No escalation after 6 dates...

Pimp-sicle · Oct 26, 2010

Jeffst1980 said:
Oh no...don't tell me you admitted to stalking her online...

Your main problem is that you're putting a ton of pressure on her--that's needy behavior, and being needy NEVER works. You want to maintain a cool, collected exterior no matter WHAT happens...that's what having an attractive personality is all about.

From here on out, you should just ASSUME that she isn't going to put out and only hang out with her if you genuinely WANT to. There's no point to discussing things with her, because discussing a relationship (real or imagined) is an interest level killer. You don't want to seem outcome dependent, or she'll continue to feel pressured by you.

What you should be doing (if you decide to keep seeing her) is forcing more and more compliance from her. Have her run errands for you, or help you with something, or rearrange her schedule for you. Get her to INVEST in you. Compliance is the bottleneck to getting physical; a woman that does not comply with your requests will refuse your advances.

I seriously doubt she's banging other guys; if she was, she'd never contact you.

Completely agree with this post by Jeff!

Furthermore I know your trying to move on, but while you were involved in it you kept reiterating that this girl is REALLY REALLY interested in you, but you failed to adhere to one of the most basic DJ rules;

"for her true intentions, watch only what a woman does, NOT what she says!"

And all the crap she's giving you about not being ready is complete and utter BS! As another poster pointed out, sexual attraction is a biological response that you can't turn on and off like a light switch.

Your making the right move cutting this woman off, but the KEY is you can't go back to her once she starts calling again. That will make you look weak...

Just simply let her know your no longer interested and wish her the best.

In the future, focus on having fun, getting to know the girl and creating attraction. If you do these 3 things correctly you'll never run into issues like this....

You've got a girl who enjoys all the attention your giving her, ego stroking; but she does not have any physical attraction for you and that will not change.

PIMP

DJ SO STEVE · Oct 26, 2010

Pimp-sicle said:
Your making the right move cutting this woman off, but the KEY is you can't go back to her once she starts calling again. That will make you look weak...

Just simply let her know your no longer interested and wish her the best.

I will not look back on this, if she contacts me once, I will ignore, if she contacts me again I'll tell her I'm no longer interested and wish her the best.

Pimp-sicle said:
In the future, focus on having fun, getting to know the girl and creating attraction. If you do these 3 things correctly you'll never run into issues like this....

PIMP

I'm meeting this new chick tomorrow, going to play pool. I'll focus on fun, getting to know her and creating attraction. I've been reading "The Game" and currently on page 80 of 4xx. Read many materials, so have a few tricks up my sleeve like cold reading, how to DHV, etc.

What do you think of Mystery's method of initiating a kiss.

"Would you like to kiss me?"

I'm thinking about trying that after creating kino and depending on how comfortable she is.

cordoncordon · Oct 26, 2010

DJ SO STEVE said:
Okay finally grabbed my balls back and deleted her off of blackberry messenger. Soon she will see I'm not on her list. Not going to pick up her calls or text if she ever contacts me.

END OF STORY

I think you are going from one extreme to the other. What has this girl ever done to you that was so mean that all of a sudden you go from exchanging multiple texts and phone calls with her, going out, etc. to where you won't even return her phone calls? She has said from day one what she wanted...to take it slow. She hasn't mislead you in the least. You are the one getting all emotional-LIKE A GIRL-and making all these extreme statements and actions like now saying you won't ever speak to her again and that she should leave you alone. Really REALLY odd behavior on your part. If I were her I would think you were some sort of bi polar. No wonder she isn't putting out. I would imagine this isn't the only time you've acted like this.

Instead of making all of these extreme actions and statements, why don't you just be friendly, act nice, be a good person. And if/when she calls, talk to her. Tell her you've been super busy and having a great time doing "whatever". But don't ask her out. Don't you CALL her. Let her initiate everything and maybe, just maybe, this will give her the kick in the pants to have sex with you. And if not? So what. You had fun with her and now you are moving on. And she will always remember you as the great guy who got away instead of the complete psycho who all of a sudden stopped talking to her for no reason whatsoever.

DJ SO STEVE · Oct 26, 2010

cordoncordon said:
She hasn't mislead you in the least.

This reminds me of a perfect example where after an LTR I had I had to wait 1.5-2 years to get over her before I got into other relationships with women. I told women I wasn't ready because in fact I wasn't ready to start an exclusive relationship cause it wouldn't be fair to the girl(s).

I however was able to bang a fair amount of them. In her case she's not ready but is not willing to do anything physical with me. We are biological human beings as said above and even if we are not ready to commit we still want to be intimate.

So this means her "I'm not ready" is pure BS!!!!

cordoncordon said:
Instead of making all of these extreme actions and statements, why don't you just be friendly, act nice, be a good person. And if/when she calls, talk to her. Tell her you've been super busy and having a great time doing "whatever". But don't ask her out. Don't you CALL her. Let her initiate everything and maybe, just maybe, this will give her the kick in the pants to have sex with you. And if not? So what. You had fun with her and now you are moving on. And she will always remember you as the great guy who got away instead of the complete psycho who all of a sudden stopped talking to her for no reason whatsoever.

Are you friggin' serious? I don't give two sh*ts about wanting to be remembered as "THE GREAT GUY" that never got any puzzy. Time is money and I don't have time to waste on these kind of people.

She actually neg hit me twice on our last meetup last Friday.
I helped her pick up her books she didn't sell at her university. Whole bag full. She was having trouble lifting the bag, I offered to carry the bag.

She says "Are you sure you can lift that"? Right there she challenged my masculinity. She knows I workout at the gym 4 times a week and I'm an athletic person, I really didn't understand the goal in her saying that.

Same day she was talking about lulu lemon after her yoga class and called me a girl for no reason as a joke. I don't need this.

At least since I deleted her, when she sees it, it will either lower her ego or not I still don't care. At least I walked away with my dignity. She's one of those girls that thinks she's the sh*t anyway.

I don't know if you've read the whole thread but I'm surprise you would think she may come around if I let her do the initiating...

cordoncordon · Oct 26, 2010

DJ SO STEVE said:
This reminds me of a perfect example where after an LTR I had I had to wait 1.5-2 years to get over her before I got into other relationships with women. I told women I wasn't ready because in fact I wasn't ready to start an exclusive relationship cause it wouldn't be fair to the girl(s).

I however was able to bang a fair amount of them. In her case she's not ready but is not willing to do anything physical with me. We are biological human beings as said above and even if we are not ready to commit we still want to be intimate.

So this means her "I'm not ready" is pure BS!!!!

Are you friggin' serious? I don't give two sh*ts about wanting to be remembered as "THE GREAT GUY" that never got any puzzy. Time is money and I don't have time to waste on these kind of people.

She actually neg hit me twice on our last meetup last Friday.
I helped her pick up her books she didn't sell at her university. Whole bag full. She was having trouble lifting the bag, I offered to carry the bag.

She says "Are you sure you can lift that"? Right there she challenged my masculinity. She knows I workout at the gym 4 times a week and I'm an athletic person, I really didn't understand the goal in her saying that.

Same day she was talking about lulu lemon after her yoga class and called me a girl for no reason as a joke. I don't need this.

At least since I deleted her, when she sees it, it will either lower her ego or not I still don't care. At least I walked away with my dignity. She's one of those girls that thinks she's the sh*t anyway.

I don't know if you've read the whole thread but I'm surprise you would think she may come around if I let her do the initiating...

What I said went right over your head. And your response only confirms what I suspected. You are WAY too emotional. Up and down like a yoyo. I wouldnt have sex with you either lol. And that thing you did in the car about seeing her on the internet. I am POSITIVE this is not the only example of your emotional/stalkerish behavior that you have shown her. This is probably a lost cause at this point, but IF there is any hope, do what I said. And that is, be happy!

There is a great great scene from a great great movie_Boiler Room-with Ben Affleck where he gives a speech. The basic theme of the scene is....ACT AS IF. Repeat...ACT AS IF....her not having sex with you doesn't bother you in the least. Act as if your life is wonderful and if she won't put out, there are many girls out there that will. Act as if you are a great and busy guy and you would LOVE to be friends with this girl, all they while you are banging her friends or whomever.

DJ SO STEVE · Oct 26, 2010

cordoncordon said:
What I said went right over your head. And your response only confirms what I suspected. You are WAY too emotional. Up and down like a yoyo. I wouldnt have sex with you either lol. And that thing you did in the car about seeing her on the internet. I am POSITIVE this is not the only example of your emotional/stalkerish behavior that you have shown her. This is probably a lost cause at this point, but IF there is any hope, do what I said. And that is, be happy!

There is a great great scene from a great great movie_Boiler Room-with Ben Affleck where he gives a speech. The basic theme of the scene is....ACT AS IF. Repeat...ACT AS IF....her not having sex with you doesn't bother you in the least. Act as if your life is wonderful and if she won't put out, there are many girls out there that will. Act as if you are a great and busy guy and you would LOVE to be friends with this girl, all they while you are banging her friends or whomever.

