BPD ex gf....need support

So i found this girl. We had been gf/bf for about 2 months. She was great at first until i realized that i was dealing with a BPD. She had many of the classic signs. Ex strippper, mild substance abuse, product of divorce, eating disorder and possibly molestation. I stayed with her and put up with her extreme jealousy for about 2 months because she was prob the hottest GF i ever got 8/10. The sex was also incredible.

The last straw came when my friend invited us to have dinner with him and his gf. I asked my girl earlier that day and she agreed over text. I asked her again later on in the day and she agreed once again. I even called her 2 hours before and confirmed with her again. Then out of no where 20 mins before we were supposed to leave she flakes and says " can you go alone". She then starts with the excuses like "i have nothing to wear and something came up".

This infuriated me. My friends made dinner specifically for her picky tastes. They were depending on me keeping my word to them. This was extremely embarrassing for me. How could i explain to them why i am coming alone to the dinner? I flip out on my girl over the phone and end things. I told her to lose my number and that its done because of this.

Now i know to avoid BPD. But i want to know if i am overreacting? She didnt flake on me because of infidelity. We live in the same apartment complex so i know she wasnt cheating . Im guessing it was her insecurities with not feeling good enough for my friends?

My emotions came to a boiling point because of all of the other BPD crap i had to deal with that whole month. The constant jealousy, moodiness and insecurity. She was getting better and im afraid i threw the baby out with the bathwater??

I know the answer to this. I just need some support because breaking it off is hard. Very hard. Especially when she is hot. I can get other girls but prob not this hot for a while. And i really kinda liked her. Minus all the soul crushing craziness and arguments over nothing. I really want to call her and its been 3 days. But i gotta stay strong. Need some support.

If she's a BPD, you are better off without her. They are very addictive, at least for me, and it hurts to let them go. They are like an illicit drug. You will get the greatest highs ever, while simultaneously destroying other other aspects of your life. You will become a junkie to this b!tch which sounds like is already happening. Cut the cord.

Obviously, you can do whatever you want. That's just my advice based on my experience with one crazy a55, sexy b1tch that I had. I had to cut her off 3 years ago and it was very difficult. I still think about her. I still crave that high she gave me sometimes.

Malcontent said:

If she's a BPD, you are better off without her. They are very addictive, at least for me, and it hurts to let them go. They are like an illicit drug. You will get the greatest highs ever, while simultaneously destroying other other aspects of your life. You will become a junkie to this b!tch which sounds like is already happening. Cut the cord.

Obviously, you can do whatever you want. That's just my advice based on my experience with one crazy a55, sexy b1tch that I had. I had to cut her off 3 years ago and it was very difficult. I still think about her. I still crave that high she gave me sometimes.

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Yeh man it definately feels like a drug withdrawal. You are right i do need to cut the cord. What gets me is when you read articles saying that it is possible to have a fulfilling relationship with a BPD. They say that it just takes works and that a true man would be willing to put in the work. These articles kinda shame you for leaving. They also give you false hope.

The other thing that gets me is that i keep wondering if she is with another one of her orbiters. Its not the break up per se that kills me. Its the wondering if she is fuc**ng another guy so quickly after i stopped talking to her.

I went on a date with another girl who wasnt as hot. It helped take my mind off her a little. Everyday gets a little better. But im still tempted to call her. What does the end look like for these women. Its really sad that such beautiful women are inevitably going to end up destroying their lives. It sucks to see a person you care about do that.

They don't wait long to line up the new guy. It's usually while they are still involved with you, before they end it. But make no mistake, he was probably there all along. Most likely someone she was stringing along waiting in the wings just in case. Sometimes they recycle their ex's. If she is a real deal BPD, having a successful relationship with one isn't possible. Their paradoxical natures make it impossible. Everything can be smooth sailing for a while, and they will find a way to create drama and chaos. It's the only way to fill the black hole they have inside, is to stir up some drama. It took my nearly a year to get over a BPD, but the only way to do it is trough no contact.

Just stick with it, and put the worse ahead of the good, for that is why you blew up on her. You can't let some crazy bıtch destroy your social circle, and mainly your life. Own your decision, and don't let anyone shame you for anything.

Fück those articles written by professional AFC's who can't get other women. Let them deal with BDPs if they're so brilliant. You've got sanity to enjoy.

Pandora, so sad to see you've fallen for a BPD...

There's no way around it, you are in a very bad spot and the near future is gonna be a tough time for you. You know there's only one right thing to do, which is cutting her out of your life completely. And yes, that's gonna cause serious emotional withdrawal symptoms... Feelings of pain, confusion and frustration are gonna engulf you and you gotta fight through that.

Just know that you will! So many of us on SoSuave have made it through, and if we can do it, you can do it! I guess I'll just leave you with this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHB4RK_-Mrg&t=0m43s

VladPatton said:

Just stick with it, and put the worse ahead of the good, for that is why you blew up on her. You can't let some crazy bıtch destroy your social circle, and mainly your life. Own your decision, and don't let anyone shame you for anything.

