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A good article on neediness vs persistence

Oxide

Master Don Juan
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A good article, but might be hard to wrap one's head around it without an example. Luckily I have the perfect one that happened a few weeks ago.



A friend of mine and I get invited from a club to an after party with 3 girls. It's a HB8, who is all over my friend, an HB7, and an HB4.

I am standing outside with HB4 having a smoke and waiting for the others to come out as I figure out how we're going to get to their place, and at the same time I am trying to be cool with the HB4... Since I want to go to the afterparty (i kind of invited myself after they said my friend is leaving with them) I am talking..but maybe talking a little too much, being a little too friendly with the HB4. Not in a friendly kind of way, but more in the "i hope you think i'm cool, so I can come with" kind of vibe.. not a good vibe I admit.

So then the rest come out and I see how HB7 is but she's not saying much, and HB4 keeps talking so whatever I talk to her on the way to the car. In the car, I can tell HB4 wants it, she is "adding energy" to everything I say - I joke, she laughs, I say something smart, she agrees..etc. HB7 is quiet and I've been around long enough so I'm thinking "sh!t.. i hope we get to their place soon enough before this goes sour"

so we get to their place, they have a jacuzzi. HB8 ends up going to her room w my friend. HB7 goes upstrairs to change but never comes back. So its me and HB4 and I'm like "crap..." but I want to get laid that night especially, so I say "lets go in the hot tub?"

she says she doesn't want to. there was some drama I'm not including and she had her reasons, but I press a bit:

"we can just talk"

her - i dont want to talk.

and she goes away.

So I say "ok, screw this, I'm going in the hot tub (its overlooking an ocean shore..so hell yeah I wanted to go in and feel good w a drink in my hand)

so I'm sitting there, looking at the waves.. then it dawns on me.

"dude, Oxide. You're good looking. You're in good shape. And you are sitting here mad because an HB4 doesn't want to have sex with you? Really? That's how low we've fallen?"

So a switch goes off. I actually get mad that I am not respecting myself more. So I say "you know what, I'm just going to enjoy myself. I'm not gonna try to go after HB4 at all. I can do better and she should be chasing me."

so she comes by, sees me naked in the tub. Asks how the water is. I reply calmly. She asks some other stuff and I give her just barely enough. And I can tell right way, she sees the change, she sees I no longer care so much. And now she's intrigued. Suddenly she's thinking of going in. But it's too late.

I go upstairs eventually to get my friend, and HB4 is now pursuing me. But it's too late now, I've made my mind up. So me and my friends leave.

Now, here is the important part- THIS WORKS JUST THE SAME with HB 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, whatever. How do I know? THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I GOT LAID ALL THOSE YEARS before I started respecting myself less and putting them up higher. The filter should ALWAYS BE SET TO "yeah, she's hot, i'd like to bang her, but if we don't, it's not a big deal"

I live in the area now where 9/10 chicks are SMOKING. Dudes with bad filters have ruined this place - chicks think they can skate just on being hot. So when you come by and show that you want A BIT MORE, they come to you like a cat who's been running away from everyone. Point and case, a week ago a hot 21 latina bartender was off work sitting next to me and started touching and tapping ME to get me to talk to her, because I was focused on just chilling and wasn't all over her like another guy.
 

3agle 3yes

Master Don Juan
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Advice I've been posting on here for a long time.

In fact, screening women is ALL a man has to do...it's all I do.

When I approach women I test them immediately to see if they can "vibe" with men.

No vibe, no reward.

If a woman is too interested, too soon, this (to me at least) is a red flag (I'm willing to bet that I might be the only person on this forum who has this view).

I must initiate the initial interaction, I must initiate the flirting/screening/teasing, I must initiate the escalation...if she attempts any of this before I do I will make fun of her, because it's like the female version of acting like a "nice-guy"...it suggests no one wants you.
 
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