Living at home 30+ years old

stuka1939 · Jan 12, 2008

Anyone else is the same predicament?

It is SUCH a confidence killer, but my hands are tied.

I have an overbearing mother who thinks her son can't do anything right and is similiar to Mrs. Costanza. It also hurts confidence because you always have to tell your parents where you are going.

E.G. "You just wore that shirt, why are you wearing it again."

stuka1939 · Jan 12, 2008

spiff said:
you need to leave the nest bro

sad thing is I have a masters degree but have not found a job in my field yet.

I don't have a penny to my name and I am 60K in debt (student loans and credit cards)

reset · Jan 12, 2008

I am. Money does make the world go round. But I intend to get my own apartment this year. School loans, debt, that's the sort of thing that keeps you at home. It happens to a lot of people. Not everyone has their parents pay for education or this or that. I have a decent job but loans as well, I make more money than my friends who live on their own but I have more debt. It's nothing to be ASHAMED of.

You have a degree, you're probably very responsible you're just trying to make a life for yourself. Keep doing that.

Work on getting a job and creating a life. At least you have a place to live, so that's where you start from.

Other people can think whatever the fvck they want to about your situation. Live your own life.

Francisco d'Anconia · Jan 12, 2008

spiff said:
you need to worry about that before girls then man

:yes: Seconded. Actually, the worse thing he can do is to actually find a girl while he's in this situation. He'd end up getting more depressed.
Create a budget of how much it will cost to live on your own and then find a job that would sustain it.

FoolsCause · Jan 12, 2008

stuka1939 said:
Anyone else is the same predicament?

Yes. I have credit card debt from medical bills, so I have to live with my mom or become further in debt. I asked a girl out for dinner last year, and she was excited until I later told her I live with my mom, then she canceled the date. I have some career prospects so this may not last forever.

Good luck finding a job. What major/field?

Francisco d'Anconia · Jan 12, 2008

OK, I'm old and senile but other than school debt, how do you get into other types of debt without having a job? I don't know what's more bazaar, someone asking for credit without a means of repayment or a company granting it without you having a method of repayment. It's why the country is so screwed up economically, companies have extended consumer credit to people who aren't able to pay for it.

meitenesrigas · Jan 12, 2008

The average male in Italy is still living at home with Momma at 30. Italians don't hate men though. So it is cool there. Momma still does your laundry, cooks for you, listens to you, etc. most of the above mentioned Italian guys can be found on Post-Soviet social networking sites fending off hundreds of teenage Natshas and Baibas. "Ciao. I 34 year old Italian Boy. I don't speak your language. So only the English!" This results in a few hundred messages from 16 year olds consisting of kissing lips and hearts with words like, "Oh, such pretty boy."

Now, back to your sad reality. In America you are an OLD man by the time you hit 30. There is nothing older looking to me than a 30 year old American male. If you are living in America and are still at home with your mother at 30 you have serious issues. I feel for ya. I say get out of debt and start fresh. Maybe learn a new language (Russian - you need it). That will keep you busy and beats hitting the bottle or watching too much tv. The only worse is to be married in America. Don't believe me? Just ask all the guys on here who have made that mistake.

Francisco d'Anconia · Jan 12, 2008

meitenesrigas said:
The average male in Italy is still living at home with Momma at 30. Italians don't hate men though. So it is cool there. Momma still does your laundry, cooks for you, listens to you, etc. most of the above mentioned Italian guys can be found on Post-Soviet social networking sites fending off hundreds of teenage Natshas and Baibas. "Ciao. I 34 year old Italian Boy. I don't speak your language. So only the English!" This results in a few hundred messages from 16 year olds consisting of kissing lips and hearts with words like, "Oh, such pretty boy."

True but a man is still very masculine in Italy. There the gender roles aren't blurred and his family sustains his machismo instead of damper it as families do here in the states. If you're an American male, I suggest spending at least a month in Italy in order to see what being a man is all about.

meitenesrigas said:
Now, back to your sad reality. In America you are an OLD man by the time you hit 30. There is nothing older looking to me than a 30 year old American male. If you are living in America and are still at home with your mother at 30 you have serious issues. I feel for ya. I say get out of debt and start fresh. Maybe learn a new language (Russian - you need it). That will keep you busy and beats hitting the bottle or watching too much tv. The only worse is to be married in America. Don't believe me? Just ask all the guys on here who have made that mistake.

Back in the day when a guy went off to college, he was truly separate from the family unit and self sufficient. It was how he learned to put into practice what he had learned from his father as he set forth to conquer the world. Now men seem to need to fight society just to figure out who they are. Staying at home makes it even more difficult.

Luke Skywalker · Jan 12, 2008

I live at home with parents and I'm at age 31. Since relations in here aren't bad or strained and I'm sort of asexual or the lack of having a relationship or gf isn't bothering me that much it's not that much of a big deal for me where say I have to panic and get out of here tommorow so my resolve isn't that strong.

speakeasy · Jan 12, 2008

How much money would you be saving living at home versus having your own apartment. Your number one concern is lowering your debt burden right now. If you would save a significant amount of money living at home, then you might just want to hunker down and deal with the situation for 2 years. Get your financial house in order and be prepared to have your sh*t together by 32.

