Your Smoothest Move

Don Ronny · 07-01-2003, 03:29 PM

Man it is sickening how much negativity is on the board these days. So c'mon fellas, let's hear about those shining moments when everything just clicked and you surprised yourself by pulling off some suave sh*t! It could be a small victory, a number close, a kiss, a BJ, whatever. What was the one golden moment you can remember where you were just ON, your game was unusually tight, and you look back and beam with pride? Maybe your chump-ass dont have any but witnessed some smooth moves from a friend, I don't care..

Let's just hear some happy/funny stories to inspire us, before I slit my f*ckin wrists over here!

Don Ronny · 07-01-2003, 03:41 PM

Man, you suckas are LAME!
Okay fine, I will start it off.

I was on my lunch break at work, taking the elevator down to the cafeteria and there is this FINE asian HB9. She had to be fine because I don't really go for Asian chicks as a rule. Anyways, I noticed she had one of those Hello Kitty characters embroidered on her purse, so I was like "Hey, look, its Batsmaru! (The character's name) She smiled at me bigtime and said she was surprised I knew the character because most Americans only know Hello Kitty. I told her how my little sisters are into that sh*t and I just bought my youngest sister a stuffed Batsmaru doll cuz it's her favorite. We fluff talked and I found out she was half Japanese and half Puerto Rican (sssooooo hot!) I told her I was Italian and that there is something about Latin blood that makes people sexy as hell. We reached the ground floor and both headed to the cafeteria. We ate together and fluffed some more. We finished up and were about to go back upstairs when, on a whim I said, "Sayy, are you feeling crazy today?" "Whaddya mean?"she asked" "I mean do you feel like doing something you've never done before?" "depends" said HB9. "Well, I haven't done this in ages, but seeing that it is such a gorgeous day I feel like doing something kind of naughty" She was brimming with anticipation and asked "Like what? Tell me!" "I am going to (pause) play hookie today. I've had it, I am done for the day and am going for a sunlit stroll in the park! Care to join me?" She thinks about it for a sec then says "I really shouldn't....but what the hell, fukkit!"

Hehe, I encountered zero resistance for the rest of the afternoon and my d!ck was in her by suppertime!

I have done some impressive things since then, but by far that was my one shining moment I wont forget!

CyranoDeBergerac · 07-01-2003, 03:57 PM

From last night at my job:

I was being introduced around the place (I'm new), and there was this girl working the counter named Eden. East Indian or Arabic, but petite, and oh so curvacious... a universal eight I might say.

Anyway, she starts giving me the eye work and later on while I'm getting an order ready for a table she comes over to me and asks for something or other. Here's an excerpt from the convo and an advanced warning for mild corn-factor:

CDB: "I won't tell if you won't. If you don't mind though, riddle me this,...'Eden' is a pretty unusual name so why did your parents choose it?"

E: "well my parents are muslim and after they moved here all they wanted was a child, so when I came along they thought that now it was truly paradise. Paradise...Eden...that's pretty much it. Why did you ask?

(watch for the setup)
CDB: " I think I've met one or two Eden's before actually...I just had to know..."

E: " And did you ask them too?"

CDB: "No, I wasn't really interested?"

(and she takes the bait...)
E: (giggles a little) "So why ask me?"

CDB: "Well up until now no one's ever been promising enough to live up to the title."

She blushed, and digits were acheived. I knew where I was going with it, so matter what she said it was only a matter of time until I was able to pull out the punchline. C'mon, let's here more success stories guys... Share the hope...

-CyranoDeBergerac

InLawsHateMe · 07-01-2003, 04:07 PM

When I realized I wasn't 'average'...... from that day, I discovered that, it's harder for a woman to find a 'good' man, then it is for a man, to find a hot babe. Hot babes are a dime a dozen to us. I also found out that, no matter how hot she thinks she is, or how much money she's got, they sweat, shiver, and moan under the sheets like any red blooded woman.

Don Ronny · 07-01-2003, 04:09 PM

See folks this is what I am talkin about. Beautiful work CDB! I think I have a tear in my eye, that's how smooth those moves were.

ILHM, I like the spirit of your post but I think we all want to hear actual moves. Give us the dirty details!

Anyone else?..cmon surely some of you have kissed a girl or gotten a number before! So how'd you pull that off?

Big victory, Small victory..it dont matter

cuz we are all winners!

(godammit someone give me a hug, here!)

seriously, quit wallowing in your own pool of rejection/bitterness and come back from the Dark Side!

InLawsHateMe · 07-01-2003, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Don Ronny
See folks this is what I am talkin about. Beautiful work CDB! I think I have a tear in my eye, that's how smooth those moves were.

ILHM, I like the spirit of your post but I think we all want to hear actual moves. Give us the dirty details!

Anyone else?..cmon surely some of you have kissed a girl or gotten a number before! So how'd you pull that off?

Big victory, Small victory..it dont matter

cuz we are all winners!

