Love?

I am 28 years old, I've been with numbers of girls but I can say that I've never felt this feeling of Love. I've felt infatuations, cared for someone and had oneitis but it's not the same. Sometimes I thought to myself that I might have a heart made of stones, I am quite worried.

Is this normal? Will I ever get this feeling? Can someone go through life, having girlfriends/partners/marriages without getting this Love feeling? What is LOVE?

vatoloco said:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpwK3vFGJp0

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I don't know what the video is for because I am asking legitimate questions mate.

Hahaha! Just fucking with you man!

Some say love is the most wonderful feeling in the world, like nothing else you've felt before. Some other say it's just chemical reactions in your brain. Me? Like Forrest Gump once said "I think maybe it's both..."

"What is love?" That word (Love) means many things to different people. It's just as complicated as "What is the meaning of Life?" Instead of breaking my head, I just go through Life enjoying myself and the woman that I am with at the time.

YMMV, of course...

LOVE is that moment when God shows you who your soulmate is. Thats the person you are meant to be with for life. Thats the person who if they grow ugly you will still want to be with them because they have a beautiful soul. P.S i get whats going on here im not dumb....you mAY be in LOVE and its OK. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise or argue you into submission.

i've felt it, but i think love is a thing that's very hard to come by. When you're in love, you lose yourself in it and the reason is because you drop all your barriers and let each other become your reason to live.

Love is an overdose of emotions. It's when 5 O'clock rolls around and the first thing on your mind is how fast you can get home, because when you get home she's there. When a million dollars mean zilch compared to spending a weekend in bed with her. Love is when you wake up in the morning and see her face next to you, you're first reaction is smile and the second reaction is the thought of gratitude that you can still embrace this moment. Love is when you realize, that even if she was old, wrinkly, and hunchbacked that you'd still rush home to see her. That's love. Love is also pretty fvcking AFC!

Love is not is a DJ trait but controlled doses of love can be.

Head over heels love causes you to drop all your barriers of protection, cut lots of of goals and maybe even shorten your dreams because she becomes your new dream. Your new goal becomes making her life better. Love isn't healthy and lots of times turns into love/hate due to the OD. You end up not being able to live with them but at the same time not being able to live without them.

Love is naive but it's also at its purest form as it's inexperienced. I think there's a difference between being in love (what you're talking about) and loving someone.

DJ should lived balanced lives and therefor should also balance out their emotions. This means no to the above.
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Also you've probably never been in love because you've never been in a serious LTR. When you meet someone you like and end up spending enough time with them over a long period of time, you'll get somewhere near the feeling of love. Not sure if that's something you should be searching for though.

AAAgent said:

Love is also pretty fvcking AFC!

Love is not is a DJ trait but controlled doses of love can be.

Head over heels love causes you to drop all your barriers of protection, cut lots of of goals and maybe even shorten your dreams because she becomes your new dream. Your new goal becomes making her life better. Love isn't healthy and lots of times turns into love/hate due to the OD. You end up not being able to live with them but at the same time not being able to live without them.

Love is naive but it's also at its purest form as it's inexperienced. I think there's a difference between being in love (what you're talking about) and loving someone.

DJ should lived balanced lives and therefor should also balance out their emotions. This means no to the above.

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You are Correct. Thanks for correcting me.

Then try to feel something for one. then be with her!

Love is weakness leaving the body.

The way males experience love is different from the way females experience it.

Unfortunately the portrayals of love that are thrown at us by the media (love songs, commercials, chick flicks, faggot books like Twilight) show a more feminised version which is all mystical and magical. This feminised version is what is commonly described as 'love' in the way we know it. Unfortunately a lot of men are conditioned by the media, and by mothers/other women in their lives to experience and perceive love in a more feminised way...making them AFCs.

So I don't think it's strange that the OP has never experienced love in this feminised, $hitty way that the media and society ramble on about. I never have and it's not because I have something wrong with me.

It's because I am male.


Also:

vatoloco said:

Hahaha! Just fucking with you man!

