My Sh*t Theory

RonJuan · 07-14-2001, 01:31 AM

O.K. I hear the boards are gettign thin lately for material. I want to add this excerpt from a rant I sent to another "Why are women so screwed up" page a while back. It will probably get more exposure and comment here than it did on the page I originally submitted it to, since this page was mostly whiners wondering why chicks don't like nice guys instead of this forum which is mostly about understanding how to get past that idea. I call it my "Sh*t Theory", it is original, entertaining, and hints at the truth.

“Women say with the mouth "I like you, you're (insert complement here) but....." Out of the mouth comes these "I want a good man with brains, heart, likes children, etc." comments. You hear them and get mixed messages. The next time you hear this, and you will hear it again, and again, and again, take that girl, if she's not prohibitively overweight, and flip here over. Grab her right on the spot and flip her over, so you can be head-level with her a$$. What women really want comes out of their a$$! Follow me? Women want "S**T"! S**tty men, to be treated like s**t, to eat s**t day-in, day out.
This, I call the "S**t Theory". As much hypothesis testing has gone into this study as any scientific experiment in history. Actually more. Follow me on this one.
Think about this: Most women, as little girls, 'hated' the boys. They thought boys were 'gross', they teased, and being roughly physically equal at that age, even beat up the boys. Then their sex organs began pumping and they decided they 'liked' the boys. But the truth of the matter is that for most women a little bit of that instinctive dislike exists still in adulthood. Also, just like they secretly 'liked' the teasing and attention of a boy telling them "I hate you Peggy Sue" and pulling their pigtails, they still like that a$$hole today. This doesn't mean there is justification in hurting women, it is just a proven theory.
Let us not forget too that most women like drama in their lives. "I'm only happy when it rains" wasn't written by the group Garbage, it was collectively written by the millions of drama queens out their and Garbage just made a buck off of the phrase. From Maine to Arizona, in the ghetto, behind ivy-covered walls, women long for and seek out drama in their lives. They want to be in the 'news' all the time, so they overamplify, even provoke and create mostly negative situations so they can be in the news as well as being the 'poor victim' of misfortune. There are thousands of common examples of what I am talking about in well-known culture, so I'm not going to list them here, but just think about it and you'll agree. Women, having some consciousness, cannot bring themselves to 'victimize' 'GOOD' men by trapping us with unexpected pregnancies, provoking us into beating them (cause' they know a GOOD man wouldn't) or creating havoc in our lives to spice it up. Just like a soap opera, it would not be interesting if all the stuff was good, some outrageous and unbelievable stuff must occur to keep the interest going.
This says nothing about physical abuse. It has been my experience that women, loving scorn, like those guys who treat them bad, or treat them good on small occasions, like a night out, but talk to them badly the rest of the time. They like those cowboys who spend their check on stuff for the truck but nothing for them. Even though women will say "You never bring me flowers", they don't want flowers. Or candy. Valentine's Day is the biggest crock of s**t in the world. Short of spending a couple of G's on a Val. Day ring, your best lay wouldn't come from a gift or card on the Red Day. Next Val. Day, don't get your lover jack s**t! I'm serious! You want your brains sucked out through your stick, dog your women on Valentines Day. After the drama YOU induced by 'hurting her feelings' has subsided, the make-up sex will be sensational, much better than the small 'thank you' f**k for spending $100 on roses and candy. Take that $100 and buy yourself something nice. She'll hate you for that too (if you aren't slick enough to hide it from her). And then she'll probably let you lay the pipe harder than ever during the make-up sex session after THAT argument. 2 lays and a new saw or d.v.d. player later, you have become one of those "a$$holes" they love!! THIS IS TESTED, RETESTED, AND PROVEN FACT!!!! They want you to dog them so it will be like the schoolyard. Those same girls who said "Billy is a poopy-head and smells" back in 1st grade secretly wanted to f**k Billy, but were years too early to understand what drove their scorn. It was only after their breasts started popping out that they realized, instinctively, that they must appear to appeal to men to attract them so they can release that feeling--the same feeling that made them hate and yet love the boys at the same time. This is the conflict between women's f**ked-up intellects, which tell them the man who screws them loves them, and instinct, which tells them to screw the man they love.
It sound simple, but it is true. Women like 'a$$'. They like everything that has to do with the 'a$$'--a$$holes and being treated like S**T. Hell, most, no almost ALL even like a hard spanking while you are ****in' em'. Believe me, if I was a Nobel-Prize winner in peace, with flowers in my hair, strumming a guitar, singing love songs with little children gathering at my feet and money falling out of my pocket, women will be attracted. Attracted to come look at the spectacle. Proud to know me--as a friend. Trying to slip that money out of my pocket slyly. I get so many complements from my female 'friends'. Do I score pu$$y from those females? HELL NO!!! What allegedly warms a women's heart (kindness, love, sense of humor) is what all us GOOD GUYS provide for women's ENTERTAINMENT, knowingly or not. They pay attention to you for the humor, like the talking or advice, for the entertainment, but they get their sex elsewhere. I watch MTV for the entertainment, but I get my sports coverage from another channel, yet I can say I really ‘LIKE’ MTV. If you are ever unfortunate enough to hook up with a chick like this (about 95% of them) and get in a relationship, you will soon find that your woman will go to the comedy club (you) for the laughs, then stop at the strip club (some other 'stud') for the sex. Then she will wipe her chin and walk back in your door as Ms. Proper, probably provoke (or invoke) argument because she feels guilty or wants that damn 'drama' again, and will leave in tears swearing you are the a$$hole. No, you are not an a$$hole. If you were an a$$hole, you would be in an a$$hole---hers!
So, in closing, just remember that: 1. Women talk out of their a$$es, and that's why you are mystified at their motives and words, and: 2. Nice guys are boring and NICE, that's why women cannot scorn them as easily, thus, my gentlemanly friend, gentlemen get no play!!!