Fück those articles written by professional AFC's who can't get other women. Let them deal with BDPs if they're so brilliant. You've got sanity to enjoy.

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Hey man thanks for the support. Its times like this i am so glad that i found SoSuave. The advice here is truly invaluable. BPD's have a way of humbling even the most seasoned players. I know im humbled.

If i did try to work it out with her in the back of my mind i know that i would be succumbing to serious scarcity mentality. Why would anyone ever try to work it with a BPD if it wasnt for scarcity mentality? Sometimes i want to just accept the fact that really hot girls are scarce and try to work it out with her. Then i snap back out of it.

Die Hard said:

Pandora, so sad to see you've fallen for a BPD...

There's no way around it, you are in a very bad spot and the near future is gonna be a tough time for you. You know there's only one right thing to do, which is cutting her out of your life completely. And yes, that's gonna cause serious emotional withdrawal symptoms... Feelings of pain, confusion and frustration are gonna engulf you and you gotta fight through that.

Just know that you will! So many of us on SoSuave have made it through, and if we can do it, you can do it! I guess I'll just leave you with this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHB4RK_-Mrg&t=0m43s

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Thanks for the support my friend. This is the one corner of the manosphere where men want to help each other. I am very grateful. I was really hurting man. I hardly ever feel sad becuz of women, im usually pretty good with them. This chick was another creature.

This girl embodied everything i wanted in a chick (so it seemed). I thought i could finally put the game behind me. I had enough of the ONS and player life style. She seemed like my escape from empty sex and spinning plates. This is why realizing that she is BPD was such a big blow to me. My illusion of her came crashing down.

I am hooking up with other girls in order to get over it. These girls are not anywhere as hot as BPD chick but i hope it works. The intense sadness that i felt after i broke up with her is something that i didnt know i was capable of anymore. The high you get with these girls is the low you will feel when they leave.

What makes this whole thing even more painful is that there is no reasoning with these animals. They do not respond to logic. I cant promise that i wont relapse and call her again but ima try. Thanks for the Rocky clip. Thats the best Rocky movie imo

Relationships with BPDs are a big deal - the high is indeed very similar to that from drugs such as opiates, and the withdrawal is also similar, since the same areas of the brain have been manipulated.

You have a head start in that you finished it and haven't gone back - normally these relationships end and restart 6 or 7 times, each time making the final ending - finalized by her when she is ready to move straight to your replacement - much harder.

The only way through is to have zero contact, take care of yourself and your life, and use the experience to become a wiser better man for the future.

But make no mistake, it will have a lifelong impact - because you will never meet anyone who lives up to that false person (because it is an act) and also because it will be hard to accept the truth of what happened and your own role in it.

These women really are the most toxic parasites of all. The only way to keep them is to allow them to take everything from you - your life, money, self worth, independence, the lot, and even then, when you have nothing left to take, they will leave for the next victim. Their unconscious ultimate aim is to take your life, and they do it all with zero empathy or compassion.

You are lucky to be out, move forward and never look back. And be ready - they always come back...

samosa said:

Relationships with BPDs are a big deal - the high is indeed very similar to that from drugs such as opiates, and the withdrawal is also similar, since the same areas of the brain have been manipulated.

You have a head start in that you finished it and haven't gone back - normally these relationships end and restart 6 or 7 times, each time making the final ending - finalized by her when she is ready to move straight to your replacement - much harder.

The only way through is to have zero contact, take care of yourself and your life, and use the experience to become a wiser better man for the future.

But make no mistake, it will have a lifelong impact - because you will never meet anyone who lives up to that false person (because it is an act) and also because it will be hard to accept the truth of what happened and your own role in it.

These women really are the most toxic parasites of all. The only way to keep them is to allow them to take everything from you - your life, money, self worth, independence, the lot, and even then, when you have nothing left to take, they will leave for the next victim. Their unconscious ultimate aim is to take your life, and they do it all with zero empathy or compassion.

You are lucky to be out, move forward and never look back. And be ready - they always come back...

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Samosa thanks for this post bro. Sorry i didnt reply earlier. I been struggling with this BPD no contact thing. I been kinda down the whole week. Im 6 days no contact after our last and final break up (hopefully). This site has been a blessing for me.

I think i am finally getting over her. But i still cant stop wondering if she if scrwing other guys. I often wonder if she cheated in our relationship. Its kind of a sick curiosity. Im am also afraid that she might be pregnant ( i hope she isnt). Im not about to contact her first to ask her though.

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:

Otherwise it could take you 1 year or more to get over her like it did for me.

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Yeh bro i hear ya. How did you get over her? Did you have to date girls just as hot as her? Im afrad that until i find that girl that is around her hotness im not going to be quite over her.

You are completly fvcked up to take girl with so many red flags for gf.Sex was good .... are you 15 ? How long before it would get boring and redundant ? A Year maybe ... and then what ? LTR with exstripper ... you come here and cry when you should open champagne.You need support ... some crazy chick wont make you BJ ...
YES, LIFE WILL END, LET ME HUG YOU,YOU POOR THING .

