Confidence is the key to women, but control is the key to confidence

Tantric · 02-24-2002, 03:36 PM

Eveyone says, be more confident...confidence is the key. True.

All of us at one point didn't have confidence when it came to women. With all the pressures of friends and society, we put a women up on that dreaded pedestal, and made them something they are not...above us.
To this day, yeah, I STILL get nervous when trying to pick up a girl. But I am in CONTROL of my feelings, therefore, it doesn't show.

One of the best quotes from the D.J. bible is to NOT put them on that pedastal, "girls eat, sleep, and crap, exactly the same as we do."

I carry that with me wherever I go, and when I see a girl I like, I remember the DJ bible, specifically that quote, and the girl doesn't seem too out of reach anymore. Of course you still have to have SOME confidence to appoach her.

Confidence is the key, but how does one GET confidence, or at least APPEAR to have confidence?

CONTROL.

CONTROL will get you that confidence.

Be in CONTROL of EVERYTHING you do. Your life, your job...be in control when approaching a girl, and DON'T CARE SO MUCH. It's not the end of the world when you don't get that number.

I am successful in my job. I am an actor, I own my own production company, and I have done EVERY job and hobby you could imagine. But I would not say I am a pefect 10. Hell who is? People have percieved me in 4 ways throghout my life...everything from Ugly, Okay, Cute, Hot - yet I haven't got a facelift or plastic surgury. So what was it?

I started getting the HOT term, when I started to realize that women LOVE a guy in CONTROL. I don't mean CONTROLLING her, but in CONTROL of himself. And in turn, that comes accross as CONFIDENCE.

I was 18 and a manager of a clothing store a couple of years ago. I had 4 girls working for me, and little did I know that EVERY one of them wanted me. And to be honest with you, I wasn't very successful with girls.

So "why" did they want me. I treated them like ordinary employees. I didn't put too much effort into "knowing" them. I kept business, business. Yet they wanted me. Was it because of looks?

No.

It was becasue I was in CONTROL.

To them I was their boss. I knew MORE than they did. I was the teacher. I was in CONTROL. My point of view when talking to these girls wasn't, "your so hot, I want you." It was, you're hot, but you're my employee. Case closed."

Outside of work, I couldn't get a girlfriend. I was shot down, I always seemed to be scared and nervous. My attitude toward girls were different in the "outside world". I had them on a pedestal.

A year later I produced a play. Again I was in CONTROL. One of the girls in the play I knew from school. I went for her a few months before, but she didn't like me. As soon as the play went underway...she was all over me. I didn't change, but my attitude towards HER did. To me, she was now a co-worker...my employee. Instead of being in this mindframe of "wanting" her. I was in CONTROL. She drove me home everyday, she was laughing at all my jokes...she even asked me if I wanted to fool around with her! 3 months before, she wouldn't give me the time of day.

What was the difference?

CONTROL.

Girls love it. And that CONTROL, assuming you are IN CONTROL, becomes confidence. Or at least appears to be.

Now, I have taken this CONTROL outside of my profession, to dating and girls specifically.

I took them off that pedastel, and brought them beneath me. I am the teacher.

I'll talk to a girl like a guy...and I'll talk to all of them.

When you approach a girl, all you have to do is take CONTROL of the situation.

Instead of working on CONFIDENCE, try working on CONTROL. Find what it is in your life that you are NOT in CONTROL of, and fix it. When you see that girl, realze that if you are NOT IN CONTROL, that perfect women could be gone forever. Realize that you could die tomorrow.

I asked a lot of women I know, and some girls who I just met on the street. And I asked them..."why would you give a guy your number?" 90% of the responses were...

"If he's cute and knows what he wants."

THAT'S IT!

So what have you got to lose?

Take CONTROL, walk up to that girl know what you want and talk to her like a PERSON, not a GODDESS.

You are the one on that pedestal.

You are the one in CONTROL.

[This message has been edited by Tantric (edited 02-24-2002).]

mahon83050 · 02-24-2002, 04:04 PM

Excellent post!! I also heard someone say try picturing a hot chick taking a dump or having diahhrhea....OR..this one is gross....having a thick cheesy discharge coming from her *****... to knock her off her pedestal.I used to get infatuated, but hopefully not any more!! I think your post belongs in the Hall of Fame!!!

Tantric · 02-24-2002, 05:52 PM

Yeah, i used to picture all those things...it really brings them down to a different level doesn't it?

Jester · 02-24-2002, 09:19 PM

wonderful post, cleared something up for me.

ESPN · 02-25-2002, 03:38 PM

Man, this is the greatest post l ever saw, man you just kick ass.
DJ Bible, Hall of fame, it deserves a DJ Oscar.

But there are only a problem, we all know that!

Don the Legend · 02-25-2002, 03:48 PM

Tantric,

Very good post.

I look forward to your future posts.

Thanks,

Legend

SlyDonJuan · 11-17-2002, 10:53 PM

Good post!.

But how do you feel about rejection? I feel so bad each time and I couldn't diminish it.! http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/frown.gif Is there a way we could definitely change the way we feel ? I dislike rejection, to tell you frankly and I dont like to risk my ego! I wish things would turn around some other time

jakeyboy · 08-31-2004, 08:49 PM

one of the most useful posts i've ever read! it really gave me the insight i needed to help with my own situation! thanks...

"when women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes. when women don't love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues.." - Balzac

big_jeffry · 09-01-2004, 06:12 PM

well said

Sterling the Runner · 09-05-2004, 03:18 PM

That should be in the bible!

Grandmaster Sexay · 09-05-2004, 03:26 PM

Wow what a post!. Thats one of the clearest post I have seen in a while. Definetley made me think more.

jiza101 · 09-05-2004, 05:44 PM

Good post man, reinforced some things i had forgotten to be doing. How can i take control talking to a chick in a class environment.

Sterling the Runner · 09-05-2004, 10:09 PM

Yeah How do U take control in a class enviroment???

chicksrock · 09-05-2004, 11:43 PM

SUPER DUPER post
best one i've read all week..
you've hit the nail on the head...

Heretolearn · 12-09-2005, 01:28 AM

thank you!

Rubber.Deal · 12-09-2005, 06:51 AM

Hi,
question about control:

If I woman asks me to do something on a date I don´t want to do (maybe karaoke) and I say persistently "no" is that control too or am I just a coward?

Or does this only depends in HOW I communicate my "no"?

Microphone Fiend · 07-23-2006, 08:20 PM

bump,.

Nzo · 07-24-2006, 12:53 AM

this should have 5 stars by it...

FM 3321 · 07-24-2006, 03:14 AM

Awesome and so true!

DarkLight · 07-24-2006, 04:35 AM

Excellent Chief.

I used to work as Personal Relations for a Beach Rest. during the summer. I had full and total control. Literally my job was to charm and finesse... taking control of situations and leading them to an enjoyable outcome for the company as well as the client.

With the clout of the position as well as the manner in which I lead... it all boiled down to the essence of your post. Women loved me because of "it."

Cheers once again......... DJB approved.