scholarjan
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2012
- Messages
- 36
- Reaction score
- 2
I posted this in the discussion, and this is my self reflection after a month of cold approaching and building my game. I was pursuing women for the wrong reasons and now I set up my personal values regarding interactions from my romantic life.
Being a PUA/DJ is not about getting women and bedding hundreds of them one the first date or night out. It is a mindset, that is supposed to help men realize their self worth and potential. In this cut-throat dating society, women filter men aggressively, leaving many men shunned and rejected. We as men can either improvise or become losers and lick the scraps of women once, they are done having fun with all the "Nice Guys," and to my good fellows I SAY HELL NO. Therefore it is important to adopt a mindset that will not drive a man to the end of his wits because his "soul-mate," from the club doesn't want to go out with him. If giving a woman flower's, and other niceties would draw her to us, we men would gladly do it. However, women still cast aside these guys, if they are not into them and like any other human being will use them as a resource, nothing else and nothing more...degrading isn't it? This behavior is what evidently caused the rise of the Art of Seduction, and then PUA's.
This sounds cruel doesn't it? Don't think of it that way, think of it as "free market competition," women have a choice to select mates, like us men. We men are entrepreneurs of dating we risk our esteem in hopes of getting at least one woman. Therefore we must become like the Bill Gates/Gordon Gekko/pick a random character of dating, in order to boost it and not decrease it. These wealthy men didn't do their jobs just to get money, they did because they enjoyed it. If you can't enjoy talking to women, working on yourself, and becoming a better human being then it is best stop reading this thread.
Lesson 1. Approaching Women Should Not Be An Exercise
- Do not put meeting random women on a schedule unless you're making a date.
- If you encounter a woman and think she is interesting, strike up a casual conversation for fun!
- Don't be bummed out if she doesn't respond, give you her number/fake number. Just think about the fun you may have had, when you talked to that woman.
- If you didn't have fun when talking to her, then why waste more time by asking her on a date later on?
- Make it fun, not a "game."
Lesson 2. Realize Your Self Worth
- That's right buddy, average Joe Spudd has some charm.
- You may not be the most attractive man, but that shouldn't stop you from being hygienic, stylish, and interesting.
- Make a list on your personal values.
- Make a list on what you want to improve on.
Lesson 3. What Do You Want In A Woman
- A lot of men easily submit to women, since they want love, sex, and other nice benefit.
- Women screen men, in order to find their best suitor, so a man should do the same.
- High Quality women aren't necessarily the best looking ones, but the ones that resonate to your personality, and seem like genuine individuals who have a lot to offer besides their looks.
- Stop thinking of women as HB 1-10's, because of their looks. If they are attractive they are attractive, if not, then they are not.
- Make a list of attractive qualities you want in a woman, besides hot looks.
Lesson 4. Don't Forget Your Life's Passions
- A lot guys when in the game, we forget our what we are most passionate about
- Men sometimes place women on top of our hobbies, jobs, education, and other things that stick to you in life.
- If you don't have passions then find them. It should be a fun soul searching adventure!
Lesson 5. Don't Over Analyze
- Talking to women is not a science, its a social skill.
- Don't invest too much thought in a woman, its a recipe for disappointment.
- You CAN'T CREATE ATTRACTION, she either feels it or she doesn't. However seduction is a different story...but even that REQUIRES ATTRACTION
Lesson 6. Don't Give Up
- You may have been rejected 98 times, but the point is that you tried!
- You won't be able to understand all women, you can't generalize, different strokes for different folks, which is why rejections are high.
- It doesn't make you a weirdo to have more rejections than successes, it makes you a persistent individual, who may have a had bad luck or little itty bitty factors that in the end don't matter.
Lesson 7. Quit Those Derogatory Remarks About Women.
- Calling women *****es will project your mindset into thinking about them in this negative manner.
- Your subconscious may reveal this attitude during a conversation.
- Women are cute, silly, and unpredictable creatures of nature.
- Nobody is perfect, men do equally stupid crap as women do.
Lesson 8. Be Thorough ( Credit to Fly By Night)
- "Every time you talk to a woman, don't talk to her for the sole purpose of getting her number or bedding her. Talk to her with real interest and actually give a s*** about what she says. Rushing things only leads to failure and negative thinking. Virtually, don't become outcome dependent." - Fly By Night
- Act accordingly on the signals she is giving you.
- Women are subtle, but not that subtle, you will know when she wants you. Her actions speak louder than her words.
Lesson 9. Don't Be Afraid To Make Friends With Women
- If she rejected you romantically, you can still maintain a platonic relationship
- This by no means is a way to get her, but it allows you to learn more about social networking.
- It does not mean that you should kiss ass, it means have a good time with her without the sexual intimacy.
- Through her you may indirectly meet more interesting people that would make great friends/friends with benefits/girlfriends/ons etc.
- Don't force being friends with someone you can't absolutely stand!
Lesson 10. Be Aware Of Your Environment
- The setting could be used as interesting conversation starter.
- In a club, women are more likely to be receptive than in a grocery store, cafe, school, or hell even a funeral.
- Club receptiveness is more often than not sex material, not relationship material.
- If the environment relates to your hobbies, then quite possibly that cute girl over there might have similar interests.
