Porn & Dating Women

[terminator911]

A Few Words of Advice About Pornography and Dating Single
Women

My focus this week is on pornography. You need to be aware that a lot
of single women are offended by pornography and think it is demeaning
to women, causes moral decay, rape, prostitution, etc.

So, to be on the safe side early in a relationship with a woman, it
would be wise to hide any pornographic photos, magazines, videos, sex
toys, etc. from her.

I would advise hiding it in a good place like the attic or locked up
in a trunk, file cabinet, etc. Don't hide it under your mattress or
under the bed or in your closet. You'd be surprised how women will
snoop around while you're not looking.

So what's the point of all this? If a girl you're dating is disgusted
and offended by porno and she accidently or purposely discovers
pornographic materials in your apartment or house, guess what message
that sends to her? She may think that you're some kind of pervert and
may be very offended. Offended to the point that she will not want to
date you anymore.

So guys, keep your porno out of sight until you get to know a woman
better and her viewpoints on pornography, sex toys, etc.

If she has nothing against pornography then you don't have to be so
discreet. But, if she is dead set against porno even after you have
established a serious relationship, just keep your stuff hidden (you
can always break it out when she's not around).

Don Diebel

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"Women. They've got half the money in the world and all the pu$$y."

[wutang180]

damn people still buy pornographic magazines . I keep all my porn inside my computer (lol) and if I know someone is going to snoop around my computer I just go to start---settings---task bar and star menu-and just clear all of my documents it's as simple as that. However, I really think that it's not cool buying porno. the best think to do is just download it for free on the internet. however looking at pornos is bad for u cuz it brings u in this fantasy land. So limit the amount of times u see it or just get out more. I look at porno on an average an hour out of the week,

[REd-xL]

You'd be surprised how much fun it is to actaully watch porn with a girl. My take on girls that don't like porn is that they're really uptight, no fun in the sack at all. I usually tend to steer clear of these non-adventurous, narrow-minded type of girls in the first place. But I'll be damned if they're the smart ones...

Rx

------------------
REd-xL (18)

"Life begins from this point on."

"It's the little things that matter most, and subtlety is the key to opening the
possibilities of making them happen."

"You control your own destiny, but the path you take determines your legacy."

[Ko-B]

Originally posted by wutang180:
however looking at pornos is bad for u ,

true that...have you seen that Friends episode when they had free porno...and then Chandler came home and said to Joey, "Man, I can't believe it! I met this really pretty girl at the teller at the bank today, and she didn't ask me to have sex with her inside the vault!!!" and Joey told Chandler, "Yeah, I know! Do you know what the really hot pizza delivery girl did today? She delivered the pizza, took the money, and LEFT!!"

tsk tsk...just watch out guys.

Originally posted by wutang180:
I look at porno on an average an hour out of the week,

i don't even look at porno, period. i'm sick of porno. p'z...

[Skyhawk]

I have discovered that watching porn with hard to get chicks, has never failed me yet.
A half hour of porn watching always get them in the mood for more then just hand holding. Try it and get back to me.

[This message has been edited by Skyhawk (edited 01-02-2002).]

[wise_mage]

Originally posted by Skyhawk:
I have discovered that watching porn with hard to get chicks, has never failed me yet.
A half hour of porn watching always get them in the mood for more then just hand holding. Try it and get back to me.

[This message has been edited by Skyhawk (edited 01-02-2002).]

how do u get them to watch porno with you? does anyone know how I can sop being addicted to porn?

[Iskandar Reza]

Originally posted by wise_mage:
does anyone know how I can stop being addicted to porn?

Make your own with the girl http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Throwing out your porn = more motivation to pick up women

[~UnDisputed~]

isnt hiding yer porn a givin. . .good idea not to put in under tha matress. chix go snoopin through yer all the time. . .so nosey. . .

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~rEpResEnt ThaT~

[VeryBadGirl]

Originally posted by REd-xL:
You'd be surprised how much fun it is to actaully watch porn with a girl. My take on girls that don't like porn is that they're really uptight, no fun in the sack at all. I usually tend to steer clear of these non-adventurous, narrow-minded type of girls in the first place. But I'll be damned if they're the smart ones...

