Is this girl crazy and how to handle it?

This is a lot longer than I intended.

I've been dating one of my plates, Sara for about 9 months. She's a tall hot blond, 8 hb. We haven't seen each other for about a month and a half but have spoken. The problems all started when we didn't talk for 3 weeks because of my depression which she suffers from too. We spoke and I told her about my depression. She understood and we moved on. Then, she left for CA for a week. We spoke while she was in CA and she said, "don't freak out but I think when I get back we should spend a lot more time together. Almost live together." I said we should spend more time together, even though this did freak me out a little. She then tells me the school pushed back the class she went there to take by 2 weeks. So now she's there for 3 weeks. I find that really strange. I've never heard of a class being rescheduled so soon to it starting. Two weeks ago she came back home but hasn't made much attempt to contact me.

Let me back up and give some history about her. I know she's had skin cancer and was involved in a bad car accident that resulted in her loosing the cartilage in her left knee. She's on meds for her knee pain, depression, ADD and OCD. Also, she was supposedly raped when she was 17. The cops said it was a he said she said deal and nothing became of it. A few years later she was physically abused by an ex. She also had an unplanned child with this abusive ex. She gave up the child for adoption. She doesn't get along with her dad at all. He's allegedly kicked her out of the house twice. Once after her rape the second was after she became pregnant. So, in addition to all of this she has daddy issues. I can't tell you how many times we've been at my house and she's cried about something. I've met her parents many times. They love me. I think it's either she's one of the most unlucky people I've ever met or she's full of it. BTW we haven't had sex yet although we've fooled around a lot. I chalked this up because she was allegedly raped. I've been in this situation before but it's never taken 9 months to have sex before.

So back on track. We clicked and really like each other even though I was and am dating other women. Sara was crazy about me, calling and texted me all of the time, always doing the initiating and always wanting to get together. She even asked me to take down my dating profile. Things were really good for 7 months. Things changed when I was MIA for a few weeks because of my depression. It was during this time she became distant. We decided to meet and speak in person about it and things appeared to be smoothed over. Although a few days after our talk she told me she expected to break up with me. I wasn't doing anything differently, we hadn't had so much as a disagreement. I wasn't being weak, supplicating or overly accommodating. I was maintaining my frame and doing really well applying what I've learned from our forum. We hung out after this but then she went to CA. So because I liked her I used some of my frequent flier miles to buy her a round trip ticket to CA. It didn't cost me anything. It really wasn't a big deal to me. It was the first time I ever went out of my way for her.

While she was out in CA my birthday came and went. 4 days later I only received a happy birthday text. That pissed me off after I bought her an expensive birthday cake and celebrated her birthday. I jokingly asked her about forgetting my birthday. She said she had been calling and texting me. I never received any texts or vm from her. She has no money, she doesn't have a job and lives in her parent's basement. She has a lot of potential though.

A few days ago after not hearing from her for a while I wrote her and said we should talk. I wrote her basically saying I thought things were going fine and that I liked that were are there for each other when we needed it. Then I said when I didn't hear from her on my birthday that she wasn't behaving the way I'd thought she was going to. I felt like I was being ignored or even played. All she got out of this was I thought she had used me. I wrote her back and explained that my intent was to say we had became close and when I didn't hear anything from her I had to question what she was thinking. I reminded her she used the same word, "played", in one of her texts she sent me. When I told her I didn't like being accused of that and to stop it she said she wasn't accusing me, that was only the way she felt at the time. WTF? Now I say that and she flips out. She says it sounds like I'm keeping score which I'm not. According to her, her dad and her ex keep score. Then she reminds me that she was doing all of the initiating at first. That Valentine's Day came and went with no word from me. We'd just started hanging out. It was way too early for any of that. Plus I'm not going to send her flowers and all of that crap anyway. Then she even went on to say that she got her BD cake a week late after her birthday. She conveniently had forgotten that I was out of town working over her birthday and that I surprised her with the cake, dinner, etc. She even cried about how thoughtful I was and no one had ever done that for her before. So even though I'm not really keeping score and she says she's not keeping score she throws all of this in my face like a hypocrite.

This last weekend my bro and I went home to visit our parents. We were just told our mom was going to have to have heart surgery. That's always serious but she's expected to be fine. So today, after not writing Sara back for a day and a half, because of family, she writes me at 3:30 am, "so am taking your silence to mean you have nothing more to say to me. Alrighty then. Take care."

Should I even reply to her? We do have/had a connection so if I do write her should I just tell her we should talk in person or on the phone? Do I agree and amplify with her and say if she's so quick to throw in the towel then I absolutely agree? Or do I just go NC on her? I'm not crazy about this woman right now because of everything I've written about. Although it felt like we did have something and she had potential.

What do you think of this woman? She's 38 btw, never married. I'd really appreciate your thoughts and insight into this girl and what you think I should do.