Pandora said:

So i found this girl. We had been gf/bf for about 2 months. She was great at first until i realized that i was dealing with a BPD. She had many of the classic signs. Ex strippper, mild substance abuse, product of divorce, eating disorder and possibly molestation. I stayed with her and put up with her extreme jealousy for about 2 months because she was prob the hottest GF i ever got 8/10. The sex was also incredible.

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I'm confused! 60 days?? It took me longer then 60 days to genuinely like my dog. It took more then 60 days to start liking my new car. It took me longer then 60 days to overcome an illness. etc.etc.etc. You get the idea.

How bad are the girls that you've been dating that in 60 days you can be heart broken by an ex stripper with a mild substance abuse problem and an eating disorder? Why treat your self this way? You may want to start looking in new places for women.

Listen, you can dig through garbage all of your life and one day find an unopened bag of Doritos with a current expiration date.....word of advice: "don't eat the Doritos"!!! The best thing you find in a heap of trash doesn't make it the best thing for you!!!

ZTIME said:

You may want to start looking in new places for women.

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Yeh i feel ya man. Thing is i live in Las Vegas. The stripper capital of the world. I swear 1/4 of the attractive young girls have danced at some point in this city. This is no exaggeration. Ive dated other girls and about 1/2 of them have stripped.

I have been involved with this chick for about 3 months and 2 months exclusive. I know thats not a long time but BPD relationships move very quickly and get intense. 3 month is like 3 years with these things. Anyway man im done complaining. Ima stop posting about this.

JohnyTheArrow said:

You need support ... some crazy chick wont make you BJ ...
YES, LIFE WILL END, LET ME HUG YOU,YOU POOR THING .

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Bro no body forced you to comment on this post. You clicked it. You saw the title. Thats lame man. Its like when people make racist comments on porn videos. JUST DONT WATCH IT.
Anyways man i dont know if you have ever been involved with a BPD becuz you dont sound like you have. If you had experienced one then you would know that this can really mess with a guys head. I know you are prob just giving me tough love but chill.

Pandora said:

Then out of no where 20 mins before we were supposed to leave she flakes and says " can you go alone". She then starts with the excuses like "i have nothing to wear and something came up".

This infuriated me. My friends made dinner specifically for her picky tastes. They were depending on me keeping my word to them. This was extremely embarrassing for me. How could i explain to them why i am coming alone to the dinner? I flip out on my girl over the phone and end things. I told her to lose my number and that its done because of this.

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Wow man! I could see being a little ticked off but this is pretty wacky behaviour too. She's probably thinking you have mental issues.

I would say sorry to my friends. "Sorry guys my GF is a wackjob. I'm basically using her for sex and it isn't going to last long. I'll make it up to you guys I promise." No biggie there.

As for your own emotional state. Sack up brother. You gotta be tougher than this if you are playing choosing to play with fire. Live and learn.

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:

You missed this part:My emotions came to a boiling point because of all of the other BPD crap i had to deal with that whole month. The constant jealousy, moodiness and insecurity.

Anyone who's dealt with BPD gets it.

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I get it. I wish I didn't, but I do. These girls will literally make your head spin. Keep your head up OP, you're better off without this chick.

Pandora said:

I know the answer to this. I just need some support because breaking it off is hard. Very hard. Especially when she is hot. I can get other girls but prob not this hot for a while.

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Looking for sympathy? A "hot" chick is worth being used and abused? Use your head here for a minute and not your small head. Why should you go through sh1t on the account you think she is "hot" fearing you can't replicate her? Sounds like you have low self esteem and don't value yourself. BPD's will use average looking beta men to build them up and tear them down. Men of that nature are easy to dispose of. Don't be a tampon to a chick that can dispose you in the trash. Be a man who is control of himself and not the BPD controlling you. Why can't you get "hot" girls for a while?

Go date more women ...
It will take time to build yourself back but it won't happen if you don't go trough more experience and experience some success ...

In 2 years you won't be able to indentify with those feeling you are experiencing now ... So why waste your time now.

This girl if BDP/HPD is a big loser she will go from **** to **** her whole life never being satisfied inside. She might have won over you but trust me she is the real looser at life...
So stop loosing time and go meet girls that will add value to your life !

Pandora said:

Bro no body forced you to comment on this post. You clicked it. You saw the title. Thats lame man. Its like when people make racist comments on porn videos. JUST DONT WATCH IT.
Anyways man i dont know if you have ever been involved with a BPD becuz you dont sound like you have. If you had experienced one then you would know that this can really mess with a guys head. I know you are prob just giving me tough love but chill.

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You have pvssy between your legs if you need mental 'support' for such things.
Some random bytch you only know for 60 days decided not to be your submissive slave so you lost temper, dumped her and regret losing your BJ machine.My support advice is 'get a life' or get theraphist.

I think this poor girl will be better without you, you are the BDP one.