Rx

I agree with RedXL. Find a woman that likes porn - you will be MUCH happier. You can keep porn around the house and she doesn't care if you look at it, you two can watch it together and act it out, you two can create your own porn. Chances are, she doesn't care if you go to a strip club with your buddies -as long as you don't touch http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/smile.gif, and, in general, she is going to be a more fun, experimental and easy-going woman. Or at least that is what I have observed from knowing women that like porn cvs those who hate it.

[UnluckynLuv]

true, true. I have not looked at porn in over two years. It got where i was using it to jerk off everyday. I lost my modivation to go lok for real women. I think you're better off without it.

Originally posted by wheelin&dealin:
Throwing out your porn = more motivation to pick up women

[Crank_It_Up]

some girls don't like the competition of cute perfect bodied porn queens willing to do anything anywhere...

if she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to read/watch it.

[KiInCollege]

Damn how'd you find this ancient post?

Girls that like to view porn with you are girls you want to be with. They are secure and they trust you. They admit that they touch themselves. They understand how we are. They're curious and interested in the art of sex. This is the girl you can have sex with for the rest of your life and be satisfied!

Use porn to screen your women today.




Okay wait until you're at least having sex with her first. Then it's definitely okay to check her interest in it.

[Speed Demond]

Hahahaha I can't Believe you Guys...all Affraid of a girl finding your porn...if she finds that ****t degrading it's cuz she's an uptight feminist...dudes , you don't want to go out with that. Damn i'v brought home the Most gorgeouse Ladies and i throw on porn and their like..wo..thats awsome...and yes it gets the in the mood. If a girl has a problem with that. **** her....what ever you enjoy you shouldn't sacrifice for no chick!!!!!!! Just watch all the porn you want and have all the magz you want and Enjoy!

[Sexy_Malibu]

Personally, I enjoy watching porn with guys. Although I am opposed to any pornography that involves rape, violence, children, or animals.

Here's something interesting to consider about porn... (from newyorkmetro.com):

The Porn Myth
In the end, porn doesn’t whet men’s appetites—it turns them off the real thing.

By Naomi Wolf

At a benefit the other night, I saw Andrea Dworkin, the anti-porn activist most famous in the eighties for her conviction that opening the floodgates of pornography would lead men to see real women in sexually debased ways. If we did not limit pornography, she argued—before Internet technology made that prospect a technical impossibility—most men would come to objectify women as they objectified porn stars, and treat them accordingly. In a kind of domino theory, she predicted, rape and other kinds of sexual mayhem would surely follow.

The feminist warrior looked gentle and almost frail. The world she had, Cassandra-like, warned us about so passionately was truly here: Porn is, as David Amsden says, the “wallpaper” of our lives now. So was she right or wrong?

She was right about the warning, wrong about the outcome. As she foretold, pornography did breach the dike that separated a marginal, adult, private pursuit from the mainstream public arena. The whole world, post-Internet, did become pornographized. Young men and women are indeed being taught what sex is, how it looks, what its etiquette and expectations are, by pornographic training—and this is having a huge effect on how they interact.

But the effect is not making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as “porn-worthy.” Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention.

Here is what young women tell me on college campuses when the subject comes up: They can’t compete, and they know it. For how can a real woman—with pores and her own breasts and even sexual needs of her own (let alone with speech that goes beyond “More, more, you big stud!”)—possibly compete with a cybervision of perfection, downloadable and extinguishable at will, who comes, so to speak, utterly submissive and tailored to the consumer’s least specification?

For most of human history, erotic images have been reflections of, or celebrations of, or substitutes for, real naked women. For the first time in human history, the images’ power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn.

For two decades, I have watched young women experience the continual “mission creep” of how pornography—and now Internet pornography—has lowered their sense of their own sexual value and their actual sexual value. When I came of age in the seventies, it was still pretty cool to be able to offer a young man the actual presence of a naked, willing young woman. There were more young men who wanted to be with naked women than there were naked women on the market. If there was nothing actively alarming about you, you could get a pretty enthusiastic response by just showing up. Your boyfriend may have seen Playboy, but hey, you could move, you were warm, you were real. Thirty years ago, simple lovemaking was considered erotic in the pornography that entered mainstream consciousness: When Behind the Green Door first opened, clumsy, earnest, missionary-position intercourse was still considered to be a huge turn-on.

Well, I am 40, and mine is the last female generation to experience that sense of sexual confidence and security in what we had to offer. Our younger sisters had to compete with video porn in the eighties and nineties, when intercourse was not hot enough. Now you have to offer—or flirtatiously suggest—the lesbian scene, the ejaculate-in-the-face scene. Being naked is not enough; you have to be buff, be tan with no tan lines, have the surgically hoisted breasts and the Brazilian bikini wax—just like porn stars. (In my gym, the 40-year-old women have adult pubic hair; the twentysomethings have all been trimmed and styled.) Pornography is addictive; the baseline gets ratcheted up. By the new millennium, a vagina—which, by the way, used to have a pretty high “exchange value,” as Marxist economists would say—wasn’t enough; it barely registered on the thrill scale. All mainstream porn—and certainly the Internet—made routine use of all available female orifices.

The porn loop is de rigueur, no longer outside the pale; starlets in tabloids boast of learning to strip from professionals; the “cool girls” go with guys to the strip clubs, and even ask for lap dances; college girls are expected to tease guys at keg parties with lesbian kisses à la Britney and Madonna.

But does all this sexual imagery in the air mean that sex has been liberated—or is it the case that the relationship between the multi-billion-dollar porn industry, compulsiveness, and sexual appetite has become like the relationship between agribusiness, processed foods, supersize portions, and obesity? If your appetite is stimulated and fed by poor-quality material, it takes more junk to fill you up. People are not closer because of porn but further apart; people are not more turned on in their daily lives but less so.

The young women who talk to me on campuses about the effect of pornography on their intimate lives speak of feeling that they can never measure up, that they can never ask for what they want; and that if they do not offer what porn offers, they cannot expect to hold a guy. The young men talk about what it is like to grow up learning about sex from porn, and how it is not helpful to them in trying to figure out how to be with a real woman. Mostly, when I ask about loneliness, a deep, sad silence descends on audiences of young men and young women alike. They know they are lonely together, even when conjoined, and that this imagery is a big part of that loneliness. What they don’t know is how to get out, how to find each other again erotically, face-to-face.

So Dworkin was right that pornography is compulsive, but she was wrong in thinking it would make men more rapacious. A whole generation of men are less able to connect erotically to women—and ultimately less libidinous.

The reason to turn off the porn might become, to thoughtful people, not a moral one but, in a way, a physical- and emotional-health one; you might want to rethink your constant access to porn in the same way that, if you want to be an athlete, you rethink your smoking. The evidence is in: Greater supply of the stimulant equals diminished capacity.

After all, pornography works in the most basic of ways on the brain: It is Pavlovian. An orgasm is one of the biggest reinforcers imaginable. If you associate orgasm with your wife, a kiss, a scent, a body, that is what, over time, will turn you on; if you open your focus to an endless stream of ever-more-transgressive images of cybersex slaves, that is what it will take to turn you on. The ubiquity of sexual images does not free eros but dilutes it.

Other cultures know this. I am not advocating a return to the days of hiding female sexuality, but I am noting that the power and charge of sex are maintained when there is some sacredness to it, when it is not on tap all the time. In many more traditional cultures, it is not prudery that leads them to discourage men from looking at pornography. It is, rather, because these cultures understand male sexuality and what it takes to keep men and women turned on to one another over time—to help men, in particular, to, as the Old Testament puts it, “rejoice with the wife of thy youth; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times.” These cultures urge men not to look at porn because they know that a powerful erotic bond between parents is a key element of a strong family.

And feminists have misunderstood many of these prohibitions.

I will never forget a visit I made to Ilana, an old friend who had become an Orthodox Jew in Jerusalem. When I saw her again, she had abandoned her jeans and T-shirts for long skirts and a head scarf. I could not get over it. Ilana has waist-length, wild and curly golden-blonde hair. “Can’t I even see your hair?” I asked, trying to find my old friend in there. “No,” she demurred quietly. “Only my husband,” she said with a calm sexual confidence, “ever gets to see my hair.”

