Learn how to talk to women. Seriously.

Naughty Ninja · 06-01-2012, 12:31 AM

A good piece of advice is to drop the "Alpha" phonyness when talking to chicks by trying to 'one up' them and try talking to them like a normal person.

Sure you can be funny at times. Just don't come off as a not serious clown or someone putting on some "Alpha" act.

Don't take nonsense, but don't overdo the "I'm the prize" crap. Chicks have heard everything and you don't want to be another Muppet.

Notice how many regular dudes can effortlessly talk to chicks without putting on an act. It happens on a daily basis in front of your eyes and ears. Learn from them. No PUA B.S needed.

War Against Betaism · 06-01-2012, 12:42 AM

100% agreed. I've been absent from this board for close to 2 years and it's done me so much good staying away from it. This need to uphold being an "Alpha" male is so phony, like who cares? One of the greatest things I've learned is exactly what you touched upon, not one upping women.

I used to do that all the time and women would feel distant of me or they would think that I wasn't being serious with them. When I stopped doing that I noticed that I was able to connect with them much easier and it made it easier to sleep with them.

Now I'm half expecting to get blasted for this post for failing a woman's ****tests and being called a chump from the cult of alpha male supremacy.

Damian · 06-01-2012, 04:03 AM

Agreed. Put down the "alpha" act because you won't be able to keep it up forever. As soon as somebody realizes it was just an act, they'll just be disappointed and pissed that you tried to deceive them. By no means should you not learn from your mistakes and improve, but you still truly have to be yourself.

If you want to form a lasting relationship of any kind with any person, the relationship has to be based upon a bond of trust. If somebody can't even trust you to be who you seem to be why the hell would they even waste their time?

Stop trying to get the edge and learn how to enjoy the company of another feeling, thinking, breathing human being. You'll be a lot happier when you realize that it's not always about 'winning'.

Chamber36 · 06-01-2012, 04:49 AM

I agree as well. But I'd have to say the tightrope these guys are trying to walk acting alpha, putting up a show, and essentially qualifying themselves to women for their ego, is all about giving off the idea that you've been there before. When a chick gives you a line, you have to say: "That's not the first time someone told me that!".

There is humor to it and there is a certain degree of alphaness to it, but that's all because it comes with experience.

That's why I say it's best to study women in their natural environment and see how they talk to each other and how they treat their boyfriends, friends, parents, whoever. When you see an anomoly, look it up.

But there's no point acting like you've been there if you haven't. They say "fake it till you make it", but that's a pile of crap. Everyone has that Don Juan inside him, we were all born with it. We all have an urge to procreate and in other circumstances we (the ones of us that aren't doing too well) would be doing much better. The problem is that in this time and place we might not know how to bring forth the tools that we need to deal with situations.

If you get a mistake and you get upset, just be glad about the fact that you're trying to get yourself in order. There are guys that marry their highschool sweetheart and after 6 years they suddenly make a huge mistake that he could have already made on some barskank if he was willing to put in the time. The point I'm trying to make is, we should all just go out and have fun firstly, and then secondly just go out and probe hot girls and see what they have to offer us or vice versa. All it's about is getting to know each other. It's very primal really.

DJerk · 06-01-2012, 06:11 AM

Thanks Naughty Ninja, I was planning on signing up for an engineering class so I could learn how to make bridges and sky scrapers, but have now decided to drop that idea and learn how to talk to women instead. I think the occasional validation and one night stands will out weigh the stupid rewards that come from a rich education and career, such as money, respect, status, confidence. That was a close one.

Naughty Ninja · 06-01-2012, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJerk

Thanks Naughty Ninja, I was planning on signing up for an engineering class so I could learn how to make bridges and sky scrapers, but have now decided to drop that idea and learn how to talk to women instead. I think the occasional validation and one night stands will out weigh the stupid rewards that come from a rich education and career, such as money, respect, status, confidence. That was a close one.

LMMFAO! Keep up the good work trollololol boy we need more BigJimbo's A.K.A B.J and Djerkers on here for teh LULZ!

I'd rather read troll posts than some of the crap from the 'serious' dudes here. Srs.

MrNiceGuy23 · 06-01-2012, 05:05 PM

It all depends on your interpretation of alpha. The way you phrase it makes me think you're equating "alpha" with "douche" lol.

To me, being alpha just means being confident and while not "one-upping" women to seem superior but displaying this confidence and showing that if the woman rejects you, it doesn't bother you and it won't disappoint you.

Nobody likes being talked down to, so that type of "alpha" never gets women. I just think you should show interest when talking to the girl, be funny, be confident in your looks and abilities, but don't seem desperate by hanging on everything she says and display the fact that theres many other women in the world so he rejection isn't the end of the world.

War Against Betaism · 06-01-2012, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrNiceGuy23

It all depends on your interpretation of alpha. The way you phrase it makes me think you're equating "alpha" with "douche" lol.

To me, being alpha just means being confident and while not "one-upping" women to seem superior but displaying this confidence and showing that if the woman rejects you, it doesn't bother you and it won't disappoint you.

Nobody likes being talked down to, so that type of "alpha" never gets women. I just think you should show interest when talking to the girl, be funny, be confident in your looks and abilities, but don't seem desperate by hanging on everything she says and display the fact that theres many other women in the world so he rejection isn't the end of the world.

What the OP was trying to get at is for people to stop centering their mindset at "trying" to be Alpha. True alphas don't have to put on an act, that's just their personality. Others think they're employing an alpha mindset when they one up women, winning all these small battles of subtlety that don't even mean much but end up losing the war because in the end they try adopting a mindset that isn't them. It's phony.

MrNiceGuy23 · 06-01-2012, 05:22 PM

That makes more sense now. Only be alpha if you are alpha, you can't put on the act forever.

Naughty Ninja · 06-01-2012, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrNiceGuy23

That makes more sense now. Only be alpha if you are alpha, you can't put on the act forever.

There's no 'being Alpha'.

You simply don't take people's nonsense, yet don't be a fraud 'Alpha'.

Fvck that "Alpha" word period gives me teh lulz.

Just talk to people normally, become the best person you can be in life, dress your best, and work out. (It not only helps but you look, feel and become more healthy.) There are countless dudes in real life who've never heard of this site and have no trouble meeting chicks, dating, banging etc.

Not everyone is going to like everyone. It's just the way it is. That's life. Deal with it. Most normal people do.

ilikecharlene · 06-02-2012, 04:48 PM

I agree to an extent. But somebody can speak well with a man, then why not with a woman? I think our society twists men to think of women differently, it's not healthy.

Ihateinitiatingalot7 · 06-06-2012, 02:32 PM

so the guys who have been great, successful at knowing how to approach and talk to women at an early age, they just grew up more social or what?

Young Stallion · 06-06-2012, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ihateinitiatingalot7

so the guys who have been great, successful at knowing how to approach and talk to women at an early age, they just grew up more social or what?

They were better looking kids growing up, so they got treated more positively in social interactions which filled them with confidence. The same thing happened when they talked to girls, the young girls liked them because they were better looking therefor they became more confident based on how they were treated.

Mike32ct · 06-06-2012, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Young Stallion

They were better looking kids growing up, so they got treated more positively in social interactions which filled them with confidence. The same thing happened when they talked to girls, the young girls liked them because they were better looking therefor they became more confident based on how they were treated.

Yeah, generally. Or they were friends with popular people and had a good social circle. Or getting into sports early on made them popular.

Less attractive or less popular guys faced more rejections from girls so they withdrew. I don't mean that these guys necessarily approached many girls, but these guys didn't get invited to parties, got excluded from conversations with girls, etc. They were ostracized in some way, so they stayed shy/quiet. You don't keep trying to touch the hot stove. After a few burns, you stay away from it.

Tryingtoimprove · 06-06-2012, 10:13 PM

How bout instead of building a false ego over nothing but narcissm we all became worthwhile men and then based our confidence on that?

Seems hypocritical how much everyone complains about all the luny women who think they're hot sh1t princesses and then strategize how to pretend be hot sh1t "alpha males."

ganda1f91 · 06-07-2012, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike32ct

Less attractive or less popular guys faced more rejections from girls so they withdrew. I don't mean that these guys necessarily approached many girls, but these guys didn't get invited to parties, got excluded from conversations with girls, etc. They were ostracized in some way, so they stayed shy/quiet. You don't keep trying to touch the hot stove. After a few burns, you stay away from it.

You hit the nail on the head. This was me until fairly recently, still working my way out of that habit and mentality actually... Gets harder once you're already behind the curve, but it really does help me at times to view it as a fun, engaging challenge to try and better myself and augment my game.

Naughty Ninja · 06-07-2012, 01:17 AM

I was that shy kid when I was younger. I made friends easily but when it came to chicks it seemed no matter what I did (and I'm not talking pedestalizing chicks either)...there was always someone who they liked just a little bit more. That's actually happened most of my life. The thing I've learned from it is you can only be the best person you can be and work out, dress your best, strive to improve every aspect of your life and not try to be some fraudulent 'alpha'.

Learn to talk to chicks like a normal person. Don't be a pushover or a doormat nor try to be someone you're not. You have to get that weight off your shoulders and realize that you can't control chicks and not every one of them is going to like you or you'll simply drive yourself insane. That's just the way it is.

06-01-2012, 12:31 AM	#1
Naughty Ninja Banned Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Banned Age: 43 Posts: 2,499	Learn how to talk to women. Seriously. A good piece of advice is to drop the "Alpha" phonyness when talking to chicks by trying to 'one up' them and try talking to them like a normal person. Sure you can be funny at times. Just don't come off as a not serious clown or someone putting on some "Alpha" act. Don't take nonsense, but don't overdo the "I'm the prize" crap. Chicks have heard everything and you don't want to be another Muppet. Notice how many regular dudes can effortlessly talk to chicks without putting on an act. It happens on a daily basis in front of your eyes and ears. Learn from them. No PUA B.S needed.

06-01-2012, 12:42 AM	#2
War Against Betaism Master Don Juan Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: California Age: 23 Posts: 1,615	100% agreed. I've been absent from this board for close to 2 years and it's done me so much good staying away from it. This need to uphold being an "Alpha" male is so phony, like who cares? One of the greatest things I've learned is exactly what you touched upon, not one upping women. I used to do that all the time and women would feel distant of me or they would think that I wasn't being serious with them. When I stopped doing that I noticed that I was able to connect with them much easier and it made it easier to sleep with them. Now I'm half expecting to get blasted for this post for failing a woman's ***tests and being called a chump from the cult of alpha male supremacy. __________________ - He who cares the least controls the most.* - If she really liked you she wouldn't be busy.

06-01-2012, 04:03 AM	#3
Damian Senior Don Juan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: San Diego, CA Age: 23 Posts: 448	Agreed. Put down the "alpha" act because you won't be able to keep it up forever. As soon as somebody realizes it was just an act, they'll just be disappointed and pissed that you tried to deceive them. By no means should you not learn from your mistakes and improve, but you still truly have to be yourself. If you want to form a lasting relationship of any kind with any person, the relationship has to be based upon a bond of trust. If somebody can't even trust you to be who you seem to be why the hell would they even waste their time? Stop trying to get the edge and learn how to enjoy the company of another feeling, thinking, breathing human being. You'll be a lot happier when you realize that it's not always about 'winning'. __________________ Striking a balance between heart and mind.

