Quick theory/question

I may have stumbled upon an interesting phenomenon the past couple of days, and I wanted to see if it held any merit.

In the past, in cases that I pursued a girl and was rejected/turned down, people seemed to know quickly that I "liked" her. I'd talk to a HB once, afterwards my friends would rag on me because they know that I "liked" her. At one of my previous jobs, same thing.

Recently, a girl I know from work and I have been hitting it off. We usually sit near each other and keep in contact at work. To my surprise, no one has said anything to me. This includes my friends, who I figure would pick up on this in a second. There hasn't even been a, "Mr. Goods, you and HB seem to be around each other a lot."

So, my theory is this (applies to day game only, not bars/clubs): People will only pick up on me (or any guy) hitting on a girl if he seems noticeably more interested than she does. If the girl seems interested as well, things will just seem normal. I could be completely wrong - maybe the people at work don't care/notice. Maybe I've become better at masking my intent, who knows. It's simply a theory. Does it hold any weight?

Yeah, possible. But, therefore, it could mean they come to tell you that ("you seem to like this girl") when they think (hope?) you're gonna crash and burn... Like children pinching and asking does it hurt?

But you don't seem to realize that...
Don't you think there is some potential jealousy at work here?

Why do you care if people know you're interested in a girl? You should have no problem with that. They are envious because you have the balls to let it be known. Most guys hide their sexual interest, which just gets them put in the friend zone.

Here's something that happened to me about a week ago: I went to the theater where I act, and I helped strike a set for a play that just closed. There were about nine other people there, including this chick I'd never seen before. Right in front of everyone, I said, "Now, I know she's new. You remember someone who looks like that." Me and her talked on and off for the duration of the work.

A few days later, in front of some of these same people, I asked her friend where she was, because I'd like to see her again. A couple of the other guys said stuff like "Guess we know what's on his mind" and "Yeah, real subtle." I said, "Life's too short for subtle."

If you worry about other people knowing you're interested in a girl, you are denying yourself the freedom to be honest about your intentions. Always be honest. It makes life easier, and the women love it. Like you or not, they know where you stand. You may not get the pu$$y, but you won't get stuck as a "friend". You know, like a neutered dog.

Alanswer said:

Yeah, possible. But, therefore, it could mean they come to tell you that ("you seem to like this girl") when they think (hope?) you're gonna crash and burn... Like children pinching and asking does it hurt?

But you don't seem to realize that...
Don't you think there is some potential jealousy at work here?

Click to expand...

Interesting though. It could be a possibility, though I don't feel it's necessarily correct. In high school, you probably would be right. In college, I'm not as sure because some of the people who were making remarks were in relationships. The one time it happened at work a few years ago, I don't think anyone was hoping it would "fail" and none of them would be jealous.

Again, it's just an theory, that's all. Maybe it comes to mind for me more because I was bugged beyond belief in certain situations, moreso than anyone else I know ever being bugged about it.

Mr. Goods said:

I'd talk to a HB once, afterwards my friends would rag on me because they know that I "liked" her. At one of my previous jobs, same thing.

Click to expand...

Something that we humans tend to do subconsciously is to speak of our attraction levels via body language. More than likely, if you were stricken with a particular HB, your body "spoke" of your very high interest and your friends used to pick it up.

I have this buddy who is one of my Padawans. After his oneitis LJBFed him, he came to me for advice. I told him "It's about [insert girl's name here], isn't it?" "How did you know!? I never told you anything!" "Dude, your body language gave it away! You were obviously WAAAAY into her."

Whenever he was in her presence, his whole demeanor was of "Hey you [insert girl's name here], look at me! I'm here. Please look at me. Pretty please? For the love of God, PLEASE LOVE MEEEE!!!!"

Now that I know what's going on, I control my body language when I see a woman who I'm absolutely stunned by. I recommend everyone do the same.

are you trying to hide the fact that you like a girl? your friend would rag on you for liking a girl? I think your friend are stupid.
what's wrong with liking girls? they got cooties or something?