Big Pappy's text message post almost caused me to lose the virginity

I know someone else on here got laid indirectly because of Big Pappy. Well here is my story

I read that post and decided to text message to this girl i met one time and had no intention of ever calling again. I sent the one about Sex is like Mathematics basically as a joke. She replied with an IM sayingshe thought that was funny and asking if it was an invite. I was like So i sent her a text saying "If you think you can handle me" (complete BS, I am a virgin and she has lots of experience) She writes back saying something about how she thinks i am some player. So i respond with "I knew you couldnt handle me" She says i really want to come over right now and show you that i can but i dont want to get used. So the conversation goes on for a while and she basically said she wanted to go out on a date before she slept with me. So I agreed to take her out on a date

Fast forward she flakes on the first and calls me late that night saying she left her phone somewhere and just then saw that i called. So i was like well lets go out tomorrow and she agrees and tells me to call her the next day. I call her the next day in attempt to set up plans but she was like i will call you back later i have to pick up my brother. 5 hours later its about 7:30 and she hasnt called so i call her. She tells me she completely forgot and i was like well are we still going out tonight and she was like tonight is a bad night. So i gave her the maybe some other time and left it at that.

What did I do wrong? I thought this was a sure thing. Also, Big pappy those text messages are gold. I will use them in the future as well.

You called her too much bro.

She wont give up the poon unless you buy her dinner first??

WTF?

She tried to make you her pimp, LOL!

I would have treated this as a shyt test and not agreed to the date, or at least I woulda changed it on my terms and get her to buy ME dinner and treat me like a king before I let her get a hold of the royal scepter!

good idea. I guess i choked under the pressure of losing my virginity. I should have thought it out more and shouldnt have called 3 times trying to set up a date. Both times after the first time I called her i was thinking I shouldnt but i just want to set up a date and both times on the phone she pulled the I have to go bs. Oh well maybe next time.

No such thing as a sure thing. There are too many variables for that. A few weeks ago I would have recommend you just give up and stop talking to her, but last week something happened that changed my opinion. A got a girl's number and she flaked for about a month. Literally. Well she came over and we hung out for the first time last Monday. I slept with her on the first date and she hasn't left me alone since...so I'd give it a few more tries before throwing in the towel.

I wouldn't call so much because it sounds like you're pestering her. Call her in a few days and ask her which days she's available. She'll give you 2 days or so. If one of those days are good for you then pencil something in. Let her know that you're really busy this week and to let you know if she can't make it ahead of time so that you can make other plans.

"She wont give up the poon unless you buy her dinner first??" -Don Ron

Don, you're looking at it the wrong way. She's not exchanging dinner for sex....she's trying to validate the sex with a date. At least if he takes her out, it's a little more traditional than her coming over one late night and just having sex with him. It's all about her feeling better about her decision - justifying it.

i might try again but i think i will wait awhile.

So i was like well lets go out tomorrow and she agrees and tells me to call her the next day.
What did I do wrong?

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Hmmm. Maybe I need to change my user name to Cyrano De Bergerac.

From the dawn of time, women have flaked on men. And, vice-versa.

When a woman flakes, sometimes it's for a good reason. Usually, regrettably, it is because their interest level isn't high enough. A silly text message can break the ice. But, just because the ice is broken, does not mean it's time to do the nasty. This girl was flirting with you. Flirting with sexual innuendo is more fun than pulling the girls pony tail like I did when I was a kid. More fun for both parties.

In my opinion, where you went right:

1. Getting her number
2. making a date with her
3. "maybe some other time"

where you went wrong:
When a lady flakes on you, the next time you communicate with her, by all rights, should be an effort initiated by her. Think about it. She "forgot" or she lost her cell phone. Both of these excuses tell me that she's either terribly busy and disorganized (highly unlikely) or she is a flake.

The best solution to dealing with a flake is to extend the invitation to join you the proper way. There are many "proper" ways. In this example, when you called her back, instead of you calling her, I would tell her:

"Hmmm. Me call you tomorrow? I can understand that you may have been stood up by jerks in the past. But, I'm no jerk. I'm a man. I'll be at XXXX at YYYY o'clock. You'll be there as well. There is no "I'll try to make it". You'll simply arrive on time. "

(Do I need to say that you should be looking her straight in the eyes when you say it?)

