Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

I'm going to make it. My story.

LearningSlowly

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Hey guys. I won't waste time with too long an introduction, but this is who I am.

I'm 18, and I've been interested in Pick Up for about 3 months. I believe I'm in it for the right reasons, but only went about it in half the right way. I read a book called the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle that sums up the zen tradition, and the changes I've made in my life based on that book have helped me tap into the natural inside.

Unfortunately, I found another forum, read WAY too much, and got addicting to posting as though I knew anything. I'm a senior in high school and get laid occasionally, but by no means enough to be throwing around advice. I realized today that I need practice. Hard work will take me further than going to school every day and trying run my new friendships.

Also, I should explain that. I go to a small, private high school, with about 400 kids. I'm an art kid, and kept to myself in the art room for the past two years, after spending the first year with the losers. I'm really good at art, but I don't have many friends, and I'm slowly pulling myself out of a ditch. I know my social worth, and other people see it too, but friendships are really established at this stage.

I know I'll make it, but I need to meet more people and get out. I'm 18 now, no excuses not to go to clubs and concerts. I'm going to Germany this coming week, this will be my practice week for night game before going to an electronic music concert next weekend.

I've made lifestyle changes, and you'll see as I post more that I have self improvement in mind, but enough talking, it's time for me to step up and get out there. I won't be reading through and giving advice in other threads, I've had enough of being a wannabe. Time to get to work.
 

NorwegianDJ

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You seem like a cool guy.
I wanna emphasize that there is nothing wrong with reading this stuff and giving advice; as long as you're taking action towards becoming better yourself and better with women. I've also read the power of now and A new earth. I enjoyed the latter one the most, but both are great books. I'd recommend you Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins.
 

LearningSlowly

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Preciate the response. I'll take a look at the book.

I'm still a little inebriated, but here's my FR from tonight.

I had an all night flight into Berlin, coming down at 8 am this morning. There is so much fashion here. I have been working on my own sense of fashion and I can put together outfits now, but I don't have anything close to the wardrobe these people have.

I don't expect to have much day game here, I'm traveling with my parents and am with them during the day, but I went out tonight and here's my experience. I was first with my sister (she's studying abroad) and her roommates, one male, one female. We drank together before the night, and I was a little shy to start. Once I got some alcohol in me, I started talking, and took an interest in the female roommate particularly. She seemed to like me and that went well. We eventually left for a bar, which was packed. Their two friends met us at the place and we all chatted outside for a while. After that, though, they stayed inside and me, my sister and the male roommate talked outside. Nothing special.

Both roommates, my sister and I got together and went off to this club. There they told me a really unfortunate fact about life in Berlin. People are very private. They don't want to talk to strangers and don't want to be picked up in clubs. I tried to dance with one girl (I'm a very good dancer, I've been working on it for a few months) and she brushed me off. I was told by the male roommate, "This isn't a good place to meet people" and that seemed to be an unfortunate truth. The only talkative person I met spontaneously tonight was an Australian tourist, who was friendly, and had a very cute girl on his arm.

I instead focused on my sister's female roommate. We had a really strong connection and I know she felt it. The trouble here is that I'm a skinny guy, and it's hard to present myself otherwise through my clothing. Even so, I know I'll be seeing her through this coming week. Both she and the guy loved me, and I got hugs as a goodbye.

Does anyone have tips for pick up in Berlin? Or in private cultures in general? This is practice for me, I can handle being rejected, at the concert next weekend I'm sure I will have better luck. Also I plan on gaming the female roommate a little. If I can get a make out I'll be happy.
 

NorwegianDJ

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I've never felt that fashion and clothes are important, as long as you don't dress weirdly. Also, how do you know that everyone there are very private? Just because these 2 people told you? That is a very broad generalization. I'd say that they are probably not private. For that girl, remember that you have to lead; you cant expect her to kiss you.
 

LearningSlowly

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NorwegianDJ said:
I've never felt that fashion and clothes are important, as long as you don't dress weirdly. Also, how do you know that everyone there are very private? Just because these 2 people told you? That is a very broad generalization. I'd say that they are probably not private. For that girl, remember that you have to lead; you cant expect her to kiss you.
I personally feel that fashion is very important, especially here in Germany. Present yourself the best possible way, anything less is LAZY. There is no reason not to understand fashion and how you should work your appearance, except that you are too LAZY to figure it out. Laziness is not a factor for me.

