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A strange dilemma

Dirtythirty

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Some back information first
Married 13 years love my wife, but we are both VERY type A personalities, so neither wants to submit which causes untold amounts of friction.

Been maintaining girlfriends for about 10 years out of the 13, never let them to close mostly just need a hole or some strange.

The only time she ever found out is when I told her about one because what we were doing just wasn't working and she needed to know I am not above leaving and she needs to show some respect or get the **** out.

Currently am seeing 2 girls on the side. One knows and is super turned on by it, and the other is a nieve college girl can't even drink yet that is going to have some regrets sooner rather then later.

Its far to time consuming for me to add another regular screw as it is I don't go a day without sex.

The dilemma is simple I met someone.
She is 20 and possibly the happiest person I have ever met, being around her even for an hour will make me smile all day, and I'm not alone. Everyone I see that talks to her is the same. The bad part is she knows where I live, my number etc, because she works at a store I frequent. Basically she is a lot closer to me then any other girl EVER, hell the 19 year old I mentioned earlier doesn't even know my real name.

Further
Recently I turned down a 3 way, not because I was scarred(have had a few usually better in porn, unless the girls make you want to cradle in the bathtub crying trying to get clean type of dirty girl, then it is definitely side reel material) just didn't want to, then about 2 days later I had the perfect opportunity to take a waitress to a hotel and bang her till her jaw went loose and I could mount her like a ventriloquist doll and I just said well I hope your boyfriend goes willy first into a blender and left.
Which leads me to believe either I'm back in high school and retarded around women or subconsciously I am committing to her.

What makes it worse is I can not seem to even get the nuts together to get this girls number, because she is so happy I don't want to change that.

God typing this out makes me think I need to take a step back, take a cold shower and go pick a fight after a few beers seriously I feel like a *****. Really would like a third party opinion as my friends have basically told me that I should go vegan and play an acoustic guitar.

By the way my dad said I am finally growing up and I should consider pursuing her and ending my marriage, because he thinks it might be real for me, so yeah he just wants grandchildren.

Obviously I'm knee deep in my own head so I will stop now
 

speed dawg

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If you don't have kids, do whatever the f*ck you want. If you don't love your wife, divorce her so she can get on with her life too. You sound like a pretty selfish bastard in general.
 

Epimanes

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Firstly. If you think your wife doesn't know.. You are mistaken. She my not have hard evidence but she has a gut feeling. You are inviting disaster into your life. I strongly suggest you tell your wife what you have done and divorce her. If you want to save your marriage take a visit at www.marriagebuilders.com and visit their forum. You will get slapped around a bit but if you want your marriage to be happy. It can be done. At the very least you might come out of it a better person even if you and your wife divorce.

You are a serial cheater.. With no regard for anyone but yourself.

Epi
 

Epimanes

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Dirtythirty said:
Married 13 years love my wife, but
I beg to differ... Someone who loves his wife protects her, cherishes her, is kind to her..

I hope you don't have kids man... Your setting a poor example.

Epi
 

Dirtythirty

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Honestly with as little information I gave about my wife and I, I am a little shocked how quick people jumped to conclusions.

First we cant have kids, not as in unlikely, not as in invitro, but the nearest thing would be to adopt, and had nothing prior. After some surgeries, not voluntary but essential mind you and years of counseling WE decided against children.

I protect my wife, plain and simple, charged once for assault cause some dude grabbed her ass, but in more of an emotional sense when we are together nothing else matters, nothing else exists everyone is simply an auxiliary character in our story. After 13 years I still date my wife, I buy her nice things just because; this didn't happen because of guilt, it happened because I never stopped doing it after we got married. How many people here rub their wifes back EVERY night, I do. I work out not just for me but so she wont be with a fatty. For ****s sake I threw a wrench into our marriage because I saw her for only a couple of hours a week for over 2 years! Nothing from the priests helped nothing from pastors counselors family friends **** I even hunted down her ex.

As far as the others, I at least make it clear our relationship is not exclusive before anything happends do they get hurt, some yes, its rejection.

