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Taking it slow?

nolesfan

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I met this girl a lil over a month ago and we really hit it off, I went back to her place that night, but she made it clear we werent banging, which was cool with me, I wasnt looking at her as just a slam piece.

The next two weeks she seemed to be all about me and we would hang out a couple times a week, and when we did hang out, she seemed to want me, but all we did was makeout. She even invited me to her parents house and told all of her friends and family about me. So my thoughts were everything was going alright, i wasnt even thinking of a relationship, just that we were both into each other.

She then stops talking to me for the next two days. I was confused so i kind of brought it up to her the next day saying, I wasnt interested in playing games, so if thats what she wanted to do, I wasnt interested.

She told me that she just felt like we were already boyfriend and girlfriend and taking things way too fast, so she pulled back, which she didnt really tell me so I was thrown for a loop. She said she doesnt like to text too much and would rather get to know someone in person. I am fine with all that

So the last couple of weeks, I have given her space, the texting has decreased, which is fine with me because I dont like texting that much, I just never met a girl that didnt, but she truly doesnt. Sometimes she initiates a text, sometimes I do, but during the whole time, I have focused a lot more on myself and its really been no big deal.

We have hung out twice since then, one a date which we had a good time on, and she said she had a good time. The next hangout was yesterday, she was tired from a wedding the night before so she didnt want to do anything and said she was being unproductive so we could just hang out at her place. So i said that works, I brought some beers over, I had a couple, she didnt have any, and we just watched tv, didnt do too much talking. At the end of the night, we had a couple of kisses goodnight.

I went home, and she texted shortly thereafter saying about how her kitchen smelled like fish (which she had for dinner that night). Why the text? I have no clue haha

1) I havent tried anything more than kissing and usually only at the end of the night, because she doesnt really give too many opportunities to, even last night , when we were watching tv, she sat on one side of the couch and I sat on the other. the whole taking things slow continues to run through my mind, so i am not trying to force anything, but I also dont want to sit there if she is expecting me to make a move, which i have no problem doing. I am just beginning to wonder if she just doesnt want a relationship or sexual relationship ever.

I just have never had this issue with a girl, and literally have never been told to take it slow before, so I have no clue what this means and if this is actually legit behavior.

She is a more mature girl, she has a career and she is a year younger than me (28) so I dont think she would play games, but once again she is a female, so who knows.

Any thoughts on what I should do? Right now, I was just going to wait to see if she gets ahold of me again wanting to hang out
 

logicallefty

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First off, assume that all women play games unless they prove to you with an abundance of evidence that they are "different". Don't assume she is "mature" just because she is 28, or 38, or even 48. Also, don't assume that any woman who is 18 is immature. Regardless of age let them prove themselves to you.

It sounds to me like her interest level was borderline from the start.

I would not contact her again and let her contact you. Even then, she may only want some validation and not even be worth your time.
 

jc_80

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Always gotta look like you're taking it one step slower than the woman wants. Especially when you're first getting to know each other. You might have stopped seeming challenging and it made her uncomfortable. Best to back off. I've found it hard to raise IL again once they've been pushed out of their comfort level. She didn't mean she considered you a boyfriend. She meant she doesn't know if she could ever consider you one so she wants to stop acting like it. It could also just be that her IL dropped for some other reason and she's just not going to tell you.
Start working on other women. It will take your mind off her a little and maybe a lot.
 

nolesfan

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Thanks for the advice guys, thats what I was basically thinking, I might have made it too easy for her in the beginning, I am definitely backing off of this one.......she told me from the beginning that she has been single for a while and was used to it.....now I am seeing why.....she went from being all about me, to completely backing off

Ill keep this updated to see if she makes any kind of move here
 

Big Nuts

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She's "saving" herself for a man of higher value that is orbiting her at the same time as your orbit.

Is she a virgin? Then you can take it slow. Once a chick has been banged, sucked cack, swallowed goo, had a thumb up her bum....there is no more "slow"...there is only....hit or "next".
 

nolesfan

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I am pretty sure she isnt a virgin..... what I dont understand is she made the first move the first night.....she grabbed me on a side street walking to my car and made out with me, maybe she met someone since, idk
 

Fireballs

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I want to take it slow = I'm not sure about you/I want to see if my other options are better.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Noles,
Low interest or Low Libido,either way get out...Her bringing you back to her place suggests she has complete control of this Game!
 

nismo-4

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That means she is putting you on the backburner because a better man has entered the picture.

AFAIC Let's take it slow is a rejection. And a LJBF rejection at that. Think about it. If she really liked you, she wouldn't pull that sh*t. You need to go ghost. Unless you just want to be a beta orbiter. It's funny how these issues come up when the woman isn't interested.

Remember, anything other than an enthusiastic yes with actions to back it up i.e. an unsure answer, a maybe, etc. is a rejection. Also, women who are interested in you won't confuse you. With that said, guess what this is?

This is just behavior a woman does when she isn't interested in you. Age means nothing. I had women past 50 pull that on me and I dropped them instantly. Legit behavior my ass. She's playing games.

Your time is better spent playing Candy Crush. I'm stuck on level 453.

Again, drop her ass. You can do better.

Case closed.
 

Museite

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nismo-4 said:
That means she is putting you on the backburner because a better man has entered the picture.

AFAIC Let's take it slow is a rejection. And a LJBF rejection at that. Think about it. If she really liked you, she wouldn't pull that sh*t. You need to go ghost. Unless you just want to be a beta orbiter. It's funny how these issues come up when the woman isn't interested.

Remember, anything other than an enthusiastic yes with actions to back it up i.e. an unsure answer, a maybe, etc. is a rejection. Also, women who are interested in you won't confuse you. With that said, guess what this is?

This is just behavior a woman does when she isn't interested in you.
Listen to Nismo and back yourself as a top guy. It's her problem if she's flaking, not yours.
 

Kailex

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I've been through this or similar in the past.

She paraded you in front of her friends/family. She felt you were boyfriend/girlfriend. You haven't even had sex.

That last sentence is the most important.

I'd dump her, and by dump her, I mean, just don't reach out to her. You need to banish her to the Last Plate Zone. And what I mean by this is that you go out and spin plates and she can be the girl that you go out with if/when she contacts you. Her IL is flatlining, so should yours.
 

nolesfan

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Yeah, she texted me today something about how many steps she walked or something....she can pursue me from here on out, and if she wants to do something she can suggest it, because I refuse to put any more effort into this situation and you guys made me realize why I shouldn't.

Is there any way to flip the script on her without looking like an *******, besides just ignoring her until she seeks me out, if she even does that? I like to have the upperhand, and I am feeling like I am starting to get it back, mainly with my just indifference and lessening lack of interest
 

Kailex

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Why do men worry whether they "look like X or don't look butthurt"?

Who cares?
You live YOUR life and let her worry about what she thinks. This is by far one of the biggest problems I see with men nowadays, they are so worried about the perception women might have about them, that they forget to live their own lives on their own terms without caring about one of the many millions... AND MILLIONS of women might possibly think by cutting contact or not pursuing.

She didn't care what you were thinking when she wanted to take it slow after showing you off like a pet... so why should YOU care NOW?

Stop this nonsense.
 
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