New girl keeps questioning my past.

equinox654 · Dec 9, 2014

Started seeing a girl she seems cool and all but one thing is driving me crazy.

Aparantly one of her girlfriends knows me and told her that I meet women and string them along for sex and then dump them. Most likely her friend is an old plate that I discarded. She won't tell me who BTW.

Since her friend tipped her off she seems to be focusing on how many women I've been with and basically making comments that make me sound like a *****.
Take last night for example. Over the phone she said: "I bet you have more girls numbers in your phone than family and friends". Well she's right and I didn't really know how to respond to that.

Ended up saying " you know... I'd have to look".
Her response was "I don't like that about you. I like everything, but that."

Didn't want to completely dismiss it. I want to keep a frame that exudes the fact that she can be easily replaced. Next time she brings it up... I'm just going to tell her: "I'm not getting into my past with you and it really make you less attractive to keep bringing it up".

What do you guys think? Have any past experience in a situation like this?

VladPatton · Dec 9, 2014

She actually said: "I don't like that about you" huh? Damn. Just reciprocate with: "what are you practicing to be a detective??"

If she can't stop with this bullshıt you're gonna have to drop her. Or just flat out ask her how many cὀcks she banged, and get graphic with it: "did they bust on your face, or were they all internal combustions?....so did you swallow?...how many of em railed you in public??" lol

BetterCallSaul · Dec 9, 2014

Classic really. She's using a line to try and shame you for being a man. That's essentially what it boils down to; she doesn't like it that you have options thus she has less 'control' than what she might like or is used to. Blow it off every time she asks; if she persists, call her on it. Still persists after that? Walk.

MtnMan · Dec 9, 2014

Danger said:
You: What if my exes are family members, does that count?

Always reframe. Bonus points for integrating C+F into the reframe.

awesome!

equinox654 · Dec 9, 2014

I think I got her right where I want her. Seems like really high IL. Practically begging for me to come over to see her.

Forgot another part though. During that conversation I was going through McDonalds. Heard me tell the girl at the window. "Thank you ma'am, have a good night".
I said it in a pleasant tone of course. She asked if I was flirting with her.
Me: no, she looks 17 and fat to top it off.
Her: well I saw you a while back with an ugly girl.
Me: I remember seeing you that night yes an ugly girl was following me around. I didn't want to be rude and snuck off with a friend when he came by.
Her: did you get her number
Me: no didn't get hers
Her: then whose?
Me: some girl in her early 20s asked me for mine after I danced with her. Think I drank too much and gave her my old one though.

That's how that whole discussion started. She thinks since I didn't tell the butter face to **** off immediately that I'll just go **** anything that looks my way lol.
Which was before we even dated.

I was married to an ice queen for 8 years. Seemed like she would **** test and shame hourly. Wouldn't have surprised me if she had it setup on a spreadsheet a week in advance on what to **** with me about. Needless to say that's the fastest way to run me off. No matter how hot she looked in that corset Friday lol.

Vulpine · Dec 9, 2014

Point out her issues to her:
insecurity
jealousy
low self-esteem
muck-raking

"You should tuck that insecurity in before you trip over it."

Or, of course, agree and escalate...

"As a matter of fact, I do. Though, its getting to be clear that I should have one less."

"Yep. Thanks for reminding me to clean up some of the clutter while I'm in there."

equinox654 · Dec 9, 2014

Pretty good suggestion guys. Shame it won't come up in that context again.

equinox654 · Dec 9, 2014

Lol agree and escalate?
That's why I'm not married anymore. Id say anything to shut the ***** up.

Epimanes · Dec 9, 2014

Say something like : "why are you so worried about my past? Should I be worried about yours?

*shrugs*

Vulpine · Dec 9, 2014

equinox654 said:
Lol agree and escalate?
That's why I'm not married anymore. Id say anything to shut the ***** up.

No, that's NOT why you aren't married anymore.

It's because you married a "*****" in the first place, not because of something you said to the "*****" to shut her "*****"-ass up.

equinox654 · Dec 9, 2014

Vulpine said:
No, that's NOT why you aren't married anymore.

It's because you married a "*****" in the first place, not because of something you said to the "*****" to shut her "*****"-ass up.

Quite right.

The Duke · Dec 9, 2014

I've had this same deal pushed on me before. Not once did it hurt my chances. It was about 50/50, some where projecting their own *****-ish ways, others were simply appreciating my accomplishments and what I might offer them! ;-)

Forge ahead sir. It doesn't matter what she thinks.

Scaramouche · Dec 9, 2014

Dear Equinox,
While she thinks that you were or are attractive to many Girls,she will hang around,just be evasive they like mystery,convince her that the accusations are a beat up,and you will lose Svexual Market Value!