And yes, it is a broad generalization. I have no intention to follow it blindly, as you'll see after tonight and in the coming days.

And yes, finally, I completely agree. Being a leader is everything to pick up. If you can lead a group, you will be talking to the most attractive girl. If you can lead her, you will sleep with her.

Here's my night tonight, it's a doozie. My sister and I began with a trip to a beer hall with a friend in her program. I'll need to bring names into this post, so I'll call her Sarah. Sarah is cute, maybe a 6-7, but definitely an introvert. The first interaction of the night for me is always a warm up, so I didn't make a fantastic first impression, but still came off as confident and able to talk. We had a decent, casual, intellectual talk over a few beers then left for a bar/club (small).

The place was cozy with good, electro-jazz music. We met Emma, my sister's roommate, Simon and Anthony, their gay friends, Michael, my sister's male roommate, and Emily, an 8 that they're also friends with. I was shy to get going, but warmed up as the night continued.

We talked a lot, I became friendly with Simon and Anthony easily. Emma was sweet, occasionally as flirty as she had been, but I didn't press like I could have. She had already planned to meet a guy they referred to as "Boston" at the place and I was hesitant to advance (no excuse, I know). Emily I met last night, and she remained distant. I had little opportunity to go anywhere with her.

But on to the good news. After a few drinks, I was ON. "Boston" showed up, his name is Ben, and he brought two friends, Patrick and a guy who was too wasted to really participate socially. Patrick was clearly a follower, he bought me a drink at one point, but a decent guy. He laid claim to Emily, but was unsuccessful in the end. Ben has social prowess, but when we took it to the dance floor (feels like home to me) he had one move and really couldn't compete. A little later he was sucking up to me, trying to "teach" me how to pick up German girls. I never mind some advice from a natural, so I let him, and allowing him to be on top I think will help any future winging.

We met a girl there (well, the gays did) named Frankie. She was sweet and cute as ****, (HB8) and I had a great, short conversation with her. After a moment, I did a takeaway, but had a hard time reopening. Once we got dancing, we were flirty, I had some good moments with her, but she tended to pull away (my sister later commented that I shouldn't have grinded with her, it is against German custom. Maybe that's why she maintained physical distance). She and the gays left halfway through the night.

I settled down on a couch with Sarah. Other people talked around us, but I played fantastic comfort game (my advice here: the key is to listen, but also to have strong life philosophies. Philosophies can apply to almost any situation, so if you have some, and believe them, they are a valuable tool). Attraction was there. I could touch her very comfortably, and did often. She speaks great German, so when I opened one guy, she tried to translate. Turns out he was Greek, and spoke better English than German, so it worked itself out. Good guy. Two girls (one 9, one 6) were going to put their coats down behind my couch, and I told them in English that I could protect them. Sarah translated, and I high fived both of them.

As the night continued, Sarah and I got really close, as Michael tried to hit on everyone, unsuccessfully, and Patrick tried futilely for Emily. Sarah's BT was so high, I was so close to kiss closing, but two factors prevented it. One, Michael jumped in to steal my set. I was unreactive, and let her own disinterest be a DLV for him. Another, while we were dancing, I reached out to touch Sarah, and my sister ****blocked me, really badly. She clearly stated that I couldn't touch her. She walked away a moment later, and the flirting was back on, but the kiss-moment was gone.

Just before I left, the two German girls who had left their coats came back to get them. As they took them, I gave a thumbs up, and a "Gute nacht" (not sure about spelling, thats the pronunciation). The 9 smiled, and leaned in close to me, and said "It was fun... the music was kind of ****." I burst out "You speak English??" (she spoke a little) and I had a momentary fun and flirty exchange with both girls, lots of touching in those moments. Sarah was clearly jealous, which I don't mind. I'll be seeing her again soon.

I took a train back with my sister and Emily, both like me more after the trip, I was very confident. I learned that Sarah has a boyfriend at home, and a guy here, but signs of attraction are unmistakeable. I will at least kiss close this week, I promise you all.

