Mid 20's Crisis

I'm sure i'm not the only on experiencing this by any means. But currently i'm in a huge post-college rut. I'm not where I want to be in life and I have no idea which direction I want to take. My degree is what amounts to a film degree, and it's not a realistic career path.

There is almost no chance of making a healthy living off of it, and i'm not sure it's what i want to do with my life. Self esteem and motivation is super low. Right now i'm just working at a restaurant trying to clear my college loans and get my finances in order...maybe try to save up $5,000-10,000 and then figure out what i really want to do with my life and pursue that.

Just at a very strange place in my life both professionally and personally. The fact that dozens of my friends are getting married around me makes me even more uneasy. I have no desire to marry or even get into any thing serious. It also doesn't help that I come from a family in which most of my cousins are becoming doctors and lawyers. My brother is going to med school. It seems like everyone around me is becoming successful and i'm not. Now i know that social media has a lot to do with this, and people on FB post a lot of stuff to make them look more successful than they really are.

Been throwing the idea around of going into something like real estate or just something else random..

Anyone feel similar? Especially guys in their 30's who went through this and came out on top...some motivation and advice would be very helpful.

My only advice I got to you is You Get What You Allow.

You pretty much have a pointless degree but there are millions of different ways to make money. But it all depends on what type of stuff your into and want to do. If you want it bad enough I am sure you will find a way.

Working at a restaurant is not going to pay your bills and give you enough money to save to do other things. I suggest starting out by writing down goals of where you want to be.

In EXACTLY the same place as you mate. Drives me insane some days but just plodding along at the moment.

Im also trying to save a bit but failing miserably. Keep booking holidays.

Im my own worst enemy.

Went through this exact same thing when I was your age - it sucks, haha.

I was also in a similar position as yourself. I'd come out of university with a degree that didn't really mean that much and took a job in the city, working in IT for some company. At the time I really wasn't passionate about the work and also had this hope in the back of my mind that something would just come along in my life and rescue me from the situation.

It didn't.

Funnily enough it was a girl that shook me out of it all. Basically I was cruising along in this job I didn't really care about and I met this girl through a friend of a friend. It started off well but I messed up my opportunity and she ended up going back to her boyfriend. Well that whole incident really really pissed me off so I was determined to make something of myself and show her what she missed out on.

Basically I shook off the idea of 'something will come along and save me' and just took control of the situation. I started studying for some certifications in IT and after passing those, looked for a new job. I also used all of my spare time to read/study and try an educate myself on things that interested me (ie. managing my money, investing etc). A couple of years later, after feeling I'd learned as much as I could from that job (which was a tonne), I decided to set up my own company. I've been doing that ever since and there's been no looking back.

I didn't know at the time what I wanted to do exactly, I just figured I might as well try working hard in one field and see how it pans out. Funnily enough, as I learnt more and became more skilled I started enjoying the work more.

The point I'm trying to make (and I wish I knew this at the time) is that there is nobody who's going to be able to tell you what to do with your life - that's the beauty of it.. you can do whatever your heart desires. Also don't feel you have to have it all figured out at your age. Looking back, I really think your 20s are for figuring out what you want to do. Don't be scared to try something new out. Even if it all goes wrong you've still got time to bounce back. Case in point: my best buddy switched careers three times during his twenties. He's in his 30s now and he's finally found something he really wants to do and he's getting pretty successful at it. He's actually overtaken guys in the company that have been doing the same job ever since they've graduated..

If I was in your position again I'd try and have a real think about what I enjoy doing and what I'd like to do for a career.. then start working towards that goal. It doesn't matter if it doesn't work out, at least you'll have given it a shot. You'll then be in a better position to work out what you do what to do.

If you've got the funds/time I'd say go travel for a bit. It sounds cliché but it will broaden your horizons. I've also met so many people on my travels that have worked in certain areas I've been interested in that have given me valuable advice.

Good luck man and PM me if you got any questions - I know how much having a quarter life crisis sucks

I did a lot of things when I was in my 20s. Sold cars, bouncer, construction, taxi driver, real estate, etc.

The vast majority of people in their 20s, including those getting married and starting families, have not idea what they're going to be doing in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. I didn't, and judging by my friends' trajectories, they didn't either.

At your age lack of focus could mean something bad but it could also be a sign of a restless mind of many interests. Brilliant people have this trait. Successful people have this trait. They harness their curiosity as they get older and get more "serious." This after they've traveled, drank, fvcked, and lived. Do a little living (spelled L-I-V-I-N) and the mind has a way of working these things out.

gravityeyelids said:

I'm sure i'm not the only on experiencing this by any means. But currently i'm in a huge post-college rut. I'm not where I want to be in life and I have no idea which direction I want to take. My degree is what amounts to a film degree, and it's not a realistic career path.

