Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Turning 30

Kailex

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So as of this Saturday, I will finally hit the big 3-0.
I've seen past posts about being close to thirty or dating in your 30's, and well, I've had certain revelations over the past year.

I've officially been registered with this forum since January and the things I've learned and have shared with others have been plenty. I've read SoSuave for a few years but I never really digested the material until 2010.

In this year, I've lived out a ONEITIS of my own, I've gone through some major physical changes thanks to the H&F forum, and I've met quite a few people here which I've interacted with 1 on 1.

Things have changed for me, but it seems that they stay the same for a lot of the new posters or even posters of old. To those turning 30 soon or fearing that 30 is a cutoff, I have a message for you:

At age 30, I'll just be getting started. Technically, my new life began at age 29. I went horseback riding, have been to NBA games, been out to different parks, done some hiking, went on a cruise, etc, etc, etc...

It's been the most exciting year of my life and I am carrying that momentum over to my thirties. I've become a better person and a better man and surprisingly found that the more I focused on myself, the less miserable I was about the "dating game". I no longer had to sit at a virtual drawing board wondering what negs worked and what games to play. No. I was looking out for myself and in the meantime, dating plenty of women. I've met many interesting ones, many hot ones, and many crazed lunatics, but all of those experiences (good or bad) have helped me form a better idea of what works for me and what doesn't.

To all of you who think that being single at 30 is the end of the world, I can assure you, it's definitely not the end of the world. You are better off not getting married before 25... hell, even 30. At 18, I was in peak physical shape and hardly had a date. I had a 6 pack, a killer haircut and wicked fashion sense. I could hardly get a date. I was desperate and couldn't get a date.

At 29, I'm not even trying and I'm cutting women off left and right. I'm not as fit, but I'm getting there. I used to shave my head but now have it styled and longer. My fashion sense is that of a man now and not a teenager wearing baggy pants and G-Unit shirts. I work on myself and anything else comes after. I'm done with the shaming tactics and social conventions that Rollo has posted about time and time again. Now that I've employed the "Agree and Amplify" tactics taught to me by Warrior and JoPhil, I've kept all naggers of the female-kind at bay when they ask me why I am not married or have no kids.

I'm not married, by accident and now by design.
The same with kids.

I live for myself and if that is selfish, so be it. I am the most selfish person in the world, but guess what, I am happy.

I have a job, a great apartment, live in a kickass neighborhood, have plenty of friends, have lost weight ridiculously, amongst other things...

Notice how I excluded mention about women there? It's because they come last. And that's how I am keeping it.

Will I eventually find someone for me? Maybe, but for now, I am dating many someone's. I am NOT alone. Whether I die up old and shriveled by myself... we'll see. But I'll only be 30 and not 75.

What else have I learned?

- I get more attention at age 30 than I did at 18, because of my maturation process and because I understand the game now. I have options. When I was 18, I was indoctrinated to find THE ONE. At age 30, I know this is rubbish. All of a sudden, I'm high value simply because I'm NOT LOOKING. I enjoy the company of many women.

- A wise man once said to me: Monogamy is not the option, but a last resort. I thank him for that (although I am paraphrasing), but the phrase alone switched all of my own mental conventions.

- Red Flag = Ditch. Two Strikes, SOMETIMES. Had someone ***** at me after the second date because I didn't call in the appropriate timing? Ditched. Someone who came 20 minutes late without even considering calling me to tell me they were late. Ditched. Someone who started "playing" with my phone. Ditched. I don't care anymore. The first few weeks of a relationship are supposed to be easy. I am NOT putting up with any inconsiderate behavior. Sure, if she calls me to tell me she's late... that's fine, it HAPPENS. But setting a standard from the beginning of tardiness is NOT going to cut it with me. There are many more women out there. The options are bountiful.

- Enjoy life. That's right, something so simple... something overlooked by many posters. So much stock is put into this whole thing. I'd be dumb to say: There's no point to all of this. But there is... there's enjoyment from going out and meeting different women and bedding them. It's an addendum to an already busy and enjoyable life. And since I don't tolerate with any childish and unwanted behavior, it stresses me none. Life is to be enjoyed. And we do not enjoy life when women are miring our lives with all the added crap that the Red Flaggers possess. There's no need to keep those women in our lives. Everything about you is #1. They are #2 and I would expect for women to think the same thing. No one should ever be focused on LTR's until they feel they have savored so much of this world that they've found someone suitable for one. Life is too short to NOT be enjoyed while you can.



I missed out on a lot of my 20's by sticking around in an LTR that I knew was going nowhere. But because I was fed the blueprint of having to marry in my 20s... I thought that my LTR was as good as it was going to get. LIES, all LIES. My life is as good as it gets NOW that I am turning 30 and am single and enjoying it.

But guess what...

It's going to get EVEN BETTER.