If anyone has openers for people who don't speak the same language, or speak English badly, PLEASE! I'd love them. Good night! Gute nacht!
 

LearningSlowly

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Hey guys! Next-day, SOBER, follow-up post! Had to clarify a little, and correct the way I presented myself. Also, my posts are long and definitely a journal for me, a way to get concrete thoughts written down. If you have to skim, I don't mind, if you skip entire paragraphs or posts, also fine. Let me know if you want me to talk more or less about anything!

I'm not quite that ****y in real life, don't get a bad impression. I'm learning, just like anyone else, but when I'm in state I feel confident and dominant, and write that way. I can't say that Ben was "sucking up" to me, but it was clear that he respected me as someone with some social skill, and I really appreciated that recognition.

With Frankie, I just may not be the kind of guy she was looking for. She happily met the gay guys, and was focused on them through the night, maybe she was just looking to have fun and dance. Also I'm so skinny, 6 feet exactly, slightly high pitched voice, and not particularly attractive. I don't allow any of these to hold me back, or use them as excuses, that's how I look so I work with that, but my initial conversation with Frankie wasn't long enough to overcome those initial factors. Also when I felt her slipping away we were on the dance floor, and I was clearly in the "chase" position. I hate being there, but I used to eject prematurely, this time I forced myself to stay in. Even if it was the wrong decision to make at the time, I'm glad I did, it'll pay off in the future.

Typo on talking to the German girls. "...protect their bags" not the girls themselves.

I think my sister is uncomfortable seeing me with girls. I'm her little brother, so she wants to keep me away from them, her friends particularly. We'll see how this develops as the week goes on, but I think I'll have to get to work on more random sets.

I'd love some new responses. NorwegianDJ, you're the man. I won't be posting much around the forum, as a conscious decision (talked about earlier), but I'd still really like to get to know you guys! Anyone in Berlin or Atlanta, send me a message! Anyone who likes my style (I haven't posted many specifics of what I say yet, I'll be doing more of that) or thinks I could benefit from theirs, I'd love to hear it!
 

Rhino

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The whole different culture thing is pretty fascinating to me. I've always wanted to visit somewhere else, whether in Europe, Asia, whatever...I think it'd be awesome. I do understand the whole privacy thing, I remember hearing that in France making eye contact with someone is considered creepy as hell...I dunno it's just strange. So it doesn't surprise me that grinding is strange to them. I remember my first dance was a homecoming dance and it surprised me how you could just get behind a girl and they would immediately shove their ass onto you if you knew them at all...it's kind of primitive. No complaints here though.

Welcome to the board, by the way. I'm a senior in hs too and I have the same mentality as you...used to be geeky, trying to jump into already-established friendships...never been laid though. meh, no huge rush; I'm enjoying myself.
 

LearningSlowly

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Rhino said:
The whole different culture thing is pretty fascinating to me. I've always wanted to visit somewhere else, whether in Europe, Asia, whatever...I think it'd be awesome. I do understand the whole privacy thing, I remember hearing that in France making eye contact with someone is considered creepy as hell...I dunno it's just strange. So it doesn't surprise me that grinding is strange to them. I remember my first dance was a homecoming dance and it surprised me how you could just get behind a girl and they would immediately shove their ass onto you if you knew them at all...it's kind of primitive. No complaints here though.

Welcome to the board, by the way. I'm a senior in hs too and I have the same mentality as you...used to be geeky, trying to jump into already-established friendships...never been laid though. meh, no huge rush; I'm enjoying myself.
I'm watching BBC (it's the only English channel) so CHEERS! Too excited for college but I'm trying not to think about it too much, best to work hard in the moment so I'll be ready for the future.

Tonight will probably be the last night I go out to a club in Berlin, it's my sister's 21st birthday. Basic game plan: Get in, have fun with her friends for a little while, try to meet as many Berliners as possible then see what happens! I might try to turn grinding into a bit of a routine, "Americans are a lot more fun than people here" then "Let me show you how we dance ;)"

Not going to plan too much though, that'll always throw me off. Thanks for the response, looking forward to your feedback/advice!
 

LearningSlowly

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Ugh sorry guys. Bad news to report. Unsuccessful night.

We first went out to dinner with my parents, sister and Emma at an amazing restaurant. Food was so good. Had wine with dinner, vodka tonic after, I love the drinking age here. There's a club downstairs so we got free entrance after dinner.

I had a red bull as soon as we got down, so I was ready to go. The club was still quiet though, especially in the main room (playing house music). We switched to a smaller room which played more hip hop, and we loved the feel. Both my sister and Emma were less than energetic though, and I felt glued to them. They would have noticed so easily if I had opened sets, and I felt uncomfortable doing it. (PERFECT sets were available though. Two 9's with an overweight guy who couldn't dance. Can't do any better.) We had expected their friends to join us but none did, talking to new people would have gotten me in a much better mood to verbally open.

Instead, I danced my ass off. Gave props to a hugely muscular black guy also working the dance floor and he shook my hand and fist bumped me. I loved that he and I were owning the room, I'm a skinny little white kid, great combination. One positive happened, though. A girl, HB6, with her 9 friend, motioned to me that my dancing was good, and gave me a smile and fun, two handed point (gun style). I motioned for her to come dance with me, and toned my dancing down to be less intimidating. She didn't approach though. In hindsight, I should have walked up and introduced myself to her friend, ignoring her as a joke. Oh well. At least I know I'm being noticed. We left the club very soon after that, around 2am, my sister and Emma were tired. Not my best night. I'll do better.

Walked around Berlin today, now I'm at my sister's study-abroad center. Met her friends and made a good impression, I think. Sarah was giving me many IOIs but there isn't much I can do about it. I leave for home tomorrow morning, two-day concert on Friday and Saturday, hopefully those will give you something interesting to read.
 

LearningSlowly

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Alright guys. I have enough to write about this time that I'll focus entirely on my interactions with girls at this concert.

First off, none of the girls (3) I had contacted beforehand were able to meet me when I got there. The plan had been find one, hang out with them and their friends to get in state a little, then game her or move on. Instead, I met up with my back-up plan friend. He's a decent guy, introduced me to some girls. He has a strong focus on being dominant, and I had trouble pushing myself out to the group. I took a light off one girl who was flirty, and held on to it for a minute. I missed my chance to reopen her, though, and she came back for the light. I tried to teasingly hold on to it but couldn't come up with something to say in time, and let go when she said "give it back, dude" more seriously.

I left the group, tried to get in the groove of opening random sets. Bad AA to start though. Eventually I spotted a very cute girl who was getting into her dancing. I approached with "You look like you're having the most fun here" and she laughed. I introduced myself immediately, got her name, "Amanda" and we talked for a minute about the broken speaker on that side of the venue. I let the conversation die settle and turned over to the girl on my right side, opened by introducing myself, asked if she knew Amanda and she didn't. She didn't seem as interested in talking. I stood there and just danced for a little while, occasionally reopening Amanda. Not my best in either category, but I hoped the dancing was a DHV instead of showing off.

At one point around then, I opened a very attractive woman with a neg. She bent over in front of me, and I made an offhand comment to a guy that her shirt was too old for her, I thought there had been a middle aged lady bending over for me. I noticed her looking at me a moment later, so I opened basically with the same neg, but softened with the compliment that she was obviously young, and joked about her sense of style. I got a small glowstick from her somehow, and she seemed interested and friendly. However, I think there was a moment of awkwardness for her, and in it she walked over and told her friend. She marched over to me, and took the stick out of my hand. I laughed and joked, "Oh, so you're the tough one. Like the enforcer of the group" and, unfortunately, touched her briefly on the arm. She came back with "Why are you touching me?" obviously looking to be confrontational. I let it go and kept off, but in hindsight maybe should have said "Does that usually scare off guys you meet? *to her friend* Is she always like this?" But maybe not, I trust my feel for the moment as being the time to give up. Opinions?

Amanda was still nearby, I don't think she saw the above interaction, but she started talking to a guy next to her, so I introduced myself. He was attractive and obviously in his 20s. Looking more closely at her, she was also older than me. Got introduced to another guy, SO much bigger than me. Talked with him briefly, turns out he in college and implied I was. I chilled there for another minute then said "Nice meeting you" to her and left. Maybe could have pushed further, but it wasn't ideal.