06-01-2012, 04:49 AM	#4
Chamber36 Master Don Juan Join Date: Feb 2011 Age: 23 Posts: 914	I agree as well. But I'd have to say the tightrope these guys are trying to walk acting alpha, putting up a show, and essentially qualifying themselves to women for their ego, is all about giving off the idea that you've been there before. When a chick gives you a line, you have to say: "That's not the first time someone told me that!". There is humor to it and there is a certain degree of alphaness to it, but that's all because it comes with experience. That's why I say it's best to study women in their natural environment and see how they talk to each other and how they treat their boyfriends, friends, parents, whoever. When you see an anomoly, look it up. But there's no point acting like you've been there if you haven't. They say "fake it till you make it", but that's a pile of crap. Everyone has that Don Juan inside him, we were all born with it. We all have an urge to procreate and in other circumstances we (the ones of us that aren't doing too well) would be doing much better. The problem is that in this time and place we might not know how to bring forth the tools that we need to deal with situations. If you get a mistake and you get upset, just be glad about the fact that you're trying to get yourself in order. There are guys that marry their highschool sweetheart and after 6 years they suddenly make a huge mistake that he could have already made on some barskank if he was willing to put in the time. The point I'm trying to make is, we should all just go out and have fun firstly, and then secondly just go out and probe hot girls and see what they have to offer us or vice versa. All it's about is getting to know each other. It's very primal really. __________________ One of the objectives of a true mack is to constantly add new "pieces" to that "puzzle" so that the woman will continue to be interested in his "game." - Tariq "K-Flex" Nasheed, The Art of Mackin'

06-01-2012, 06:11 AM	#5
DJerk Banned Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 10	Thanks Naughty Ninja, I was planning on signing up for an engineering class so I could learn how to make bridges and sky scrapers, but have now decided to drop that idea and learn how to talk to women instead. I think the occasional validation and one night stands will out weigh the stupid rewards that come from a rich education and career, such as money, respect, status, confidence. That was a close one.

06-01-2012, 05:05 PM	#7
MrNiceGuy23 Don Juan Join Date: May 2012 Age: 21 Posts: 163	It all depends on your interpretation of alpha. The way you phrase it makes me think you're equating "alpha" with "douche" lol. To me, being alpha just means being confident and while not "one-upping" women to seem superior but displaying this confidence and showing that if the woman rejects you, it doesn't bother you and it won't disappoint you. Nobody likes being talked down to, so that type of "alpha" never gets women. I just think you should show interest when talking to the girl, be funny, be confident in your looks and abilities, but don't seem desperate by hanging on everything she says and display the fact that theres many other women in the world so he rejection isn't the end of the world.

06-01-2012, 05:22 PM	#9
MrNiceGuy23 Don Juan Join Date: May 2012 Age: 21 Posts: 163	That makes more sense now. Only be alpha if you are alpha, you can't put on the act forever.

06-02-2012, 04:48 PM	#11
ilikecharlene Senior Don Juan Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 340	I agree to an extent. But somebody can speak well with a man, then why not with a woman? I think our society twists men to think of women differently, it's not healthy.

06-06-2012, 02:32 PM	#12
Ihateinitiatingalot7 Senior Don Juan Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 204	so the guys who have been great, successful at knowing how to approach and talk to women at an early age, they just grew up more social or what?

06-06-2012, 10:13 PM	#15
Tryingtoimprove Don Juan Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 19	How bout instead of building a false ego over nothing but narcissm we all became worthwhile men and then based our confidence on that? Seems hypocritical how much everyone complains about all the luny women who think they're hot sh1t princesses and then strategize how to pretend be hot sh1t "alpha males."

06-07-2012, 01:17 AM	#17
Naughty Ninja Banned Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Banned Age: 43 Posts: 2,499	I was that shy kid when I was younger. I made friends easily but when it came to chicks it seemed no matter what I did (and I'm not talking pedestalizing chicks either)...there was always someone who they liked just a little bit more. That's actually happened most of my life. The thing I've learned from it is you can only be the best person you can be and work out, dress your best, strive to improve every aspect of your life and not try to be some fraudulent 'alpha'. Learn to talk to chicks like a normal person. Don't be a pushover or a doormat nor try to be someone you're not. You have to get that weight off your shoulders and realize that you can't control chicks and not every one of them is going to like you or you'll simply drive yourself insane. That's just the way it is.