Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Interesting to watch branch swinging when you're the branch

Zarky

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So a couple of years ago (2008-2009) I was really on top of things. I had money, women, a nice place to live and was having a blast.

I banged 6 new chicks in the summer of '08, not including the 2 MLTRs I already had. I dumped two 8s that summer after screwing them, just because I didn't have time for them. It was great.

Fast forward to now. I'm at a low point. I started a new business which is growing but very slowly, I'm pretty much broke, living on a couch with a pal.

One of my MLTRs recently dumped me, and the other one (which started that summer of 08) is probably going to within a month or so. The chicks I dated a couple of years ago are all either married or in long-term relationships, or only want to be friends with me. I play tennis with one (no sex) and I'm going over to watch movies with another (also no sex).

It's a sad, sad situation.

BUT it's interesting to watch these women branch-swing when I'm the branch they're letting go of. It's not the first time this has happened in my life.

The funny thing about men is that their desirability almost completely rests upon their current station in life. So unlike women whose desirability is fixed at an early age and then declines as they age, men have dramatic ups and downs corresponding to their fortunes.

The most interesting parts are 1) knowing what's about to happen and 2) watching women's preparation and justifications for the swing.

It's always a blame-game. I can't really fault them for it, how many people can understand their base primate urges? But it always comes down to something like, "You're more distant" or "You don't really love me" or something like that. And then after a couple months of that, presto, they've found a new guy and I'm done. But what's funny is that when I was rolling high, I was damn-well distant and unloving because I had a half-dozen other women on my mind and they didn't seem to care then! LOL

Now that I'm down low I'm lonely enough to hang out and watch movies with chicks I wouldn't have given the time to two years ago unless they were blowing me.

I think it's important for every man to go through this at least once (I've done it about 3 times so far in my life). It's feast or famine with women. The ones I feel pity for are the guys who start rolling high in their 20s, get married, and then go through a bust period in their 30s or 40s and watch in astonishment as their wives leave them, not understanding the dynamic. That must be horrible.

Of course unless you kill yourself when you're down and out (which is fairly common), it does come back. And the short-sighted women who left start orbiting again to see what you're up to. You get calls from old girlfriends to "see how you're doing" and whatnot.
 

speed dawg

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I have a big disconnect between guys like you, who have their own businesses, live it up when the money's good, and lose it all when times are tough. In ways I admire that - living by the seat of your pants.

I'm just the opposite, preferring to accumulate things slowly and living a more simple life. Nothing right or wrong with either, my best friend is basically your twin.

But in the end, I think you'll find that it's your confidence that is also riding high and dipping low - and that's what attracting and repelling women. You're riding that white water raft through life, I prefer the canoe. I don't have dry spells anymore......it was ONLY dry early in life, but the more I've learned, I've stayed pretty much soaked that past 5 years or so - this site has much to do with that.
 

Zarky

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speed dawg said:
But in the end, I think you'll find that it's your confidence that is also riding high and dipping low
Well that's the big question.. what comes first, the women dumping you or your confidence (and probably testosterone levels) taking a hit?

I don't think there's any way to answer that. Undoubtedly they both rise and fall together. But I think the big misstep is to think that even when your whole life sucks that you can just walk out there, think positive thoughts, and have the women flock to you again. At least in my life things don't work like that.

So I think you have to ball it all up into a whole--your situation, your money, your status, your confidence, your sexuality--and say that it's either high or low and it all rides as one.

In my current situation it's low, and there's no way for me to short-cut that and suddenly pull myself out of it through sheer force of will, any more than we could all get ourselves out of this terrible economy by sheer force of will. It takes its own time. Some day I'll be back on top (for however long) but not right now. I just have to ride it out, as many other people are doing.

However I disagree that a man can have a constant upward-rising attractiveness to women. There are highs and lows in life--for some guys the highs are higher and the lows are lower--and no guy stays on top forever.

BUT what I wanted this thread to talk about is women's behaviors during periods like these, not so much mine. To me what's fascinating is not my own ups and downs but their reactions to them.

To me, this can help explain how they can walk out the door of a man they used to love with not even a look behind. They were in love with this great, powerful guy who is now a pathetic loser (temporarily--though they can't see that.)