As far as me being serial cheater, I cant disagree but I believe it would be more accurate to be called sex addiction. I know that if hell exists I have a foot in the door.

So please continue to judge me to make yourselves feel better. The bottom line is I had a legitimate emotional issue, and so you know I fleshed out the issue a bit and I think I have actual feelings for this other girl, knowing this means I can distance myself from the issue. Why was this hard for me to realize? Because the only other person I have ever cared for is my wife in my entire life.

Get off your soap boxes and stop judging people, your far worse than any priest I've met in confession.
 
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Epimanes

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Listen.. I have been married for 15 years and with her for 20. I have 2 kids. We have had ups and downs but I would not and could not ever cheat on my wife. I wouldn't want to risk her health nor would I want to destroy my childrens hope to have an intact family over blowing my load into some cvm bucket slut chick for a cheap thrill.

Does your wife know you sleep around? Are you cool if she does it too?

You like this new girl? Of course you do. But I promise you this. Whatever the issues are in your marriage that are causing you to want to destroy it currently will just happen again in the next. You will never find happiness or inner peace that way.

Do as you please, I don't care really... You posted your story for others to comment on and didn't expect to be judged somehow? What do you want? A fricken medal? Or how about a trophy? Do you think confession to a priest means anything? What's the point? So you can go out and do it again after you relieve your guilt? Does the other woman know your married? Or are you just here seeking validation that what your doing to your wife and the other woman are ok? Likely this other woman is just using you to pay for shyt and once the honeymoon phase dies off she's gunna leave you too once she sees who you really are. Think about that..

Unless you want some help with your marriage I am done on this thread. Maybe someone else here agrees that what your doing is ok and will be your cheer leader.

Epi
 

Dirtythirty

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I truly hope you are happy, and if any offense was taken well at the time I may have ment it, but hell nobody likes to check a post and see what was written even if it is the truth...especially if it is the truth. I wasn't looking for a cheerleader I was trying to figure out what was going through my head. I was acting out of character.

As far as my wife, she knows I have in the past because I told her and is much smarter then myself so I have no doubts that she knows what is going on. Some of the girls know others don't, it depends, but all know that it is not exclusive. This is why I hate forums, someone can't see another person so there are complications the lack of interaction doesn't always work. Not to mention very few people talk to me like that in person usually because I like to smile and be merry.

To be frank because this girl I met fired me up like it did I've been thinking about throwing in the towel and just being with my wife. In my life I have had a lot of bad things happen and its not often I care or feel, its normally this indifference and emotional void, very hard to describe but if you have had it you know.

Either way I wish you and everyone else here well even if you were a wanker. Likely my last or one of my last posts, so seriously lighten up.
 

Epimanes

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Dude. You have to understnad from my perspecitive. I'm in favor of mongomy.

But if you want to know what's going on in your head? Affairs are like addictions. It feeds the seratonin and dopamine receptors in your brain. Of course you don't wana stop. Especially if your not getting caught. Take away that woman and its like taking a crack pipe away from a crack addict.

Glad your dropping her. You can have a loving and happy marriage man. If I can do it. Anybody can. I don't mean to be so hard on you however everyone around me in my life has comitted adultrey including both my parents. I got to have a shyt childhood because my parents thought swinging was fun( the swinging turned into adultery because they both kept doing it behind eachothers back)Turns out it does nothing but home wreck and skew your thought process and take away any love that might have been there. This is just my view and my morals speaking.

Epi

Edit: and if you think I have never been tempted to cheat your kidding yourself. Keeping faithful to my wife has at times been a tough decision. I'm glad I did tho. I wouldn't want to repeat history for my own kids.
 

LiveFreeX

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Well if you can't have kids, why get married? Doesn't make sense to commit to a girl like that... and surprise surprise, you aren't committed. Friends with benefits is basically what you are.
 

TheCWord

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LiveFreeX said:
Well if you can't have kids, why get married? Doesn't make sense to commit to a girl like that... and surprise surprise, you aren't committed. Friends with benefits is basically what you are.
I think this guy not being able to have kids is the takeaway feel good message of this thread.
 
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