SoSuave.com

Articles

Quick Tips

Learn How to Turn Your Phone Into a Chick Magnet


Go Back   Don Juan Discussion Forum > The Archive
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-02-2007, 09:43 AM   #61
God_of_getting_layed
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Age: 31
Posts: 741
God_of_getting_layed can only hope to improve
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rollo Tomassi
Which of course begs the question, why is it so difficult for chumps to wrap their heads around it?

My guess would be that this board is full of dumb @sses that get awed when a thread like this comes along. the IQ on this board is surprisingly not that high given the threads on posts Ive seen.
God_of_getting_layed is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 02-19-2007, 09:35 PM   #62
djbr
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Age: 29
Posts: 969
djbr has a little shameless behaviour in the past
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/plate.htm

__________________
"Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success." (Rollo Tomassi - the man)
djbr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 11:38 AM   #63
bigjohnson
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,487
bigjohnson has a spectacular aura aboutbigjohnson has a spectacular aura aboutbigjohnson has a spectacular aura about
Some real gems here:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rollo Tomassi
First off, you don't HAVE to be sexual with every one of the plates you're spinning. It's the potential in knowing that you could be, or that there are women who will value your attention

Bingo. It's not even really required to "spin plates" so much. What is needed is the assurance, the indelible certainty that you have options and that everyone involved realizes this. You choose, ideally you both CHOOSE, to be with each other.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rollo Tomassi
Monogamy should never be a goal, it should be a by-product of Plate Theory

And it should never happen before the man is mature enough inside himself to maintain control of a monogamous relationship. If the man is unable to stay Captain of his own household disaster will ensue. I know this first hand.

Staying on top in a monogamous relationship makes dating look like little league play.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Rollo Tomassi
Women practice Plate Theory by default - they play hard to get, they know how to be ambiguous enough to keep their options open, but not so much as to let a guy's interest fail. They naturally know that we only chase

Again, pure genius to see this so clearly. It took me the better part of a decade to realize this; the sooner guys see and UNDERSTAND it the better. Spinning isn't about having multiple FBs, it's having available options. It's about proof that you are choosing to be with, not taking what life gives.
bigjohnson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2007, 10:51 AM   #64
penkitten
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: at our house
Age: 37
Posts: 8,127
penkitten has much to be proud ofpenkitten has much to be proud ofpenkitten has much to be proud ofpenkitten has much to be proud ofpenkitten has much to be proud ofpenkitten has much to be proud ofpenkitten has much to be proud ofpenkitten has much to be proud ofpenkitten has much to be proud of
bump
__________________
Remember Jophil
1957-2011
penkitten is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2008, 12:48 AM   #65
The Loacker
Senior Don Juan
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 247
The Loacker is on a distinguished road
I just started applying Plate Theory, and I have to say with all honesty that this is probably the best thing I've ever done in my entire life. The feeling of having options is addictive; the whole idea that you don't come from a necessitous emotional state is genius, and in fact the more options you have, the more attractive you become to women (through the unconscious changes in your behavior), the more women become attracted to you, and the more options you have. Once you get it started, it's hard to stop it.

Wow, well done Rollo, you've honestly made my life so much better. If I didn't read this thread I wouldn't have thought to spin plates, I would have remained in the "sniper" mentality, which honestly is not the way to go. I am enlightened.
__________________
This is not self-help.

This is self-destruction.
The Loacker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2008, 10:25 AM   #66
Pathetik
Don Juan
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: France, Paris
Age: 33
Posts: 64
Pathetik has a little shameless behaviour in the past
This post is gold.

It has just saved me from oneitis and AFC thoughts
__________________
Don't pay attention to my english.
I'm only good at kissing ('cause I'm french indeed )


Don Juan Boot Camp

TEAM GOLD

Week 1 - Completed
Week 2 - Completed
Week 3 - I'm working on it ^^
Pathetik is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 07-10-2008, 03:41 PM   #67
Rollo Tomassi
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Age: 46
Posts: 5,355
Rollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond repute
Glad you benefitted from it.
__________________
The Rational Male
Rollo Tomassi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2008, 04:57 PM   #68
The Bat
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Age: 33
Posts: 1,057
The Bat is a name known to allThe Bat is a name known to allThe Bat is a name known to allThe Bat is a name known to allThe Bat is a name known to allThe Bat is a name known to all
I've always wondered, are most women naturally spinning plates without them realizing it?

Or am I confusing their attention seeking behavior with their ability to spin plates?

Personally, I've found lot of women have another prospect or two in the back burner in case their main one fails. And when they find out that I'm spinning plates, they act rather surprised and rebound back to the back burner prospect (since I told them they can leave because I won't be exclusive with them).

I forget who said it here, but it's like they're (women) walking around trying to trap a free bird (you or other prospects) into a cage (committment). Is this not plate spinning? Or is it cage trapping?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aristotle
Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way, you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.
The Bat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2008, 05:08 PM   #69
macallik
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 722
macallik is a jewel in the roughmacallik is a jewel in the roughmacallik is a jewel in the roughmacallik is a jewel in the rough
I pm'd Rollo about a year ago after not quite wrapping my head around the theory and he responded with the text in the next post. Hopefully this will be a help others as it no doubt cleared up confusion for me.

The Bat, I am not entirely sure on Tomassi's view on women being plate spinners although he does allude to it in the last paragraph of what I will soon repost. I've been thinking about this for at least a 45 minutes at my computer. Personally, I think there is a difference between a woman having options and a man spinning plates; mainly the quality of the relationship and the quality of the person. Anyhow, enjoy and if you are reading Rollo I'd like to hear any other ideas you have on the topic.
__________________
Read Archives/Approach Journals; Disregards rest of forum
macallik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2008, 05:09 PM   #70
macallik
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 722
macallik is a jewel in the roughmacallik is a jewel in the roughmacallik is a jewel in the roughmacallik is a jewel in the rough
...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rollo Tomassi
The point of Plate Therory is NOT to âuck as many women as humanly possible. Though a by-product of it is a greater selection of women, Plate Theory's point is to develop and maintain options and to establish a confidence based on consciously recognizing you have them. Confidence is attained and reinforced by available options. If all you want to do is tap as much ass as you can there are plenty of PUAs ready to take your money to show you how. Plate Theory goes deeper and aids in killing the inner AFC by establishing a PRIZE mentality.

That said, there should really never be a time at which one of your prospects directly asks you why you don't want to be exclusive with her. I know that sounds unrealistic, and of course this does happen, but you need to know why it does happen. At some stage you have spent more time with one plate than all others, and/or the one plate clings more than the others. This is an error on your part for allowing it to progress beyond a non-exclusive understanding.

The problem is that you HAVE made yourself clear and overtly communicated that you are non-exclusive, rather than carefully maintianing the covert understanding that you are not. Precious few women will overtly accept a man and be secure enough to share him with other women. However, every woman will do so if the covert message is one of non-exclusivity. It is vitally important to establish this "distance" and control the frame with each plate you spin. There is an atmosphere of ambiguity and uncertainty that is necessary to develop this. Most PUAs will call this being "aloof" but this only implies a kind of Jerk-like arrogance. A practiced and refined sense of being deliberately ambiguous is very important because it feeds a woman's need for challenge, fosters a sexual competition anxiety and stimulates your most valuable DJ - a woman's imagination.

Now, after all that, at some stage even an FB is going to ask "where is this going?" at this point, if you are forced into a position of having to be direct and overt, it's important to understand why you're in that position. Women only opt for direct, overt communication when they've exhausted all of their means of being covert in their communications. This is almost always a desperation move and you should keep this in mind when the situation arises. It is in your best interests to be "brutally honest" and also be prepared to accept that this plate may just fall off. If you're spinning plates or are devloping more this shouldn't be an emotioanl issue.

Never overtly tell one plate about another. This completely defeats the purpose of being truthfully covert and destroys any imaginings one woman may have. Not only that, it also comes as an overt recognition of it and makes you look like a "player" or it comes off as conceit instead of confidence.

Treat each plate, respectfully, playfully, but also with an air that they are receiving your exclusive time at that moment. Once you've cultivated this covert non-exclusivity, just seeing you or getting an unprompted phone call from you becomes a treat, a reward, a reinforcer. Always say less than is necessary. Let them talk more and only give them "bread crumbs" of information about yourself in order to keep them reading the book of you. Less is more. Each new tidbit only keeps that fascination going; it's the AFC too impatient and lacking in self-control who spills his guts to a girl in the first week of meeting her.