Started walking, and ran into a female friend I hadn't talked to. She took pictures but clearly wasn't interested in spending too much time with me. I've run into her at concerts before with the same result. I moved on, and incidentally found a girl, Casey, I had been texting last night and today (unfortunately the least attractive one). Talked with her, she had been drinking a little, constant kino. Ended up grinding with her, began running my fingers over her to the beat, she got obviously into it. I wasn't feeling great, so I left to get water. Returned and we started walking to another part of the lawn. After the break, I supported her friend, who was having a hard time walking. She seemed a little confused by my apparent lack of interest. Casey was the least attractive of the group, I wasn't really ready to commit to that. I hoped to make pivots of the other two, but nothing really happened.

I found a friend from school, and we had a really good conversation. The other set left without me really noticing. He smokes a lot, so we ventured around for that. Ended up next to the picture-taking girls. I was friendly and in decent social position. We smoked, we all tried to flirt a little but ended up moving on. I was very comfortable opening random people at that point, but left multiple groups before it became anything, almost immediately after opening. I trekked around with them for a while, nothing really happened as far as girls go for a while.

Eventually we ended up with some of his other friends. One overweight girl in front of me was so obviously trying to get me to dance with her. It was tempting, I'm not as picky as I should be, but I didn't for the sake of my social value with potential future friends.

Behind me I recognized someone from elementary/middle school. She wasn't very popular then and by her facebook I had judged that she'd gotten a little easy to have friends. I generally don't put much stock in those judgements, and I don't mind easy girls. Opened her, she showed me her friends, another from the same crowd. I took water bottle and drank from it, which I've used in the past a little later in sets, but here I think it was too ****y. They were touching a lot, it was clearly a conscious choice and they offered to smoke with me.
We talked about friends from our old school, and I brought up a good friend of mine, that has been close friends with me almost forever. They laughed and said that they hadn't seen him. I then mentioned another good friend of mine who lives down the street from me. He's very charismatic and talented, generally a high value person. At his name, one of the girls burst out with complete enthusiasm "Oh my god is he here??" I knew at that point that they planned on climbing the ladder, and would flirt with me all night but really just wanted the most impressive option, rather than any connection. They touched more, I wasn't very interested, I barely said good bye as I left. They seemed really superficial to me, not my thing, but maybe I'm just making excuses.

Unfortunately, that was about it. Nothing significant happened after that, I wandered around and danced. Not a great night, but not awful for one that was mostly sober.

I'm going back to the same venue, same artists tomorrow night, with a different line up and people around me (some of the same though). I'm going to try to get Casey to drive me so I can drink (coffee of course) to calm my nerves on the approach.

I'm realizing how average I am. Not getting much, but not getting nothing. My question now is, am I on the right path to be extraordinary? I have no delusions about the amount of time it takes to be good at something, but I want to be sure I'm going at it in the right way. What is the best way to approach my social learning project? Try to get out to parties every weekend or work on cold approach or what?
 

NorwegianDJ

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Yeah, you're doing good.
However, you're getting tested by these girls, read up on it, cause you're not passing at the moment.

You should also consider being more direct, I mean, it's not like you're gonna hook up with anyone after having a normal convo for 5 minutes. Try to touch from the start and keep it up. Try to go out as much as possible.
 

LearningSlowly

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NorwegianDJ said:
However, you're getting tested by these girls, read up on it, cause you're not passing at the moment.
Yeah I definitely see that. I'll work on it and be on the lookout. Where am I mostly missing tests? Obviously with "Why are you touching me?" but that wasn't a great set anyway. I'll be reading about this more, it may answer my question, but what's the mindset that will generally get me to pass, if I do recognize a test? Sort of like: "Whats the most goofy, clever thing I can say right now?"

NorwegianDJ said:
You should also consider being more direct, I mean, it's not like you're gonna hook up with anyone after having a normal convo for 5 minutes. Try to touch from the start and keep it up. Try to go out as much as possible.
Agreed. I touch a lot, and focus on it, but I'm not very direct.
 

NorwegianDJ

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**** tests test to see if you are congruent with the way you act. By definition, if you were a cool guy, you would pass. Being a cool guy, you don't even need to recognize them to pass them. Basicly you pass by being unreactive, which can be done in several ways.
You can also force tests, and have her be attracted to you as a result.
 

