Two months rest from women and sex here is the results

I have decided to take some rest from all the forums of relationship and sexual desires for a couple of months , and that to be able to know my self better and here is some interesting results :

Good things :
1- I have more self respect and self esteem and feel I am more valuable person .
2- I stopped all my desires and didnt even watch any hot scenes on TV or internet and that give me more inner power .
3- I didnt get rejected by any woman because I didn't approach any one, and that make me feel very good and I wish I have no need to approach a woman in future.
4- My true personality (analytical , mentalist ) become coming back to me and I started reading books and doing some interesting things I have abandoned when I was looking for a gf .

The bad things :
1- I feel lonely and want to have companionship .
2- I like to have family and I know without woman I ll not have a chance to have kids so no approaching is also mean no chance to have a family.

So in short no approching policy helped me to get healed from all my emotional wounds that I had because of the rejections I was getting . but also I know I am getting older and I want to start my family .

Your thoughts guys ?

Healing is good and taking some time out is needed. Sometimes we need to be alone with ourselves to figure stuff out.

You need to have the courage to start seeing people again. Not approaching means you still have a fear of rejection- this is the main problem you need to rectify.

If you have more self esteem then approaching women shouldn't be an issue.

I'm kind of in the same boat but I am operating on the basis of "I will interact and date if the opportunity arises and it doesn't interfere with my work and fitness goals" I figured on this basis I continue to raise my smv continually, so as I follow this strategy, the dates will come easier.

being honest, 3 months of graft in the gym, attention to style and grooming and building esteem through work with no effort to game women will bear more fruit than 3 months trying to game women. It's attractiveness which is my issue, not lack of effort.

Came to this conclusion partly because of good advice from upstanding dj, but also thinking of some of the fat ugly girls approaching me online. The effort they put in to their messages..., I was thinking - lady: don't put effort in to your message. change your lifestyle, drop 40 pounds, do your hair, show off your figure. Time wasted on me is time wasted on yourself. I might date you if you did this.

Applied this logic back to me. I was thinking you just have what you have, but some of these girls could be hot -ish if they were fit and healthy. Or at least I'd give them a chance.

Well 5/6 months off. Paid big chunk of mortgage. Fixed lot of issues with my old house. Learned to ride and bought a mbike. Lost 10 kg. Minimal social life basically few friends and sports. And got my contract renewal at work. Nearly saved enough to buy another property. And of course spent too much time on SS ;-) Nothing wrong with feeding yr purpose. BUT I think a lot of chicks would regard this as bread n butter. Jam on top is social skills. So.....I d still suggest flirting with every girl u run across in daily life. Otherwise u ll have a painful rusty spell when u return to the arena.

I've been doing the same over the past month & it's been a very nice break. There's no drama in my life & my time is my own.

If you have more self esteem then approaching women shouldn't be an issue.

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How can I pactivally increase my selfesteem , I have read many books , most refer to self esteem issue but offer no practical solutions .

evan12 said:

How can I pactivally increase my selfesteem , I have read many books , most refer to self esteem issue but offer no practical solutions .

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Its not about reading. It's about being.

You have to be HAPPY with yourself, strong in your confidence. This doesn't come overnight.

Once you have that unshakable faith in yourself- nothing can shake you.

Just fyi, I have recently started weight training. I've been pretty low for 2 years following divorce. 8 months depressed.

Just did leg day and the whoosh of hormones is incredible. My problems are minimised. I can take on the world. If your not already, hit some weights, it's an incredible boost to confidence. If you mind isn't doing it, let your hormones do it for you.

evan12 said:

How can I pactivally increase my selfesteem , I have read many books , most refer to self esteem issue but offer no practical solutions .

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Finding a good sex partner can really help. Find someone who respects you and likes spending time with you. The sex sessions therapeutic. Sex kills stress and builds confidence.

evan12 said:

How can I pactivally increase my selfesteem , I have read many books , most refer to self esteem issue but offer no practical solutions .

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Well, I'm of the camp that you can't build self-esteem or confidence, by standing in front of a mirror and repeating positive affirmations all day, I believe you build confidence in a particular area by being consistently SUCCESSFUL within it.

So I believe that Success breeds True Confidence.