(godammit someone give me a hug, here!)

seriously, quit wallowing in your own pool of rejection/bitterness and come back from the Dark Side!

ya cracking me up Don!

Don Ronny · 07-01-2003, 04:20 PM

ILHM, you never gave us the juicy details but I will forgive you because you obviously have a brilliant sense of humor

And they say heads from Ohio are a buncha uncultured, cross-eyed Hicks....rubbish!

InLawsHateMe · 07-01-2003, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Don Ronny
ILHM, you never gave us the juicy details but I will forgive you because you obviously have a brilliant sense of humor

And they say heads from Ohio are a buncha uncultured, cross-eyed Hicks....rubbish!

LOL!! Rubbish... LOL!!!!!!!!!!

That's just the ladies....

Ninja Dude · 07-01-2003, 04:37 PM

2 weeks ago

I was dancing at a friends wedding and this really cute girl (HB-7) bumped into me and accidentally smashed a plate of wedding cake on my suit. There was a big blotch of frosting on my vest and the cake got splattered all over my pants. Inspiration hit me out of nowhere and I said very calmly, "You know, there are much easier ways to get me out of these pants!" She blushed and we both laughed as we went to get napkins. She is helping me brush the icing off my pants and I totally catch a boner! Normally I would get embarrassed but somehow I was feeling extra cocky that day and didn't bother hiding it. She noticed it and turned purple! But KEPT CLEANING MY PANTS! This was the mother of all green lights so I told her there was a hose out back and we could both clean up there. We made out a little and she was about to go down on me when, of all people, the priest showed up and caught us red-handed! Needless to say I got the digits and will be seeing more of her. I have never been this spontaneous in my life and suppose I owe a lot to this site. Thanks everyone!

p/s - Also thanks to Don Ronny for this thread! It's a breath of fresh air in this land of desperate whiners!

Crotch Sniffer · 07-01-2003, 05:46 PM

Desperate whiners??? Speak for yourself Ninja Fool!

I may be desperate but I never whine!

Besides, my story is much better than yours. This was a long time ago in my AFC days. I was always the typical Nice Guy and was just fed up. A good friend of mine who is a natural with the ladies gave me some advice. He said "CS, you are way too nice my man. I mean you have pvssy written all over your face and trust me, thats not good! Do yourself a favor, be an assh*le for a day. Just one day say something really rude to a HB and get it out of your system. I know it sounds crazy but just try it!" His words were still ringin in my ears when I went shopping at the grocery store later on. I was contemplating this bizarre advice when I saw a hot-ass blonde make her way down the aisle (about a 7 face but 9 body with legs from here to yaya!) Anyways I scoped her out in the produce section and figured the opportunity was ripe (haha you like my clever writing skills!

) Anyway I walk up to her with two bananas. One small and one large. I say excuse me miss, but which one do you prefer as I hold each one over my dyck. She slaps me dead in the face so hard, I had a hand mark for hours afterwards! Okay so it wasn't really a success per se, but I have to say, my friend was right. From that day forward I had more balls than ever!

drZaius09 · 07-01-2003, 05:51 PM

This one is my friend Joe's, but to this day it remains one of his finest moments.

This was about 2 years ago, at the time I was just starting to realize that the way I conducted myself with women was "AFC" and flawed. My friend and I were trolling a local mall and we noticed these two girls following us around from store to store. They were younger, probably around 18 or so, and they looked like your typical "HB9" as you all would say, used to getting attention and manipulating anything they want from men. Finally, when we were in the record store, they approached Joe while I was browsing another section.

One of them said to him, "We think you and your friend are cute."
He just turns and stares at her, then continues flipping through vinyls.
She gets mad and returns with, "Aren't you going to talk to us?!?!?"
He replies, "Nah." Then walks away.

I only caught the tail-end of the exchange... when he told me what happened I was so proud, I shed a tear. Then I couldn't stop laughing for like, 8 hours or something.

Drex · 07-01-2003, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by drZaius09
This one is my friend Joe's, but to this day it remains one of his finest moments.

This was about 2 years ago, at the time I was just starting to realize that the way I conducted myself with women was "AFC" and flawed. My friend and I were trolling a local mall and we noticed these two girls following us around from store to store. They were younger, probably around 18 or so, and they looked like your typical "HB9" as you all would say, used to getting attention and manipulating anything they want from men. Finally, when we were in the record store, they approached Joe while I was browsing another section.

One of them said to him, "We think you and your friend are cute."
He just turns and stares at her, then continues flipping through vinyls.
She gets mad and returns with, "Aren't you going to talk to us?!?!?"
He replies, "Nah." Then walks away.

I only caught the tail-end of the exchange... when he told me what happened I was so proud, I shed a tear. Then I couldn't stop laughing for like, 8 hours or something.

Why is this smooth? Did he get laid? Land any digits? Sounds like he blew off 2 HBs and got nothing out of it.