Drew · 07-14-2001, 04:51 AM

HAHAHA

Very interesting post RonJuan.

Neophyte · 07-14-2001, 08:44 AM

Sh!t http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/smile.gif

Nice theory...

Cya,
Neo

Mental Man · 07-14-2001, 10:12 AM

yeah i like this post, very interesting and made me laugh too

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No guts..........NO GLORY

SoSuave.com · 07-14-2001, 07:09 PM

Moving to Tips forum.

CAT · 07-15-2001, 02:55 PM

WHOEVER STARTED THIS THEORY IS A GENIUS. I FOUND THIS EXERPT TO BE VERY TRUE AND QUICK HUMOROUS. GOOD WORK JUAN

ACTION · 07-20-2001, 11:20 AM

YEAH! The shyt is good enough to Bump. (I know the Feminazis will scorn me for that!)

mahon83050 · 07-20-2001, 11:54 AM

**** like this makes me feel hopeless. I am a good guy and cannot treat girls like crap and sleep like a baby at night. That goes against my religious beliefs and the way i was brought up. It makes me angry as hell and at the world..... I know what you are taling about, my good friend treats his g/f like crap, cheats on her and all and she stays with him!!! I tend to think alot of broads have low self-esteem and are insecure, i guess that is why they stay with these assholes. Girls are fukked up....and i know the reply is going to be it is not women it is us right?? I say bull**** to that, anyone who gets treated like garbage and likes it, is fukked up and i don't feel bad for them!! Sorry, i am just an angry good guy who feels hopeless about all this negative stuff!!

Drew · 07-20-2001, 02:33 PM

Don't feel hopeless mahon. That's not the purpose of the tip. It's just to get you thinking that women aren't the greatest and not to become a supplicator to all their needs.

To get women you don't have to treat women like crap. That's not what anyone is saying. You just have to have more of a spine and not take crap from women yourself.

lordclem* · 08-08-2001, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Drew:
Don't feel hopeless mahon. That's not the purpose of the tip. It's just to get you thinking that women aren't the greatest and not to become a supplicator to all their needs.

To get women you don't have to treat women like crap. That's not what anyone is saying. You just have to have more of a spine and not take crap from women yourself.

ahahahaha that was such a warm ..really sweet think to say :-)
(said with a small ammount of pun)

RonJuan · 08-10-2001, 06:17 PM

stuartSan · 08-10-2001, 07:41 PM

Bump once more.

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i'd rather die than give you control

ravenqr1 · 08-30-2001, 09:22 PM

Sorry have to disagree with the moderators here, trying to tone down and give us the interpretation of RonJuan's post. His post, as it stands, is to be interpreted literally. Yes, you have to treat them like **** to make them hot and horny, fast. Just do it, don't ask questions - they'll be answered when you're spanking her ass.

