Some Questions.....

Yo what's up guys, Im new and I need some advice here....

So there's this girl I have known for well over a year since I went to High School. I have always had a super crush on her and I asked her out twice when I went to high school but she friendzoned me. She ALWAYS gave me mixed signals though, like saying I'm hot and how cute I am and asking embarrassing sexual questions. I kinda screwed up when I asked her out over the phone though- that was about a year ago. Still I have stayed friends, with hopes maybe, maybe things will escalate. I'm in touch with her off and on and I always try to stay in touch with her and call her at least once a month. Her name is Clarissa btw.

Anyways, I called her about a week ago and she invited me to a church picnic. I walked there and she's there with her family. I met her dad before but he was there and started talking to me when she was off getting food. He told me that she talks about me a LOT.... Like hell you'd think I knew him well with the detailed questions he was asking me and stuff. He told me before that she talked about me but I thought he was just saying that lol. But anyways, so he asks if I have a girlfriend and I told him no but I was working on it. He immediately asked "With who?" And I said "with a girl at work". And he was like "Oh I thought you were gonna say Clarissa!" LOLL so he was like "Well the girls at work aren't nearly as fine as Clarissa are they?" And I was like "Naw definitely not." So fast forward to a little later her grandmother comes over and she's like "Oh my granddaughter has told me a lot about you!" I of course told her I hoped they were good things. Anyways, later on her dad starts talking about how he's trying to find his daughter a good boyfriend like this her sister and asked me if I knew anyone.... And I said "Me!" And then he said "But what about that girl at work?" And I was like "Well nothing is official yet."


So questions:

1) WTF does it mean when she's telling her family about me? Is that good? Her whole family really seems to like me.
2) What's your take on her dad talking about finding her a good boyfriend? Was he hinting to me that he is ok with me dating her?

I'm almost definitely going to ask her out again, I just want some insight as to what this stuff means!

Dude come on. This is obvious. SHE TALKS TO HER FAMILY ABOUT YOU! HER DAD WAS CLEARLY HINTING THAT SHE LIKES YOU AND WANTS YOU! ASK HER OUT MAN! Good luck.

You are one lucky guy, i tell ya. Ask her out, and be straightf orward about it. Show her the kind of man you are.

OK, an update guys....


so she invited me to a baseball game with her family.....

So on the way home she was like "Thanks for coming with us John you're a true friend!" And (get this) before I could say anything her dad was like "Well, Clarissa I think he wants to be more than friends with you." And she was like "Well, we're just friends, I've had a lot of good friendships ruined with guys when they became my boyfriend and I dont want to risk that with you." And her dad (seriously WTF dad you are awesome) says "Well he doesn't care if the friendship is ruined, do you?" And I was like "Haha nah I have liked you for so long Clarissa." And she was like "But still...."

Ok so later on when we stopped at a gas station I just asked her dad flat out "Would you mind if I dated your daughter?" And he was like "I'm ok with it but it's up to her, but you better treat her nice if you go out with her!"


NOW what should I do? Seriously this is the weirdest situation I've been in. Her dad is ok with me and really egged me on- practically talked to his daughter for me! I still am blown by that! I seriously like this chick a LOT LOT LOT- she's girlfriend material. But I'm stuck in the friendzone. NOW what? I am so upset about this whole situation.....

So it is clear that she's a Typical Girl as described on SoSuave. She is keeping you as friend because maybe she likes to have lots of boys in her life and want to have attention of all. Either that or she doesn't find you as attractive to be her boyfriend etc, you are not a Challenge to her i.e. she knows she can have you whenever she wants you. And that's why to combat this all members recommend spinning plates. And I have formulated my own rule here : Spin Plates or don't have one at all.

I am very very very much surprised of how supportive his Dad is! Due to that(it is unusual because I haven't read such an interesting story on SoSuave) she might be testing or playing games with you..

But I would suggest to wait for people who have huge infield experience.

I would say to ask her out.

GetBetter said:

So it is clear that she's a Typical Girl as described on SoSuave. She is keeping you as friend because maybe she likes to have lots of boys in her life and want to have attention of all. Either that or she doesn't find you as attractive to be her boyfriend etc, you are not a Challenge to her i.e. she knows she can have you whenever she wants you. And that's why to combat this all members recommend spinning plates. And I have formulated my own rule here : Spin Plates or don't have one at all.

I am very very very much surprised of how supportive his Dad is! Due to that(it is unusual because I haven't read such an interesting story on SoSuave) she might be testing or playing games with you..

