she is busy and ask her what other day this week she can make time? A girl just yesterday in online rejected my invite on today and said maybe saturday, to which I replied I might be busy saturday, so maybe and asked if she can some other day during the week. Tomorrow I got a date. I plan to fvck her real good.

I would reply to her with someting like: "busy girl"

Anyway, I dont understand why so many guys keep falling into this trap over and over, and they dont learn from other's experiences...

Her reply means 99% of the time that she IS NOT INTERESTED.
Why does she say the part about "...what about nexst week?" , well because she leaves her options open. She is actually smarter than OP. If by any chance, that remaining 1% she has nothing else to do, or she changes her mind completely, she did not act bitc-hy to you so you're probably still ready to take her.
It is always better to leave your options open, and not burn any bridges. She does this very well.

Anyway as I said THIS IS A REJECTION 99% of the time.
If she wanted to see OP, she could have suggested any other time this week. ALmost everybody has a couple of free hours to meet someone they're interested in. No need to plan in for next week lol.

:-) · Mar 25, 2015

nismo-4 said:
Going ghost really isn't enough. All that does is make it easier for her to move on.

Why would a woman need to 'move on' if she was not interested in the first place?

And why would a man care about a woman's ease of moving on if he knows she isn't interested? 'Witty' responses just show masked bvtthurtedness.

A girl flaking doesn't mean a man has failed at all. It means he's determined someone not to waste his time with which means he can devote his time elsewhere. That's a success in my books.

Thefakeslimshady · Mar 25, 2015

I think I can offer some advice because I went through something similar a couple of weeks ago. Instead of using the word "perhaps“ the girl I asked used the word "maybe". This is a BS counteroffer she's keeping you as a back up option for her (never be an option for a girl) and letting you know that there is a spot open on her orbiter roster.

I actually found out that the girl who I asked. who was "busy". actually made other plans with another guy. And.that guy is a mutual friend of mine. My mutual friend also told me that she's never busy and she's always trying to make plans with him.

Just tell her you can't next week and leave it at that. Our just don't reply at all like you have already done.you could be optimistic and think that she probably really is a busy girl but I doubt it. This is a case of low IL and her attempting to keep you hovering around
For her own means.

nismo-4 · Mar 25, 2015

Enter the judge. My views.

:-) said:
Why would a woman need to 'move on' if she was not interested in the first place?

It's more like you're saving her the trouble of having to cut you off. If she looks uninterested from the get go, why would you bother?

And why would a man care about a woman's ease of moving on if he knows she isn't interested?

Well, she's already thinking about the number of a better man in her iphone. The fact is you tried to get with the girl and lost. Walk away. She don't put out sex, you don't put out attention. Don't be her emotional tampon/ beta orbiter/ friend.

'Witty' responses just show masked butthurtedness.

Depends on how they're used. Walking away could show it too. Has your ass ever tried a witty response? It'll work if she has a high enough interest. Hell, damn near anything works if her interest is high enough and you don't shoot yourself in the foot.

A girl flaking doesn't mean a man has failed at all. It means he's determined someone not to waste his time with which means he can devote his time elsewhere. That's a success in my books.

Oh, you didn't fail, you just didn't succeed. I gotcha. If she flakes on you, you most likely either:

1. F**ked up in the process of attracting her.
2. Got passed up for a better man or offer.
3. Was dealing with a woman who only wants attention and orbiters, hence false positives.
4. Didn't attract her enough for her to show up.

If life happens, either she really had something happen or she was in love with someone else.

Your goal was to date her and sex her. At the end of the day, you aren't with that girl. Of course you won't waste anymore time with her if you're smart. Try to find a girl who's actually interested in you.

Read between the lines.

:-) · Mar 25, 2015

nismo-4 said:
It's more like you're saving her the trouble of having to cut you off. If she looks uninterested from the get go, why would you bother?

^ What do you mean by this? She isn't interested so what trouble is there in cutting her off/going ghost? Bother with what?

And why would a man care about a woman's ease of moving on if he knows she isn't interested?

Well, she's already thinking about the number of a better man in her iphone. The fact is you tried to get with the girl and lost. Walk away. She don't put out sex, you don't put out attention. Don't be her emotional tampon/ beta orbiter/ friend.

Huh???? What are you talking about? You're the one advocating giving her a 'witty response'. We already know she's gone. Why are you advocating 'witty responses' when you know she's gone?