Some plates will be FBs and will try to âuck their way into proving themselves eligible for your exclusivity. Others will try the "moral high ground" route and hold out on you or fight you for the frame. Most women are natural plate theorists, particularly beautiful ones. They become accustomed to having many different options and choices of men from an early age. These are actually the easiest to spin if you can successfully put them into the position of qualifying for your attention. Remember, you're doing them the favor of giving them some of your very valuable time - time that may be spent pursuing your ambitions, career, passions, friends and yes, other women. You are the Prince.
__________________
Read Archives/Approach Journals; Disregards rest of forum
macallik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2009, 07:15 AM   #71
Credos
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 650
Credos has a spectacular aura aboutCredos has a spectacular aura aboutCredos has a spectacular aura about
Been a while since this post was up, so bringing it up, good post Rollo Tomassi
Credos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2009, 09:48 AM   #72
Rollo Tomassi
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Age: 46
Posts: 5,355
Rollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond repute
Memorize and repeat this to your friends and sons.

Habla sin hablando - speak without speaking.

Imply it with your behavior. Never overtly tell (or telegraph by your actions) a woman she's in competition for your attention. Allow her to come to the conclusion that your attention is in demand. Her imagination is the best tool in your DJ toolbox. Learn how to use it.

Limit your availability to her. Let her call go to voicemail and call her back half an hour to an hour later. NEVER immediately respond to texts. Increase value through scarcity. Be responsibly, but unavoidably in demand. The less available you appear to be, the more available you "might" be for a competitor.

Part of women's difference from men is they have a much more well defined capacity for communication than men. She reads you on many different levels - by overtly communicating your status in an effort to impress you shatter any chance of her 'discovering' things about you and come off as pretentious. Women want to peel away layers of you, not eat the whole onion at once.
__________________
The Rational Male
Rollo Tomassi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2009, 09:13 PM   #73
hysteria
 
Posts: n/a
Don't listen to this Rollo guy. He's married and hasn't spun a plate since the 80s. It's like a girl taking pick-up advice from Hillary Clinton.
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2009, 01:36 AM   #74
EFFORT
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 2,122
EFFORT is a name known to allEFFORT is a name known to allEFFORT is a name known to allEFFORT is a name known to allEFFORT is a name known to allEFFORT is a name known to all
This is the best thread on this site. This should be a sticky in the main discussion forum.
__________________
Laugh, Laugh, Laugh and laugh some more...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpos...0&postcount=61
EFFORT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2009, 04:19 PM   #75
djbr
Master Don Juan
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Age: 29
Posts: 969
djbr has a little shameless behaviour in the past
bump
__________________
"Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success." (Rollo Tomassi - the man)
djbr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2009, 12:02 AM   #76
Rollo Tomassi
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Age: 46
Posts: 5,355
Rollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond repute
yeah. don't listen to me. I'm full of ****. ask anyone who's been a member of SS for 5 years,...
__________________
The Rational Male
Rollo Tomassi is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 04-29-2010, 11:58 PM   #77
konnerbelly
Don Juan
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 4
konnerbelly is on a distinguished road
If the plate is simply supported on two sides and free on the opposite two sides, then you should be able to treat it simple as a very wide beam - assuming that the plate is uniformly loaded along the width. I think that the stir plates are usually used in conjunction with breathable stoppers. The vortexing pulls air into the flask and into solution, actively displacing the CO
__________________
r4 card
konnerbelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2010, 08:31 AM   #78
Rollo Tomassi
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Age: 46
Posts: 5,355
Rollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond repute
As far as risk is concerned, it's not risk when you have legitimate options. Real options are the cornerstone of confidence, so try not to think of it in terms of risk. Most guys (particularly rAFCs seeking advice on SS) get to a point where Game and plate spinning give them their first taste of real options to select from or fall back on when another doesn't pan out. The problem arises when they spin enough plates successfully to the point where they think they've maxed out to their "best" option and the old scarcity mentality returns. Most times a guy who newly practices Game and plate spinning never really spins plates; he uses it for the first monogamous opportunity that's been eluding him for so long and calls it quits.