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How come you can say f*ck without it becoming censored? Do you have special powers lol?

You're fine man. I'm there with ya. You just need not be concerned with finding love in a woman, but finding love in/for yourself. If you get too concerned about finding love, you're not gonna enjoy life and the relations with women you have now.

There's different kinds of love. But I think if you've felt oneitis you can love. I think oneitis is the same emotion as love - you're desiring a woman.

Some say oneitis is infatuation. I think if you love the right girl and she loves you back, that's love.
If you love someone that's wrong for you, or who doesn't return your affections, that's oneitis.

Of course true love is when you really care about what happens to the person, beyond whatever passion you feel.

bigneil said:

Love is weakness leaving the body.

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I don't thing so ..
Love it is power, not weakness!

its a good question that i have no answer for either. ive dated dozens of girls and have yet to get that love feeling. I think ive come close once or twice when being in long term relationships but never truly felt it. I just look at it as if i havnt found a girl worth loving to tell you the truth

The strongest feeling i have gotten is the urge to make a woman my gf, hang out with her, make love to her, and this feeling and these thoughts of her invade my mind for maybe months. I don't know if this is love or just having a crush on someone..

The last time i thought about a woman on a daily basis for so long like this was when i had a crush on a girl in high school. Ever since then i have been with women, thought about countless women but none i would get truly upset if they left me. I just don't care that much.

Sure i've met women i wish i was going out with but the feeling was way different than me having a crush back in my afc high school days. Now when I think about a woman often it's because of the urge to secks her. I got no feelings of making her my gf or spending quality time together. I just don't care..

i don't think i know what love is and i'm happy I don't. Love makes men do stupid things (like marriage). I wouldn't mind experiencing love...when im in my mid 40s and successful. For now i rather just rather live life to the fullest..

You will meet someone you really like. Someone who you have many things in common with. Someone who you wouldnt mind being trapped on an island with.

Order! Order!

Love has many definitions. Find your own.

It's great to be loved, don't get me wrong.

But call it what you want, love is always, and forever will be, a four-letter word.

Don't let love control you. Grab life by the horns! And sometimes you will discover that your princess is in another castle. Just go through the different worlds to find her.

Case closed. Happy hunting!:rockon:

If you guys read what i wrote earlier, the feeling love that everyone is talking that make men and women crazy is basically what happens when two people fully trust each other to give 100% to the other person.

The people that don't feel love are the ones that never fully open themselves to another person. It makes sense, as emotionally opening yourself up to women will leave you vulnerable and allows men to be wrecked by women and its what drove many men here to SS. SS teaches me to control everything including emotions and have healthy doses of it. Most men are one extreme or the other though being they open themselves completely to women and get hurt or never open themselves enough to women and never feel loved.

There's multiple DJ posts about protecting yourself and how to do it, in the process of putting these barriers up you block a lot of attempts and chances to actually fall in love.

Other's that haven't fallen in love have probably been with women who they have themselves deemed not worthy to put down their barriers for.
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Example:

My DJ friend, will never move in with his girlfriends. He mentioned that he would get a pre-nup. He also said he wouldn't marry his longtime girlfriend until he had atleast the same money as her as he wouldn't want her to dictate the relationship. He said its not that he doesn't care about her but he's been with so many women he never completely trusts a woman as she can turn on you any minute.

He gets butterflies every once in a while but they die real quick and all his relationships get dull because he says he never lets the women break down his shield.
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How do you fall in love, you one find the right girl who you feel comfortable putting your shield down for, two find a girl willing to break through all your barriers (rare but there are aggressive girls out there who go after what they want like men), or 3 be an afc.

Alot of theese posts are incorrect. Affection and infatuation is a by product of love, but that is not what love is. There is only one pure form of love on this planet, and that is the one that comes from God. Compare your love to that of which God provides to explain if what you have is true love. Example: God sacrifice himself for you, God never betrayed you, God always forgives you regardless of the circumstances. If you can posess theese qualities for a woman than you certainly love her.