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advice on a gift

source55

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Hello,

My girl...well ex comes back from her holiday on Sunday and when I see her I wanna give her something. Something that will make her happy or something...

We had a fight and split, well she left me, but now things are stabilizing, and we are friends, she said we are gonna be just friends, but...that's what she said before we got together... she says a lot and doesn't really mean it.

I was thinking of drawing a pic of a cat (i draw well and she loves cats) and maybe some candy ... Also I have no idea what to write on it by the cat
I don't want to suck it up to her...just something special to go with...
I bought her flowers last week...
I don't want her to think im buying her off.

So what do u think?
 

Maximus Rex

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Really Bruh

F*ck off the broad with that b.s., man.
 

source55

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Well. I don't know.
Im not a pro at this like you guys are...

Suggest.
 

Eph

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The best gift to get her is nothing. Seriously. What you think is a nice, kind, sincere gesture is not in her (or any other woman's) book. The only thing you'll get out of it is a "aw, you're so nice". You giving her anything just says, "I can't win your affection with my personality, so I'll buy it with gifts". It's even worse to do this after breaking up.

Though, I was in a different situation, a few years ago I bought a girl I liked a carnation. She wasn't at school the day they were handing them out, so she never got it. So, I decided to buy her more flowers. I couldn't find any (in my defense, I've never shopped for flowers before), so I got her a small heart-shaped necklace.

I thought, "girls like these things, right?" So, the next time I saw her, I gave it to her. I wasn't actually comfortable with just saying, "hey, I got you a necklace", (even though I was texting her while I was getting her a gift) so I did what I do best. Be an ass and hit her (lightly) in the back of the head with it. You know what happened after that? She looked at me, said, "awww" and took her gift.

And that was that. We didn't get together after that, we weren't closer after that. Nothing else happened. I don't even know what happened to the necklace since I don't talk to her anymore. Though, I will admit I'm curious.

Don't get her anything. Reward good behavior, and punish bad behavior. Don't buy or give her anything for breaking up with you. It's weak. If you really want her back, keep doing what you're doing, meet some other girls, and hope for the best. If worse comes to worse, you at least have other girls to you occupied.
 

No.Danny

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Eph said:
The best gift to get her is nothing. Seriously. What you think is a nice, kind, sincere gesture is not in her (or any other woman's) book. The only thing you'll get out of it is a "aw, you're so nice". You giving her anything just says, "I can't win your affection with my personality, so I'll buy it with gifts". It's even worse to do this after breaking up.

Though, I was in a different situation, a few years ago I bought a girl I liked a carnation. She wasn't at school the day they were handing them out, so she never got it. So, I decided to buy her more flowers. I couldn't find any (in my defense, I've never shopped for flowers before), so I got her a small heart-shaped necklace.

I thought, "girls like these things, right?" So, the next time I saw her, I gave it to her. I wasn't actually comfortable with just saying, "hey, I got you a necklace", (even though I was texting her while I was getting her a gift) so I did what I do best. Be an ass and hit her (lightly) in the back of the head with it. You know what happened after that? She looked at me, said, "awww" and took her gift.

And that was that. We didn't get together after that, we weren't closer after that. Nothing else happened. I don't even know what happened to the necklace since I don't talk to her anymore. Though, I will admit I'm curious.

Don't get her anything. Reward good behavior, and punish bad behavior. Don't buy or give her anything for breaking up with you. It's weak. If you really want her back, keep doing what you're doing, meet some other girls, and hope for the best. If worse comes to worse, you at least have other girls to you occupied.
Listen to this guy. What the fvck is wrong with you?? Are you gay?
 

Blistex

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The best gift you can give her is you.

Vincoid said:
The funny thing is (well, at least for me) that most things attractive to girls, seem very illogic. For instance, a lot of guys think showering a girl with gifts, spending a lot of time with her or saying you love her will make her like you. However, to a girl this is simply not the case. To her it's manipulative, creepy and repulsive.

Of course, not for all girls, let that be clear, but when I give advice, I always give advice that'll get you the most attractive, succesful, smart, sexy girls there are.

http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/180360/186
 

jimmy18

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source55 said:
Hello,

My girl...well ex comes back from her holiday on Sunday and when I see her I wanna give her something. Something that will make her happy or something...

