Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

FR: Got given the cheek. Now what?

d0g

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2012
Messages
71
Reaction score
3
Location
San Francisco, CA
Hi guys,

This was date #2 with "Anna". The first date was to a free concert, and at the end of that date, I accompanied her home, and gave her a hug goodnight -- nothing more, since I didn't build any attraction during the evening.

So tonight was our first real date; I took her out to drinks in town. We went to a couple of bars, having a beer at each, and then went back to my place (which she happily agreed to) and had a bottle of wine.

We sat down on the couch in my living room, and drank the wine. However, she never made it easy for me to touch her, and I'm still really bad at pulling off kino when I'm not sure if there's interest, so I "absent mindedly" touched her shoulder a couple of times, but that's it. (Yes, I'm a p*ssy. I know.)

I walked her back to her apartment. We hugged, chatted for another minute about what we're doing in the coming week, hugged again, and I went in for a kiss and got given the cheek.

#1: F*ck. It seems like I've screwed up again. Between dates #1 and #2 (a week apart) she was contacting me, asking how things were going, etc. It seemed like she was interested, and somehow I've messed up a good thing. Again.

#2: She's going away from Wednesday until Sunday. I have three choices: a.) cut my losses, and NEXT this girl; b.) invite her out for something between now and Wednesday; c.) wait for a week, and then invite her out for something the following week. What do you guys think?

Cheers,
d0g
 

Neon Owl

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 10, 2010
Messages
324
Reaction score
1
Location
UK
d) Invite her out to the cinema or something then back to your place before wednesday and go caveman on her. Start kino at the beginning of the date and kiss her at some point before going back home. You don't need her permission, just wait for a break in the conversation and keep looking her in the eyes...this will probably make her smile shyly or giggle and just say "give me a kiss" and lean in and do it man.
Stop looking for IOIs and just go for it.
 
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
67
Reaction score
3
Neon Owl said:
d) Invite her out to the cinema or something then back to your place before wednesday and go caveman on her. Start kino at the beginning of the date and kiss her at some point before going back home. You don't need her permission, just wait for a break in the conversation and keep looking her in the eyes...this will probably make her smile shyly or giggle and just say "give me a kiss" and lean in and do it man.
Stop looking for IOIs and just go for it.
Agree. Just go for it. Do you think she likes you? Maybe she just isn't ready for kissing yet (does it matter anyway; important thing = invite her over).

Watch a movie or something and sit next to her and just put your arm around her right from the bat. That way there'll be no awkward **** later on with fumbling your arm around her, just hold her close to you from the start. And then give her a kiss on the cheek somewhere during the movie and after that just start playing with her hair and go in for the kiss. Yes, your heart starts pounding double four time and you'll be sitting there thinking: ''Now!? Or now!? Wait.. no. ****, moment lost. Now!?'', but eventually you'll bring up the courage to do it.
 

Igetit!

Moderator
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
2,867
Reaction score
902
Location
The United State of Texas
Neon Owl said:
Stop looking for IOIs and just go for it.

That's the ironic part about the thread.....she WAS GIVING HIM IOIs,but he didn't see them.

He was looking for specific signs of interests (what exactly,I don't know),but she was giving them in other ways. Her IOIs were.....


1: Going on the 2nd date....and most of all.....
2: GOING BACK TO HIS HOUSE on that second date.


She went back to his house....after only 2 dates. Uhhh....what the hell other kind of IOI do you need????? And if that wasn't enough,she sat on the couch with him AND drunk wine.


ALL THAT.....and all he did was touch her on the shoulder a few times.


He said she didn't make it easy for him to touch her. Let's see.....


She's on a SECOND DATE with you......
ALONE with you at AT YOUR HOUSE.....
sitting next to you on the couch......

All that......and YOU STILL couldn't touch her. Ok....:rolleyes:



I'm kinda curious about something you said. This thing right here.....


I'm still really bad at pulling off kino when I'm not sure if there's interest


You said you're bad at kino when you're not sure if there's interest. Ok.......what would she have had to do for you TO KNOW she was interested? If a second date and her "happily agreeing" to go back to your place wasn't IOI enough for you to make a move,what else would she have had to do?


I know you're bummed about her giving you the cheek,but if you don't strike while the iron is hot,this kind of thing happens sometimes.


We can't blame the women for EVERYTHING.