LearningSlowly

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NorwegianDJ said:
**** tests test to see if you are congruent with the way you act. By definition, if you were a cool guy, you would pass. Being a cool guy, you don't even need to recognize them to pass them. Basicly you pass by being unreactive, which can be done in several ways.
You can also force tests, and have her be attracted to you as a result.
Thanks! And a second thanks for the continued responses, I'm really in your debt.

Went out again tonight. I'll keep this post short though, because nothing out of the ordinary happened. I went out, talked to girls I know, danced with a couple of them and a couple girls I don't know, nothing beyond that. I'm very average but that's ok. Average is a decent place to start.

More importantly, I was listening to The Power of Now (by Eckhart Tolle, it puts Zen tradition into very accessible and practical language) on tape, and I came to a realization. I've been looking at the concept of "being in the moment" as a means by which my pick up can be better, but that places things in the wrong order of importance. Being good with women is a goal for me. It will remain there, I am not giving up. But my life, every moment in the present, has to be the most important piece. My goals will be achieved naturally through that central focus. I think zen is the key to being happy, and having a fulfilling life, I hope some of you check it out, particularly that book, or already practice it.
 

LearningSlowly

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Hey guys! Went out again last night. Here's what I've got:

Went to see my friend Sam at his college in downtown Atlanta. His roommate had 1 male, 1 female friend over, we hung out with them for maybe 15 minutes. Nothing to comment on. We went and hung out with some of my friend's male friends, at one point we were in a dorm room and they were all drinking and talking about going out. I was frustrated with that, and was ready to go THEN. I made loud announcements to go, then got my friend and left. We went to one frat first, saw some of Sam's female friends. He's really beta. He completely disarms girls, so he knows attractive ones, but he also has a lot of trouble making moves. I saw that this was an opportunity to push myself. I connected well with the roommate's female friend at this party, sometimes having a back and forth with her with Sam and the roommate's male friend standing right there. My kino on that set was awful. Barely any progress.
We went to another frat, and it was a lot more fun. As we walked up the stairs, two 5's outside yelled "How you doin?" at us. I said "Fantastic! How you doin?" "Were good! Look at that! First one to answer!" I said "Politeness is my #1 priority" and walked past. We went in the party and there weren't really any good sets, or at least none we had the courage to open. I told Sam "Alright, looks like we're going outside to those girls."

We went outside, and I start to open. He cuts past me with a nervous "Hey uhh we were just wondering how you guys were doing?" I tag on immediately after and they seem to ignore his opener. I say "Hey, see, I'm a little nervous about talking to girls this early in the night, so I was hoping we could talk so I can get into a better mood." They reply enthusiatically with "Oh yeah we'll get you into a great mood." I was sitting next to the one who attracted me less, and I struggled to create kino with the more attractive one, but I held a strong conversation. A fight broke out in the street and we jumped up to see it for a second. After that we talked about going to another frat, and they said they were meeting their friend. Sam wanted to wait and go with them, I got the impression they were making an excuse to get away. When they took a phone call and walked across the street without saying anything, I took the initiative to go back into the party. Saw a couple kids from my high school, a year older than me, and it was good to see people's reactions to my change. We talked to a few more girls outside later, one of whom took a liking to Sam. She might have already known him, its unclear, but they left just before we did. We trekked around for some parties, not much luck. Ended up going back to the original one, where the roommate's friends had been.

That one was fine, but definitely winding down. I opened about 3 more sets, none went anywhere. Sam found us some friends of his, a girl Allison and her friend Pachi and we planned to go to waffle house. Allison clearly took advantage of Sam, had him get her alcohol, etc. When we went, I talked to both of them. Allison wasn't as interested in talking to me, but her friend has a very attentive manner. She almost overreacts facially to the things you say. Even so, she was a sweet girl, but I was just too tired. Was falling asleep in the restaurant, there was no way to succeed there. One final funny thing was, a condom fell out of my pocket. Allison got it, and teased Sam about it being his. I calmly took it from her. They go "Its yours??" and I respond very calmly and cheekily, "Yeah. Maybe someday you'll have the "talk" with your parents and know what its used for." It didn't really help me build attraction or succeed in the set, but I'm finding it's actually very easy to handle situations if you're calm.
 