But I would suggest to wait for people who have huge infield experience.

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I agree- I am not going to go with her next time if she invites me somewhere. No way. I realized she never initiates anything either- I mean she's invited me to these things but it's only after I hit her up.

She gonna have to text/call me the next time otherwise I'm moving on. Screw friendship I don't need any girls to be my "friends", I have plenty of close guy friends.....

Stop going on "Friend Dates", or you risk being Friendzoned. You're pretty close to that point now.

Man up.

Ask her out, or create some distance to increase her interest level.

If she calls, say "Listen I like you a lot. If you're concerned about losing our friendship, you need to understand that I can't be around you, just as a friend. If you're not interested in going out with an amazing guy, I will have to move on."

Frogster said:

Stop going on "Friend Dates", or you risk being Friendzoned. You're pretty close to that point now.

Man up.

Ask her out, or create some distance to increase her interest level.

If she calls, say "Listen I like you a lot. If you're concerned about losing our friendship, you need to understand that I can't be around you, just as a friend. If you're not interested in going out with an amazing guy, I will have to move on."

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No homo but Frogster you just MADE my day! This is my thoughts exactly, you hit the nail on the head! If I stay friends with her it will only hurt me anyway because I'll always want more.

This is what I will say to her if she calls or texts me- however, knowing how she is the likelihood she will contact me first is close to nil.

Make Her Believe That You Have Options

GetBetter said:

So it is clear that she's a Typical Girl as described on SoSuave. She is keeping you as friend because maybe she likes to have lots of boys in her life and want to have attention of all. Either that or she doesn't find you as attractive to be her boyfriend etc, you are not a Challenge to her i.e. she knows she can have you whenever she wants you. And that's why to combat this all members recommend spinning plates. And I have formulated my own rule here : Spin Plates or don't have one at all.

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I agree with what GetBetter has said and for your own sake, you need to get clarity on this issue. You need to find out if you have a shot with this chick or if you're the centurion in Clarissa's legion of followers and here's how you do it.

The next time y'all are hanging out, you HAVE holla at other chicks in front of her and be sure that the chicks are cuter and hotter than Clarissa. One of two things will happen.

1) She's not going to trip, which essentially means that she has no romantic interest in you and you're firmly entrenched in Clarissa's friend zone. If that's the case, you're going to have to decide on whether or not you want to continue on with this "friendship."

2) She'll feel some kinda way about you trying to talk to other girls in front of her, to which you respond with. "But we're FRIENDS. When I'm out with my homies, that what we do, try to get with girls. Being that we're FRIENDS and you DON'T LIKE ME LIKE THAT, why would you care I'm hollerin' at other chicks? Unless of course, you're an attention wh*re. Be careful in your tonality when you say "attention *****." It should be said playfully with a touch of sarcasm and sly smile on your face. This response will probably leave her dumbstruck, however BE WARNED! If she decides to holler at other dudes, you can't get jealous.

GetBetter said:

you are not a Challenge to her i.e. she knows she can have you whenever she wants you.

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Here in lies your problem. You're going to have to slowly withdraw your attention from this chick. Instead of kicking all day, kick it for about an hour, then a half around. Be a little tardy in returning texts and some shouldn't be returned at all,) Turn down the opportunity to hang out, if she asks, "Why?" Imply that you're going on a date, if she press for an answer, tell her you're going on a date, even if it's not true. I'm not an advocate of lying to chicks, but sometimes when playing The Game, you'll have to engage in a little subterfuge to achieve your objective. You need to have this chick believing that other chicks find you attractive and she stands a real chance of losing you, (that is until you can get plates spinning,) Good luck

I think Maximus Rex's advice is a little dangerous at this stage. I guess it depends upon how you play it.

You're not in a relationship yet, or haven't even started dating, so doing this in front of the girl has the potential of pissing her off to the point of not dating you. So it's risky.

I DO agree that you need to demonstrate interest in other women, and also have them show interest in you. Maybe not so blatantly in her face as Max's recommendataion.

At least that's how I read it. Be smooth about it.

At this point, I say drop her. You've already asked her out before, and she's turned you down. She's given you the, "let's just be friends" speech. Why keep her around? It'll only hurt more, if you do. Maybe she has been talking about you to her family, but I think they've just been misinterpreting her feelings for you.

While they can see you're a great guy, she seems like she doesn't have any real interest in you. It'll feel weird after dropping her, because you've invested so much time into her, but it's the right choice.