Francisco d'Anconia · Jan 12, 2008

Luke, you're comfortable in your situation; you've learned to accept it, you are where you want to be. In stuka's situation, it's impeding where he wants to go. He's not necessarily happy where he's at, he probably wants to change.

reset · Jan 12, 2008

I'm more in a roomate situation with my Dad, we get along. He actually wishes he saw me bringing chicks here. Before, it really bothered me that I kept seeing stuff about how you have to live on your own, and it made me feel less of a man, because I got this message that a girl will NOT be attracted if you live at home.

I wanted to live on my own just for chicks. So I got depressed about the whole thing. Somewhere along the line I finally accepted that the reason I want to live on my own is I'm older and it's time for me to support myself. I want that for myself, not so a chick will approve of me or not. Now I actually feel better about taking the steps I'll need to take to move out, because I'm doing it for ME, and I WANT that for myself, not for a chick. Which makes me feel much better about the whole thing, if that makes sense.

I guess what I'm saying is feeling bad about a situation can keep you in that situation if you are worried about how you're being perceived, you can get caught up in the negativity. If you want to change the situation because it's something you want for YOU.... I think it actually makes it EASIER to get excited about making changes.

Maxtro · Jan 12, 2008

I really want to get out of my Grandma's house. I can not stand being here any longer. Thankfully she has bee out of town for a few days so it's just me and her fucking dogs in the house. Unfortunately she is coming back tomorrow.

I have been working seasonal at a retail store for the past two months. I won't know if I become permanent until the 18th. If I get this job I'll start making the preparations to move out.

Which makes things complicated is that I'm a full-time student and I only have one more semester of Jr. College then I start university in the fall. My mom has offered to pay for college and rent as long as I keep doing good. I'm very grateful about that. The problem is that she won't help until I start university in August. Until then if I want to move out I'll have to do it on my own power.

I'm also in debt, have about $6k in credit card bills and I owe $7.5k on my car. What sucks is that my car is worth about the same amount of money and it needs about $2k in repairs if I wanted to make it sellable.

I could just suck it up and stay where I'm at for 7 more months, but to me thats an eternity. Even if I put all of my income into my debt I still wouldn't be debt free by the time I start college. And that doesn't really matter because being on my own is a hell of a lot more important to me than paying my debts.

Until I can get the hell out of here I feel like I'm living in limbo with nothing I can do but wait.

wolf116 · Jan 12, 2008

What is wrong with all you people!!!!!!!!!
I left home at 17 (no support from parents), lived in a shared house with no bed, furniture, nothing. Any furniture we owned was salvaged from the dump. Went to uni and worked one day a week. I even learned to fix cars through the net and books and got myself a car on the road for under $200. I also made a great bike from dump parts and made a veggie patch to save on food bills.

That year was by far the best of my life. I lost my virginity on a blanket on a wood floor.

Why people think they need loans is beyond me.

Ricky · Jan 13, 2008

I lived at home off an on for part of my 20's and early 30's. I've moved around a bit, but they always liked having me live there as i'm the youngest in the family.

To tell you the truth, I miss living with them at times. My parents are great, but were strict and didn't like when I came home late at 5 AM with my gf. So I started staying over at the girls house instead.

I love one night leaving a party, when I told the girl I had to go to her place since i lived at my parents. Was funny but we still hooked up.

To be honest it's better to bang at the girls place anyways, then you don't have to worry about making your place super clean etc.

It isn't a major problem as long as you don't let it get to you. Tell them you are finishing up a grad degree (don't tell them you graduated), they'll understand because college is really damn expensive nowadays.

spider_007 · Jan 14, 2008

i know how you feel.....i'm never leaving home eather.

AFC Savior · Jan 14, 2008

this is the "don't ever take advice from these people again" thread

mpimpin · Jan 14, 2008

AFC Savior said:
this is the "don't ever take advice from these people again" thread

Maxtro · Jan 14, 2008

Found a useful site. My First Apartment

synergy1 · Jan 14, 2008

wolf116 said:
Why people think they need loans is beyond me.

America lives and dies on credit. Society has not functioned on the mindset of buying something when you have the money for sometime now. You can finance TVs, Computers, furniture, appliances, and anything else. Loans are a way of life for most, and screwing over some people who don't read fine print. The more debt you have, the more locked into an unsatisfactory lifestyle you become...as seems to be the case with stuka.

My advice to stuka is this; get out of debt as fast as possible. When you have lifted the oppressing weight of debt from your shoulders, you can move out, and start your own life. Mentally you will be much more at peace being able to do what you want. I hate diverting this conversation to me, but since I have no urgent debt, and am living on my own with a good (not great) job, the women seem to love me. A guy who is with it, or "together" with their finances is more attractive.

As everyone has said, work on your short term goals for ridding yourself of debt, and becoming free. The women aren't going anywhere, anytime soon

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Living at home 30+ years old

Banned

Banned

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Senior Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Banned

Master Don Juan

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

Master Don Juan

Banned

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan