Yes, the title is right, I'm a 38 year old man that lives in his parent's house. I know that will provoke many to deem me a loser, and maybe I am, if only temporarily. I'm curious what you guys think of my situation and some advice. I'll explain my situation.
First off, other than living at home at 38, I'm a completely normal guy. I've been independent before, I've always had friends and an easy time making friends, I'm not nerdy, I don't play WoW, I don't have Aspergers, I don't dress bad, I have good grooming and hygiene. I'm just a normal guy, seriously.
I only recently moved back home. So I'm not "still" living with my parents. I moved out of my parents home when I was 18 and went to college in another state. I always worked and paid my own way through school. Never needed a dime from my parents.
In 2010 I had a dope apartment in one of America's top tier cities. However, I had run into financial problems and made some career and financial mistakes that caused my savings to dwindle. I don't care to explain all those circumstances, but part of it was going on a sort of sabbatical mini retirement, traveling, finding my myself, pursuing personal interests and such. I had enough saved up to last me awhile without being employed. However when my savings was running down and I decided to jump back into the workforce, I was not having any luck finding a new job that paid enough for me to comfortably survive on. At the same time, my rent was going up $200 a year. The final whammy was a medical emergency that caused me to need a surgery. I had health insurance, but only minimal coverage because I've always been very healthy. So I had a huge deductible. I'd been debt free my entire life up until this point. I'd tried before to launch some home based biz but it never took off, and I was having trouble finding work.
I looked at my options. Worse case scenario, I could get two jobs if necessary doing whatever I could find, downgrade from my nice apartment to one in a not as nice area and maybe even live with a roommate. But I'd be just surviving and one paycheck from defaulting on bills and really wouldn't be able to pay down my five-figure debt or save much. At the same time, I was kind of tired of the city I was living in after being there most my life and for awhile had been contemplating making a move overseas at some point as I also follow Roosh V's blog and his adventures gaming women in other countries.
My second option was to just sell all my ****, throw everything I can fit into my car and move back in with my parents for 1-2 years virtually expense free(they don't charge me any rent) I would then be able to accomplish my goals of:
1) Being able to rapidly pay off my debts.
2) Being able to save 2-3 years worth of reserve living expenses to either use as a future down-payment on a home or a life cushion.
3) Focus on rebuilding my career stability and eventually a location independent business that would allow me to live in another country and still earn a living, without having to worry about cashflow and living expenses in the meantime.
Right now my entire monthly expenses are about $550 a month. That includes food, gym membership, fuel, auto insurance, health/dental insurance, etc.
I was able to find a job I really like in this new city here that's a great fit for me at the pay I want so now I'm paying off my debts and should be on target to be debt free by this winter and hopefully by next summer I'll have at least $50k saved up as a life cushion, maybe more depending on how long I decide to stay here. I'd never have been able to do this if I stayed where I was rather than swallow my pride and move back in with my folks. Once again, I'm not some nerd playing video games in mommy's basement. I work 50-60hrs a week. All I really need is a bed, a gym and an internet connection. I have an extremely minimal lifestyle. Sure I could afford an apartment or condo here, the problem is 1) I don't like this city that much and have no intentions on remaining here long term, so I don't want to have to sign a lease or take out a mortgage and then have to go through the trouble and expense of furnishing the place. 2) I eventually want to relocate abroad maybe by the end of next year and not having a bunch of possessions to get rid of is the first step and that's where I'm at now. 3) That $1,000 a month in rent I'd be paying is a $1,000 that's not going to paying off my medical bills or into my savings account. Some days I really hate the idea that I'm 38 and living at home and feel terrible about it, but then I remind myself that many of my "independent" friends are living paycheck to paycheck and can't have even one month without cashflow before being bankrupt.
Luckily I get along fine with my parents and having lived 2,000 miles from them for the last 20 years, in some ways it's nice to be able catch up and spend some time with them. They are getting up in age now. There are some privacy issues of course, but it's a small price to pay for being able to quickly get out of debt and save.
The thing that sucks the most of course is the female situation. Being my age and living at home is about as big a DLV as you can get short of being a registered sex offender or cruel to animals. Unless it's a woman in a similar situation, I can't tell them I live at home or it's game over. I'm undecided on what to do, I could either just go out and game anyway, try and lie my ass off about my living situation and hopefully get the bang at her house before she finds out my background, or just put women and gaming on the back burner and focus on getting my life back on track. Because I won't lie, this definitely effects my confidence and I don't feel like I can go hard the way I want. I hate having to lie about my situation and not feel my authentic self.
So what do you guys think? Has anyone been in this situation before or know anyone that has? If you guys, think I'm a loser for living like this, I could understand that. It's definitely tough after having been independent for 20 years. I'd be curious to hear your feedback too. I just think of myself as taking a temporary sacrifice to get my **** back on track. I know a lot of people living on their own that are in debt and paycheck from disaster. I'm just using this as an opportunity to get to debt free and save up 2-3 years of a cash cushion.
So tell me what you think...:crazy:
First off, other than living at home at 38, I'm a completely normal guy. I've been independent before, I've always had friends and an easy time making friends, I'm not nerdy, I don't play WoW, I don't have Aspergers, I don't dress bad, I have good grooming and hygiene. I'm just a normal guy, seriously.
I only recently moved back home. So I'm not "still" living with my parents. I moved out of my parents home when I was 18 and went to college in another state. I always worked and paid my own way through school. Never needed a dime from my parents.
In 2010 I had a dope apartment in one of America's top tier cities. However, I had run into financial problems and made some career and financial mistakes that caused my savings to dwindle. I don't care to explain all those circumstances, but part of it was going on a sort of sabbatical mini retirement, traveling, finding my myself, pursuing personal interests and such. I had enough saved up to last me awhile without being employed. However when my savings was running down and I decided to jump back into the workforce, I was not having any luck finding a new job that paid enough for me to comfortably survive on. At the same time, my rent was going up $200 a year. The final whammy was a medical emergency that caused me to need a surgery. I had health insurance, but only minimal coverage because I've always been very healthy. So I had a huge deductible. I'd been debt free my entire life up until this point. I'd tried before to launch some home based biz but it never took off, and I was having trouble finding work.
I looked at my options. Worse case scenario, I could get two jobs if necessary doing whatever I could find, downgrade from my nice apartment to one in a not as nice area and maybe even live with a roommate. But I'd be just surviving and one paycheck from defaulting on bills and really wouldn't be able to pay down my five-figure debt or save much. At the same time, I was kind of tired of the city I was living in after being there most my life and for awhile had been contemplating making a move overseas at some point as I also follow Roosh V's blog and his adventures gaming women in other countries.
My second option was to just sell all my ****, throw everything I can fit into my car and move back in with my parents for 1-2 years virtually expense free(they don't charge me any rent) I would then be able to accomplish my goals of:
1) Being able to rapidly pay off my debts.
2) Being able to save 2-3 years worth of reserve living expenses to either use as a future down-payment on a home or a life cushion.
3) Focus on rebuilding my career stability and eventually a location independent business that would allow me to live in another country and still earn a living, without having to worry about cashflow and living expenses in the meantime.
Right now my entire monthly expenses are about $550 a month. That includes food, gym membership, fuel, auto insurance, health/dental insurance, etc.
I was able to find a job I really like in this new city here that's a great fit for me at the pay I want so now I'm paying off my debts and should be on target to be debt free by this winter and hopefully by next summer I'll have at least $50k saved up as a life cushion, maybe more depending on how long I decide to stay here. I'd never have been able to do this if I stayed where I was rather than swallow my pride and move back in with my folks. Once again, I'm not some nerd playing video games in mommy's basement. I work 50-60hrs a week. All I really need is a bed, a gym and an internet connection. I have an extremely minimal lifestyle. Sure I could afford an apartment or condo here, the problem is 1) I don't like this city that much and have no intentions on remaining here long term, so I don't want to have to sign a lease or take out a mortgage and then have to go through the trouble and expense of furnishing the place. 2) I eventually want to relocate abroad maybe by the end of next year and not having a bunch of possessions to get rid of is the first step and that's where I'm at now. 3) That $1,000 a month in rent I'd be paying is a $1,000 that's not going to paying off my medical bills or into my savings account. Some days I really hate the idea that I'm 38 and living at home and feel terrible about it, but then I remind myself that many of my "independent" friends are living paycheck to paycheck and can't have even one month without cashflow before being bankrupt.
Luckily I get along fine with my parents and having lived 2,000 miles from them for the last 20 years, in some ways it's nice to be able catch up and spend some time with them. They are getting up in age now. There are some privacy issues of course, but it's a small price to pay for being able to quickly get out of debt and save.
The thing that sucks the most of course is the female situation. Being my age and living at home is about as big a DLV as you can get short of being a registered sex offender or cruel to animals. Unless it's a woman in a similar situation, I can't tell them I live at home or it's game over. I'm undecided on what to do, I could either just go out and game anyway, try and lie my ass off about my living situation and hopefully get the bang at her house before she finds out my background, or just put women and gaming on the back burner and focus on getting my life back on track. Because I won't lie, this definitely effects my confidence and I don't feel like I can go hard the way I want. I hate having to lie about my situation and not feel my authentic self.
So what do you guys think? Has anyone been in this situation before or know anyone that has? If you guys, think I'm a loser for living like this, I could understand that. It's definitely tough after having been independent for 20 years. I'd be curious to hear your feedback too. I just think of myself as taking a temporary sacrifice to get my **** back on track. I know a lot of people living on their own that are in debt and paycheck from disaster. I'm just using this as an opportunity to get to debt free and save up 2-3 years of a cash cushion.
So tell me what you think...:crazy:
