junior DJ still in bit distress, HELP!

Flying Dutchman said:

Dear Forum members,

1. Met girl on street, gave her my number (to not come across pushy) Not a mistake per se, but you should usually ask for her number instead of giving your own.
2. She asked me for coffee, first date done on a sunday. She came late on first date for more than 5 minutes No problem, I only consider it disrespectful if she's more than 10 minutes late (without good reason)
3. Second date on a sunday she was late for some mins; again, no problem
At the start of the date I said wow feel a bit excited for this second date. Telling her you're excited for the date is like saying: "I think you're special and I'm very lucky to be here with you!" This behavior LOWERS a woman's interest level! we walked and I put arm around her. She forcefully took arm away and replied: 'I still have a BF plus my dad died when i was 2 in a car accident'. Her having a BF while going out with you means she's a hoe which you should only use for a pump&dump, and you should never catch any feelings for her. The story about her dad is a huge red flag, it's the stuff BPD's say. Doesn't matter if it's true or not, if she's using this as a reason why you can't touch her, than you're dealing with a psycho bytch and you can rest assured that SHE IS TROUBLE.

Than I was home alone that eve and decided to message here on WA the day after that I need some time to think over this information as it touched me. It TOUCHED you? Saying this makes you seem like an emotional , sentimental guy. In other words, a pvssy. Acting like a pvssy LOWERS INTEREST LEVEL with women
Also I said i call you the week after on a tuesday after 9 You were chasing her tooooooooo much! First you message her, than you already tell her you're gonna call her and you even give the exact date and time. Ever heard about being a mystery and putting a little doubt in a woman's mind about whether you like her or not? Your behavior communicates NEEDINESS and acting needy LOWERS INTEREST LEVEL with women. Make her work for your attention, don't give her your attention for free

4. That tuesday... I called she was in a convo. So I had no problem calling back 30 mins later. She did not pick up, I was quite surprised. Why you surprised? Of course she's not gonna pick up, you've acted like a needy pvssy and LOWERED her interest level with your behavior.So I decided to call one more time Ugh... Calling her again after she doesn't pick up, communicates neediness. Her head goes "look at this chump, he's really DESPERATE to talk to me, haha!"; again she not picked up.
Than she called back and we spoke. She said i call you back next friday

5. That friday... no call came from her. I kept my frame and decided not to ***** about this. So I called her once saturday, she not immediately answered. Jesus Christ man! You called her AGAIN after she didn't keep her promise? This bytch just keeps acting disrespectful to you and you simply REWARD HER BAD BEHAVIOR by giving her more attention and chasing after her with your endless attempts to call her!

6. That Sunday I was back from friends felt a bit down and a need to see, talk to her. I called her and asked her out for a quick coffee. She said she only had time for 1 hour. The date lasted 3 hours. During the date she touched my leg with hers, looked me in eyes a lot etc.

Under normal circumstances her behavior should be interpreted as very positive (staying longer than she "could", touching you and making eye contact, paying the bill) but looking at the bigger picture, her behavior is very contradictory. Her behavior was direspectful and showing low interest up before but now she's suddenly doing the opposite. This has the smell of Cluster B/BPD all over it!!

7. Between the third and fourth date i decided to ask her where this contact was going as I wanted to know how the status with her BF was. She told me on phone that the relationship with him was stopped. You haven't read much on SoSuave two years ago, or maybe you just forgot everything you read... Guys don't ask women "where is this going?", it makes you seem needy and lowers interest level with her... BESIDES, a while back you had already told her you don't date women who have a BF so you wanted her to give you an answer before Christmas. But you didn't keep your word, you went on a date with her anyway! You have any idea how much WEAKNESS your behavior communicates to her? It's like a kid in school telling a bully he will fight back if the bully tries to take his lunch money. Then when the bully tries to take his money, the kid does NOTHING. So now the bully knows he can walk all over the boy and will simply take his money EVERYDAY coz the boy showed that he is FVCKING WEAK!!

8. I did not really enjoy the sex as on the dates before there had not been proper kissing or any signs of phsyical contact.
Your gut is telling you that this isn't right. She's been acting uninterested and disrespectful to you and you've been taking all her sh!t bevahior. Sure, you kept telling yourself you should not make a big deal out of it, but deep inside her behavior has created feelings of frustration in you. Feelings that you never let out and it just didn't feel right to have sex with her because of this. It's like a bytch kicks you in the nuts and spits in your, then 5 minutes later she wants to have sex with you, lol. Of course it doesn't feel right to you...

9. Impulsive action from me I tested negative on HIV and decided to surprise her with the quick and good result in combo i gave her 2 flowers. More submissive behavior from you, more pedestalizing from you...

10. There she told me she had been in a bad relationship with a guy for 4 years. When he was sleeping at her place she couldn't sleep.More signs that she's mentally fvcked up, you need to learn that sick bytches like this are only good for a pump&dump. After you fvck them, RUN AWAY before she damages your mental health, coz that's what these bytches do and you can only stop it by STAYING THE FVCK AWAY FROM THEM

11. she said i changed sunday with friday. Than i got more irritated and said: why can't you communicate well with me about these things we agreed on something different.
She replied with you try to talk me into guilt. Than I was disappointed and said no this is not my intention. She than cried a bit. BPD to the max... Acting totally disrespectful to you, then when you hold her accountable on her behavior, she turns it around and acts like YOU are not being nice to HER, hahaha! The crying makes it complete, this bytch measures 100 out of 100 points on the BPD scale.

She told me:
I hope you are not an egoist
I have wasted time on stupid relationships, i could have done more for myself
I had breast cancer and almost died some years ago Hahahaha! Once you learn to see the signs and meet more BPD's, you'll be able to laugh about these stories too. They all have the same stories and it's total bullshyt, they love to play the victim role and these stories are a way to do that.

First they convince you that they are so fragile and sad, everyone has hurt them all their life, everyone has been unfair to them all their life. Once you really believe that, you will think twice before acting harsh on her and you'll feel guilty when you hold her accountable for her actions. Whenever she acts like a bytch and disrespects you, you'll want to get mad at her. But hey, she is so fragile and sad, it's unfair to get angry at her, right? That's the dynamic they are trying to set up... Once they achieved that dynamic, they can treat you like sh!t all the time and when you try to stand up for yourself, they'll just tell you you are being so mean to her, the poor little girl...

She succeeded, you played right into her game. You did feel guilty at those moments, right? You didn't want to make her feel sad and that's why you gave up on your attempt to hold her accountable for the negative way she communicates in. She can get away with all that negative behavior if you play into her "sad, little girl" act. It's just an act that she has learned from when she was a little child. She has been doing it all her life to people around her and she is veeeeeeeeeery good at it (practice makes perfect)

I comforted her and apologised for my irritated behaviour earlier that day where i did not scream or whatever really kept framed when saying just some criticism.

Aha, that's what I mean. You comfort her and apologise for your irritated behavior... In fact, you had all the right in the world to get angry at her when you said "why can't you communicate well with me about these things we agreed on something different." She was the one being disrespectful, she was the one mistreating you. But when you stood up for yourself and held her accountable for her behavior, she turned it around and acted like YOU were mistreating her.

You must learn to see through this, she was manipulating you and you will meet many more women in your life who try this. Don't make the same mistake twice...

12. She picked up and said; 'you hurted me' than i lost my frame and said i thought we have decided yesterday to leave it behind and i apologised etc.
I said can i come over to you; when there i noticed she was not feeling comfortable; there she lied about the next meeting which not happened

More dirty BPD manipulating behavior from her...

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Die Hard said:

Triple post, lol.

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