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Fiancee calls off marriage because ring is man-made, not natural, diamond

MatureDJ

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http://blogs.news.com.au/bossy/inde...e_dumped_me_because_i_gave_her_a_fake_diamond

The ring I gave as the engagement ring was a 3ct Princess cut diamond set in a 14k white gold ring ...

One day we were over the jewellers home and she asked if she could have a look at my fiances ring using her tools ...

The jeweller quietly took my missus aside and told her that it wasn’t a real diamond and that I’ve been lying to her. Suddenly I’m enemy number one in the house and am very quickly asked to leave while my fiance started off screaming at me for deceiving her ... it might not be a DeBeer’s diamond, but it’s absolutely a real diamond. Instead of throwing away money towards a corrupt corporation and African suffering, I purchased a man made diamond.

The company that mines diamonds themselves can’t tell them apart? Yet somehow, I am a monster that doesn’t love her and got her a fake diamond.

Engagement is off, called off by her a few days after this event and considering how she reacted boy am I glad. I’m pretty cut up about it all naturally but I feel like I’ve dodged a bullet. I guess the question that I really have here is should I have specifically made a point of telling her it was a man made diamond? Frankly, to me, if it’s a diamond it’s a diamond and letting her know never even entered my sub conciousness. If she had asked where it came from I would have told her… I guess it’s just something I’m really puzzled about and want to know what I should do next time I intend to propose (if such a day ever comes again).
My opinion: This ring was the best investment he could have ever made. :up:
 

Robert28

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Hope he got his ring back at least. I'll never understand why people today want to spend thousands on rings, a wedding, dresses, etc and then start out their marriage living paycheck to paycheck when they could have used that money they spent on their wedding to put down a nice down payment on a house or start a nice savings account.
 

Outlaw_

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Robert28 said:
Hope he got his ring back at least. I'll never understand why people today want to spend thousands on rings, a wedding, dresses, etc and then start out their marriage living paycheck to paycheck when they could have used that money they spent on their wedding to put down a nice down payment on a house or start a nice savings account.
I second this. If the woman I pop the question to doesn't get that, then it's better that I know earlier than later. The guy in the article is really lucky she reacted like that. It's just a ring...it's a symbol of love...not a symbol of status. If she wants status, then she's not in love with the man, she is in love with "What's In It For Me".
 

zekko

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The company that mines diamonds themselves can’t tell them apart? Yet somehow, I am a monster that doesn’t love her and got her a fake diamond.
Question: If the company that mines diamonds themselves can't tell them apart, then how did the jeweler tell them apart? I've also heard that the man made diamonds were identical, so are they or aren't they? I'm not really that interested in jewelry, but I'm just curious.
 

Moonlounger

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Classic example of a woman elevating the symbol of love and matrimonial union above the actual union itself! Good thing he found out earlier than latter - the wedding and ring are more important to her than the relationship :crazy:

When synthetic gemstones first became widely available on the market some years ago, the way you could tell is the synthetic was too perfect, while the natural ones had inclusions, impurities, etc. Apparently, there's a company that produces synthetic gemstones with inclusions and impurities to perfectly replicate the natural gems nowadays. The result: heavy lobbying by De Beers and others to have laws and regulations created which regulate how synthetic gems, diamonds in particular, are marketed and sold to customers.

What's hilarious is you're getting a superior product for less money with synthetic diamonds. They have better clarity, color, and arguably carat size for the same cut due to lack of inclusions than a "natural" diamond. Yet people have been so conditioned by marketing and social norms to generally reject synthetic diamonds as inferior. "He doesn't really love me because he got a synthetic diamond" All because he didn't spend a god awful amount of money on an inferior natural diamond which has a resale value of 15 - 40% original price :crackup:


If you go back further, De Beers is one of the few examples in business history where a company obtained monopoly control of a resource, diamonds in this case, and proceeded to create a market for said diamonds out of thin air. Historically, only the wife would wear a wedding ring, and it typically was a simple gold band that sometimes would have a birthstone in it, rarely a diamond. During WWII it became popular for US troops to wear gold wedding rings to remind them of the wife back home. Through a brilliant marketing campaign, De Beers slowly convinced the American public that diamonds needed to be in the wedding ring as a symbol of the eternal love of marriage, i.e. diamonds are forever. Also, diamonds should never be sold by couples and treated as heirlooms (conveniently keeping them off the market so De Beers could maintain high pricing). In reality, diamonds are extremely common, and there's no way to tell what the true price would be without De Beers, but it would definitely be lower.


I think this whole 3 months salary marketing gimmick for a wedding ring is a crock of ****. I'm considering not wearing a wedding ring if I ever get married (or maybe only for special public events) as I don't wear any jewelry anyways - never liked the feel.

And then there's Moissanite - chemically silicon carbide, which was discovered in a meteorite in the late 1800's and made synthetically for industrial processes and gemstones. Arguably more rare than diamonds as they occur less naturally on Earth. In my opinion, Moissanite has better optical clarity than diamonds, though people disagree as Moissanite tends to act as a prism, while diamonds don't break up white light the same way. Almost as hard as diamonds as well, basically indistinguishable from diamonds for a casual observer - and a fraction of the price of course :up:

Long story short:

Natural diamonds are way overpriced for wedding rings IMO when synthetic diamonds offer a better product for less money. I'll do my best to subtly convince any potential future Mrs. Moonlounger to want either a synthetic diamond or Moissanite based on the above.
 

Bible_Belt

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zekko said:
Question: If the company that mines diamonds themselves can't tell them apart, then how did the jeweler tell them apart? I've also heard that the man made diamonds were identical, so are they or aren't they? I'm not really that interested in jewelry, but I'm just curious.
I was wondering the same thing. I read that DeBeers has labelled all their diamonds with a microscopic engraving. That's probably the answer.

The synthetic stones are not exactly cheap. When I looked at them, they started at about $800-1000. What makes me suspicious about them is that it seemed like no matter how big of a diamond you want, the price never gets above $2,000.

Buying a synthetic diamond secondhand would be a double-whammy of frugality. You could probably get anything for a few hundred bucks.
 

samspade

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Technically synthetic diamonds should cause the price of diamonds to plummet, unless one company currently controls the patent for the method. In any case the emotional component obviously keeps the prices high - "a diamond is forever" and is supposed to be some kind of symbol of commitment. If it weren't so intertwined with locking down pu$$y, a diamond would probably be worth $5.
 

mrRuckus

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samspade said:
Technically synthetic diamonds should cause the price of diamonds to plummet, unless one company currently controls the patent for the method. In any case the emotional component obviously keeps the prices high - "a diamond is forever" and is supposed to be some kind of symbol of commitment. If it weren't so intertwined with locking down pu$$y, a diamond would probably be worth $5.

LOL, it's a sham just like marriage. It's the perfect gem for marriage. A diamond is really the symbol for "the gem" you marry that rapidly deteriorates in value the minute you marry/purchase it, while everyone just says it's super valuable and the best.
 

Zarky

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Here's an idea:

Don't get married. You'll never even have to think about wedding rings, marketing, deBeers, blood diamonds, ungrateful wives, or any of that.

Problem solved!

It's like never having kids. One dude I work with who has kids is constantly b*tching about the school system, child support, visitation, dangerous toys, piano lessons, slutty pop singers, cell phones for the kiddies, etc. etc. etc.

All of those things don't even show up on my radar. I can go the rest of my life and never see another Disney film. I look forward to the day when I haven't heard any song in the Top 40 :D
 

Outlaw_

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Zarky said:
Here's an idea:

Don't get married. You'll never even have to think about wedding rings, marketing, deBeers, blood diamonds, ungrateful wives, or any of that.

Problem solved!