'Witty' responses just show masked butthurtedness.

Depends on how they're used. Walking away could show it too. Has your ass ever tried a witty response? It'll work if she has a high enough interest. Hell, damn near anything works if her interest is high enough and you don't shoot yourself in the foot.

Huh? You just said she's gone. Why would you even bother with a witty response? Yes my a$$ has tried many witty responses. Have you not read my posts If she has high enough interest then why the need for witty responses seeing as you are advocating a witty response to a girl with no interest???? You're making no sense!

A girl flaking doesn't mean a man has failed at all. It means he's determined someone not to waste his time with which means he can devote his time elsewhere. That's a success in my books.

Oh, you didn't fail, you just didn't succeed. I gotcha. If she flakes on you, you most likely either:

1. F**ked up in the process of attracting her.
2. Got passed up for a better man or offer.
3. Was dealing with a woman who only wants attention and orbiters, hence false positives.
4. Didn't attract her enough for her to show up.

If life happens, either she really had something happen or she was in love with someone else.

Your goal was to date her and sex her. At the end of the day, you aren't with that girl. Of course you won't waste anymore time with her if you're smart. Try to find a girl who's actually interested in you.

What? Didn't fail AND didn't succeed? What does that even mean?????

My responses in red/brown or whatever that color is. (See - witty response).

Yewki · Mar 26, 2015

What Trump and Zion said.

Going NC over this is too extreme. Responding with something passive aggressive (i.e. "I'll prob be busy, forget it") is just dumb. Coming up with some elaborate lie to "get her" is... pathetic. All because she declined and countered with something vague? Wow. Butt hurt much?

Respond like a normal, decent person who has other options and isn't desperate. That's it. The end.

nismo-4 · Mar 26, 2015

Yewki said:
What Trump and Zion said.

Going NC over this is too extreme. Responding with something passive aggressive (i.e. "I'll prob be busy, forget it") is just dumb. Coming up with some elaborate lie to "get her" is... pathetic. All because she declined and countered with something vague? Wow. Butt hurt much?

Respond like a normal, decent person who has other options and isn't desperate. That's it. The end.

Of course she declined and responded with something vague. She wasn't interested. Do interested girls do that sh*t with you? Didn't think so.

Some say that a phonecall flake should get this response: That's fine, I have other options, then hang up before she speaks.

If a new woman flakes or suddenly stops answering, she is totally deleted. She's blocked if online. I go by the one strike rule until sex happens, then I'll raise the strikes.

Going ghost on a flake is basically admitting you lost and moved on and refuse to be an orbiter or chaser. If a woman really likes you, she'll make time for you.

Anargyros · Mar 26, 2015

nismo-4 said:
Enter the judge. My views.

Read between the lines.

From what I've read, it sounds like if you fail to attract her, it's always because you messed up somehow. Isn't a bit too narcissistic to think that it actually depends entirely on you whether you attract a girl or not?. I believe she might be not be interested at all and there's no PUA tactic you can use on her to raise an inexistent IL.

ImTheDoubleGreatest! · Mar 27, 2015

You have been on here for 9 years dude. Come on. What advice would you give to somebody else if they had asked this question?

There's you're answer.

Yewki · Mar 30, 2015

nismo-4 said:
Going ghost on a flake is basically admitting you lost and moved on and refuse to be an orbiter or chaser. If a woman really likes you, she'll make time for you.

Going ghost at the very first sign of resistance is also a good way to safeguard a fragile ego.

This girl didn't flake either. She just declined an offer and gave a vague counter. She could still be interested. Why so scared to find out? We also don't know the back story. What previous contact has the OP had with her? Maybe he only talked to her for 30 seconds one time to get her number. Why would she want to "move a mountain" to be with someone who talked to her for 30 seconds? If anything that would be a red flag.

Who Dares Win · Mar 30, 2015

1) protect your own ego and win "the battle"

-no response
-witty line
-set a date and flake and so on..

2)keep it open while not investing anything in it

-polite response with no counter offer, she either contacts you back or nothing is lost

-reframe, talk a little bit with her to show you're not affected from it and once rapport has been established gradually retreat, she either will let you go or open again

Dont get me wrong there is not shame in option 1, sometime you just need to return a girl what she gave you, however we're clever guys here so we try to get the most while putting the least.

I tried option 2 myself most of the times and it worked about 30% of the times.

no firm counter offer no reply?

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