LearningSlowly

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Hey guys, just had a realization about my game. Had a really weird "date" today. Went out with a girl, smoked that thing high schoolers smoke and grabbed food. We hadn't officially met before that. She was a friend of a friend and we talked through facebook. She seemed pretty eager to meet through most of the conversation. I think it helps to have a facebook profile that shows a good lifestyle.

I made a couple small mistakes early in after picking her up from her house, but I pushed past them with a cool vibe. We drove for a bit, good conversation. We smoked, and I got a little weird. The awkwardness got palpable at a couple moments, and I felt like she would lose interest in my stories. I've thought about this, and I think I have the solution I need. I need to start condensing my stories to one or two points. It's alright if I don't get my whole spiel out, just one cool thing is enough, and I'll have more to say if she asks. Under the influence, I felt the awkwardness get bad at one point, so I kind of zen-focused my way out of it, just spilled everything that was going on and that I was thinking. This included there being awkward pressure of what the terms of the meet was, and I suggested just being friends (this is the correct option to choose for this girl, she'll be a great pivot, but somehow I still felt pressure to succeed). From all external perspectives it seems like a big screw up, but on a zen level I feel like she understood that it was honest, and accepted my insecurity.

To support that theory, after we left that restaurant, she suggested introducing me to a female friend and we went for ice cream before I took her home. (I provided smoke so she bought me ice cream. Legit girl to be friends with.) I don't really know what that spill means in terms of my future with this girl, and I have no idea what she thinks, but I'm going to assume it's good and look forward to future opportunities!
 

phatboi408

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LearningSlowly said:
Hey guys. I won't waste time with too long an introduction, but this is who I am.

I'm 18, and I've been interested in Pick Up for about 3 months. I believe I'm in it for the right reasons, but only went about it in half the right way. I read a book called the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle that sums up the zen tradition, and the changes I've made in my life based on that book have helped me tap into the natural inside.

Unfortunately, I found another forum, read WAY too much, and got addicting to posting as though I knew anything. I'm a senior in high school and get laid occasionally, but by no means enough to be throwing around advice. I realized today that I need practice. Hard work will take me further than going to school every day and trying run my new friendships.

Also, I should explain that. I go to a small, private high school, with about 400 kids. I'm an art kid, and kept to myself in the art room for the past two years, after spending the first year with the losers. I'm really good at art, but I don't have many friends, and I'm slowly pulling myself out of a ditch. I know my social worth, and other people see it too, but friendships are really established at this stage.

I know I'll make it, but I need to meet more people and get out. I'm 18 now, no excuses not to go to clubs and concerts. I'm going to Germany this coming week, this will be my practice week for night game before going to an electronic music concert next weekend.

I've made lifestyle changes, and you'll see as I post more that I have self improvement in mind, but enough talking, it's time for me to step up and get out there. I won't be reading through and giving advice in other threads, I've had enough of being a wannabe. Time to get to work.

Hey man there's no better time to start than now! Use the knowledge you have to take ACTION and remember to build upon new belief systems and leave the old ones, the ones that hold you back.

For every hour of reading this stuff spend at least 2 hours aka 2x in field out practicing.

Good luck with everything!
 

LearningSlowly

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phatboi408 said:
Hey man there's no better time to start than now! Use the knowledge you have to take ACTION and remember to build upon new belief systems and leave the old ones, the ones that hold you back.

For every hour of reading this stuff spend at least 2 hours aka 2x in field out practicing.

Good luck with everything!
Thanks man! Yeah I'm trying not to read at all anymore, just get out there every weekend and learn my stuff then type up my experiences here. My FR's haven't been particularly interesting or well written so far (skip over anything that bores you), I'll be working on that, everyone please keep me in the corner of your eye and I'll surprise you someday!

I'm currently setting up my plans for tonight. Unfortunately parents got in the way of a big college party I had been counting on. I may go back to the same college downtown from last weekend, possibly with different people, or maybe to a football game with a pivot I know. I'll let you all know tomorrow what happens!
 

LearningSlowly

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Hey guys, sorry about that. I wrote a good, long post out, and it got deleted somehow. Emailed an admin about it but no response. So I'll try to remember it a week later and explain.

Went out with the same friend at the college, Sam. His friends are much more proactive about getting girls than he is, I appreciated that. I also got kicked out of a frat for the first time. I was just having a girl get me a drink (they don't serve to guys) which seemed like a classic move. In hindsight I probably shouldn't have gone up to the bartender with her.

Anyway, spent the start of the night trying to game Sam's friends. One was flirty, and liked me, but she was naturally touchy and clearly saw my age. Another, the one who got me a drink, was maybe a 5, very hot and cold. She was clearly reserved, and maybe I didn't talk to her enough at the very start of the night (though it was a single circle of people) for her to feel comfortable later. Tried to engage her and got nowhere. The last one was too old and too hot, and knew it. I did alright in the first ten minutes, sparked some interest and qualification from her. The first bad signal after that was my age, but also I give off this "new to being cool" vibe. I know what to do, I dress well, but my style, especially that night in a half-assed Halloween costume, I looked a bit overdone and try hard (I'm getting MUCH better. My clothes will soon be enough for "He looks fresh" without "he dressed himself really carefully..."). She met up with two male friends later, both very cool people who respected me on a basic alpha level. They left halfway through to go to a club though.

I met up with my female friend, and her friends were powerhouses. Two guys, both over 6'2, striped zebra leggings, peacocked out. Three girls with them, two very attractive, then my friend, who is pretty, revealing costumes on all three. They were all nice, because I was friendly and genuine to all of them, but there was no respect, I was outmatched.

Met Sam and some of his friends outside the frat we had gone to. They were all ready to pick up chicks, so I brought them in to meet my group. They had decent skills, but didn't get anywhere. One guy pulled off a solid set while I was with him though, ducked in beside a girl on her phone and ended up engaged with the whole group. Sam and I wandered the room for a minute, I had bad AA. As a "warm up" (really just not pushing myself) I opened a 4. She was all ears, but two black girls came up and danced with us for a minute, then I reopened. It was a weird DHV, but she was like a puppy from there. I didn't want to be stuck with her, but I knew it was possible to get girls with her around. Rather than try to milk her circle of friends, some of whom were there, I made the mistake of suggesting we leave the frat. Her friend kept her from leaving, so Sam and I headed back to meet his friends, and we all chose to head back to his dorm.

Once there we chilled for a bit, another guy or two came over. Then his pick-up friends came back. I joked with them about the night for a second, and we talked about going back out, to meet anyone we could. They decided this meant waffle house, and we headed out. We even found one more for the cause on the way to WaHo.

It was filled with college kids, with a long wait, and as a group we opened every girl waiting around us in different conversations. I did alright, but not great. Maybe 2nd, but probably 3rd place of the four in terms of helpfulness. When the girls got a table, all three of the guys jumped to get chairs and crowd around the one end of the booth. There's no way to squeeze four chairs there, I knew they might eject those guys if I didn't leave, so I took one for the team and ditched. Nothing remarkable past there.

One interesting point was while talking with one girl, she asked about a rubber bracelet I wear. This has been a scripted joke of mine in the past, so when she asked what it said I replied: "Oh it says 2k by 2011, I was trying to have sex with 2000 girls by 2011. Didn't make it though."
She goes: "Eww. That's unbecoming. *to friend* Hey, this one's unbecoming."
Her friend looked at me with maybe a little sympathy, and I emphasized that I hadn't actually done it (I should have gone serious, and talked about my rowing and what the sport is). Just shows that the same thing won't work on every girl, I've had that bracelet work outside a Waffle House before.

I'm trying to get something going for tonight but I don't think it'll happen. I have Monday off too, so maybe Sunday night, we'll see. I need to get in the field, maybe I'll do some mall day game.
 

Rhino

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LearningSlowly said:
(I should have gone serious, and talked about my rowing and what the sport is).
Hm. I feel like you should have just done that anyway, honestly - it seems like an interesting enough topic to be able to bring up. I feel like maybe if the bracelet didn't mean anything in particular you could use a joke like that, as long as its congruent with your character (I probably couldn't get away with it) but as long as something you can talk about attached to it, which is pretty unique, I would.
 
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