If the girl is genuinely busy and "squeezing you in", she will tell you what she has slated for that day. You can either guess or she'll tell you why she might have to change plans.

Either way, her interest level is likely not high enough.


flake behavior calls for switches and coal in the Christmas stocking.


Try this for a text message:

"Just wondering. Are you any good in bed? "





Big Pappy accepts credit only for his success and no blame for any failures other than his own.

delete her number, you lost her, sorry bro. if she wanted to chill she woulda made the time. she is full of ****

Mr.D: Sex is like mathematics. Me + You, Subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and square the pleasure. Fancy a mathematics test?
HB: You're funny . Is that an invite?
Mr.D: If you can handle me.
HB: Are you a player?
Mr.D: I knew you couldn't handle me.
HB: I want to come over there right now and show you I can but I don't want to be used.
blah-blah-blah
HB: Lets go on a date first.
Mr.D: You're probably right...

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For those of you keeping score at home:

• Funny/sexy txt-msg. +1 pt
• When she says are you serious you challenge her. +2 pts
• She checks if you're a player, you say she's just scared. +1 pt
• She says she wants to come over RIGHT NOW but doesn't want to get used... you agree to a date. -5 pts

You didn't score with that last move, homie.

Ok, Bro, here's The Breakdown:

Basically, you played the game, every time she threw you a fastball you hit back twice as hard and kept the suspense going. Your game was running great up until the moment she said she didn't want to get used. Instead of being that player that she DESIRED, you misstook this obvious come-on as a requirement you had to fulfill. Couldn't you see that by saying she wanted you but didn't want to be used she was saying, "I want to Çuck your brains out, no strings attached, but I don't want to come over as the slut I really am." So, instead of hitting back the fast-ball you got fooled by the curve and agreed to take her on a date.

Awwwww.... how cute!

You should've continued to flirt and ignored that comment as nothing more than ASD but, instead, you agreed to the date. Game over right there.

Why. MVPlaya?

Because she NO LONGER WANTS TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU. You have now ended the flirting game and have put her in a pressured situation because you're clearly expecting sex as a reward for taking her on a date but you no longer have that sensual mystique you kept up earlier and she no longer wants to have sex with you. She's thinking, what if I go out with him and don't like him? Will he still expect me to have sex with him? You see? She doesn't want to go out on a date with you because she'll be in a position of not fulfilling her end of the bargain.

Yes... bargain because:

Mr. Delicious, henceforth referred to as the Buyer, will supply the HB, henceforth referred to as the Seller, with one Date in exhange for the service of Sex. This exchange shall take place in the following order, the Buyer shall set up a date, after which Date the Seller will provide Sex to the Buyer as recompensation for the Date. This Date shall be quid pro quo and must be reciprocated by Sex, if no Sex is supplied by the Seller then this contract shall have been violated.

Clearly, that's not sexy and now she's flaking because she doesn't want to be in this situation with you. Its not a date but a trade. You had her when she said she didn't want to be used. All that line was was her TELLING YOU SHE WANTED TO F_CK YOU RIGHT THERE!!!! But... she tagged on some ASD so that you wouldn't think she's a slut for banging you.

So, instead of hitting the final fast-ball which was an invite with some ASD tagged along. You focused on the ASD and took these words seriously. *Mystique disappears.* By taking the ASD seriously that enigmatic confidence of yours went *Poof!* and out came that insecurity of "oh, I don't want to hurt you! What should I do?" The AFC inside you got out of his cage.

Best way to respond to flaking:

HB: I'm so sorry! I lost my virginity on the bus to the busdriver, and couldn't make it cause he was just too good! Plus, I left my cell phone at home so I couldn't call you!

DJ: Ahh, haha, yea well what a coincidence cause I actually couldnt make it myself, thats the reason I called you at the time we were supposed to meet, cause I was stuck in a huge traffic jam cause of an accident in <part of town>. They cleaned it up now so I'm back, but so much for that, haha. Let's try this again <insert date here> at <time>.


HB: Ok!



You can also replace accident with family death, tea with grandma, or anything else you find funny and suitable.