RangerMIke · Dec 10, 2014

This happens to me occasionally. There really is no good way to handle it. There are a lot of really BAD ways to handle it, it all depends on what you want, and when (how long you've been seeing each other) this 'discussion' comes up.

If this comes up earlier than 4-5 dates... next her. Trust me on this, she's too clingy with low self-esteem... These things seldom end well.

If it comes after you've been dating for a couple of months, then this is normal. If you want a relationship with her, then turn the tables on her... ask her about other guys she might be seeing.... if she says that she isn't then try to get her to admit she wants you exclusively. REMEMBER SHE is the one that has to bring this up. Then tease her a little about it... make some jokes about how hard it's going to be to get rid of encyclopedia of phone numbers you have. One thing I did was joked that I really couldn't burn my contacts because it might add to the global warming problem, they will say they don't like this and will even act a little ticked off, but trust me they like it because you are being a man. The point here is that you really have to lighted the mood, eventually give in (if this is what you want) without saying you are giving in... spend more time with her treat her a little more different, show her more respect and affection.

If you really just want to keep things where they are, then try to make her feel like she is the best of the bunch. You don't need to come out and admit that you have lots of options.... she already thinks you do, just make her feel more special. Be advised that when this comes up, sooner or later you will lose her since it's obvious she is interested. You might be able to keep her around for a bit longer if her interest level is high but sooner or later she will move on.

gov87 · Dec 10, 2014

RangerMIke said:
This happens to me occasionally. There really is no good way to handle it. There are a lot of really BAD ways to handle it, it all depends on what you want, and when (how long you've been seeing each other) this 'discussion' comes up.

If this comes up earlier than 4-5 dates... next her. Trust me on this, she's too clingy with low self-esteem... These things seldom end well.

If it comes after you've been dating for a couple of months, then this is normal. If you want a relationship with her, then turn the tables on her... ask her about other guys she might be seeing.... if she says that she isn't then try to get her to admit she wants you exclusively. REMEMBER SHE is the one that has to bring this up. Then tease her a little about it... make some jokes about how hard it's going to be to get rid of encyclopedia of phone numbers you have. One thing I did was joked that I really couldn't burn my contacts because it might add to the global warming problem, they will say they don't like this and will even act a little ticked off, but trust me they like it because you are being a man. The point here is that you really have to lighted the mood, eventually give in (if this is what you want) without saying you are giving in... spend more time with her treat her a little more different, show her more respect and affection.

If you really just want to keep things where they are, then try to make her feel like she is the best of the bunch. You don't need to come out and admit that you have lots of options.... she already thinks you do, just make her feel more special. Be advised that when this comes up, sooner or later you will lose her since it's obvious she is interested. You might be able to keep her around for a bit longer if her interest level is high but sooner or later she will move on.

Great advice Mike just posted here...

If this has started early in the relationship as he mentioned, get out. Trust me, it will only get worse and she will sabotage things and drag you down with her.

However, if it's just a few times and it's occurred after a while of dating, I think your chances of it being ok are much better. Just pay attention to how you feel... if it does bring you down at all, it's not worth it and there's another that will be a better fit.

equinox654 · Dec 10, 2014

Actually she is starting to stress me out.
Its pretty early and she is asking me how I feel about her and stares at me.
Starting to wonder if I'll end up like the dude on the movie misery.
Her: why don't you look at me?
Me: cause you stare at me and it makes me uncomfortable
Her: I think its because I like you more than you like me.
Me: ...

This is the second needy girl in the past month. Makes me long for the ones I'd go home with and never hear from again.

On the plus side. I can just caress her thigh and she squirms and moans.

BetterCallSaul · Dec 10, 2014

equinox654 said:
On the plus side. I can just caress her thigh and she squirms and moans.

Ah ha, this is new information then. You can get some short-term mileage out of her then. She starts in with the stupid babbling talk again, just get close to her, spread her legs and start eating her out. Her pants are on? Do it anyway, then close her legs around your head. It will definitely shut her up and her mind will refocus on other more important stuff like what you're doing down there.

equinox654 · Dec 10, 2014

BetterCallSaul said:
Ah ha, this is new information then. You can get some short-term mileage out of her then. She starts in with the stupid babbling talk again, just get close to her, spread her legs and start eating her out. Her pants are on? Do it anyway, then close her legs around your head. It will definitely shut her up and her mind will refocus on other more important stuff like what you're doing down there.

Haha I tried that last night. She was laying on me and I started thinking dirty. Before the staring could kill my boner I pulled her yoga pants down just enough in the front that I could have my **** resting on her cl1t. Started thrusting and she shut up with the bs for a few.

equinox654 · Dec 10, 2014

The funny thing is... Before I went red pill. I used to day dream about hot needy chicks. Now all I can think is "damn if I keep her I cant pickup new girls.

VladPatton · Dec 10, 2014

Shut her up and bone her hard, she's gonna love you forever! lol

New girl keeps questioning my past.

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