When she showed me her little house in a settlement on a hill, and I saw the bedroom, draped in Middle Eastern embroideries, that she shares only with her husband—the kids are not allowed—the sexual intensity in the air was archaic, overwhelming. It was private. It was a feeling of erotic intensity deeper than any I have ever picked up between secular couples in the liberated West. And I thought: Our husbands see naked women all day—in Times Square if not on the Net. Her husband never even sees another woman’s hair.

She must feel, I thought, so hot.

Compare that steaminess with a conversation I had at Northwestern, after I had talked about the effect of porn on relationships. “Why have sex right away?” a boy with tousled hair and Bambi eyes was explaining. “Things are always a little tense and uncomfortable when you just start seeing someone,” he said. “I prefer to have sex right away just to get it over with. You know it’s going to happen anyway, and it gets rid of the tension.”

“Isn’t the tension kind of fun?” I asked. “Doesn’t that also get rid of the mystery?”

“Mystery?” He looked at me blankly. And then, without hesitating, he replied: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Sex has no mystery.”

[Señor Fingers]

Great post, Malibu.

Sums up my current feelings on porn. It also explains why so many young guys experience erectile dysfunction these days.

I guess a passionate kiss doesnt seem so passionate when you get used to watching a wide variety of women take it up the arse and get sploojed on repeatedly.

Can you say "de-sensitization"?

Another interesting thing about porn is that you associate your sexuality to a state of isolation. It becomes so private that you develop a weird sense of awkwardness/shame to share this intimacy with someone else. I know this is not the case with all guys, but I speak for myself and lots of my friends who have noticed this as well.

When I gave up my porn addiction, I noticed that my interactions with women became more charged. Plain old eye contact became a turn-on and physical touching was explosive!

The few times I succumbed to the porno urge afterwards, I noticed that my sex life would suffer a bit. Instead of creating a sensual rhythm with my woman and ascending to new heights of pleasure together, I was basically using her body to wack off. The result? So-so orgasms for me and not as much fun for her.

These experiences have taught me that moderation is key. If you are a porn-junkie and insist that it doesnt affect your love life, I encourage you to give it up for 2 weeks just to see what it does to you!

In regards to women discovering your fetishes, I have to disagree with the original poster. If you do watch porn occasionally you should not feel the need to hide your stash. Why make apologies for who you are? You should have no shame to ya game!

EDIT: Hmm, on second thought, if part of your stash includes "Barnyard B!tches & Hoes Volume 12" then mebbe you should keep it out of sight! (Or better yet BURN the damn thing and get some help!)

These days, I dont miss the skin flicks at all. Who needs porn when you have actual women, and a healthy imagination?

[dietzcoi]

Agree with most stated here but I do NOT agree that women wearing robes from head to toe such as in Saudi Arabia INCREASES sexuality. Far from it... those people have NO sex education nor do they learn as we do from the internet, books, etc. How can that be a satisfying sex life?

Besides, to live in a society where the women must hide their bodies and sexuality... terrible! Why live at all?

Seeing beautiful women is one of lifes great pleasures... anybody who is against that, is against everything good and decent.

Religious nuts!!!

Dietzcoi

[Sexy_Malibu]

[quote]Agree with most stated here but I do NOT agree that women wearing robes from head to toe such as in Saudi Arabia INCREASES sexuality. Far from it... those people have NO sex education nor do they learn as we do from the internet, books, etc. How can that be a satisfying sex life?

Besides, to live in a society where the women must hide their bodies and sexuality... terrible! Why live at all?

Seeing beautiful women is one of lifes great pleasures... anybody who is against that, is against everything good and decent.

Religious nuts!!!

DietzcoiQUOTE]

Well I wouldn't say "religious nuts" because that's just being ignorant and prejudice. They might just as easily call US nuts.

I don't think that women should be covered up or hide their sexuality, but it *is* true that the less you see, the more is left to the imagination. If you never see another woman naked, then seeing your own girlfriend/wife naked must be so much hotter than if you were bombarded by images of perfect porn stars all day long.

BUT I do agree that the example in the article (and other ways that women are covered up by fundamentalist religions) is an EXTREME example. Also, Fundamentalist Islam (and even Orthodox Judaism at times, as mentioned in the article) is a very patriarchial religion. In Saudi Arabia, the women are covered from head to toe, but not for reasons of sexuality. Women are oppressed in every way.