Advice on reigniting interest from girl

My first post on this forum, I couldn't get over how good the advice and content on this forum is, it really is top notch! so I had to post my own question and see what you guys thought.

Anyway, here goes, long story, so I met this girl at the gym I work at, she was a 9/10 and we hit it off the minute we started chatting. Seemed to have a lot in common and I asked her out for a coffee despite the fact it was work and she said 'yes we can!'. After getting her number, I text her and set up a date and played it cool by not contacting her again other than to set up the time. Well, from the next day onwards, she seemed to then do most of the running. She contacted me and began texting me non stop. We met on Tuesday, it was amazing and she said she had a great time, she then texts me all Tuesday night and asks me if I want coffee on Wednesday so we meet again and it's great, I ask her out for lunch on Friday and shes really keen on the idea and then the next day suggests we should go to the cinema that evening, again I say yes and can't believe my luck, it all feels so easy!

Anyway, we meet on Friday afternoon, go for ANOTHER coffee, this is where I got complacent, we were getting on so well, I decided to get more physical, I start kissing her on the lips and she responds mutually this carries on all day in the end. We go to the Cinema, lots of kissing and fondling going on we get back to her car more kissing and fondling going on. She even expresses her enjoyment of it and says she wishes we were in bed right then. Basically we are acting as if we are BF and GF already. I get home and she texts me first, it was still going really well.

Saturday, I text her in the morning and she seems her usual self, in the evening I notice she seems a bit different via text and for some reason stupidly then decide to ask her out again, assuming it won't be a problem. She then makes an excuse about why she can't make Monday and I then suggest Tuesday and she says 'sounds great!'. Next day, I text her and shes immediately cold now, just give me a couple of responses, I stupidly then try to text her a couple more times. (Yes I know! Really weak of me!)

She then texts me on Monday morning telling me 'we are moving too fast, I am not used to all those kisses all the time and I am not ready for a relationship right now, I have other priorities right now with moving flat and job hunting, it's not a bad thing, just I don't know you and we already feel like we are in a relationship!. She also sent a photo of her new hair to me following this and seemed to be seeking my approval of it which seemed strange.

I respond by telling her that 'I agree maybe we are moving too fast and maybe I was a bit over the top the other night, I'm not looking for a huge relationship myself as I have just had a big career change, but I am really enjoying spending time with you and enjoy your company, I hope that clears up where I am coming from! And by the way, the hair looks good!'

I don't hear from her again following that last text, so I leave it a couple of days and text her yesterday just asking her how she is. She responded really enthusiastically and immediately which I was suprised by and text me for about 20 minutes before she went to work, within this time she sent me another photo of herself taken that day. Anyway, I am leaving it again now until she contacts me again, I'm not really sure what to make of all this, I know I have made some amateur mistakes but am trying to claw back my pride at the moment by giving her space and not bombarding her. My game was really strong in the beginning and she couldn't seem to leave me alone, I seem to have killed it though potentially by being over physical.

If anyone can give me their take on this?

Sorry for the essay!

Sure! You didn't kill it by being over-physical - heck, I've had sex with girls on date 2 that I ended up making my girlfriends. No, you killed it by (a) seeing her too much, (b) contacting her too much between dates, and (c) misusing the phone, which should only be used to set up dates. If you need an explanation of any of these things, please let me know and I can elaborate further. Hope this helps!

Yes Harry, I see what you mean! I was naive I think, she was so keen all the time to begin with I didn't feel the need to pull back, I got carried away I guess!

It's funny I have upped my game in the last few years and have had girls approaching me which I am not used too, this was the first time I have had a 9 out of 10 girl non stop contacting me though!

Thanks for your help. I am wondering though is there anyway I can turn this around? I thought it was over but when she text me back yesterday like she was pleased to hear from me, I wondered if there was still a bit of hope left?

I really like everytime someone posts here that he met an HB9...LMAO...
It seems half of the guys here are meeting Adrianas Lima every week, and I see HBs5-6-7 every damn day because they are the majority of women out there, but ok...

Anyway, you kind of pressured her by contacting her every damn day, and seing her so many times in such a short period of time.
BUT, I think this is 50-60% of the problem here. The rest is that seing you so often made her realise that she doesn't like you that much, AND you didn't even have sex which you SHOULD HAVE HAD considering she seemed so into you!!. Dumbass...


Live and Learn.

There should be a rule that every time a HB8-10 is mentioned, he should post a picture of her as evidence.. lol jk

haha! I was going to say that, I would happily provide proof and post her photo, but I get the feeling it could potentially make things worse for me! lol.

The first problem is you rating her a 9/10.

Let go of all that juvenile scoring.

Women are women regardless of there 'mark out of 10'

Treat her like a '5 out of 10' and you won't have an issue. Good work in the initial stages though but you went too quick. You understand this so you learnt a lesson. I would Seperate yourself from her orbit and sarge other plates.

You exposed yourself to her way too much. Texting was also excessive.

Finally, you should have banged her the night you made out with her. Not banging her was the final blow.

She has put you firmly in the friendzone but is more than happy to keep you around as an emotional tampon. Don't be an emotional tampon. Do not respond to any of her attention seeking and validation texts. Ignore them.

Trust me, she is only going to string you around from henceforth and I can bet you my life savings that she has meet another guy that wasn't afraid to bang her silly or is making her taco tingle.

Live and learn.

Thanks for the responses guys, you are telling me what I don't want to hear but I am accepting and realise you are mostly right! I messed up.

Regarding the banging situation, she wouldn't let me go any further in the car and I did make her start moaning and very wet just via rubbing a certain area of hers in the car..this was pushing it, as she had to go to pick up her friend. So while telling me how wet she was she also kept saying she had to go and pick her friend up.

From her text she sent to me afterwards, it seemed to be expressing guilt about how far we went when she said 'I wont be doing 'things' outside of a relationship'.

Do you think she could also be feeling she made herself look a bit of a slut?? And that's why she felt upset about it? I wondered if this might have something to do with it, she gives impression of being quite a clean cut girl and not the sort to sleep around. I may be wrong though!

UK-JS said:

She contacted me and began texting me non stop. We met on Tuesday, it was amazing and she said she had a great time, she then texts me all Tuesday night and asks me if I want coffee on Wednesday so we meet again and it's great, I ask her out for lunch on Friday and shes really keen on the idea and then the next day suggests we should go to the cinema that evening, again I say yes and can't believe my luck, it all feels so easy!

Click to expand...

Stop. I haven't even read the rest of your post, but I can tell you right now the root cause of whatever the problem is... I put it in bold. Orbit much? Your life shouldn't revolve around hers. And three dates in four days... jesus, slow it down. At least pretend you're busy. You should have declined Wednesday and just done Friday.


K, I just finished reading the rest of your post now. Yep. Saw that coming. See above.

Thanks Yewki, yeah right, this is my biggest lesson yet to be honest, in the past I have always arranged the dates and done the chasing. The fact she kept organising dates made me feel it was all OK, but clearly just because she arranged them didn't make it that way!

That guy that she was ****** suddenly started giving her attention again. It happens lol.

Mauser, she's 29. Same as me! You think maybe anti slut defense is at work here?

Well just a little update-

Thanks again guys for the input, I realise I did mess up in certain areas, I'm still a bit pissed about it all, but I know it was a great experience to learn from.

I text her again this afternoon due to fact she responded so well the other day, but no response it would appear. So I guess it's time to now call it quits!

I also realise though this was a two way street, I had my failings, but from what I have read from other posts here, it would appear this girl has some narcissistic traits aswell, she is obsessed with takign photos of herself and was constantly telling me stories about times she was told she was beautiful and also told me she would not go to clubs due to the fact men would never leave her alone, she had numerous stories about how because she was so beautiful men would not leave her alone and seemed to grin with delight when telling them.

She also mentioned how to the father she was always known as princess. She also didn't seem to like the fact I knew alot of people in town and mentioned how she had lived there awhile and didn't know as many people.

So I think this also played a part in the downfall, I think the fact I took control last Friday night and led the show a bit with her. Making all of the moves perhaps made her a bit irritated, I get the feeling she is used to being the center of attention, in control and perhaps I seemed to not respect that enough?

So I think in part she has decided to take back control and reject me, I may be wrong or deluded I don't know. But now I analyse things more clearly, this could make sense.

I know though, I also lost control of my own senses!

1. never invest in a woman to much.
2. spin plates
3. have a life
4. don't give a fvck

When you are to attached to your phone and think about this chick this happen. understand that this chick don't sit around the phone like you and blabbing...