Well how about the 2 strike rule then NEXT if no compliance? We really don't need any more girlfriends than we already have seriously...

cordoncordon · Oct 26, 2010

DJ SO STEVE said:
Well how about the 2 strike rule then NEXT if no compliance? We really don't need any more girlfriends than we already have seriously...

BTW she is joking about and questioning your masculinity and calling you a girl because you have been acting like one. Same reason why she hasn't had sex with you. I mean I am calling you a girl and I don't even know you, I just see what I see on a message board. She has actually been with you on multiple occasions, so to her I am sure it is pretty obvious what kind of guy you are, or at least how you have been acting around her.

cordoncordon · Oct 26, 2010

Watch these two scenes from Boiler Room and start applying them to your own life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f14M5NQ3n5s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvICN8DNMpY

DJ SO STEVE · Oct 26, 2010

cordoncordon said:
Watch these two scenes from Boiler Room and start applying them to your own life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f14M5NQ3n5s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvICN8DNMpY

Acting as if you are the president, or some big shot would come off as being ****y and not funny.

Being arrogant and not caring about what people think does not sound attractive even if you do achieve whatever goals you set for yourself.

I have absoloutly no problems getting numbers, and getting girls out.
Closing is where I have a problem. I have learnt from my mistakes with the previous girl and will not look back. I'm always looking for ways to improve.

cordoncordon · Oct 26, 2010

DJ SO STEVE said:
Acting as if you are the president, or some big shot would come off as being ****y and not funny.

Being arrogant and not caring about what people think does not sound attractive even if you do achieve whatever goals you set for yourself.

I have absoloutly no problems getting numbers, and getting girls out.
Closing is where I have a problem. I have learnt from my mistakes with the previous girl and will not look back. I'm always looking for ways to improve.

Again, it went right over your head. I said apply the act as if motto to your specific life or issue. In this case, you have been acting like a little girl, demanding sex when she has made it clear she doesn't want to, and then getting all huffy and girl like by not talking to her anymore. Instead, act as if you dont NEED to have sex with her, that you are having sex or have the option to have sex with plenty of other girls, and life is great.

No offense, but I'm not even dating you and I'm already exhausted just talking to you. You really do need to grow some balls, relax, and stop over analyzing EVERYTHING. You remind me of Mark Zuckerburg in "The Social Network".

Pimp-sicle · Oct 27, 2010

DJ SO STEVE said:
What do you think of Mystery's method of initiating a kiss.

"Would you like to kiss me?"

Lots of newbies try to emulate popular pick up artists like Mystery, but what you really need is congruency. I don't necessarily agree with CordonCordon's advice to keep talking to her if she calls, but I understand what he's trying to tell you. And that is, your mindset, your actions should align and show any girl you meet that

a) they are lucky to be spending time with you

b) you know they are attracted to you and you can have sex with them

I don't really know how to explain it other than to say girls are incredible, like a blood hound at sniffing bs in a guy's actions and words. The book "The Game" is a good read, more of a lesson on not getting too consumed into the world of pick up because of what it can do to you, more than anything else.

My point being, once you work on creating and amplifying attraction with a girl, you can get away with MURDER and she will STILL want to fuvk you if you did your job right in the beginning.

Back to CordonCordon, his basic lesson is to "fake it til you make it." Think to yourself, if I was extremely confident around woman and didn't care what happened in any interaction, how would I act? When you get this down pat, you truly won't give two shi@ts about any one situation because whether you have other girls at that time or not, you know you can always meet more.

Focus on having fun tomorrow, don't be so OUTCOME based. Have fun, tease her, flirt with her and see how she reacts. If she's buying what your offering she'll make it simple to get physical.

Good luck...

PIMP

DJ SO STEVE · Oct 27, 2010

Pimp-sicle said:
PIMP

Thanks, that clears a lot of things up!

BeyondCharm · Oct 27, 2010

It takes a while to shift into a natural groove. Essentially that is what being a DJ is all about. It's a term that describes the ability to naturally flow in conversations, to create rapport with almost anyone, to project a positive, open, inviting, strong, confident, powerful vibe that women want to experience more and more of. You are on your way to that by the sheer fact that you are landing dates and going out. So my advice:

Have fun. Don't worry so much about expectations of "when" the first kiss should happen. Let your balls be your guide, or the force, so to speak. You need to MAKE the moves, since you're the man. It sounds like you are afraid of taking chances and advancing the physical chemistry. It sounds like you're so wrapped up in her "story" of the "past" that you are using it to justify and rationilize why you haven't made the appropriate moves. You should keep increasing the sexual chemistry, kissing, kino, private movie night at your place, and sex. It's really quite simple and once you realize how simple it is, the hardest part will be restraining yourself from fvcking every girl who glances your direction because you'll know you could if you wanted to, with the exception of a few unavailable flirts who seek attention only.