With that being said, I don't believe that Success in one particular category translates into confidence within another category. Too often you hear guys on this forum tell you that in order to increase your "confidence" with women, you should go hit the gym and make more money, BOTH of which are good, but you aren't truly going to increase your confidence with women until you are having SUCCESS with women. Success with women is subjective, but I think it's universal that a guy would consider himself successful with women if he can get a consistent amount of new dates, new pvssy, and has a current good amount of dates/pvssy on rotation.

Success with women is NOT just about money and working out, it's an integrated system where you need to be at least a "7" in each one of these categories:

- Looks

- Money

- Personality

Looks includes your external appearance, your smell, how your body looks, how your teeth looks, the color of your eyes, etc. Women for the most part (not all of them, but for the most part) should look at you without you saying ANYTHING and should say, "Hmmm...he's cute, or he's attractive."

Money includes your current management of your Career, Education, your Residence, and your Car. When a woman looks at you on "paper," they should for the most part (not all of them, but for the most part) say, "Hmmm...he looks like he has his shyt together."

Personality includes your conversation skills, your level of comfort being around women (this comes only through being around them all the time), your charm, your ability to be c0cky/funny, your ability to turn a woman on through conversation (more subtle at first and then leading to overt), your ability to handle shyt tests, your ability to handle the majority of social situations with SMOOTH, etc.

You want to be a 7 out of 10, or at least a 6 out of 10 collectively with all of these categories. ONCE you are there, THEN you will see Success with women.

So guys telling you to just workout and focus on money, without telling you anything about fixing your Personality, will just have you at a 6 in Looks, maybe a 6 in Money, but still a 3 in Personality which collectively is only a 5 and would still likely hurt your overall Success standing with women. The only way you can stay a 3 in Personality and have success with women, is if you are a damn 8 in Looks and 8 in Money, which for most guys (Looks at least) is pretty hard to attain because genetics come into play.

A big part of getting to a 6 or 7 in Personality is being comfortable around women and seducing women, and you can't get comfortable unless you are DOING it all the time. If you withdraw totally out of the market, you might become awkward around them again.

I was on an 8 month break while finishing up my divorce and dealing with some other 5hit that's been keeping me down. I still ended up getting laid, but I didn't put any effort into that one.

Divorce is finished and I'm back into the dating scene.

Just fyi, I have recently started weight training. I've been pretty low for 2 years following divorce. 8 months depressed.

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It really takes a while to come back from it. Not sure what your situation was, but if you're adding heartbreak to it all, that can be tough to bounce back from. I was over my ex-wife when I ended the marriage. Things went uphill immediately following the split. When I got hit with the divorce and the kind of money she wanted, it's like I fell off a bridge with a giant boulder tied to me. When there was a "break" in the divorce, I bounced back a bit again, only to be thrown back off the bridge.

My divorce has been final for a couple of months now, but it's still hard to bounce back. It takes time. I'm giving myself a year to bounce back to the upbeat, positive individual I was 5 years ago.

Desdinova said:

I was on an 8 month break while finishing up my divorce and dealing with some other 5hit that's been keeping me down. I still ended up getting laid, but I didn't put any effort into that one.

Divorce is finished and I'm back into the dating scene.



It really takes a while to come back from it. Not sure what your situation was, but if you're adding heartbreak to it all, that can be tough to bounce back from. I was over my ex-wife when I ended the marriage. Things went uphill immediately following the split. When I got hit with the divorce and the kind of money she wanted, it's like I fell off a bridge with a giant boulder tied to me. When there was a "break" in the divorce, I bounced back a bit again, only to be thrown back off the bridge.

My divorce has been final for a couple of months now, but it's still hard to bounce back. It takes time. I'm giving myself a year to bounce back to the upbeat, positive individual I was 5 years ago.

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Whatever the fvck you do: train. You will deal with everything better. If I'd done that, bye bye depression. Train and train. You handle problems better, you look better, everything is better. Period. You always have 30 mins per day. I made excuses for 2 years. Try getting in the dating scene overweight, tired and negative. for the love of god, don't do what I did. Train, please! It's the one thing that never cheats on you, the one thing the economy can't fvck up, the one thing to hold on to whilst Rome burns around you. even if it's burpees, sit ups etc. It's a magic bullet to depression, the first week is tough to maintain, but stick with it.