I encourage all men, to seek our their happiness in the form of the things they love to do, the things that keep them busy and going... and not in the form of the other gender. You could never possibly be happy through being with a woman when you can't be happy on your own.

I'm excited for a new decade of my life. I've already gotten the momentum from age 29 going into age 30. This WILL be my best decade yet.
 

amoka

Master Don Juan
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Kailex said:
So as of this Saturday, I will finally hit the big 3-0.
I've seen past posts about being close to thirty or dating in your 30's, and well, I've had certain revelations over the past year.

I've officially been registered with this forum since January and the things I've learned and have shared with others have been plenty. I've read SoSuave for a few years but I never really digested the material until 2010.

In this year, I've lived out a ONEITIS of my own, I've gone through some major physical changes thanks to the H&F forum, and I've met quite a few people here which I've interacted with 1 on 1.

Things have changed for me, but it seems that they stay the same for a lot of the new posters or even posters of old. To those turning 30 soon or fearing that 30 is a cutoff, I have a message for you:

At age 30, I'll just be getting started. Technically, my new life began at age 29. I went horseback riding, have been to NBA games, been out to different parks, done some hiking, went on a cruise, etc, etc, etc...

It's been the most exciting year of my life and I am carrying that momentum over to my thirties. I've become a better person and a better man and surprisingly found that the more I focused on myself, the less miserable I was about the "dating game". I no longer had to sit at a virtual drawing board wondering what negs worked and what games to play. No. I was looking out for myself and in the meantime, dating plenty of women. I've met many interesting ones, many hot ones, and many crazed lunatics, but all of those experiences (good or bad) have helped me form a better idea of what works for me and what doesn't.

To all of you who think that being single at 30 is the end of the world, I can assure you, it's definitely not the end of the world. You are better off not getting married before 25... hell, even 30. At 18, I was in peak physical shape and hardly had a date. I had a 6 pack, a killer haircut and wicked fashion sense. I could hardly get a date. I was desperate and couldn't get a date.

At 29, I'm not even trying and I'm cutting women off left and right. I'm not as fit, but I'm getting there. I used to shave my head but now have it styled and longer. My fashion sense is that of a man now and not a teenager wearing baggy pants and G-Unit shirts. I work on myself and anything else comes after. I'm done with the shaming tactics and social conventions that Rollo has posted about time and time again. Now that I've employed the "Agree and Amplify" tactics taught to me by Warrior and JoPhil, I've kept all naggers of the female-kind at bay when they ask me why I am not married or have no kids.

I'm not married, by accident and now by design.
The same with kids.

I live for myself and if that is selfish, so be it. I am the most selfish person in the world, but guess what, I am happy.

I have a job, a great apartment, live in a kickass neighborhood, have plenty of friends, have lost weight ridiculously, amongst other things...

Notice how I excluded mention about women there? It's because they come last. And that's how I am keeping it.

Will I eventually find someone for me? Maybe, but for now, I am dating many someone's. I am NOT alone. Whether I die up old and shriveled by myself... we'll see. But I'll only be 30 and not 75.

What else have I learned?

- I get more attention at age 30 than I did at 18, because of my maturation process and because I understand the game now. I have options. When I was 18, I was indoctrinated to find THE ONE. At age 30, I know this is rubbish. All of a sudden, I'm high value simply because I'm NOT LOOKING. I enjoy the company of many women.

- A wise man once said to me: Monogamy is not the option, but a last resort. I thank him for that (although I am paraphrasing), but the phrase alone switched all of my own mental conventions.

- Red Flag = Ditch. Two Strikes, SOMETIMES. Had someone ***** at me after the second date because I didn't call in the appropriate timing? Ditched. Someone who came 20 minutes late without even considering calling me to tell me they were late. Ditched. Someone who started "playing" with my phone. Ditched. I don't care anymore. The first few weeks of a relationship are supposed to be easy. I am NOT putting up with any inconsiderate behavior. Sure, if she calls me to tell me she's late... that's fine, it HAPPENS. But setting a standard from the beginning of tardiness is NOT going to cut it with me. There are many more women out there. The options are bountiful.

- Enjoy life. That's right, something so simple... something overlooked by many posters. So much stock is put into this whole thing. I'd be dumb to say: There's no point to all of this. But there is... there's enjoyment from going out and meeting different women and bedding them. It's an addendum to an already busy and enjoyable life. And since I don't tolerate with any childish and unwanted behavior, it stresses me none. Life is to be enjoyed. And we do not enjoy life when women are miring our lives with all the added crap that the Red Flaggers possess. There's no need to keep those women in our lives. Everything about you is #1. They are #2 and I would expect for women to think the same thing. No one should ever be focused on LTR's until they feel they have savored so much of this world that they've found someone suitable for one. Life is too short to NOT be enjoyed while you can.



