"LOVE" is a four letter word: the MASTER of all advice posts

rockon · 06-09-2001, 03:09 PM

I just wanna share what I've concluded through not only my own experiences but also from this board and Doc Love, who is unquestionably the genius of relationship advice for men.
I think we all grow up in this culture that idealizes "being in love": the sappy valentine's day routine, bringing your girl flowers with the cliched poems ("roses are red, violets are blue..."). So we all TRY to FALL IN LOVE when we meet a girl that we have the tiniest inkling that we like...WE TRY TO FORCE THE NEW RELATIONSHIP INTO A SAPPY ROMANCE STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MOVIES! And all this ends up doing is driving away your girl and breaking your heart, leaving you bitter and depressed.

SOLUTION: We have to realize life isn't a movie: just cause we may like a girl after a first date, or even after three, it DOESN'T mean she's good enough to be serious relationship material. Think of it as an interview to an EXTREMELY prestigious and important position: would you let some applicant who came in and had a good first interview immediately take the reins of a Fortune 500 company? Of course not! So why let your new girl have the prestigous position of "Your Woman" so easily??

1) By realizing this, you will automatically play a challenge and stimulate her interest enough to create a relationship so you can see if you two are right for each other. If you don't, you'll drive her off so quickly that you'll never know if the two of you were to be.

2) You avoid the pathetic cycle of falling hard for a new girl, leading to getting all sappy on her and smothering her, leading to her leaving you without the slightest bit of guilt and you feeling like your world has just ended.

CHALENGE GUY · 06-29-2001, 04:45 PM

excellent post

Neophyte · 06-30-2001, 07:19 AM

Very good reading material!
-Neo

Aztec · 07-01-2001, 01:07 PM

Great post!

quietstorm · 07-02-2001, 12:22 AM

I've been saying this so many years already and people criticized me...i think that a relationship is much like a business deal in work in so many ways.....

Squy · 07-30-2002, 06:03 AM

Bump

#2 sounds almost like me

THIAGO BRAZIL · 07-30-2002, 10:00 AM

Love is a seed that must grow, if the field is fertil it will grow, if there is liking between both, man and woman, it will be feed and it will grow in to a strong tree, and give fruits...

Great post http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/wink.gif

Nine Breaker · 07-30-2002, 09:14 PM

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
This post is wise,
Well done to you!

Love is a word that gets thrown around more than it should be these days, and the reason for this seems to be a lack of other options

Think about this: you can either dislike a woman, like her, or love her. Keep in mind that there is a HUGE difference between each of these choices. The difference between liking and loving could be measured in light years!

I think that most AFC's will say that they "love" a woman after [however long] because they think that it's the only place to go from liking her, and they don't understand the meaning of the word "love" to begin with. Naturally, any woman that knew what love really means would freak out that this guy is clinging to her like superglue after only a few dates.

Rockon, I like the message your post sends out: "Since love is a great thing to feel, many men try to 'convince' themselves into feeling it."

Top stuff.

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Since the moment of your birth, you have been destined to die. Nothing you can ever do will change this from happening.

However, you CAN change what will happen from now until then, but only if you dare to try.

DO YOU DARE?

Wolf in sheep's clothing · 07-30-2002, 11:21 PM

Yes, one of the best lessons I've learnt as part of shedding my AFC skin is that you can have a relationship with a woman that doesn't involve love.

Liking a girl who you are having sex with does not = love

Loving a girl who you are not having sex with = AFC

5 Stars

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"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'" - Homer J. Simpson

Pook · 07-31-2002, 02:18 AM

YOU are the Great Catch. The focus must be ON YOU. This alone will sail you through the fog of much inexperience, around the storms that so many other ships crack and sink in, and get you to your destination.

POOK

Bonhomme · 07-31-2002, 02:28 PM

Very well stated. Rock on!

Simon Iff · 07-31-2002, 10:37 PM

Great post! I agree completely that too many guys are learning about love and relationships from the wrong places, like whatever the latest romance movie is... instead of from learning from more experienced guys, like they can at this here great site, as they should be. Can only imagine the damage that Dawson's Creek will do to a generation of guys (at least the ones stupid enough to watch it).

Flyguy3663 · 08-02-2002, 10:18 AM

Dude this post is kinda scaring me. me and my gf have been goin out for like 2 1/2 months. steady for like 1 1/2 and the other night she said she loved me. now i really care about her a lot so i was like "i love you to". it feels weird now. i feel like guilty that i wanna mess around on her and i sorta feel like i'm in a marraige and it is making me a little uncomfortable. i don't wanna be mean or callous and tell her "look i said it but i didnt really mean it" but at the same time this is really bothering me and i dont know how to handle it. oh and we haven't fvcked yet. shes givin me head but no pvssy yet. i really care about her but not sure if i love her as a gf or as more of a friend?

maybe im just lookin for a way out of this so one of us doesn't get hurt. she like constantly checks out guys in front of me to and it kinda makes me wonder how "serious" this really is and if i should tell her i need some space.

any *GOOD* advice from a Master Dj would be appreciated. if you guys wanna analyze and break the post down that might help me see things how they really are from another guys perspective. Thanks

Dominus · 08-04-2002, 07:29 PM

Flyguy- I might not be a MDJ (though I've got the title), but I remember that with my first gf, back when I just found this site (yeah, its sad), we told each other that we loved the other within the first week. I dunno why, but we did. It started to eat me up, just like it is you, cuz I was still interested in other girls. I never really had time to mope over the problem, the relationship ended the next week. She goes through BFs like New England goes through weather, and complained that I wasn't showing her enough attention, so we broke up by mutual agreement (interestinly enough, her next BF got dumped cuz he showed her too much attention). Anyway, as interesting a topic I am, I'm rambling. http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/smile.gif

I think the problem is that people confuse caring and love. One girl i talk to alot says she loves me, and I say i love her, but we both know that we don't mean it in a romantic way Though she's said flat out that she wants to have sex with me, hmmm. Dammit, rambling about myself again.

I believe that the ancient Greek language had it right, it had (I believe), 3 different words for love. One for the kind of love you say when you're banging a chick (the word was something along the lines of eros). Another for the love between God and man. A last for familial love. I'm not 100% sure about the specifics, but the point is that they understood that there were differenct kinds and degrees of love.

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Yes, I'm arrogant, but if ever there was anyone who had a reason to be arrogant, it's me.

dominus84@aol.com

Simon Iff · 08-05-2002, 03:12 AM

Flyguy, DocLove talks a lot about what to do when a girl says "I love you"... his advice on this (if not all his advice) is spot on... you should read the following article...
http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove...ip_expert.html

- Simon Iff