Sounds like a bad deal to me. I've fallen into the "she's got potential" (aka White Knight) trap before. If a chick has all these issues, you are going to be ground down to a nub trying to manage all her BS. Then you get all twisted up in her drama and emotionally attached and she suddenly leaves. Or even worse you get stuck with her.

Dude, run. Don't ever look back.

Sounds like an average chick to me, lol... seriously. Listen to Colossus, he's the man when it comes to these things, and I agree 100% with him. I am not getting into anything serious with these girls and they know it and are fine with it. No LTR stuff going on right now until I meet a chick that is not normal, which is hard.

Man, this sounds like a goddamn horror movie!

This woman is lowwwww quality. And the fact that you wanna be with her means YOU are low quality.

You should:
1. Forget about this woman
2. Focus on becoming a better man
3. Go find a better woman

Holy fvck is all that real? 9 months and no sex but she comes over and cries about sh!t? That doesn't sound like you are her bf, sounds like you are her b!tch.

Look, everyone has a past, and I am ok with some history if it is just that - history. But with this chick even her current situation sounds fvcked up.

And don't forget:

Law 10 - Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

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Call her. You are a perfect match.
I want my 5 minutes back..

OP you need to work on overcoming your depression as an immediate priority.

That should be your absolute number 1 goal.

When you're depressed, you don't or CAN'T love yourself. I know because I've been there.

If you don't love yourself then even if you attract girls they will have low self-esteem and use and abuse you.

Focus on fixing your depression, then everything else will fall into place.

Drop this woman and move on.

Too many red flags.

Don't tell women that you suffer from depression. You have to be in a healthy state of mind in order to play the "game". I can relate to you because I just got out of a depression myself. It's never easy but you have to take care of yourself before you even think about dating women.

This woman is damaged goods and reading what you wrote I would highly recommend you move on and if you have other women as you say you do...it shouldn't be problem. This will never end well.

You are fixated on this woman too much where you are justifying a lot of BS on her behalf such as "she has potential". Even if she did she's way past her prime. A woman that is in a healthy frame of mind wouldn't tell you all the fuked up sh!t that she has been through especially when you haven't even banged her. Dating/talking to someone/getting to know someone is a gradual process and anyone that is willing to share this much fuked up sh!t with you right off the bat isn't someone healthy. I'm emphasizing on this point so you can understand that not only does she have issues which is very obvious but you do as well.

The signs are all there...move on brah! :trouble:

Thanks guys. Most of you have been really helpful. Yes, it's hard to believe but it's real and after re-reading my post it does sound like a horror movie. She's unstable and a complete mess.

You're right, I did fall into the Captain save a ho trap for a while. I forgot to mention even though she doesn't have a job or any money she wanted to go to Vegas and Chicago. Presumably on my dime.

I think I justified her BS this long because she's a 9 HB and it took a while for all of her issues to surface. Whether they're real or not she probably has more issues on deck she's waiting to spring on me. My brother says she has more issues that People Magazine. It's almost funny how she's tried to turn things to make this my fault somehow.

I'm going to drop her; go ghost and look for a high quality replacement plate. I want a quality girl not a science project.

Easier said than done... So much respect to you if you can really stick with the intentions you just wrote down!

Good luck!

Update.

A few nights ago I received a call from an unknown number. When I answered there was no reply. I said, hello and again, no answer. I hung up. What are the odds that this is the crazy girl? Sounds like some kind of game she's playing. I'm going to continue to ignore her.

This thread is spooky. OP, I would colonize new lands.

Masculinity said:

This thread is spooky. OP, I would colonize new lands.

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Yes it is and just in time for Halloween :woo:

I've read a lot on here about women's hamster wheels but this is the first time I've seen it first hand. This woman I've been writing about is starting to email me pictures of us together. She doesn't say anything other than us at the concert, game, etc.

I just hope going ghost doesn't cause her wheel to go into overdrive.

IF you WANT to be drug back into her life, I'd bet you could f&ck her.... but it isn't worth it.... ALL cats are grey in the dark.....

I haven't been on this forum as long as you have but c'mon man!!! Try to read your post from an objective stance--- the "run for the hills" sign is all over it. Find out what it is with you that's keeping you debating this. Sure, she's prob a cool girl down deep, but you're seriously putting yourself in harm's way if you continue to see her.

So, to answer your question on how to handle it, LEAVE. Do so as nicely as possible and don't look back. Sorry man but it's the best thing to do.

Induced Drag said:

I've been dating one of my plates, Sara, for about 9 months . . . BTW we haven't had sex yet

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If this is the case, you shouldn't be putting up with any drama, let alone all that nonsense.

Do this:

http://media.carbonated.tv/56497_story__original5.gif

Wow you could stand blindfolded throwing stones and still hit a red flag in this post.

I don't want to hear in a couple of months how you hooked up with this chick and how it all went bad.

For the lurkers
NO matter how strong a person is, no matter how hard you try to drag these damaged goods into a better life - they will drag you under. Just when you think you have them sorted (and it can last months/years) they mushroom cloud you from out of the blue. You can waste years of productive time on a hopeless case that goes nowhere.