There is almost no chance of making a healthy living off of it, and i'm not sure it's what i want to do with my life. Self esteem and motivation is super low. Right now i'm just working at a restaurant trying to clear my college loans and get my finances in order...maybe try to save up $5,000-10,000 and then figure out what i really want to do with my life and pursue that.

Just at a very strange place in my life both professionally and personally. The fact that dozens of my friends are getting married around me makes me even more uneasy. I have no desire to marry or even get into any thing serious. It also doesn't help that I come from a family in which most of my cousins are becoming doctors and lawyers. My brother is going to med school. It seems like everyone around me is becoming successful and i'm not. Now i know that social media has a lot to do with this, and people on FB post a lot of stuff to make them look more successful than they really are.

Been throwing the idea around of going into something like real estate or just something else random..

Anyone feel similar? Especially guys in their 30's who went through this and came out on top...some motivation and advice would be very helpful.

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Everyone moves at their own pace in life, you are no exception. If you do not like where you are at, you are NEVER too old to do something about it (especially at 24 brotha! ).

Do some exploring, save money, open yourself up to different job types and see what happens. Experience more!

FairShake said:

I did a lot of things when I was in my 20s. Sold cars, bouncer, construction, taxi driver, real estate, etc.

The vast majority of people in their 20s, including those getting married and starting families, have not idea what they're going to be doing in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. I didn't, and judging by my friends' trajectories, they didn't either.

At your age lack of focus could mean something bad but it could also be a sign of a restless mind of many interests. Brilliant people have this trait. Successful people have this trait. They harness their curiosity as they get older and get more "serious." This after they've traveled, drank, fvcked, and lived. Do a little living (spelled L-I-V-I-N) and the mind has a way of working these things out.

Click to expand...

I'm in the same position as Gravity except i'm 31 ... I've got a degree in design, but never pursued it after university.. In my 20's I had a few jobs, started an online retail business with my dad for 4 years that did really well and made good money, but had to close it because of family issues and relationship with my dad turned ugly. Went through a tough time and blew a lot of money on a woman (sad I know) and other stupid stuff. Then I started a sales job and at first thought it was great. Got promotions and slowly started to realise that the corporate life just isn't me and neither was ripping off customers. I think the corporate world tends to take the masculinity out of a man.

Now i'm without a job and trying to figure out what I want to do. I know what ever I do I want to earn an ok salary and do something creative or a mans job - like construction or carpentry. Unfortunately I have no career ideas that I feel passionate/sure about.... I'm scared of choosing a path and in a few years down the line realising again I'm not happy in my role when I have even less time left to figure out a career.

It would be great to do some travelling to figure this all out but I'm pretty broke and at 31, again, I'm not sure if I have time to travel and figure things out...

So anyway, I feel your pain Gravity!

switch7 said:

I'm in the same position as Gravity except i'm 31 ... I've got a degree in design, but never pursued it after university.. In my 20's I had a few jobs, started an online retail business with my dad for 4 years that did really well and made good money, but had to close it because of family issues and relationship with my dad turned ugly. Went through a tough time and blew a lot of money on a woman (sad I know) and other stupid stuff. Then I started a sales job and at first thought it was great. Got promotions and slowly started to realise that the corporate life just isn't me and neither was ripping off customers. I think the corporate world tends to take the masculinity out of a man.

Now i'm without a job and trying to figure out what I want to do. I know what ever I do I want to earn an ok salary and do something creative or a mans job - like construction or carpentry. Unfortunately I have no career ideas that I feel passionate/sure about.... I'm scared of choosing a path and in a few years down the line realising again I'm not happy in my role when I have even less time left to figure out a career.

It would be great to do some travelling to figure this all out but I'm pretty broke and at 31, again, I'm not sure if I have time to travel and figure things out...

So anyway, I feel your pain Gravity!

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Man, at least you've tried. You may view your experiences in a bad light but think about it this way: You've experienced a few different jobs and at least know which ones you don't want to do. Think of the guys who spend their lives doing ****ty jobs they hate and never escape from it..

I realise your confidence is knocked a bit - I'm sure anyone's would be in the same situation but at least you have an idea of where you want to go. Is there any way you can look into getting an apprenticeship as a carpenter or find some way into engineering? And btw I don't think anyone is ever completely sure about what career they want to get involved in. All you can do is go after what takes your fancy and then take it from there.

Like I mentioned in my earlier post, one of my best friends had to hop around multiple jobs before he truly found something he wanted. There'll definitely be something out there - it might just take a little searching to find out what it is.

Oh and you always have time to travel. The hard part is getting the money together, haha.