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Showing every "IOI" possible, yet has a bf

mbas44

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Title pretty much says it all. After this approach Im seriously wondering if its even worth it to read indicators of interest or whatever. I was at the dog park w my pooch and it was just me and this girl and her dog. After a few min I opened just w some small talk about her dog and next thing you know she is sitting at my bench.(Our benches were a good 40 feet apart originally). Anyhow she sits and starts talking, I talked about 10-20 percent of time at most asking questions etc and she was originally very nervous yet quickly opened up. She was playing w her hair laughing, good eye contact. I asked her name she stuck out her hand and immediately asked mine. After about 15-20 min Im thinking to myself this is about a sure thing as Ive ever had talking to a woman. Shes 43 btw yet looked about 30 she was very beautiful to me about 5 foot tall in great shape, etc. Anyways Im getting ready to leave and tell her we should get a drink and she pauses and then says "sure..but I have a bf"..LOL I was seriously stunned in this instance. She then said she appreciated me asking and was hoping wed see each other again at the dog park. I said its cool.( I know some like to kind of push it when a chick says she has a bf, but Ive never really tried it so it honestly didnt occur to me)..anyways she just sort of hung around for a second and I broke the silence and said well I have to go it was great meeting you..Anyways Im leaving some things out however this was about as blatant as it can get and we had an immediate connection, yet and still...she wasnt available or so she says. Im sure I coulda been a little stronger asking to meet up(in fact shoulda just gone for number), but other than that this was pretty much me being approached haha. Has anyone run into anything like this? Ive talked w girls where things were not even close to this good and I ended up going out w them. just confusing maybe Id have been better off asking earlier in the convo if she had a bf, but this is something that never really feels natural to me. I normally wouldnt bring this up but like I said this was as sure a thing( or so I thought) as Ive had in awhile. any advice is great, are there other ways Im missing to tell wether your just being used for validation, or its real? And I dont claim to be a master DJ or anything but I know the difference between just friendly talk and something else.The lines were clearly blurred here lol.
 
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Krueg

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IOI's dont mean sh!t.. Women hide their true feelings, especially the hot ones. Its YES to getting her number and its YES to a date! Anything less you move on.
 

mbas44

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Krueg said:
IOI's dont mean sh!t.. Women hide their true feelings, especially the hot ones. Its YES to getting her number and its YES to a date! Anything less you move on.
Yes this is what Im starting to think. I mean Ive asked for girls numbers before just sorta as an afterthought because I thought it didnt go great and just asked for it for fun and it turns into something. This is really the first time where it seemed almost a guarantee and turns out she has a bf. Just kind of frustrating cuz if you truly cant truse indications of interest its really just a guessing game lol. I mean today I really could "feel" the attraction so idk just a lil disappointing. Think im better off not even talking to them for so long and just asking for the number/meetup pretty quickly.
 

VladPatton

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That's the game,man. You did the best you could of done in what seemed like a golden situation.

Be chill, say hello next time you see her and continue being talkative, just in case she was sh!t testing you and it was all bvllshi!t. Other than that, you asked , she rejected, time to move on.
 

El Payaso

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You did good not messing around with another man's woman.
 

mbas44

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Thanks guys yeah I Ill definitely be cool when I see her again im sure it wont be hard it was pretty effortless talking with her. Funnily enough I talked later last night with my brother who went to the same college as her and he actually knew her and claimed she has two last names(hyphenated) which usually means married I believe? lol she didnt have a ring on so who knows? Like I said with all the IOIs etc that didnt seem even in the realm of possibility.haha. craziness.
 

JaegerPilot217

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Sounds like an outcome dependent mindset but yeah I have dealt with this many times a lot of women will reciprocate and engage you in conversation but when you ask them out they have a boyfriend already, women that are taken apparently are easier to talk to you because they are full of pride and I'm sure it gives them an ego boost to give the boyfriend objection because they know other guys can't have them, makes it feel like they have power
 

VladPatton

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JaegerPilot217 said:
Sounds like an outcome dependent mindset but yeah I have dealt with this many times a lot of women will reciprocate and engage you in conversation but when you ask them out they have a boyfriend already, women that are taken apparently are easier to talk to you because they are full of pride and I'm sure it gives them an ego boost to give the boyfriend objection because they know other guys can't have them, makes it feel like they have power

It's instant validation. And in a fun way. They don't feel pretty today, so they'll mess with a guy, get validated by being asked out, then go home feeling great. As long as you can spot these games and walk away, you're good.
 
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