neuromancer
Senior Don Juan
Hi,
I have been working with a new female boss for six weeks (we knew each other barely for a year and never really talked much before as we were in different departments).
She runs a team with many other people in it but I work for her directly.
I'm in my mid 20's, she is 11 years older.
Are these buy signals:
1) We sit next to each other every day and she puts her right hand on my left shoulder frequently when:
a) I seem to be stressing
b) She is apologizing for something (say missing a work-related e-mail)
c) She is asking me to do something and she is emphasizing how important it is
2) Once she complained to me about some work I'd done, I showed her that it was right, she apologized then encircled my left upper arm with her right hand.
3) One time she was standing behind me (I was seated) and put both her hands on both my shoulders - after I (playfully) complained to her that hadn't read one of my e-mails carefully enough.
We send a lot of e-mails despite sitting side by side because of the nature of the work (lots of analysis).
4) Lately when I was showing her something she rolled her chair over, and lightly pressed the tip of her shoe into my left leg.
I've never seen her touch any other guy in the team.
5) I've had eye contact with her, sometimes 3 or 4 seconds long after speaking (once at the bar I had 6 seconds of eye contact with her).
Here is what makes me think she doesn't like me in the way I want her to like me:
1) She depends on me heavily in a professional way - so maybe all this touching and familiarity is related only to that.
2) I am her ally on the team (politically she doesn't get on well with some others) - so again maybe that's what the touching is about.
3) Most damning of all, whenever she's had a chance to be alone with me in the office or at the bar (when there's just me, her and another colleague) - she would go home - not right away, but eventually - when it was obvious that the other colleague was going to leave soon and we could have been alone if she wanted.
I want to see things as they are and not follow my own wishes or desires.
Is this Low Interest Level and me yet again reading too much into her touching?
Are these verbal buy signals (said by her to me):
a) "Are you having fun? You're enjoying this more than you thought you would..." - she was standing, I was sitting, she was looking at her screen and just said it out of the blue
b) "You and I are a good team," - context, just after she said a)
c) "Do you believe in me? Do you have faith in me?" - context, after I had told her that my career depends on hers right now
Is a) and b) just related to her needing me professionally?
Is c) related possibly to her just being insecure and unconfident?
Again, I appreciate objective opinions. I am really bothered that she may like me only in a professional way and that I could end up her professional AFC.
I have been working with a new female boss for six weeks (we knew each other barely for a year and never really talked much before as we were in different departments).
She runs a team with many other people in it but I work for her directly.
I'm in my mid 20's, she is 11 years older.
Are these buy signals:
1) We sit next to each other every day and she puts her right hand on my left shoulder frequently when:
a) I seem to be stressing
b) She is apologizing for something (say missing a work-related e-mail)
c) She is asking me to do something and she is emphasizing how important it is
2) Once she complained to me about some work I'd done, I showed her that it was right, she apologized then encircled my left upper arm with her right hand.
3) One time she was standing behind me (I was seated) and put both her hands on both my shoulders - after I (playfully) complained to her that hadn't read one of my e-mails carefully enough.
We send a lot of e-mails despite sitting side by side because of the nature of the work (lots of analysis).
4) Lately when I was showing her something she rolled her chair over, and lightly pressed the tip of her shoe into my left leg.
I've never seen her touch any other guy in the team.
5) I've had eye contact with her, sometimes 3 or 4 seconds long after speaking (once at the bar I had 6 seconds of eye contact with her).
Here is what makes me think she doesn't like me in the way I want her to like me:
1) She depends on me heavily in a professional way - so maybe all this touching and familiarity is related only to that.
2) I am her ally on the team (politically she doesn't get on well with some others) - so again maybe that's what the touching is about.
3) Most damning of all, whenever she's had a chance to be alone with me in the office or at the bar (when there's just me, her and another colleague) - she would go home - not right away, but eventually - when it was obvious that the other colleague was going to leave soon and we could have been alone if she wanted.
I want to see things as they are and not follow my own wishes or desires.
Is this Low Interest Level and me yet again reading too much into her touching?
Are these verbal buy signals (said by her to me):
a) "Are you having fun? You're enjoying this more than you thought you would..." - she was standing, I was sitting, she was looking at her screen and just said it out of the blue
b) "You and I are a good team," - context, just after she said a)
c) "Do you believe in me? Do you have faith in me?" - context, after I had told her that my career depends on hers right now
Is a) and b) just related to her needing me professionally?
Is c) related possibly to her just being insecure and unconfident?
Again, I appreciate objective opinions. I am really bothered that she may like me only in a professional way and that I could end up her professional AFC.