Moving out the "friends zone"

mayfair · 04-15-2012, 11:16 PM

Ive got this female friend who over the last couple of months have started to see in a tottaly different light, I have went from not looking at her in any kind of romatic sense too seeing her as top notch g/f material

Shes always been a looker but just far to scatty/unpredictable for me to consider risking what is a solid friendship for a bit of slap and tickle/casual sex (which i seem to be able to find elsewhere without any trouble

)

Over the past while ive noticed slight changes in the way she acts towards me, plenty more eye contact, glancing at me when she thinks im not lookin and mirroring my body language so there is some signs there but last week i got rather intoxicated and sent a rather drunk txt saying "the ballbags ive seen u with dont deserve the attention u give them, u deserve better " (there was more to it than that but she picks players)

As my predicament stands, ive got the hotts for her, she knows it and flirts back yet ive still not made a move!?!? Usually with a new chick i just go in all guns blazing with the dont give a **** attitude and it pays dividends, I think its the feeling of having something to lose before opening my mouth that stops me

After reading back what ive just written my advice to myself would be "Drink a warm, tall glass of man the **** up and make a move biaatch"

Never found myself in a situation like it before

So have u moved out the "friends zone", how did u do it and was it worth the ****ing hassle? Any advice appreciated fellow dons!

cablecow15 · 04-15-2012, 11:28 PM

short answer , no and no , the time you will spend figuring out yourself you could already have new better pu$$ , the only reason people avoid it is getting another girl is out of their comfort zone

Zarky · 04-15-2012, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mayfair

me to consider risking what is a solid friendship for a bit of slap and tickle/casual sex (which i seem to be able to find elsewhere without any trouble

)

You're not foolin' anybody. How old are you? Early 20s?

mayfair · 04-15-2012, 11:52 PM

yee have little faith zarky, im 24 and not an epic swordsman by any stretch of the imagination but i do have a fairly useful characteristic of meeting incredibly easy women plus factor in my fairly low standards of who i will stick my **** in = getting laid

Packers2010 · 04-16-2012, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mayfair

So have u moved out the "friends zone", how did u do it and was it worth the ****ing hassle? Any advice appreciated fellow dons!

when i say this is the short answer. I have written 10 pages on this. ( my oneitis girl)

have you moved out of the " friendzone"

yes i have moved out of the friendzone.

how did i do it you ask?

by pure chance. she was coming of a 3 year relationship and I was the ONLY option available. she really didn't know any other guys she could call or **** to get validation ( me being in love her her for the past 7 years prier to when we had sex. i was a total afc at the time also) from. i was there. so i was the quickest choice. not the best.

was it worth the hassle?

she was my best friend at the time. i felt a great connection to her and she did the same. though because i was needy and desperate. she didn't like me at all.

maybe if i got better i could have done better at the time. but who knows.

really what i should have done is been her friend first and foremost. what i did was call her a slut for getting with another guy even though we wasn't together and out friendship imploded. it was wrong of me to do that and i should have been happy for her. i could have EASY used her as a pivot while going out because she went out a lot, she could have helped me in the game and in clubs and bars. but i ****ed it up.

to answer your questions.

in a sense it was good that it happened the way it did because now i am free and i don't talk to her there for i can't love her any more. though i do miss my best friend.

SoSuave666 · 04-16-2012, 11:11 AM

Part of the allure for a female is the aspect of mystery. Since she is one of your friends already, much of your mystery is gone. If she is attracted to you, then it is because she likes who you ARE. She knows how you interact with women and she probably wants you to treat her the same way. If you usually go in "guns a blazin" then do it with her. Because you already have rapport built with this woman any deviation from your norm will be a turnoff.

bigneil · 04-16-2012, 11:22 AM

While the word "friend" is bad, it's not always the end. There are a few ways to handle the friend zone:

1) Put your foot down and say no to LJBF (if you've never had sex). This is the normal course of action.

OR

2) Accept it and start to tell her about your other (legitimate, hot) dates in hopes to make her jealous (if you've already established something with her).

OR

3) Call her bluff, tell her you were hoping you could just be friends but thought she would be hurt (if you've already had sex with her).