We had a fight and split, well she left me, but now things are stabilizing, and we are friends, she said we are gonna be just friends, but...that's what she said before we got together... she says a lot and doesn't really mean it.

I was thinking of drawing a pic of a cat (i draw well and she loves cats) and maybe some candy ... Also I have no idea what to write on it by the cat
I don't want to suck it up to her...just something special to go with...
I bought her flowers last week...
I don't want her to think im buying her off.

So what do u think?
One of the gayest suggestions I've read on sosuave.net :crazy:
 

No.Danny

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jimmy18 said:
One of the gayest suggestions I've read on sosuave.net :crazy:
Haha ....... I'm dying..
 

devilkingx2

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rules of giving gifts to women:
----------------------------

1. only on special occasions (birthday, holiday, etc.), for gratitude (she did something worthy of a gift), ulterior motive(she smells bad so you buy deoderant) or out of guilt(you cheated but haven't confessed).

2. never to a woman you aren't on great terms with or one who doesn't deserve it (not to women who hate you, or ones who barely know you, or ones who've never done anything for you but have had the opportunity, or ones who're ungrateful/unpleaseable, etc.)


the point of rule #1 is that you should shower her with gifts for no reason at all, that's beta and a waste of money and won't work.

the point of rule #2 is that batman didn't buy the mugger who killed his parents a christmas gift.
 

source55

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Ok so I guess it's best to go with this:

When we go out, i will buy some snacks and invite her to my place to play video games...
I'm gonna be myself...the person she fell in love a year ago..
 

No.Danny

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source55 said:
Ok so I guess it's best to go with this:

When we go out, i will buy some snacks and invite her to my place to play video games...
I'm gonna be myself...the person she fell in love a year ago..
Yes. That's more like it. Not completely. But on the right track!!
 

source55

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What about this: Call her and invite her on a pizza, and then we will go to my place if she wants to...

Im just trying different options..
Trying to find the one that will make the day fun for her
 

No.Danny

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source55 said:
What about this: Call her and invite her on a pizza, and then we will go to my place if she wants to...

Im just trying different options..
Trying to find the one that will make the day fun for her
I mean you're obviously suffering one-itis with this girl. Stop worrying about if she has a good time. She's your fvcking ex. That type of behavior is probably a reason. If you want to get her back that's not the way to do it.
 

No.Danny

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There's a thread in this website how to get your ex back something a long those lines. Read it.
 

source55

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I read some threads yes, now I need advice on my specific one...
 

Eph

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Hell, pizza and/or snacks and having her over to play some games (if she's into that) is a hell of a lot better than your previous ideas, so I say, go for it. But, I really want you to know the fact that you want her back so badly is the same, exact reason you're unlikely to get her back.

You probably can't tell it now, but all this focus you're putting on her is exactly what's going to driver her further away. You might wanna try (meaning force yourself, because it will be the hardest thing you've ever had to do) losing all contact with her. You do this, and there's a chance she'll start to think about all the good times you had together, and may try to get back with you.

The key to all of this is, you can't get her back the way you're going about it now. She has to reach out to you.
 

source55

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Totally agree with you!

Pushing her, and almost forcing her to hang out with me will only make me more in a friendzone...
My best idea: Act normal, so I will be fun to her... and if I see no interest, loose a bit of contact...

Also when she gets back, and asks me how i was. Should i say i missed her and how bad is it without her or say it was cool and that i had a blast.. (note that she sent me a text today that its awesome there and that she doesnt want to go home)
I dont want her to think i moved on...because if I do she will think I got over her and then probably friendzone me. (She said we can be friends when we ended our relationship)
 
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Blistex

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source55 said:
I dont want her to think i moved on...because if I do she will think I got over her and then probably friendzone me. (She said we can be friends when we ended our relationship)
No one can guarantee that you will get her back as your girlfriend. But we can suggest ways that will help.

This is a textbook situation we hear about on SoSuave all the time. What you need to show is indifference: not caring about her by keeping her off the pedestal. Might it tell her that you moved on? Certainly, but that may also increase her attraction to you because as of right now, you are focusing all your attention on her and that is unattractive.

If you start dropping contact now (do it now, don't wait) and acting all mysterious (women love mystery), she will start to wonder why and fear that she is losing you. The result will be she contacts you, basically begging for your attention (rather than you begging for her's!).
 
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