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Spoon's Journal: Improving is the keyword

SpoonJedi

Don Juan
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Hi ! I'm SpoonJedi, made few posts, and I am now going to start a small journal. Maybe put it in a blog, what for ? I want to improve myself, not just socially, but generaly, and probably having feedback its the best thing we can ask for when wanting to do such a thing.

So first, introducing myself:

-16 years old
-South Europe
-Short guy, between 5'6 and 5'7 ---> MAIN PROBLEM
-Kinda smart, people consider me intelligent, good grades (18 out of 20).
-Athlectic type of body, I almost don't exercise anymore and still athlectic
-Green Eyes, Blond Hair
-Deep Voice (sometimes hard to hear)
-Use glasses (at least supposed to, I forget to wear them from time to time though)

I know I must find a purpose in life, and I believe I have found one. Space. I've always been deeply inlove with space and everything related to it. My biggest dream was to become an Astronaut, but I probably will not be able to do so (nor join my country's Air Force as a Jet Pilot) because of my Miopy. I wanted to join Navy (my second biggest love after Space is the Sea) but I either would become a Seal (the equivalent in my country) or go to a not much top level engineering degree or in last option go really for being a officer and maybe one day be a captain and follow that military life. But lately I've been thinking on becoming and Astrophysics, so my purpose, my ultimate goal is in there (that and help somehow saving the worlds wild life, my 3rd passion xd). I still have to give it a thought but it lies somewhere along those lines.

Now, having set my ultimate goals, I have to set the smaller ones, the ones I can achieve sooner. I have some:
- Increase my general grades (try to ACE Maths and Physic/Chemistry)
- Start training again (preparing myself for any possible military future and summer)
- Increase my social skills (humor mostly, I am sometimes a fun guy, but just when I go random).

I can also set a goal, that is get a girlfriend, I had my first this summer, first kiss and all, I started really disliking her, (I know now that she is a b word) and we thankfully broke up.

My social life right now is the following, in my school I speak to relativly tons of people, most of them are girls, most of them are older. So not totally bad right now.

I had a crush on a 18y artist girl, I decided to try just to be friends with her (since she is totally different from me, though we are friends), and I was trying to forget her, so I happen to probably fall for another girl.
She's 16, studies the same thing as I do, different class though, she's pretty beautiful, met her in summer, went to the beach with her, remember she looked at me a lot that day. I think I'm starting to like her a lot, she is very nice really, even though I haven't talked much to her yet, my only problem/insecurity is that she is taller than me (like 1,75 probably) and I'm not sure if she will like me because of that. I'm going to the movies with her and some friends in 2 weeks probably, so that's good I think xd
She will be my main goal in the social category. I know I shouldn't focus on one girl, but I'll keep talking to everyone as normal, I just can't like 2 girls at the same time for some reason.

So what to you think ? Any tips ? And about height, what can I do to blur the height difference (to make her ignore it) ? Just try to be confident ?

Thanks for the help !
 

SpoonJedi

Don Juan
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Sup guys decided to update this to make it a little bit better:

Who am I:

-16 years old (17 in 2 weeks
-South Europe
-Short guy, between 5'6 and 5'7 ---> MAIN CONFIDENCE PROBLEM
-Kinda smart, people consider me intelligent, good grades (18 out of 20).
-Athlectic type of body, I almost don't exercise anymore and still athlectic
-Green Eyes, Blond Hair
-Deep Voice (sometimes hard to hear)
-Use glasses (at least supposed to, I forget to wear them from time to time though) --> Got new ones, probably won't forget to use them anymore.

Current Objectives:
>School:

-Ace philosophy and maths
-Get more concentrated so I can at least get a 19/20 in the 2 chemistry tests remaining
-ACE the physics and chemistry exam that I'll do in 2 months and get a 18/20 in the Biology/Geology one.


>Social

-Be funnier -- Really need to work on this
-Get back to normal me, less crazy
-Talk to more people
-Be the guy I would like to hang around with

>General stuff:
-Learn German this summer
-Read the tons of books I have in my waiting list
-Decide wether I want to go to Astrophysics or Aerospace Engineering
-Get back to training every week. Try to go 3 times a week to swim. Maybe get back to try to achieve BarsBrothers level with a friend of mine.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll try to update this every week from now on.

See yah guys !
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
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So anyone can list their goals, but few work out how to reach them. You should go over that.
 

SpoonJedi

Don Juan
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NorwegianDJ said:
So anyone can list their goals, but few work out how to reach them. You should go over that.
Okay then, I'll try:
Current Objectives:
>School:

-Ace philosophy and maths -> By studying a bit more philosophy over the week until my last test, and maths just doing what I've been doing all year with just a bit more concentration
-Get more concentrated so I can at least get a 19/20 in the 2 chemistry tests remaining -> By doing at least 2/3 exercices a day in the week b4 the tests
-ACE the physics and chemistry exam that I'll do in 2 months and get a 18/20 in the Biology/Geology one. -> Everytime I have free time, instead of playing lol make 2 exercises of any thing of physics/chemistry and read a chapter of Biology/Geology, better way to spend 45 minutes


>Social

-Be funnier -> I really don't know with this one, I'm thinking on watching some series again like How I met your mother and Rick and Morty, things that made me laugh like hell at a certain point.
-Get back to normal me, less crazy -> This is more of a goal that is a long run one, survived a massive heart shred, I guess I'm over it but sometimes I just go down and being more of a lunatic than what I already am kinda serves as a protection, but I guess this will pass with time if I have success with the rest of the things.
-Talk to more people -> Everytime I get a chance just start some chat, even some random chatting in fb if I'm on one of those crazy nights with a friend of mine (just fooling around in the internet, the nerd's crazy night ahah)
-Be the guy I would like to hang around with -> Also a thing that's more of the global effect of change, but maybe this mean particularly try to be nicer to people, not too nice though