#1: F*ck. It seems like I've screwed up again. Between dates #1 and #2 (a week apart) she was contacting me, asking how things were going, etc. It seemed like she was interested, and somehow I've messed up a good thing. Again.

#2: She's going away from Wednesday until Sunday. I have three choices: a.) cut my losses, and NEXT this girl; b.) invite her out for something between now and Wednesday; c.) wait for a week, and then invite her out for something the following week. What do you guys think?

Cheers,
d0g

If you get a 3rd date with this chick,dude,lol......you better make a move this time. None of that "shoulder touching". Come up from behind her,put your hands on her sides,and do a little light kissing on the sides of her neck.

I'd honestly be SHOCKED if you got a 3rd date,but if you do,MAKE A MOVE.
 
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
67
Reaction score
3
Jep, the dude Igetit is right. I just went on a second date as well, we watched The Big Lebowski (which in retrospect I really shouldn't have picked.. oh god.. how suited for making out when someones ear gets bitten off). At a certain point she looked at her watch and yawned. I was sitting with my arm around her the whole time. Those 2 things were a real alarm-bell going off for me: ''If you don't do something fast, you're gonna hate yourself for it later. She wants you to do something!''.

And so I did. That's exactly what you should do on the third date. Remember that you'll feel like a pvssy later on if you don't do anything and: JUST GO FOR IT bro (if you can get that 3rd date) ! :)
 

d0g

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2012
Messages
71
Reaction score
3
Location
San Francisco, CA
Alright, alright, alright! Sosuave is unanimous (for once!).

I suppose it's obvious to everyone but me, but the new lesson I have here is: if a girl agrees to go back to your place for a drink, you'd better escalate -- if you don't, you'll get friend-zone-boxed as a p*ssy, and if you do, either you win or you lose, but at least you have a chance.

I will report back after round #3 (or on my failure to secure a third round).

One question I do still have is, if she was so interested, why didn't she reciprocate kino? The general rule on this board seems to be to touch her once or twice, and then wait for her to reciprocate before progressing. She never reciprocated, so I got cold feet. What's up with that?

In shame,
d0g
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,280
Reaction score
234
Location
NYC
I'm gonna go against the grain here. I would consider dropping her.

She's at the dude's house and she's not making it easy at all for him. What should he do, date rape her??? Of course not. She's either a female AFC or mad shy, or lost interest.

Let's be optimistic here. Try for date #3. My prediction is that she will not make it any easier for him. Hopefully I am wrong, so OP, go for it one more time, man. Let us know how you did, and good luck.
 

Trump

Banned
Joined
Mar 12, 2011
Messages
3,034
Reaction score
1,677
I don't know bro, she knows you don't have much experience by not doing anything in dates one and two, especially since she was in your place and nothing happened. She now knows you lack smoothness and haven't been with many girls.

If she does agree to date 3, you got to be Rico Suave and do alot of things to her, or she is wasting her time.
 

d0g

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2012
Messages
71
Reaction score
3
Location
San Francisco, CA
Espi said:
If she turns her cheek again, kiss it slowly and sexily--and then immediately kiss the other cheek the same way and then direct your lips close to hers and mantain eye contact. If she doesn't give you a lip kiss I would politely and non-chalantly walk away and never call her again.
That is a fantastic piece of advice. Thanks, Espi! I've never had to deal with the turned cheek before, so I was a little taken aback, but in the future I'll definitely give this tactic a try.

As for the overall plan for this particular girl, I'll go with the movie+wine at my place offer, and see what happens.

For some more context, I suspect this girl is quite shy. She's a rather intellectual type, and HB5, so probably doesn't get an enormous amount of attention from guys.

Thanks again everyone,
d0g
 

d0g

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2012
Messages
71
Reaction score
3
Location
San Francisco, CA
Espi said:
Text her an invite to your place. Skip the movie, dinner proposal. Just text her: "Hi. Really looking forward to cuddling up with you. Would you like to join me for pizza and wine and a movie this Wednesday night at 8 at my place?"
What's the board's consensus on the wording for this text? Is going balls-to-the-wall like Espi suggests optimal? Or is a more limp approach like, "Hey Anna. Would you like to join me for movie and wine at my place this Monday or Tuesday, at 8?" more likely to yield good results (baring in mind how little I've escalated so far, I'm concerned an abrupt change in tone will sink me for sure, but maybe that's what I need here, a reset)?