It's like never having kids. One dude I work with who has kids is constantly b*tching about the school system, child support, visitation, dangerous toys, piano lessons, slutty pop singers, cell phones for the kiddies, etc. etc. etc.

All of those things don't even show up on my radar. I can go the rest of my life and never see another Disney film. I look forward to the day when I haven't heard any song in the Top 40 :D
And then, Zarky dies old & alone.
 

Zarky

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Outlaw_ said:
And then, Zarky dies old & alone.
Tired argument is tired.

You can get married and still die old and alone. Or not get married and have good friends and lovers around you when you die.

:yes:
 

Scormus

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the alternative

Outlaw_ said:
And then, Zarky dies old & alone.
Isn't that better than dying with an old woman living in his house?
 

Greasy Pig

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I've posed this question to many women: Instead of a diamond ring, what if your fiancé trekked through perilous jungle and climbed a dangerous mountain to collect a branch from a tree there that grew nowhere else in the world? Then he paid a master craftsman to fashion a spectacular and truly unique ring? Would you be happy with that or would you pyssed off it wasn't a diamond?
They have ALL said words to the effect: "Fvck that! If there was no diamond, there would be no wedding!"
So yes, even though the wooden ring is a unique symbol of the man's devotion, courage and thoughtfulness, women don't give a fvck about the symbolism unless it sparkles.
Fvcking bullsht.
 

Stagger Lee

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zekko said:
Question: If the company that mines diamonds themselves can't tell them apart, then how did the jeweler tell them apart? I've also heard that the man made diamonds were identical, so are they or aren't they? I'm not really that interested in jewelry, but I'm just curious.
I don't much about jewelry either, but I've heard the way to indentify a man-made diamond is it's too perfect to be a natural diamond, perfect color and flawless. It's actually better than a real one except not formed naturally. But I don't think natural diamonds are the most rare of gems anyway.

Anyway the jewelry friend seems like a real jealous b!tch for wanting to examine the ring and tell her it was a man-made diamond.
 

Bible_Belt

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I wonder if women get mad when you buy a used ring, even if it's real? I'm seeing $6,000 Kay Jeweler's rings on craigslist for $1,500.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Greasy Pig said:
So yes, even though the wooden ring is a unique symbol of the man's devotion, courage and thoughtfulness, women don't give a fvck about the symbolism unless it sparkles.
What they want is HUGE social proof and status indicating somebody values them enough to cause themselves financial hardship.

They want their friends, enemies and everybody else to look at the ring, which has widely accepted market value (free marked or rigged), and associate that value with her value as a human.

For the truly vain, guys seek the hottest trophy wives, while girls seek the most bling giving guys.

They don't see their partners as humans, rather they see them as validation for their own ego.

I would recommend screening for this trait BEFORE even thinking about any kind of relationship talk. No need to wait till the last minute to "dodge a bullet."
 

zekko

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Bible Belt said:
I wonder if women get mad when you buy a used ring, even if it's real? I'm seeing $6,000 Kay Jeweler's rings on craigslist for $1,500.
Haven't I heard that a ring loses half its value once you take it home? Really, why should a woman care if you get it used? The stone itself has been laying around for ages, what difference does it make if it happened to have been worn for a few years? Whatever scuffs or signs of wear it might have should be able to be polished up, I would think.

taiyuu_otoko said:
What they want is HUGE social proof and status indicating somebody values them enough to cause themselves financial hardship.
Or they want social proof that the guy they are marrying is a winner and can afford a big rock. A literal "alpha" if you will. Either way, they still get their validation - either by marrying a top guy, or by being valued enough for a guy to put himself in hoc.

It's all bullsh!t to enrich the jeweler's industry. And to provide one more thing a woman can sell off to get more cash in the event of a divorce. This is one reason why I won't be marrying again.
 

mangotot

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Looks like he had a fortunate escape. He should thank his lucky stars that she dropped him and save heaps of trouble further down the line
 
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