I also ditched my woman, I've bailed her out 2 times on rent, still no final divorce. Just waiting. It's annoying.

I was abusing drugs, drinking, all over the place for 2 years. The only things that worked for me are: attention to diet, attention to being organised and tidy - tidy flat, tidy car, tidy appearance and attention to fitness. these 3 things consume all my time, dont think, just do. I know it's hard work. Oh, and check out Alan Watts on YouTube, spiritual growth helps. The world is not always as it seems.

Espi said:

I just never personally understood this mentality of needing to take a break or healing from women. What's there to heal from?

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When I get "hurt" by a woman, my immediate desire is to go out there and find a new one. However, when I get burned by a woman, I need to take a break to avoid hating all women.

There isn't anything much more infuriating than thinking you found a decent woman only to find out she's a closet wh0re. It's on par with having your best friend lie or steal from you.

If you're just out there to have sex, then you don't experience any of this because you don't allow yourself to become emotionally bonded with a woman.

I personally think that most guys do this and take a break because they're just frustrated and angry or dissatisfied with the results so it's a good way to discuss stop and take a breather and recollect. I guess it's beneficial in that aspect, but I just don't see the need to be 100 percent or nothing about it.

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I'm guessing you're referring to this from a rejection standpoint. Rejection doesn't bother me. It's part of life. If you keep on putting yourself out there, you'll eventually get something because you're increasing the chances of success.

Taking a break from approaching is taking a break from having success. Taking a break to clear your mind will help groom you for success in the future.

evan12 said:

Good things :
1- I have more self respect and self esteem and feel I am more valuable person .
2- I stopped all my desires and didnt even watch any hot scenes on TV or internet and that give me more inner power .
3- I didnt get rejected by any woman because I didn't approach any one, and that make me feel very good and I wish I have no need to approach a woman in future.
4- My true personality (analytical , mentalist ) become coming back to me and I started reading books and doing some interesting things I have abandoned when I was looking for a gf .

The bad things :
1- I feel lonely and want to have companionship .
2- I like to have family and I know without woman I ll not have a chance to have kids so no approaching is also mean no chance to have a family.

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All you anti-marriage and anti-commitment guys out there - ask yourself why these 2 things never truly go away? Sure, you may suppress them, but they are always there.

Most of that "wanting to have a family" stuff is social conditioning, what exactly IS a family in the first place? Is it a bunch of people around you, or is it people around you that help you grow and develop as a person? Is it people around you that you have to make a shyt load of sacrifices for, or is it people around you that help YOU get to the next level?

What is a family? The guy that was married for 10 years with a wife and 2 kids, with the wife now divorcing him and financially bankrupting the FVCK out of him, while at the same time brainwashing his kids to hate him with the kids sending the guy hate texts/leaving hate voicemails....is that what family is?

Evan being lonely is a state of mind, not an absence of another person.

To me, a family is any group of people that HELP YOU become a better person in some particular area. Most women today are not in your life to HELP you do or build shyt, they are only in your life to TAKE from you. Guys have been socially conditioned to think that a woman "liking them" means they WON something....in every sense of the situation, you really didn't win anything, you just signed up to GIVE her some of your resources (time, money, energy, sperm) while getting very little of hers (time, money, energy and everyday head/pvssy) in return.

Espi said:

I just never personally understood this mentality of needing to take a break or healing from women. What's there to heal from?

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In my case, it was overindulgence I guess you could say. I had three steady plates that all became very clingy and needy and it got tiring...mentally and physically. My gym routine got thrown off bc some days my abs would be on fire after marathon romps with one of them in particular.

Tenacity said:

Most of that "wanting to have a family" stuff is social conditioning

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Is it? We can call anything social conditioning if we want. Doesn't mean it is. There's an element of nature at play here.

Tenacity said:

what exactly IS a family in the first place?

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A family is one of the things that makes us different from animals. We ALL have the natural instinct to want to spread our seed. But it's a family that gives us civilization as we know it. Marriage was essentially a gift from God to allow you to indulge in sexual desires and produce offspring in a controlled manner. You break the family, you break civilization, things go uncontrolled.