OR

4) Beat her to the punch: LJBF her! This can work wonders. Her reaction will also help you to call her bluff in the future.

Konada · 04-16-2012, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mayfair

Ive got this female friend who over the last couple of months have started to see in a tottaly different light, I have went from not looking at her in any kind of romatic sense too seeing her as top notch g/f material

Shes always been a looker but just far to scatty/unpredictable for me to consider risking what is a solid friendship for a bit of slap and tickle/casual sex (which i seem to be able to find elsewhere without any trouble

)

Over the past while ive noticed slight changes in the way she acts towards me, plenty more eye contact, glancing at me when she thinks im not lookin and mirroring my body language so there is some signs there but last week i got rather intoxicated and sent a rather drunk txt saying "the ballbags ive seen u with dont deserve the attention u give them, u deserve better " (there was more to it than that but she picks players)

As my predicament stands, ive got the hotts for her, she knows it and flirts back yet ive still not made a move!?!? Usually with a new chick i just go in all guns blazing with the dont give a **** attitude and it pays dividends, I think its the feeling of having something to lose before opening my mouth that stops me

After reading back what ive just written my advice to myself would be "Drink a warm, tall glass of man the **** up and make a move biaatch"

Never found myself in a situation like it before

So have u moved out the "friends zone", how did u do it and was it worth the ****ing hassle? Any advice appreciated fellow dons!

Funny coincidence I was in the exact same situation with my oneitis 2 years ago. Decide whether you want to stay as friends or be something more, cos I'm pretty damn sure that attraction from her won't last for long if you don't make a move soon.

Are you willing to lose her as a friend? That's the real question you should be asking before you venture into anything further.

Single4Life · 04-16-2012, 05:13 PM

Stop showing up everyday

Start being aloof with her

start doing romantic things to her. give her romantic gift, that is CLEAR is a -romantic- gift, not a friendship one.

have all your conversations with her be short and flirty.

do this for a bit and you will be out of the friend zone

LCommander · 04-16-2012, 05:16 PM

Why not kino? It does wonders for me, even women in relationship become more 'receptive' and reciprocate it. I even have problems keeping women as friends by becoming so touchy and sexual to them. This is all after learning about ss and becoming a DJ.

GhengisT · 04-16-2012, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigneil

4) Beat her to the punch: LJBF her! This can work wonders. Her reaction will also help you to call her bluff in the future.

This works! I pulled it a few weeks ago.

Alle_Gory · 04-16-2012, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cablecow15

short answer , no and no , the time you will spend figuring out yourself you could already have new better pu$$ , the only reason people avoid it is getting another girl is out of their comfort zone

You are completely wrong. Time figuring out oneself is the most valuable of all. You can't be a very effective man if you don't understand yourself, your own weaknesses and you own passions.

I say do it. Don't be a pvssy and don't set your hopes on this one girl. It's unfair to her and it's stupid to put your eggs in one basket. Have options until you make a decision, and even then, have options available. You don't have to follow up on those options, you just have to have them available.

Get what I'm saying? Be ready to leave ANY girl at a moment's notice if you absolutely must. Choose not to, try and work things out, but have an escape plan because you never really know.

self-respect · 04-16-2012, 11:43 PM

My friend zone success story took several months and big shake-ups. HB 8.5 was in my social circle of friends. I was a complete AFC when I met her, instantly tried to become friends with her and I was the one pushing the issue instead of attracting and pulling. About a year later, discovered this site and started working on myself and positive masculinity. Focused on other women. At the same time, stopped being a little ***** for HB 8.5 and went complete NC despite having near-ONEitis level hots for her by this point. Damn she looked good when she showed off skin. Anyway, stopped checking up on her. Conversation completely dried up within a month and it was obvious what my message was to her - it was a "friends grow apart" scenario where I was happy with my life and she was happy with hers. Ran into her a few times over the next 2-3 months at parties and focused on myself. Talked to her, made her laugh and flirted, but then moved on and had fun. Slowly became more and more sexual with the flirting so that when I saw her, I'd be sexual and I wouldn't talk to her outside of that time in person. This wasn't the joking around type of sexual humor between friends, it was the suggestive eye contact, possibly serious vibe. I combined this with showing high value in her presence with the same set of friends. This happened naturally but was instrumental. Girls remember old interactions and details like hawks, but once you plant that seed of intrigue into their mind things turn around pretty well. She started asking me how I'd been, saying she didn't see me much anymore, saying all the things she didn't even think about saying when she thought I was an AFC and disposable. Once I had the frame back in my hand, I just carried on like it was a brand new girl/interaction in front of me and forgot the stuff from the past.

