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HELP: Can't choose between two girls. They're both good friends.

Spearmint

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I'm in a bit of a tough situation here. Basically I've been spinning two plates at the same time, A and B. I met them both at pretty much the same time.

For a long while both A and B were pretty much unaware of each other until I discovered they were good friends, figures hey? And then A found out about B and B vice versa.

A got pissed off and upset about it, I decided to drop A as a plate and stick with B. 

As soon as I had dropped A as a plate I began to notice my game slipping with B, I could feel myself get more intense and start 'suffocating the fire' so to speak. Anyway one night about two weeks later, I got speaking to A again and did apologise about the circumstances she found out and such.

Anyway whilst I was encountering difficulty with B I got a taxi back with A, we lived on the same university campus so I didn't think anything of it until she invited me in for a cup of tea. Split second decision and I go in. I knew where it was leading so I went anyway.

A became worried about B finding out saying that she's a good friend to her and that. I said B didn't have to find out, nobody has done anything wrong etc and that I hadn't spoken to B much recently.

Fast forward a few days and A texts me saying she wants no more in this 'situation' that it's clear I really like B and what not. I let her cool off and then talk to her again a few days later. 

A pulls the LJBF card on me. I tell her we always were friends anyway, she becomes shocked. We continue on as if nothing in the past had happened.

I keep speaking to A as summer has started, we don't live far apart nor does B.

B was on holiday, I didn't hear much from her but when she came back we 'spoke' briefly saying right now with summer we don't want intense. I take that as a sign to play it cool so I've been doing that and that's pretty good as well.

So A everything is okay. So is B.

When uni comes round the corner again, I don't know what to do, I do really like both, I'm cautious of hurting A by choosing B, but hurting and losing B by picking A.

I speak to A a lot more, B has a tendency of taking time to respond to texts (over summer anyway) 

I want to see A over summer and fvck and what not. The same goes for B. 

They are both top girls. Both GOOD friends, and both somehow again unaware of each other.

I feel bad playing them both but obviously you lot can see I actually care about the repercussions of what I do.

So what the hell do I do? How do I choose? 

Anything anyone can offer will be a huge help!
 

bigneil

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I assume you mean they are good friends with eachother and not you.

Even then, what is there to choose? Between girl A who said LJBF and girl B who hardly responds to your text messages? Have you ever kissed either girl? Did you have sex with either girl? Are you also saying you are now on summer break and won't see either girl for months?

They are obviously talking about you. Are you the guy who gets the girl? Two women will generally either both like you or both not like you. Even if they haven't had a chance to talk in private, one will say "Isn't he hot?" to the other. At that point, the one who said that "called" you, and the other friend will yield to her (or doom their friendship forever).
 

youngmack

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Keep playing both dude. Dont develop a soft spot for girls especially young girls. All girls always have options. You should too. Girls would do more to a guy than just play him.

She would fvck up his life and his psyci. If you do decide to drop one of them make sure they're not the only girl you're messing with....have backups or plates.
 

donking

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youngmack said:
Keep playing both dude. Dont develop a soft spot for girls especially young girls. All girls always have options. You should too. Girls would do more to a guy than just play him.

She would fvck up his life and his psyci. If you do decide to drop one of them make sure they're not the only girl you're messing with....have backups or plates.
damn. at 16, you speak like 36. props to your dad.
 

Spearmint

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How am I meant to make a choice between the two of them?

I've slept with them both yes, and they're good friends but not best.

Say I choose B then A would be upset and probably hate me and accuse me of leading her on. I choose A and I feel like I might still want B or what not.
 

youngmack

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Bruh...play them both.. Theres no reason to be worrying about feelings here.They're the most ruthless heartless creatures you'd ever meet. You think they would care about your feelings if your in a relationship with them and they're taking large WeeWee in their fartbox? NO. So you just gotta accept this and just play the game or get played.
 

Skalioppe

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Women are competitive when vying for the same man, so keep spinning both plates, but don't commit to either.

Try and fvck both of them.
 

Skalioppe

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Spearmint said:
And when the meltdown from one eventually comes? What then?
...enjoy dining from the other plates you have been spinning.

If you can't decide between them, then neither are right for you, so don't sweat it. If you met the right woman, you'd know it.
 

youngmack

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What do you want to do with these girls? Do you want a LTR or what.

Because if you dont want a LTR with neither then you play them BOTH.
 

Spearmint

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I'm on the verge of wanting an LTR with B more than with A.

Thing is I'm happy spinning them both, I just can't do it with those two because its impossible to pursue an LTR with B but keep 'my eggs separate' with A.

A has 100% been more receptive, it's almost effortless with her whereas B isn't always available, it's more of a chase with her if that makes sense?

I can be as intense as I want with A, if I want to ring her or whatever she will answer etc. B on the other hand I know I'd spook if I was intense or became unbelievably AFC which I fear I've done sometimes.

Basically with B I feel like I've put in a lot more effort and should be further than where I am now with her. I want her to be putting the effort back in if that makes sense?

I've contemplated freezing her out to see if she's actually interested because I don't wanna decide on B an then feel like I've made the wrong choice.
 

youngmack

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Spearmint said:
I'm on the verge of wanting an LTR with B more than with A.

Thing is I'm happy spinning them both, I just can't do it with those two because its impossible to pursue an LTR with B but keep 'my eggs separate' with A.

A has 100% been more receptive, it's almost effortless with her whereas B isn't always available, it's more of a chase with her if that makes sense?