I missed out on a lot of my 20's by sticking around in an LTR that I knew was going nowhere. But because I was fed the blueprint of having to marry in my 20s... I thought that my LTR was as good as it was going to get. LIES, all LIES. My life is as good as it gets NOW that I am turning 30 and am single and enjoying it.

But guess what...

It's going to get EVEN BETTER.

I encourage all men, to seek our their happiness in the form of the things they love to do, the things that keep them busy and going... and not in the form of the other gender. You could never possibly be happy through being with a woman when you can't be happy on your own.

I'm excited for a new decade of my life. I've already gotten the momentum from age 29 going into age 30. This WILL be my best decade yet.
You could not have said this any BETTER. I will be turning 30 in few days too... first round on me if we ever meet to celebrate birthday together.
 

jophil28

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Gentlemen, welcome to the world of the 30 plus male -the big fun zone .

You both have a huge advantage going in - you have access to the MM forum and it's collective wisdom.
 

DangNammit

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Happy Birthday... I'm turning 36 in a month and I'm in the best physical shape I've been in all my life. Hair-loss blows, but tough 5hit... Have had more sex in my 30's than my teens and 20's combined... yep done it twice now ;)

You're wisdom exceeds your age Kailex...
 

K-man

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Great post Kailex!

I'll be 40 in a few days and all that you wrote applies to me also.
I'm out of a miserable LTR, have had my rebound gal and now I'm building a life around ME!
 

ken chang

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Happy Birthday, man. Happy birthday to Amoka, too. Good post. Wish I knew about SoSuave, the DJ bible, and MM when I turned 30. Could've saved me from a lot of unnecessary pain. Oh, well. Better late than never.
 

High Voltage

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Happy birthday Kailex :)

I'll be turning 30 in December.

I think that any guy getting married in their 20s is a huge mistake. Definately what I would call an uninformed decision.

When I think about it I don't feel any pressure to be with a girl. For me, the only down side is that in my mind I forsee it getting harder to pick up girls in my desired age range (20-25). Seriously, any girl 25+ disgusts me; you get to see the results of their binge drinking, drugs, and partying written all over their fat and haggard bodies.

As you say, girls are not the reason for life, only a minor addition to it. That addition isn't always positive.
 

5string

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Kailex....happy bday brother, and to amoka/others as well. It's all just a journey basically. You figured it out sooner than most. I'm over 50 now and just not done having fun yet. Heck, I'm having our yearly party at the house tomorrow night. Live band and everything! We are expecting just over 100 people. Point that I would like to make is to cultivate your relationships, now and forever. Friends mean everything. I am blessed in that regard. I hope you will be blessed as well.

Age means nothing unless you allow it to have meaning.
 

samspade

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Happy Birthday Kailex. 30s are a great time. I must say you have wisdom beyond your years, your posts and advice here are among the best.
 

1 Bad Dude

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Happy Bday. Great post and welcome to the club.
 

wait_out

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Yeah! My life is really stressful with work but I'm like 1000% more together than when I was 20.

I hope we see more of these positivity-filled posts. And happy birthday too.
 

Romjuan

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Happy birthday Kailex. I turned 30 this last July and it has been great so far. Im still working on becoming the best man I can be, but i see the light at the end of the tunnel. Heres to a celebration for the 30's.
 

Drewskie

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Hey Solo, you left for a while, good to see you back. And happy belated kailex.
 

Atom Smasher

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Great philosophy, Kailex, and well-articulated.

Another GREAT thing about aging is that women in their 30s and beyond have started learning a little bit about humility. They are aware of the ticking clock, their decreasing market value, and their arrogance is just starting (only just) to dissipate.
 

Zarky

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I agree with the poster who said that he's had more sex in his 30s than in his teens and 20s combined. It's true.
 

Romjuan

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Just wanted to bump Kailex's thread here. This positive outlook doesnt imply for just turning 30, but I believe we all should this mindset for this New Year.
 

runner83

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Romjuan said:
Just wanted to bump Kailex's thread here. This positive outlook doesnt imply for just turning 30, but I believe we all should this mindset for this New Year.
I agree.

I missed the original post when it came out, but found it very motivational, even if I'm not (quite) at that stage yet myself.

Awesome read.
 

Mike32ct

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I also agree about having more sex in my 30s than teens and 20s. It takes a certain amount of experience and wisdom to be able to spot opportunities and confidence and skill to properly act upon them.

So while a younger guy may technically get more opportunities with females (generally of his age group), he might not have the confidence or experience to capitalize on those opportunities.

For example and not to get off track, I was at a deli today getting lunch. There is a 20something guy working behind the counter. He's a handsome guy (no homo). Two hot 20something girls come in and I saw right away that they were flirting with him. They were teasing him and (jokingly) asking if he had any openings for another counter person. It went right over his head. He was all serious and genuinely thought that they were just job hunting. As an older guy, I'm thinking to myself, "Dude. They don't want a job. Just get a number and b&ng one of them lol."
 
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