>General stuff:
-Learn German this summer -> Just get myself in a course
-Read the tons of books I have in my waiting list -> Just get myself some time after the exams instead of playing pc
-Decide wether I want to go to Astrophysics or Aerospace Engineering -> this is the hard part
-Get back to training every week. Try to go 3 times a week to swim. Maybe get back to try to achieve BarsBrothers level with a friend of mine. -> Just charge my swimming pool card and go, probably monday, wednesday and friday. And then, if not too occupied by tests go to a park with bars in sunday

Also gotta start chat with a HB blonde I met yesterday, my friend she's really hard to get, so I gotta be in a good mood. And with the mindset that I can do whatever I set myself to do and have fun.

But, btw, does anyone have any tips on how to get funnier ? My humor is usually too dark to be used with girls when I'm trying to meet them :/.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Being funnier comes with getting more comfortable with yourself and other people, so focus on that.

Now, if you want to, make the goals a bit more detailed, like a to-do thing, and make a system for holding yourself accountable. Enjoy your progress :)
 

SpoonJedi

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The 18/19 yo that shred my heart came to my school, I talked to her a little bit but tried to rush it, she noticed it, I did the same thing two days ago in fb when I put a chat with her because of a bet (and because I was feelling not that well) and when she responded I said I had to go study after a couple messages. But yeah.. moving on ! Yesterday's history and tomorrow's a mistery.

In other news, didnt talk to the blonde HB, tomorrow I hope I see her and get the guts to do it. Also 2 guys that went to the same party where I met her (but kinda were a bit more social) are after her aswell, at least they arent from our school, and she hasnt accepted my fb invite. I'll try to talk anyway.. obstacles are fun :p !
 

SpoonJedi

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So update: Talked to the blonde HB, made her laugh and her friend.
But got the news that a friend of mine is after her, so I kinda will quit on that, bros before hoes right ?
So yeah, still have the other girl I met at the party, 7 probably, kinda nice, talked to her and other friend of her today, I think at least got to meet more people, I just don't know if I should move on her or no, I don't feel a thing for her seriously, she looks fine and seems nice but, dont feel much :/

Anyway had a chemistry test today, probably going to have 18 in 20, so not that bad, gotta study tons for the exams in one month though.
 

SpoonJedi

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Totally pissed off by myself right now.
Today helped a girl I've trying to forget (a taller girl, I kinda like her but she's like 1,75 m and I'm 1,69m/1,70m, so quiet weird and I dont seem to be abble to get any topics with her), so I helped her with a work (she's not in my class) and she got in my mind again. Then later, after getting out of school I was in the bus stop with her, 2 girls from her class I know and one guy who is a big friend of mine, also from her class. Talked a bit joked a bit, nothing with her in particular I think (trying to stay cool, without thinking about her). Then took the bus with them, and none of us were sitting and she asked if we didnt want to sit in the back of the bus, none of us did and she went alone. I should've gone aswell and start a chat but nope, just stayed there with the others, not actually saying much.. then I actually changed a few words with her in the distance and waited for her to get out of the bus and only then became my normal self (more relaxed). Damn I fell so AFC, and SO PISSED OFF WITH MYSELF ARGHHH
 

SpoonJedi

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Guess I'm 17, been feeling pretty bad.
But first, I went to a sea training activity with my country's navy, in a old ship and I simply love the sea, it's my passion. It reactivated the fire I had for the navy, and it went back to one of my options for the futre.
My birthday was pretty good, tons of people talked to me, even some girls that I hadn't spoke in a while. And some younger girl came talking to me, I guess one of them has a crush on me, even a friend of her (gay friend) came talking to me on fb (and some people that know him said he's hitting on me, this isn't the first time this kinda thing happens ._.), she is a 5/6 , I'm not interested but I don't wanna hurt the girl. And also a 18 yo girl from a friend's class probably likes me, she has been starting chat in fb twice and asked me for snap, she's like an 8, but again, I dont feel much interested :/ And I feel bad in this kind of situation.

I've seen a girl at school, from a friends class, short, blue eyes and blonde, she is like an 8 to me, just because she's freaking cute. But as always, I'm clueless about how to approach. My friend and I have been trying to make me talk to her when he's with his class. I'll see how it goes.


But then disaster struck, had the final math test and I freaking don't know what happened I freaking failed at that, just got nervous, everything was looking like wrong, forgot how to do some of the questions damn, I'd be happy if I got a 12 (in 20), I freaking had 19, I screwd up.

Monday I will have the final geology test before the exam and I need to get a good grade to maintain my 17 (had 15 in the last one) so I will spend my weekend studying. This week I also have my final Chemistry test before the exam, in thursday, so from monday to thursday I will focus on chesmistry to try to have my best I think I not really for the test but for the exam. I HAVE TO DO GREAT it's my life that will be decided in two days, and I cannot afford to have a breakdown like I had in that math test.

If I get a bad grade at math, my final year medium will be 18, attached to my last years one and I have 17,9. This is not enough, I will still have one year, that will be easier and in which I wanna get at least 18.5, that will make things easier. But the really important thing is the exams, and I have to focus. I'm going for a run and get back to geology when I come back. See you in a few weeks !
 
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