In short, I'd agree with the other posters - if you're willing to throw the friendship away and communicate that it doesn't mean as much to you as banging her fine a$$, your chances get much better. Not guaranteed but better. Just make sure you don't come off as needy for sex with her. Play the field and do you. If you're looking to have your cake and eat it too, other people more socially experienced than me might have other tips.

MisterD · 04-16-2012, 11:45 PM

go for it but be willing to lose her as well. if you put yourself out there and it doesn't work, i dont know how you can show your face around her again. self respect comes first. if she doesn't wanna bang, don't give her the benefit of being your friend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mayfair

i do have a fairly useful characteristic of meeting incredibly easy women plus factor in my fairly low standards of who i will stick my **** in = getting laid

I love this site

mayfair · 04-18-2012, 03:26 AM

thanks for the replys, plenty of food for thought

I met this girl yesterday and arranged for the 2 of us to go out on satarday, was thinkin of dropping the bomb face to face then but also discovered that her ex has been back in touch so maybe need to act ASAP before he worms in, we are both single for a change and that hasnt happened in a long time

So who know how im going to float this to her but i would rather my pride took an epic knock and we never spoke again than sit as a friend on the sidelines watching a good woman get ****ed about by assholes and players

On the brightside if this does go tits up and backfires in my face i got a chicks number on friday who has already openly admitted to being intrested in no strings ****ing so that should cheer me up if worst case comes to fruition

So fingers crossed, lifes a gamble and its all about risks! wish me luck

04-15-2012, 11:16 PM	#1
mayfair Don Juan Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 18	Moving out the "friends zone" Ive got this female friend who over the last couple of months have started to see in a tottaly different light, I have went from not looking at her in any kind of romatic sense too seeing her as top notch g/f material Shes always been a looker but just far to scatty/unpredictable for me to consider risking what is a solid friendship for a bit of slap and tickle/casual sex (which i seem to be able to find elsewhere without any trouble ) Over the past while ive noticed slight changes in the way she acts towards me, plenty more eye contact, glancing at me when she thinks im not lookin and mirroring my body language so there is some signs there but last week i got rather intoxicated and sent a rather drunk txt saying "the ballbags ive seen u with dont deserve the attention u give them, u deserve better " (there was more to it than that but she picks players) As my predicament stands, ive got the hotts for her, she knows it and flirts back yet ive still not made a move!?!? Usually with a new chick i just go in all guns blazing with the dont give a ** attitude and it pays dividends, I think its the feeling of having something to lose before opening my mouth that stops me After reading back what ive just written my advice to myself would be "Drink a warm, tall glass of man the up and make a move biaatch" Never found myself in a situation like it before So have u moved out the "friends zone", how did u do it and was it worth the **ing hassle? Any advice appreciated fellow dons!

04-15-2012, 11:28 PM	#2
cablecow15 Master Don Juan Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Tennessee Age: 22 Posts: 655	short answer , no and no , the time you will spend figuring out yourself you could already have new better pu$$ , the only reason people avoid it is getting another girl is out of their comfort zone __________________ Being a ugly woman is like being a man , your gonna have to work for what you want in life

04-15-2012, 11:52 PM	#4
mayfair Don Juan Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 18	yee have little faith zarky, im 24 and not an epic swordsman by any stretch of the imagination but i do have a fairly useful characteristic of meeting incredibly easy women plus factor in my fairly low standards of who i will stick my **** in = getting laid

04-16-2012, 11:11 AM	#6
SoSuave666 Master Don Juan Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 698	Part of the allure for a female is the aspect of mystery. Since she is one of your friends already, much of your mystery is gone. If she is attracted to you, then it is because she likes who you ARE. She knows how you interact with women and she probably wants you to treat her the same way. If you usually go in "guns a blazin" then do it with her. Because you already have rapport built with this woman any deviation from your norm will be a turnoff.