Now, society telling you that you are weird for being single....yeah, that's conditioning. If you truly do not wish to have a family and want to be on your own forever, fine. But see, therein lies a dilemma. If you don't support fatherless children running around in an uncontrolled society, how can you justify going out and f*cking a bunch of women? Yeah, yeah, I know we have condoms/birth control/etc., but that's as unnatural as it gets.

speed dawg,

You make a good point about the Natural Order of Things, the only issue is that "natural order" is being manipulated to destroy too many of our lives (as men).

As a result, it's almost as if in order to BEAT the market, you have to go into an unnatural way of operating which is to deny the natural feelings of wanting to provide/protect for a family.

In relation to children running around with no Fathers, it takes two to tangle, but I put that MAINLY on the women than the Men. If you look at a lot of these single mothers, matter of fact I would say most of them, who have children with no Father present in their lives...most of these Fathers are what you would call deadbeats. The guy is broke, doesn't work, no formal education, no networks, no assets, probably with some jail records. WHAT in the blue hell was this chick doing making a baby with this guy?

I believe if a guy makes a kid, it's his responsibility to provide for it, no matter if he meant to make the kid or not. No matter if himself and the woman are still together or not.

But if you look into the market, you find Men who WANT to be Fathers being banned access to their children and raped out of the a.ss with excessive child support.....then on the flip side, you have Men who DO NOT want to be Fathers seemingly getting off free without having to pay for nor deal with any of the stresses of the system.

Tenacity said:

speed dawg,

You make a good point about the Natural Order of Things, the only issue is that "natural order" is being manipulated to destroy too many of our lives (as men).

As a result, it's almost as if in order to BEAT the market, you have to go into an unnatural way of operating which is to deny the natural feelings of wanting to provide/protect for a family.

In relation to children running around with no Fathers, it takes two to tangle, but I put that MAINLY on the women than the Men. If you look at a lot of these single mothers, matter of fact I would say most of them, who have children with no Father present in their lives...most of these Fathers are what you would call deadbeats. The guy is broke, doesn't work, no formal education, no networks, no assets, probably with some jail records. WHAT in the blue hell was this chick doing making a baby with this guy?

I believe if a guy makes a kid, it's his responsibility to provide for it, no matter if he meant to make the kid or not. No matter if himself and the woman are still together or not.

But if you look into the market, you find Men who WANT to be Fathers being banned access to their children and raped out of the a.ss with excessive child support.....then on the flip side, you have Men who DO NOT want to be Fathers seemingly getting off free without having to pay for nor deal with any of the stresses of the system.

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Yeah. My ex wife got two kids outta me then threw child support on me before we divorced. She forced me away and used the system to beat me over the head. I wanted to be a loving supportive father in the house with them, but it was not allowed. Nobody ever told me that men wanted to be there but were forced away.

This is a really good thread with a lot of great posts!

Tenacity had some solid points and really broke down into simple terms where a man should be to easily attract women. I have to agree on pretty much everything there. It's funny, I have many friends who are 7+ in one area, and like a 3 in another, and they just can't get why they are unsuccessful with either attracting, or keeping, quality women.

I'm glad you are getting things together, Fruitbat! You seemed rather pessimistic in your initial posts here.

In regards to taking a break from women, sure, I agree. Everyone needs a break once in a while. Even doing something you love, excessively, will cause burnout and resentment of the activity. Take as long as you need, evan12 - just don't take so long you lose social skills. Remember, you don't always need to ask women out, just flirt with every half-decent one you run into. I have a GF, but damn if I don't hit on every dumb broad I come across, 'cause it keeps me sharp, on the edge, where I gotta be.

As for the marriage and family discussion, has anyone here heard of the Shakers? No, not the Quakers, the Shakers. No? Haven't heard of them, eh. Well, that's because within a few generations they went extinct. They were an American religious sect with several thousand members in the mid 19th century. They had their own villages and businesses and were quite successful in their fields. Still, they went extinct because they practiced celibacy and thus did not pass their beliefs onto future generations.

This is what will happen to any man who does not have children, or adopt them. His ideas, politics and legacy dies, forever.

Yes, marriage and having a family is an endeavor with significant downside risks, but the greatest risk is having some of the best men alive to fight the decline of America eventually die out, and their ideas with them.

If any good DJ should leave this earth without passing his knowledge and wisdom on to his sons, that would be a tragedy, and a win for the marxist-feminists. It's a war, and it will last generations.