Cultivating a Positive Mindset.
First of all I would like to make it clear in this post I am not going to talk about specific strategies(kino, negging, being agressive or passive ect...) that may seem to be contrary to what I am about to say. In fact I don't think they are contrary at all, but are situation specific, kino particularly is essential. What I will try to convey to you is a way of cultivating a mindset that will allow you more opportunities to apply those situational strategies.
I am a poker player and have recently finished reading a book by Mike "The Mad Genius" Caro. One of the things that he talks about in his book is having a having a positive mindset is not only good for your mental health but it also contributes to your success at the poker table and is profitable.
This is something that struck me as something that not only applies to poker, but to many aspects of life, including meeting women and dating.
One of the points he makes is about not talking about bad things that have happened to him at the poker table. When you talk about the the bad things that have happened to you, it reinforces a negative mindset/belief. Not only that but the people listening to you begin to for an opinion of you that is not to your advantage. Also, having a negative mindset will mean you are spending a lot of mental energy with no good return.
When you are worried about getting a number, or whether or not so likes you, or if you are going to get rejected again, you are getting bogged down by negative thoughts and focusing on the wrong things.
How this translates to meeting women for example, well if you complain about getting rejected a lot, then that's going to reinforce negative beliefs about your self and the people who are listening to your complaints are going to see you as the guy that gets turned down a lot. This lessens the chance that those people are going to want to date you.
If you look at rejection in a positive light, it's going to reinforce a positive mindset, you are not going to complain about it. If you are getting turned down a lot, it simply means that you have the balls to approach a lot. Who is going to complain about having balls?
As Caro says in his book, you need to focus on long term profitability. What that means in part is that you should be focusing less on short term results such as the ones I just mentioned, and start focusing on things like making your interactions with others more positive experiences. Having a positive mindset also makes it a lot easier for you to convey an image that that people can be comfortable with.
However, it's not enough for people to be comfortable with you, they also have to think that you are a little bit wild and unpredictable. You don't have to go out and get a tattoo or beat someone up to do this. All you really need to do is stop caring about the results of each individual situation as long as you are having positive interaction. And if that particular interaction wasn't positive then it's still not a big deal because the next one will be with another person.
Think about who you rather invite to a party or a night out. Are you going to wanna hang out with your buddy that is always having a good time and making sure others do to, or are you going invite your friend that is frustrated all the time and always whining about something or other.
I know who I would invite out. I know that those two examples are extreme, but you have to ask yourself which guy would you rather be?
Cultivating a positive mindset can and usually is the difference between being the guy who has trouble with women and being the guy who is a force to be reckoned with.
Don't go Ninjerin' nobody that don't need Ninjerin', alrighty?
Originally Posted by Zarky
Your moral decay is my Saturday night.