04-16-2012, 11:22 AM	#7
bigneil Master Don Juan Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Texas Age: 42 Posts: 2,766	While the word "friend" is bad, it's not always the end. There are a few ways to handle the friend zone: 1) Put your foot down and say no to LJBF (if you've never had sex). This is the normal course of action. OR 2) Accept it and start to tell her about your other (legitimate, hot) dates in hopes to make her jealous (if you've already established something with her). OR 3) Call her bluff, tell her you were hoping you could just be friends but thought she would be hurt (if you've already had sex with her). OR 4) Beat her to the punch: LJBF her! This can work wonders. Her reaction will also help you to call her bluff in the future.

04-16-2012, 05:13 PM	#9
Single4Life Don Juan Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 142	Stop showing up everyday Start being aloof with her start doing romantic things to her. give her romantic gift, that is CLEAR is a -romantic- gift, not a friendship one. have all your conversations with her be short and flirty. do this for a bit and you will be out of the friend zone

04-16-2012, 05:16 PM	#10
LCommander Don Juan Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 28	Why not kino? It does wonders for me, even women in relationship become more 'receptive' and reciprocate it. I even have problems keeping women as friends by becoming so touchy and sexual to them. This is all after learning about ss and becoming a DJ.

04-16-2012, 11:43 PM	#13
self-respect Don Juan Join Date: Mar 2012 Age: 24 Posts: 60	My friend zone success story took several months and big shake-ups. HB 8.5 was in my social circle of friends. I was a complete AFC when I met her, instantly tried to become friends with her and I was the one pushing the issue instead of attracting and pulling. About a year later, discovered this site and started working on myself and positive masculinity. Focused on other women. At the same time, stopped being a little ***** for HB 8.5 and went complete NC despite having near-ONEitis level hots for her by this point. Damn she looked good when she showed off skin. Anyway, stopped checking up on her. Conversation completely dried up within a month and it was obvious what my message was to her - it was a "friends grow apart" scenario where I was happy with my life and she was happy with hers. Ran into her a few times over the next 2-3 months at parties and focused on myself. Talked to her, made her laugh and flirted, but then moved on and had fun. Slowly became more and more sexual with the flirting so that when I saw her, I'd be sexual and I wouldn't talk to her outside of that time in person. This wasn't the joking around type of sexual humor between friends, it was the suggestive eye contact, possibly serious vibe. I combined this with showing high value in her presence with the same set of friends. This happened naturally but was instrumental. Girls remember old interactions and details like hawks, but once you plant that seed of intrigue into their mind things turn around pretty well. She started asking me how I'd been, saying she didn't see me much anymore, saying all the things she didn't even think about saying when she thought I was an AFC and disposable. Once I had the frame back in my hand, I just carried on like it was a brand new girl/interaction in front of me and forgot the stuff from the past. In short, I'd agree with the other posters - if you're willing to throw the friendship away and communicate that it doesn't mean as much to you as banging her fine a$$, your chances get much better. Not guaranteed but better. Just make sure you don't come off as needy for sex with her. Play the field and do you. If you're looking to have your cake and eat it too, other people more socially experienced than me might have other tips.

04-18-2012, 03:26 AM	#15
mayfair Don Juan Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 18	thanks for the replys, plenty of food for thought I met this girl yesterday and arranged for the 2 of us to go out on satarday, was thinkin of dropping the bomb face to face then but also discovered that her ex has been back in touch so maybe need to act ASAP before he worms in, we are both single for a change and that hasnt happened in a long time So who know how im going to float this to her but i would rather my pride took an epic knock and we never spoke again than sit as a friend on the sidelines watching a good woman get **ed about by assholes and players On the brightside if this does go tits up and backfires in my face i got a chicks number on friday who has already openly admitted to being intrested in no strings **ing so that should cheer me up if worst case comes to fruition So fingers crossed, lifes a gamble and its all about risks! wish me luck