Bluntmaster · Oct 27, 2010

Why is this thread still going? He should have just taken my advice and DUMPED her and if she had any interest she would have changed her tune.

Just tell her "this isn't working out. Bye"

And be done with it. If she comes back then deal with her, if not then goodbye.

DJ SO STEVE · Oct 28, 2010

Hey just got back from date #1 with a new chick. I got rid of the last one, just bounced deleted her off BBM. No need to explain if she messages or calls me, its over. I'll try not to let the cheap talks that girls give get the best of me. This was a good wake up call.

When I get comfortable I tend to get soft, I'll work on that.

I'm starting to 100% think dinner is a total waste of time & money when going out with new chicks. Day 1 keep it exciting + kino, Day 2 movie night at my place or if she's not that comfortable yet keep it exciting + kino, but Day 3 movie night at my place, put the flag down.

Not progressing.... NEXT!!!

Iceberg · Oct 28, 2010

DJ SO STEVE said:
Hey just got back from date #1 with a new chick. I got rid of the last one, just bounced deleted her off BBM. No need to explain if she messages or calls me, its over. I'll try not to let the cheap talks that girls give get the best of me. This was a good wake up call.

When I get comfortable I tend to get soft, I'll work on that.

I'm starting to 100% think dinner is a total waste of time & money when going out with new chicks. Day 1 keep it exciting + kino, Day 2 movie night at my place or if she's not that comfortable yet keep it exciting + kino, but Day 3 movie night at my place, put the flag down.

Not progressing.... NEXT!!!

It absolutely is. Stick with drinks and appetizers at a relaxed music venue, bro. Mostly drinks though.

cordoncordon · Oct 28, 2010

Iceberg said:
It absolutely is. Stick with drinks and appetizers at a relaxed music venue, bro. Mostly drinks though.

Bingo. I have never understood the whole "lets go stare at each other, watching each other eat all self conscious like, stuffing our faces, paying a ton, filling our stomachs to the point where all we want to do is go lay down on the couch and go to sleep", kind of date. So much better to hit up a fun lounge or bar, be in the middle of other fun people, have some drinks, maybe an app., and set the mood for S E X.

DJ SO STEVE · Oct 28, 2010

cordoncordon said:
Set the mood for S E X.

Right on target!

jophil28 · Oct 28, 2010

DJ SO STEVE said:
Hey just got back from date #1 with a new chick. I got rid of the last one, just bounced deleted her off BBM. No need to explain if she messages or calls me, its over.

It is unlikely that she will be OK with silence from you. It is more likely that she will be confused and miffed that you are not chasing her anymore.
Women have a white hot hatred for that and they often pursue a man who ignores them like a dog chases a car.
The only way that I have found to delete her and have her leave you alone if she persists in harrassing you is to let her know that she has been replaced .

An example--
She writes," Hey Steve, how are you ?"
You," Look I have met someone else who is more ....well, you know. :yes: "
(Allow her imagination to fill in the details)

That usually does the job because her ego is under challenge.
However occasionally you will encounter a woman who cannot take any kind of rejection and continues to hound you looking for an opportunity to land a punch by eventually dumping you .The only way to deal with such women is with thundering silence.

DJ SO STEVE · Oct 28, 2010

jophil28 said:
It is unlikely that she will be OK with silence from you. It is more likely that she will be confused and miffed that you are not chasing her anymore.
Women have a white hot hatred for that and they often pursue a man who ignores them like a dog chases a car.
The only way that I have found to delete her and have her leave you alone if she persists in harrassing you is to let her know that she has been replaced .

An example--
She writes," Hey Steve, how are you ?"
You," Look I have met someone else who is more ....well, you know. :yes: "
(Allow her imagination to fill in the details)

That usually does the job because her ego is under challenge.
However occasionally you will encounter a woman who cannot take any kind of rejection and continues to hound you looking for an opportunity to land a punch by eventually dumping you .The only way to deal with such women is with thundering silence.

Words of wisdom, much appreciated :rockon:

No escalation after 6 dates...

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