Imagine if you started dating a chick who looked just like your favorite porn-star, and over the next few years she started turning into a fat old hag. One day you'd look at her and think, "Wow, how could I have ever been hot for this beast?" and you'd walk away and not give a hoot. Then the next time you saw her and she looked hot and young again, you'd slide up along side and go, "Hey, so how ya been?" ;)
 

Delly2000

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The branch swing. To be honest there could be so many angles to look at it and just like any other field of study there is no universal truth. So pardon if some of the themes appear contradictory.

All of my friends including myself have been subject to the branch swing.

A theory is that women just want what they want. If your not providing it for them she gonna walk(if she stays she resents you...which is worse?). Think of the different things she wants as a pie. You may give her qualities that she desire that make up 70% of that pie. But in the next guy she sees the 30% and is blinded by if the other 70% is there.
They try to use their next branch as validation they are doing better...in some cases they might be...but this isn't always the case. Also they dont want u to be happy...no matter what they say to the contrary. Misleading creatures.

I have countless examples. My cousin married this chick..they had a kid and she left him for one of my co-workers. Now that my cousin has moved on she calling him up and complaining about the new guy and asking why things didn't work out between the two of them. Because she felt something was missing and she cheated and branch swung..duh!!! Dummy.

Some will say just keep doing what you did in the beggining.. and she will stay and not branch swing but that isn't always true. Sometimes a woman just wants to try something different.

But if you become the center of insecurity then that is draining and its poision to her...just like it would be to you. I know in these situations you may want loyalty but she gotta do what makes her happy..its her life...one to enjoy. I have appreatiotion for the hurt that is felt after the dump. But its a means to an end.

These days I am very reluctant to give my heart to a woman. Some of them are really full of it. Tell you they love you one day then the next they are gone with the next guy. I think the guys that win are the ones that dont take em seriously. I just sit up and watch and experience what these chicks are doing and it is just mind boggling.
 

Wilko

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Branch swinging eh...I'm with Speed Dawg here, I think the more interesting thing is the risk, thrills and reward offered by entrepreneurship! I have a very secure, relatively easy job in the military with a comfortable income and great perks. I'm as productive as I can be but it's still a parasitic existence within a bloated and inefficient public service. I think one day the urge to make my own way in the free market is going to get the better of me.

Branch swinging though, what can I say. You've already put your finger on it, it's that uniquely female trait of backwards rationalization. The necessity to invent for themselves a compelling story to justify the actions they want to take. They don't have a choice see, it's not their fault, they're compelled to do it by forces outside their control, IF they can structure a narrative which supports that idea.

I'm reminded of a story another poster described. He had a friend whose girl was looking to break things off with the guy. She calls, acts a bit strangely and then claims to hear another girl in the background, of course there is no other girl there. She flips out, ends it, and he becomes the bad guy in this story. An extreme example but I think the mechanism probably applies to most branch swinging.
 

f283000

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I just can't respect what you're doing OP. Why spend time watching movies with women that no longer want you? How is that supposed to get you out of your funk? How is feeding their egos supposed to be helping you get out of your low point?

The 2 hours spent at the movies you could spend sargin for new women.
 

Sue Madre

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They ALL branch swing. Even my foreign girl did it. I saw her emails from before we met, and she had some guy on the line until she had me hooked and then she dumped him.
 

Zarky

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f283000 said:
I just can't respect what you're doing OP. Why spend time watching movies with women that no longer want you? How is that supposed to get you out of your funk? How is feeding their egos supposed to be helping you get out of your low point?

The 2 hours spent at the movies you could spend sargin for new women.
I'm not trying to get out of my funk. It wouldn't work anyway. I'm embracing the low that my life is currently in. There are highs and there are lows. As I said I'm not trying to short-cut anything. I'm in a low point right now and that's how it is. It will turn around at some point, until then I'm cool with the low.