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Show no love, hold mo' doves.

Drew · 08-30-2001, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ravenqr1:
Sorry have to disagree with the moderators here, trying to tone down and give us the interpretation of RonJuan's post. His post, as it stands, is to be interpreted literally. Yes, you have to treat them like **** to make them hot and horny, fast. Just do it, don't ask questions - they'll be answered when you're spanking her ass.

What are you talking about? We didn't tone down a thing.

BigBill · 09-01-2001, 04:15 AM

B-U-M-P

I laughed my ass off at this. Good work. I broke a date with a hottie tonight just so I could stay home and dye a Judo uniform.

I wouldn't EVER have done anything like that a couple of months ago and it felt great. I just called her up an hour before we were supposed to go out and told her I couldn't go cause I have a Judo tournament next weekend and I have to dye my uniform blue. She sort of was caught off guard and was like ummm thats cool, when do you want to go out then. I told her I'd call her.

Maybe I will maybe not but treating women like S*** is a total hoot. I finally got past what was holding me back all these years and making me into a nice-guy chump. I was so worried about losing a woman's approval, that I wouldn't take any risks with her. When I finally figured out it's like this. would you like to have 20 girls that think you are the sweetest guy, and complimenting you on how nice you are and how great it is that you are always there for them and listen to their stupid problems, and don't oggle them or make them feel uncomfortable by hitting on them like all the otehr guys. Or might it be better to have 2 or 3 girls who like and are turned on by real men who think you are a total stud and get horney every time they think of you, and 17 or 18 other girls who think you are rude, crude, pushy, arrogant, and scary! I'd rather have the second choice because all those 17 o 18 girls wanted to do with you was use you to boost their ego and waste your time giving you a smile and a complaiment now and then when what you REALLY want is a piece of tail.

RockandRoll! · 09-01-2001, 07:17 AM

my beliefs are based on the whole make of the sh*t theory!it's so true.women do want what comes out their a$$es!

RonJuan · 09-02-2001, 03:30 AM

Thanks for the responses. This was one that I had to bust out. It came from me one evening after just letting it flow, but it grew around itself because it was so true! It's really the way chicks make decisons, going for the bad instead of the good but doing it willingly and aginst logic.

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Let's all put our heads together and gang up on these ho's!

Galactus · 01-10-2002, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RonJuan:
Thanks for the responses. This was one that I had to bust out. It came from me one evening after just letting it flow, but it grew around itself because it was so true! It's really the way chicks make decisons, going for the bad instead of the good but doing it willingly and aginst logic.

Really cool, BigBill and RonJuan. And I love that quote, Let's put our heads together and gang up on these ho's!

There have been times I've been rude to chicks, but it was only because I got tired of them trying to manipulate me. For example, I knew this chick who was real fine, and everybody, including me, let her know it. then of course she started acting like her **** didn't stink. So I became rude to her and told her stuff like, "I **** hotter girls than you on my worst day." She became more submissive to me almost instantly. No, we never had sex, but I moved away, so who knows what would've happened down the road.

Anyway, I don't think it should make anyone sad that being rude is sometimes necessary. Maybe it should make you sad that other people's behavior makes it necessary. Nothing sucks worse than not having control. Thanks to all you guys for giving me tips that help me get some control.

Powertrip · 01-10-2002, 09:04 PM

I dont agree with this theory, although it does have its applications.

Treating women like ****, in general, won't get you very far. You have to be slightly more delicate and sophisticated in your psychology towards them. Remember that once they get burned on someone who treats them like this, they arent likely to put up with it again. (unless you're hanging out in biker bars and like that sort)

Just be vague, hard to get in contact with, and lots of fun when you're around. It's that simple.

-Chris

Squy · 08-23-2002, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Powertrip:
I dont agree with this theory, although it does have its applications.

Treating women like ****, in general, won't get you very far. You have to be slightly more delicate and sophisticated in your psychology towards them. Remember that once they get burned on someone who treats them like this, they arent likely to put up with it again. (unless you're hanging out in biker bars and like that sort)

Just be vague, hard to get in contact with, and lots of fun when you're around. It's that simple.

-Chris

Absolutely, dudes you want to learn to be a jerk or a GOOD (not nice) guy? Althought the teori was funny to read, someone may get the wrong idea of treating women badly all the time and get sex from that...
btw, jerks can't keep their women.