I can be as intense as I want with A, if I want to ring her or whatever she will answer etc. B on the other hand I know I'd spook if I was intense or became unbelievably AFC which I fear I've done sometimes.

Basically with B I feel like I've put in a lot more effort and should be further than where I am now with her. I want her to be putting the effort back in if that makes sense?

I've contemplated freezing her out to see if she's actually interested because I don't wanna decide on B an then feel like I've made the wrong choice.
Ok so from what you have stated , B seems more like a LTR material since its harder to break her. A seems more like a fling type of girl. I would say drop A for a little bit but not all he way. Contact her here and there to test waters and make sure your on good terms with her,but pursue B.

Some of the best chicks are a little harder to chase, but this isnt always the case so make sure not to invest Too much emotionally unless shes very receptive.Use your best game and try not to use any AFC tactics.
 

youngmack

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If B still dosent lighten up after a while because for who knows what reason either she thinks shes too good for everybody, shes too demanding for no reason, or shes just a straight b1tch. Drop and go back to A being that you kept in some contact with her while pursuing B.
 

Spearmint

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I like the idea of cooling it off with A an to pursue B.

The thing because it's summer and I'm not back at uni for another 2 months I would only see her when I headed down to see my mates and what not who are 2-3 hours away.

I have been keeping in contact with B since we finished for summer, she's a reserved girl despite what people say about girls like that 'oh I'd get in her in one night whatever' but despite my best efforts and I consider myself above AFC, she is causing me trouble.

It's mainly just the keeping in contact. She's said things like she doesn't want things intense over summer and stuff like she's cautious or worried that of we talk a lot over summer and then back at uni one of us decides it's not for them then the other would be hurt and it would be awkward.

I believe that was targeted at me because she's said in the past how 'nobody can hurt her, she's got a heart of stone' etc.

She also knows about girl A and I've even subtlety talked about it in conversation so she gets the hint that A is chasing me and wants me but she's just said how A is a great girl as well and because they are mates, she thinks A genuinely likes me etc.

She's also said however that she does not want me to forget anything or leave it because it's early days so to speak.

I don't get the impression she is playing games, in person SHE IS FINE. It's just this distance and the texting etc

Text her yesterday in reply to her at like 4, then sent her a joke at about half past midnight that she'd find funny. Haven't heard at all from her today which is odd, she's one to leave gaps in her replies but not a whole day.

I've been considering a freeze out or something to gauge her interest, it's all mixed signals to me.

My friend who has no SS experience or whatever said to me earlier in the gym

"Not intending to take the piss, this is now in all seriousness, have you actualy turned into a *****, and are you ****ing retarded?

You seem not to be able to differentiate between putting in the effort at the beginning like 70%:30% and drawing the line.

**** this, its not working at the minute with this messaging **** phone calls texting Facebook whatever, she doesn't ring you, she hasn't even text you yet on her own accord you've just been talking each day.

If she speaks to you, speak to her, If she doesn't, then don't.

But don't just go and message her and make up a reason why it's ok for you to do that. Because that puts you in the same non beneficial position now.

If you're playing the long ball over the top over and over and over again, and it's just not working, you don't keep playing it if you want to win, you change your tactics"


Is he right? And if so what tactics or if anything can
I do?
 

TopGun2000

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Spearmint said:
I like the idea of cooling it off with A an to pursue B.

The thing because it's summer and I'm not back at uni for another 2 months I would only see her when I headed down to see my mates and what not who are 2-3 hours away.

I have been keeping in contact with B since we finished for summer, she's a reserved girl despite what people say about girls like that 'oh I'd get in her in one night whatever' but despite my best efforts and I consider myself above AFC, she is causing me trouble.

It's mainly just the keeping in contact. She's said things like she doesn't want things intense over summer and stuff like she's cautious or worried that of we talk a lot over summer and then back at uni one of us decides it's not for them then the other would be hurt and it would be awkward.

I believe that was targeted at me because she's said in the past how 'nobody can hurt her, she's got a heart of stone' etc.

She also knows about girl A and I've even subtlety talked about it in conversation so she gets the hint that A is chasing me and wants me but she's just said how A is a great girl as well and because they are mates, she thinks A genuinely likes me etc.

She's also said however that she does not want me to forget anything or leave it because it's early days so to speak.

I don't get the impression she is playing games, in person SHE IS FINE. It's just this distance and the texting etc

Text her yesterday in reply to her at like 4, then sent her a joke at about half past midnight that she'd find funny. Haven't heard at all from her today which is odd, she's one to leave gaps in her replies but not a whole day.

I've been considering a freeze out or something to gauge her interest, it's all mixed signals to me.

My friend who has no SS experience or whatever said to me earlier in the gym

"Not intending to take the piss, this is now in all seriousness, have you actualy turned into a *****, and are you ****ing retarded?

You seem not to be able to differentiate between putting in the effort at the beginning like 70%:30% and drawing the line.

**** this, its not working at the minute with this messaging **** phone calls texting Facebook whatever, she doesn't ring you, she hasn't even text you yet on her own accord you've just been talking each day.

If she speaks to you, speak to her, If she doesn't, then don't.

But don't just go and message her and make up a reason why it's ok for you to do that. Because that puts you in the same non beneficial position now.

If you're playing the long ball over the top over and over and over again, and it's just not working, you don't keep playing it if you want to win, you change your tactics"


Is he right? And if so what tactics or if anything can
I do?
B doesn't sound like LTR material to me if you want to pursue her in that direction
 
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