The problem I have with most people is that they don't realize that life requires highs and lows. You can't be on top of the wave all the time. Sometimes you're in the trough, and that's ok. I don't feel like I constantly have to impose my will on the world, or that I constantly have to be "alpha." Sometimes I slide into omegaville, sometimes for months or years. And sometimes I'm on top of the world, banging 3 chicks and making out with one more in a weekend (July 2008). Both are ok. I let the river of life take me where it wants me to go. Sometimes up, sometimes down. I know lots of guys don't do that, and that's ok too.

they're compelled to do it by forces outside their control, IF they can structure a narrative which supports that idea.
This is very insightful and I completely agree. Today my last MLTR tried to break things off with me but I messed up her narrative and she couldn't rationalize it. She wrote a lenghty email about how great we used to be and blah blah, and I said, "Are you breaking up with me?" and she said, "No I thought you were breaking up with me." I said, "What did I say to make you think that?" She couldn't come up with anything. Totally jammed her rationalization. So no break up today but probably soon :eek:

But it's cool, like I said, when I see myself sliding down the crest of the wave into the trough, I embrace the low too. I've experienced a lot of them in life and they don't upset me all that much.
 

sstype

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Delly2000 said:
The branch swing. To be honest there could be so many angles to look at it and just like any other field of study there is no universal truth. So pardon if some of the themes appear contradictory.

All of my friends including myself have been subject to the branch swing.

A theory is that women just want what they want. If your not providing it for them she gonna walk(if she stays she resents you...which is worse?). Think of the different things she wants as a pie. You may give her qualities that she desire that make up 70% of that pie. But in the next guy she sees the 30% and is blinded by if the other 70% is there.
They try to use their next branch as validation they are doing better...in some cases they might be...but this isn't always the case. Also they dont want u to be happy...no matter what they say to the contrary. Misleading creatures.

I have countless examples. My cousin married this chick..they had a kid and she left him for one of my co-workers. Now that my cousin has moved on she calling him up and complaining about the new guy and asking why things didn't work out between the two of them. Because she felt something was missing and she cheated and branch swung..duh!!! Dummy.

Some will say just keep doing what you did in the beggining.. and she will stay and not branch swing but that isn't always true. Sometimes a woman just wants to try something different.

But if you become the center of insecurity then that is draining and its poision to her...just like it would be to you. I know in these situations you may want loyalty but she gotta do what makes her happy..its her life...one to enjoy. I have appreatiotion for the hurt that is felt after the dump. But its a means to an end.

These days I am very reluctant to give my heart to a woman. Some of them are really full of it. Tell you they love you one day then the next they are gone with the next guy. I think the guys that win are the ones that dont take em seriously. I just sit up and watch and experience what these chicks are doing and it is just mind boggling.

x2

Good post man. Quit taking women seriously. Don't get emotional and bitter over their actions.....it is what it is.....just enjoy the ride and know that eventually all rides come to an end. If you find someone you spend the rest of your life with, great....but don't make this an expectation or you will set yourself up for dissapointment. We're not entitled to anything or anyone. Conditional love is selfish.....you're no better than the women who branch swing.

You want to find true love? Here it is...Love people because its in your nature to love, even if they care nothing for you. Unconditional love brings real happiness.
 

Lexington

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I'm not trying to get out of my funk. It wouldn't work anyway. I'm embracing the low that my life is currently in. There are highs and there are lows. As I said I'm not trying to short-cut anything. I'm in a low point right now and that's how it is. It will turn around at some point, until then I'm cool with the low.

The problem I have with most people is that they don't realize that life requires highs and lows. You can't be on top of the wave all the time. Sometimes you're in the trough, and that's ok. I don't feel like I constantly have to impose my will on the world, or that I constantly have to be "alpha." Sometimes I slide into omegaville, sometimes for months or years. And sometimes I'm on top of the world, banging 3 chicks and making out with one more in a weekend (July 2008). Both are ok. I let the river of life take me where it wants me to go. Sometimes up, sometimes down. I know lots of guys don't do that, and that's ok too.
I agree. One of my favorite sayings is "this too shall pass." I've come to truly appreciate it recently. When we're in the midst of good times we often think the party will never end. But when we've hit a low in life, we tend to think there will never be any hope.
 

typical

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I've been branch swung before and recently right after tearing my back lol, I know for a fact I had them crawl back before and this time too they will crawl back.

I love everyone that adds something to my life but I'm sorry if your willing to ditch me just because my present circumstances are dire then you are a very shallow person and are not worth my time.

I've stopped keeping grudges as life is way too short to stay upset at anyone, but sometimes a bit of bitterness remains.

This site since I was 16 has taught me to take women at face value and let them tag along for the ride and enjoy sharing the limelight with you, unfortunately I sometimes slip up and do stupid things like looking after them financially like a sugar daddy (as one poster pointed out in a recent money thread of mine).

Zarky I know exactly where your coming from man and sometimes it feels way better to just let it all out and laugh it off
 

speed dawg

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MOST guys have experienced being the branch swung FROM. Not sure why Zarky is placing so much interest on this, seeing how we all know it feels.

Seems as if Zarky is getting some differing opinions and doesn't really care too much for it. You're on an emotional roller coaster. Truthfully, I don't really know how that feels. I like to think I'm in control of my own destiny - not to just throw up my hands and make excuses for it.

Danger said:
How successful have you been with ONS's since the hard times hit? I find those to be a bit more turbulent and less correlated to how well I am doing at the moment.
I'd like to see the answer to this as well.
 

In2theGame

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Zarky said:
So a couple of years ago (2008-2009) I was really on top of things. I had money, women, a nice place to live and was having a blast.

I banged 6 new chicks in the summer of '08, not including the 2 MLTRs I already had. I dumped two 8s that summer after screwing them, just because I didn't have time for them. It was great.

Fast forward to now. I'm at a low point. I started a new business which is growing but very slowly, I'm pretty much broke, living on a couch with a pal.

One of my MLTRs recently dumped me, and the other one (which started that summer of 08) is probably going to within a month or so. The chicks I dated a couple of years ago are all either married or in long-term relationships, or only want to be friends with me. I play tennis with one (no sex) and I'm going over to watch movies with another (also no sex).

It's a sad, sad situation.

BUT it's interesting to watch these women branch-swing when I'm the branch they're letting go of. It's not the first time this has happened in my life.

The funny thing about men is that their desirability almost completely rests upon their current station in life. So unlike women whose desirability is fixed at an early age and then declines as they age, men have dramatic ups and downs corresponding to their fortunes.

The most interesting parts are 1) knowing what's about to happen and 2) watching women's preparation and justifications for the swing.

It's always a blame-game. I can't really fault them for it, how many people can understand their base primate urges? But it always comes down to something like, "You're more distant" or "You don't really love me" or something like that. And then after a couple months of that, presto, they've found a new guy and I'm done. But what's funny is that when I was rolling high, I was damn-well distant and unloving because I had a half-dozen other women on my mind and they didn't seem to care then! LOL

Now that I'm down low I'm lonely enough to hang out and watch movies with chicks I wouldn't have given the time to two years ago unless they were blowing me.

I think it's important for every man to go through this at least once (I've done it about 3 times so far in my life). It's feast or famine with women. The ones I feel pity for are the guys who start rolling high in their 20s, get married, and then go through a bust period in their 30s or 40s and watch in astonishment as their wives leave them, not understanding the dynamic. That must be horrible.

Of course unless you kill yourself when you're down and out (which is fairly common), it does come back. And the short-sighted women who left start orbiting again to see what you're up to. You get calls from old girlfriends to "see how you're doing" and whatnot.
OMG bro you sound just like me. happened to me twice in my life. Just when things are rolling wonderful, your life is like a craps table where your rolling on hot! then bam! you lose it all. Im recovering from an episode like this now.
 

In2theGame

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Guys, its a sad but real cycle. We're feeling good about our life (good Job/Business, Nice/luxury Car, Looking good, Confident etc) The girl is all over you and she treats you like a king then your REALLY feeling good. But just as it came, it slowly dwindles,.. You hit a slow bump in the road and you get laid off,... Then your financial situation isnt so hot and maybe you even lose your car, ... Your looks start to come down a bit not because you dont care but because you have alot on your mind about financial, relationship/marriage situations Then it happens... Your Loving GF or Wife starts to see you in a different light more or less in a negative way. The next dude comes along feeling and looking as you did when you first met her and giving her the "feelings" of "excitement, wanted etc" She prepares her move... then she leaves you because she doesnt know what she wants. But now you hit a low point, sadness, maybe even a little depressed but slowly you start to rise again... getting back in shape, Business/job starts picking up again, your bank accounts starts growing again... you start recovering from the hurt. The new guy shes with turns out to be the guy that you were when she left you. Now shes not as happy and she leaves him for either you the EX or the next "great guy". I mean really.... how wonderful is that? Then all woman wonder "Why are all these guys jerks!!" and "He wont settle down fully with me" or "Why cant i find a good man!"
 

Zarky

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Danger said:
How successful have you been with ONS's since the hard times hit? I find those to be a bit more turbulent and less correlated to how well I am doing at the moment.
Excellent point. I have to admit I haven't tried for any in the past few months. HOWEVER, the last time this downturn happened to me, in the recession of 2001/2002, I was so broke that I lived in my car for a year, and in that time I managed to pull two ONSs--one foreign girl I banged in the car :D and the other girl I went to her place. Neither of course knew that I was living in the car. A third girl I met for a ONS during that time turned out to be a long-term girlfriend I ended up staying with as my luck turned around.

So I think you're right, although ONSs are crap-shoots anyway. They sort of sneak up on you when you're not looking, and you just sort of have to hop on the opportunity when it arises.
 

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It all kind of points out how much of life is basically luck. Sure, you play the game and you use the best strategy you know, but the fact that your results can be boom or bust and not consistent shows that results and outcome are not entirely up to you or within your control.

I will say though for me I certainly have experienced things like girls come in waves, but I don't have huge booms and dryspells. If I put out the same effort I would get maybe short mini-dry spells and a few mini-booms, but nothing huge either way that I couldn't contribute to what I was doing or not doing. For example, I could have a long dry spell if I put no effort into meeting women. But if I put a consistent effort I might go for a few weeks empty handed and then pick up several women within a week. And even when I wasn't closing the deal I'd see that I was close.
 

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Zarky,

Here is your response to my thread about life and purpose etc etc http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1817314#post1817314

"Well, first off, there is no "way out" unless you mean dying. Because there is no inherent "purpose" in life. Look up and understand the existential phrase "Existence precedes essence." This may take you a year or so to fully comprehend.

If you want to make up some "purpose" in your life then fine, go for it. Just don't be a fascist about it. Hitler had a "purpose" too.

Me, I'm just fine without having a purpose".


So you are fine without having a purpose in life....so what are you worried about then if you are going through a lean time financially and chick wise?

You even chucked in a smartarse comment about me "taking a year to comprehend". So you still have your wit about you...shouldn't prevent you from whipping up some game with decent chicks whose first priority isn't the size of your wallet and contents thereof.....
 

Solomon

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Zarky this post resonates deeply with me and I can relate my game too in that time frame was beyond epic. It was around the time I first found out about "The Game" I was having a blast dating chicks, meeting chicks, fuccing chicks left and right. Then in August of 09 I crashed my car and lost all my confidence with it. It's been slightly up mostly down since.

So yeah I'm digging this thread. The other day I was driving piss that I let myself go physically and where I'm at in life. But I thought to myself "relish that your down cause it's making you hungry again" right now It's all about me, hence I'm in the gym, doing me if a chick is on board nice, if not oh well there is always another one
 

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http://funandsocial.blogspot.com/2008/07/boyfriend-objections.html

And remember, "women are like monkeys." When I say women are like monkeys it's in the Tarzan sense of swinging from tree to tree. They don't let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on the next. Women are the same way with boyfriends & relationships. That's essentially Rule #1 why high quality women are so rarely single for any length of time.
 

Three

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This is an excellent thread. I've had ups and downs myself, but most of it's inner turmoil as I somehow manage to keep things steady on the outside. I've been employed steadily at one decent (but, often boring) job or another for about 16 years now. I got married, raised a bunch of kids, got divorced, still raising kids, now married again, now separated again.

I'm kind of amazed that I never ended up in the gutter. I pay a 5hitload of child support each month, but get along well with my first ex and my kids are doing great. Money is damn tight, but getting better.

I guess my point is that, yes, life does go in cycles. Maybe it's a law of the universe. I don't know. But, it's not always an outward thing.
 
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