I see too many men in this forum become misogynists rather than lovers of women. Hopefully this should shed light on how to possibly become a better lover, not a hater.
Being a PUA/DJ is not about getting women and bedding hundreds of them one the first date or night out. It is a mindset, that is supposed to help men realize their self worth and potential. In this cut-throat dating society, women filter men aggressively, leaving many men shunned and rejected. We as men can either improvise or become losers and lick the scraps of women once, they are done having fun with all the "Nice Guys," and to my good fellows I SAY HELL NO. Therefore it is important to adopt a mindset that will not drive a man to the end of his wits because his "soul-mate," from the club doesn't want to go out with him. If giving a woman flower's, and other niceties would draw her to us, we men would gladly do it. However, women still cast aside these guys, if they are not into them and like any other human being will use them as a resource, nothing else and nothing more...degrading isn't it? This behavior is what evidently caused the rise of the Art of Seduction, and then PUA's.
This sounds cruel doesn't it? Don't think of it that way, think of it as "free market competition," women have a choice to select mates, like us men. We men are entrepreneurs of dating we risk our esteem in hopes of getting at least one woman. Therefore we must become like the Bill Gates/Gordon Gekko/pick a random character of dating, in order to boost it and not decrease it. These wealthy men didn't do their jobs just to get money, they did because they enjoyed it. If you can't enjoy talking to women, working on yourself, and becoming a better human being then it is best stop reading this thread.
Lesson 1. Approaching Women Should Not Be An Exercise
- Do not put meeting random women on a schedule unless you're making a date.
- If you encounter a woman and think she is interesting, strike up a casual conversation for fun!
- Don't be bummed out if she doesn't respond, give you her number/fake number. Just think about the fun you may have had, when you talked to that woman.
- If you didn't have fun when talking to her, then why waste more time by asking her on a date later on?
- Make it fun, not a "game."
Lesson 2. Realize Your Self Worth
- That's right buddy, average Joe Spudd has some charm.
- You may not be the most attractive man, but that shouldn't stop you from being hygienic, stylish, and interesting.
- Make a list on your personal values.
- Make a list on what you want to improve on.
Lesson 3. What Do You Want In A Woman
- A lot of men easily submit to women, since they want love, sex, and other nice benefit.
- Women screen men, in order to find their best suitor, so a man should do the same.
- High Quality women aren't necessarily the best looking ones, but the ones that resonate to your personality, and seem like genuine individuals who have a lot to offer besides their looks.
- Stop thinking of women as HB 1-10's, because of their looks. If they are attractive they are attractive, if not, then they are not.
- Make a list of attractive qualities you want in a woman, besides hot looks.
Lesson 4. Don't Forget Your Life's Passions
- A lot guys when in the game, we forget our what we are most passionate about
- Men sometimes place women on top of our hobbies, jobs, education, and other things that stick to you in life.
- If you don't have passions then find them. It should be a fun soul searching adventure!
Lesson 5. Don't Over Analyze
- Talking to women is not a science, its a social skill.
- Don't invest too much thought in a woman, its a recipe for disappointment.
- You CAN'T CREATE ATTRACTION, she either feels it or she doesn't. However seduction is a different story...but even that REQUIRES ATTRACTION
Lesson 6. Don't Give Up
- You may have been rejected 98 times, but the point is that you tried!
- You won't be able to understand all women, you can't generalize, different strokes for different folks, which is why rejections are high.
- It doesn't make you a weirdo to have more rejections than successes, it makes you a persistent individual, who may have a had bad luck or little itty bitty factors that in the end don't matter.
Lesson 7. Quit Those Derogatory Remarks About Women.
- Calling women *****es will project your mindset into thinking about them in this negative manner.
- Your subconscious may reveal this attitude during a conversation.
- Women are cute, silly, and unpredictable creatures of nature.
- Nobody is perfect, men do equally stupid crap as women do.
Lesson 8. Be Thorough ( Credit to Fly By Night)
- "Every time you talk to a woman, don't talk to her for the sole purpose of getting her number or bedding her. Talk to her with real interest and actually give a s*** about what she says. Rushing things only leads to failure and negative thinking. Virtually, don't become outcome dependent." - Fly By Night
- Act accordingly on the signals she is giving you.
- Women are subtle, but not that subtle, you will know when she wants you. Her actions speak louder than her words.
Lesson 9. Don't Be Afraid To Make Friends With Women
- If she rejected you romantically, you can still maintain a platonic relationship
- This by no means is a way to get her, but it allows you to learn more about social networking.
- It does not mean that you should kiss ass, it means have a good time with her without the sexual intimacy.
- Through her you may indirectly meet more interesting people that would make great friends/friends with benefits/girlfriends/ons etc.
- Don't force being friends with someone you can't absolutely stand!
Lesson 10. Be Aware Of Your Environment
- The setting could be used as interesting conversation starter.
- In a club, women are more likely to be receptive than in a grocery store, cafe, school, or hell even a funeral.
- Club receptiveness is more often than not sex material, not relationship material.
- If the environment relates to your hobbies, then quite possibly that cute girl over there might have similar interests.
I see too many men in this forum become misogynists rather than lovers of women. Hopefully this should shed light on how to possibly become a better lover, not a hater.
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