If you feel that you have something to lose with a particular girl, you're no longer spinning plates - you're thinking and approaching dating in terms of exclusivity. POOK's great quote: "women would rather share a high value Man than be saddled by a faithful loser" A lot of guys (and almost every woman) have a big problem with the truth of this because they take it too literally. POOK was never suggesting that you OVERTLY declare that you'll be open to other options and that your girls should accept this. Every woman takes this quote in this way. When it's on the table like that it unsurprisingly becomes an affront to their pride and self-worth. However, in practice, non-exclusivity has to be COVERT. It needs to be implied, not declared. Thus you see the truth in POOK's observation - women's behavior will bear him out.

A high value Man can spin plates, and sometimes those plates suspect there are, or know there are other plates in his rotation. They'll tolerate it so long as he remain high enough value (or effectively presents that perception) or they'll move on to another high value Man. As I said, some plates fall off to be replaced by new plates. You must be willing and confident enough to let some of them fall.

When you do finally transition into exclusive monogamy there are a few questions you need to ask yourself. Are you doing so because you have a re-heated scarcity mentality? Are you considering monogamy because you've developed ONEitis? Do you really have options or is she your only real option? Are you in a slump or a dry spell? The most important thing to consider when you transition is understanding that women want a man that other men want to be and other women want to âuck. Her association with your high value comes at a price. Women don't want a Man to cheat, but they love a Man who couldcheat. They love the Man with high enough value that others would want to tempt him. Nothing is more satisfying to a woman's ego than to be exclusive with a Man that other women would try to seduce and yet SHE is the one he's stays faithful to.

The trick in transitioning into monogamy from non-exclusivity is to maintain that same competition anxiety that kept her vying to be your #1 plate when you were spinning them. Women are walking contradictions, the want, need, security in many different forms, but simultaneously hate predictability and crave the excitement that insecurity fosters in them. Far too many Men never think, or want to risk, founding their LTR on a healthy amount of competition anxiety. They think that security, loyalty and dependability is the key, and while ennobling, it's BORING. You are forsaking all of your options to be with her, but now that she's got you, she wonders if you were really worth the effort. You MUST set the precedents early on in an LTR. If you do not control the frame at the beginning of an LTR, you'll be fighting an uphill battle to gain control in convincing her you were and still are a high value male.

And that brings us full circle back again to risk. Don't be concerned with risking losing her in establishing your frame of control, that risk is a no-brainer. The risk of committing yourself to a monogamy where you put off all other options (including career, education, family, etc.) for what could be a lifetime is a FAR greater risk than losing any woman's affections. That risk has much more long term impact than having to replace a girl you considered worthy of monogamy.
__________________
The Rational Male
Rollo Tomassi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2010, 02:17 PM   #79
Rollo Tomassi
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Age: 46
Posts: 5,355
Rollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond reputeRollo Tomassi has a reputation beyond repute
Don't think of plate theory as a filter so much as it is a means to reinforce confidence. If you were to step into the ring with a professional UFC fighter right now it'd probably be suicide for you. But train for a few years, spar with other fighters and win a few bouts and you'll probably be confident enough in your past performances that you know you can hold your own in the ring. That's the idea, confidence derived from the options of non-exclusive women in hand and from having successfully generated those options in the past.

It's not a numbers game, it's a non-exclusivity game. The goal isn't racking up as many women as humanly possible in order to sift through the throng and find that one little golden flower. In fact that's the key to disaster. There is no Quality Woman, that's an idealization. Some are better than others of course, but you don't find the perfect woman, you make the perfect woman. There is no needle in the haystack - that is Scarcity / ONEitis thinking - the point is to mold yourself and any woman who you do exclusively end up with into your own frame. This is a process that should come before you commit to exclusivity, not after. The world is filled with guys forever trying to catch up, control the frame and be the Man they should've been long before they entered an LTR. They spend the better part of their LTRs/Marriages trying to prove that they deserve their GFs respect when they'd have done better in letting her come to that conclusion well before the commitment through a healthy dose of competition anxiety.
__________________
The Rational Male
Rollo Tomassi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-07-2011, 01:00 AM   #80
seraphim
Don Juan
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Trinidad and Tobago
Posts: 11
seraphim is on a distinguished road
Whoa this is an epic post.Nice!!
seraphim is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

The DJ Bible

What's New

Articles

Quick Tips

Hall of Fame

Romance Tips

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:42 AM.


Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.