Thanks,
d0g
 

Naughty Ninja

Banned
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
2,428
Reaction score
98
Location
Banned
d0g said:
What's the board's consensus on the wording for this text? Is going balls-to-the-wall like Espi suggests optimal? Or is a more limp approach like, "Hey Anna. Would you like to join me for movie and wine at my place this Monday or Tuesday, at 8?" more likely to yield good results (baring in mind how little I've escalated so far, I'm concerned an abrupt change in tone will sink me for sure, but maybe that's what I need here, a reset)?

Thanks,
d0g

Anna, bring your sexxy self over tonight for unfinished business. d0g
 

nroug7

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 20, 2013
Messages
233
Reaction score
9
Location
Australia
Naughty Ninja said:
Anna, bring your sexxy self over tonight for unfinished business. d0g
Actually, yes, this.
You should hit off on a sexual tone from the start, makes this kind of thing less awkward.
Plus, theres nothing like exchanging rather sexy messages between several plates at once ;)

Which brings me to an off topic question, what do you guys do with girls who like to get a little dominant in sex, should I let that occur?
 

d0g

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2012
Messages
71
Reaction score
3
Location
San Francisco, CA
Naughty Ninja said:
Anna, bring your sexxy self over tonight for unfinished business. d0g
NN, you're a master of boldness, that's for sure. This is so against everything she's seen from me so far (i.e. a very unaggressive dude) that I'm pretty sure she'd think someone stole my phone if she saw this!

I am, as usual, torn between wanting to move things forward, and not wanting to come on too strong (or appear bold in text, but a p*ssy in person). I don't know what the right balance is.
 

nroug7

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 20, 2013
Messages
233
Reaction score
9
Location
Australia
d0g said:
NN, you're a master of boldness, that's for sure. This is so against everything she's seen from me so far (i.e. a very unaggressive dude) that I'm pretty sure she'd think someone stole my phone if she saw this!

I am, as usual, torn between wanting to move things forward, and not wanting to come on too strong (or appear bold in text, but a p*ssy in person). I don't know what the right balance is.
You need to be more upfront with your sexuality, make moves straight up
Even if its against what you normally think.
I know what you're thinking, your here to master the secrets of don juanism. But it's not actually like that.
There are no secrets. There are techniques, but they remain so only until you learn to enjoy rejection and flirting with girls, cause underneath that cold exterior, they are beautiful creatures.
Embrace the jerk for a while, become arrogant, then simmer down.
 

d0g

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2012
Messages
71
Reaction score
3
Location
San Francisco, CA
UPDATE:

Hey guys,

I went with Espi's suggested text (sorry, Harry W. ;-)). I was too chicken to pull off the Ninja's line, although it's epic!

Response: she's "busy" tonight and away tomorrow, but suggested we meet up next week. So while this is not good, I reckon there's a decent chance I'll get to see her next week.

I'll report back after I try my luck again in a week's time.

Thanks again to you all for your help!

Later,
d0g
 

Demonpenz

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2010
Messages
446
Reaction score
19
Seems like you can't win this battle, the way to win the war would be to find a woman who do anything to have sex with you. This female seems like a waste of your time.
 

nroug7

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 20, 2013
Messages
233
Reaction score
9
Location
Australia
Should of pulled the sexxy line, If you lose her you lose her, that's too bad, there's billions of other women out there though.
Don't get too down on it and don't wait patiently for your next date.
Single time is fun time :D get out there and meet some beautiful women!
Carpe Diem!
 

d0g

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2012
Messages
71
Reaction score
3
Location
San Francisco, CA
The "sexxy" line is awesome. I hope to use it someday once I've grown a pair of balls (and assuming I again get stuck in a situation in which there's "unfinished business").
 
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
67
Reaction score
3
d0g, don't worry man. Just plan a date next week. She's willing to meet up with you, so she's still interested. Go get her :).
 

d0g

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2012
Messages
71
Reaction score
3
Location
San Francisco, CA
Thanks. I'm going to wait until next Monday before I contact her, since she's away until the end of this weekend. I'm thinking of making it a phonecall this time, with a specific plan.

I don't like going through several rounds of "oh, Tuesday night isn't good for me, what about Wednesday?", "I'm busy on Wednesday, can you do Thursday?" etc., so I tend to start off with a question: "I'd like to hang out with you again. Which nights are you free this week?". I then propose a specific time and activity on one of the days I now know work for both of us. What are your thoughts on this strategy?

Later,
d0g
 
Top