Drex · 07-01-2003, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Crotch Sniffer
Besides, my story is much better than yours. This was a long time ago in my AFC days. I was always the typical Nice Guy and was just fed up. A good friend of mine who is a natural with the ladies gave me some advice. He said "CS, you are way too nice my man. I mean you have pvssy written all over your face and trust me, thats not good! Do yourself a favor, be an assh*le for a day. Just one day say something really rude to a HB and get it out of your system. I know it sounds crazy but just try it!" His words were still ringin in my ears when I went shopping at the grocery store later on. I was contemplating this bizarre advice when I saw a hot-ass blonde make her way down the aisle (about a 7 face but 9 body with legs from here to yaya!) Anyways I scoped her out in the produce section and figured the opportunity was ripe (haha you like my clever writing skills! ) Anyway I walk up to her with two bananas. One small and one large. I say excuse me miss, but which one do you prefer as I hold each one over my dyck. She slaps me dead in the face so hard, I had a hand mark for hours afterwards! Okay so it wasn't really a success per se, but I have to say, my friend was right. From that day forward I had more balls than ever!

God that is a classic. Your balls must have grown a steel shell after that one. If I could pull that off I wouldnt be afraid of talking to a woman ever again, lol.

crackhead · 07-01-2003, 06:27 PM

Yea, I agree with Drex, doesn't sound like much of a success at all, drzaius. Sounds more like a golden opportunity thrown in the trash. You were so proud you shed a tear?? What? The goal is to get girls to spread their legs, not push them away or 'not give them anything they want like they are used to' SHEESH!

You're a 'crackhead' for pushing away 18 year old 9's!!!!!!!!

*shakes head*

icepick · 07-01-2003, 06:48 PM

"Excuse me miss, but which one do you prefer?"

LOL!

I wish I could add to this thread, but my "game" or whatever consits of doing dumb ****, having the girl crack up, and then we get into it. At which point, I usually just grab her arm, and lead her someplace more 'private'.

I am not smooth at ALL, but it still works. (I kinda wish I was cuz some of this stuff is funny!)

Ninja Dude · 07-01-2003, 07:48 PM

These are hilarious stories. I think CrotchSniffer took the cake with his banana story...LMAO!!

I want to see more of these!

icepick, maybe your game seems like dumb**** to you but one man's dumb**** is another man's epiphany, so share the love!

Eternal · 07-01-2003, 08:09 PM

Alright, here's mine. Went to Deleware with my friend to his beach house last year. His girlfriend and her twin sister are there (they live in Deleware) and he introduces me to her sister. She shows minor interest (eye contact and a slight smile) so I think nothing of it. Next day, his parents leave for the week so me and him have the beach house free. He invites his girlfriend over and she brings her sister. We are on the couch and my friend and his girl leave to go back to thier house (lived next door) so it's just me and Jenna watching Con Air. I think about making a move for all of a second and then my arm's around her. She turns her head, looks at me, smiles, and moves in. We start making out, next thing I know, her hands are down my pants!

Few minutes later, bedroom time!

5 times that week. Best...summer...ever.

PiMpJuIcE · 07-01-2003, 08:15 PM

YEAH MY SHINING MOMENT WAS ALMOST AS GOOD. AT A CLUB ONE TIME I WAS CHILLIN TALKIN TO MY FRIENDS. WHILE THIS IS HAPPENIN THIS FINE ASS CHICK COMES OUT OF NO WHERE AND ASKS ME TO DANCE. THE SONG WE WERE DANCIN TO WAS THONG SONG

. FIRST FROM THE FRONT WHERE MY HANDS WERE ON HER ASS AND SHE WAS JUST GRINDIN AWAY AT MY **** THEN SHE TURNED AROUND AND GRINDED HER ASS AGAINST MY **** WHILE I SQUEEZED THE MILK OUT OF HER TITS. NEXT THING I KNEW WE WERE IN THE BATHROOM AND I GOT THE BEST ****IN LAPDANCE AND ******* IVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. I MEAN IF HEAD GIVIN WAS A PROFESIONAL SPORT, SHED BE ****IN MICHAEL JORDAN. IN-****IN-CREDIBLE

Eternal · 07-01-2003, 08:18 PM

Uh Malcolm...you could take off the caps lock...

drZaius09 · 07-01-2003, 08:58 PM

To crackhead and drex: let me help you understand since you're having such a hard time.

When I say "HB9" I mean the typical painted-on sl*t whom 99% of all dudes who drink bud light and visit strip clubs and drive mustangs or camaros are attracted to. These girls would not necessarily spark the interest of a man who has more discriminating tastes.

When the girl in question didn't get the reaction she was looking for, that being my friend's immediate and undivided ATTENTION, she became irritated and pugnacious. I would say his response put her squarely in her place.

After all, this thread is about "Your Smoothest Move," not "Your Smoothest Move that got you laid."