Just Play the Game

[DarkDream]

I was watching the movie, “The Legend of Bager Vance” and one phrase really struck me:

Golf is a game that can’t be won but only played.

It wasn’t until last night that I fully became to understand the full import of that statement.

For the first time in my life, I went up to a woman and asked her for her home phone number with no fear. I acted without reflection at all. She told me, “she couldn’t do that.” After I left with a smile on my face, I started to laugh, not because of her poor excuse, but because I didn’t honestly care if I got the number or not.

Like golf, you can never fully ever win with women. Women will do whatever they want, when they want, with who ever they want. Women can never be controlled, but what you can control is your emotions and response to her actions.

Me getting turned down, was secondary to fact that I asked this woman out with no reflection: I just did it. I responded appropriately with action to the situation and what I felt. This very act alone defined me as a man of action that could never be changed by her response or not. I took control of the situation by doing what I wanted do and what was true to me; I alone gave value to her.
I could not control her response, but I could control my action leading up to it. This was a powerful act, a successful act that overcame all my insecurities and left them behind.

The key to success is responding appropriately with action without regards of success or failure.

Dating, like golf, is just a game with funny rules and quirks. Once you start playing it for sake of it and not trying to win it or somehow come on top (because you can’t ever fully win it) then good things tend to happen. Ultimately it is the very desire to somehow succeed that ultimately causes you to fail.

Bager Vance in the movie, says, “There is only the hole, the ball and you.” When you begin to see that there is simply the woman, yourself and the movement of your mind and nothing else then the stark simplicity and beauty of situation unfolds before you. When you act there is no fear because successs and failure are immaterial in comparison to the act itself. You can not control the success of failure of the act, but you can control the act itself. In other words, why worry or give value to something (a woman) you can’t control but only influence?

It’s really that simple. Just play the game. Nothing more, nothing less.

Simple.



[This message has been edited by DarkDream (edited 01-19-2002).]

[stockholder]

Originally posted by DarkDream:
For the first time in my life, I went up to a woman and asked her for her home phone number with no fear. I acted without reflection at all. She told me, “she couldn’t do that.” After I left with a smile on my face, I started to laugh, not because of her poor excuse, but because I didn’t honestly care if I got the number or not.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA this is great DarkDream. And when you consider that succes comes with not taking things seriously everything gets so twisted... but funny

Nice! I was just gonna go out. This will definitely put a stupid but cocky smile on my face.

[stockholder]

.

[This message has been edited by stockholder (edited 01-28-2002).]

[Chubbs Peterson]

DarkDream,

Ever see the "Tao of Steve"?
Same sort of philosophy, except all about women.

[DarkDream]

Originally posted by Chubbs Peterson:
DarkDream,

Ever see the "Tao of Steve"?
Same sort of philosophy, except all about women.

Nope, I haven't. I may check it out sometime. This particular post I came up with on my own, and it is really just some further thoughts that relate to my post: "The Holy Grail of Dating."

--DD

[Piece_Maker]

excellent post...

[DarkDream]

It is really crazy. Check out this post by Pook:
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/002743.html

As for the no desire, we are saying the same thing. I know and feel I am on the right track.

--DD

[Odysseus]

THIS IS THE BEST GODDAMN POST I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY FREAKIN' LIFE!!!!!!!!

PUT THIS IN THE DJ BIBLE, MAKE IT AN ARTICLE, MAKE IT THE "GOD POST" IF YOU WANT!!!!

THERE IS NOT ONE POST IN THE WORLD THAT CAN TOP THIS ONE.

I'M SERIOUS AS HELL, THIS IS THE BEST POST I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THE BEST POST THERE EVER WILL BE!!!!

The Bhagavath Gita, thousands of years old said these very words.That movie is the movie that changed my life.

I'm putting this post in my signature!

DarkDream, I congratulate you, I think you've made the single greatest contribution to this board.

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

Seriously here,DarkDream. You are becoming like one of those true DJS like Anti-Dump,Pook,Doc Love and etc.

Congratulations for your good work! Maybe I might ask for your advice when I am down next time. http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/smile.gif

[KiInCollege]

Another excellent post, DD. Let me elaborate on your significant proverb.

The key to success is responding appropriately with action without regards of success or failure.

This statement is true, although unique to actions like the macking game or golf. Don't try this proverb in warfare or running for presidency.

You see, it's true because if you "succeed" and get her number, your future pleasure's potential has improved. However, if you "fail," your potential has still improved, because you are more experienced.

So go out there and holler at the hot girls, because you win either way, my friends.

------------------
My insecurities once fueled my life. Now I've nothing but burning passion.

"it tastes like buuurning." Ralph Wiggum

[This message has been edited by KiInCollege (edited 01-23-2002).]

[DarkDream]

This type of attitude has really removed fear from approaching women. It works.

--DD

[DIESEL]

Hey Dark Dream

We really should start a Nietzsche thread sometime... I read that long ass post you put once...pretty solid interpretration of old Friedrich.. consider this .... Zarathustra = the ultimate DJ ??? interesting..

The one thing that always bothered me about Nietzsche is that a lot of his philosophy (while I consider to be generally spot-on) was borne out of his utterly AFC-ish personal life...I mean this guy was utterly inept with women and people in general, but yet on paper comes across as something akin to a force of nature...a very interesting contrast.

One guy who truly talked the talk and walked the walk was Camus....now that guy was f---in DJ pimp...he was genius that partied hard, f---d mad women, and died fast...wrapping his souped up mercedes around a tree.....read his "the Rebel" or "The Myth of Sissyphus" for some other DJ perspectives....

anyway, DarkDream on to the point of this reply....the Tao of Steve:

1. Be Desireless

2. Be Excellent in her Presence

3. Disappear

peace,
-D

[kickman72]

WOW http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/eek.gif

------------------
The only certainty is uncertainty.

[~The_Chosen~]

Good, intuitive post.

two thumbs up

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~The_Chosen~ has spoken...

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is just not an act but a habit." - Aristotle

Judge a man by his questions and not his answers.

[( . )( . )]

Kapow

[oOh Nasty]

5 stars

[Don-Wan Kenobi]

Originally posted by DarkDream
The key to success is responding appropriately with action without regards of success or failure.

This should be used to preface the DJ Bible. So many of us go out there, feeling great and armed with the knowlege of this forum, and then let a few minor rejections deter us.

It seemed I got more action when I took a robotic approach to dating. If I may borrow a word from old, Doc Love, I had developed a "system" where I felt comfortable reacting appropriately to situations, regardless of whether or not they would bring me closer to or further from getting laid. This doesn't imply that I came across like an automaton with the women or that I gave up all hope of behaving spontaneously, I just had a firm grasp of our collective standards and ideas and decided before playing what the rules would be.

Very well put, DarkDream!

Bager Vance in the movie, says, “There is only the hole, the ball and you.”

ha ha! DJs take note! I don't think vance was talking about golf at that particular point in the film.

Excellent post

DWK

[high nrg]

yeah, "tao of steve". that is a great movie. Some stuff to pick up on. I always think about the "steve and stew" part, that puts a smile on my face. just something to remember if i need to smile

[disciple]

This is the kind of attitude that a true DJ has to have.

NO FEAR, NO REGRETS.

Great post man!!!

[Ricky]

I really like this post as well.

The good part about consider it a game is that we can always do things to improve our games.

I read a post recently where someone suggested that the DJ lifestyle is all about marketing.

I think that is true to a great extent.