Dance this Friday (not typical dance)

Hey,

In case you don't know my background situation, this thread pretty much summarizes that: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=137164

Anyways, there is a school dance this Friday for my school. We have had these dances before, but they aren't like normal dress up and bring a girl dances. These are cheap, dirty dances where we got a DJ pumping loud music and a lot of the dancing is grinding.

I have gone to a lot of these dances, thinking I will be able to grind with some girls and maybe get some numbers. Then, however, I freak out like I will freak the girl(s) out and everyone and the teachers (who would see "innocent" me on Monday again) by not being a good dancer. I hardly know how to dance normally, and when I do try, it just doesn't seem right. I have a tall body and my legs are pretty long, so it seems hard for me to loosen up, especially mentally, to dance. I don't want to make a fool of myself.

Then there is grinding. I love it, but I have rarely done it, and when I have, I sort of sucked at it. Some of my friends have commented that on the rare occasions I have grinded that I suck at it because I shake it to much or something like that. Standing still with the girl rubbing her ass in my **** makes it seem like she wants me to move to. I have been told I should just stand still. But then how do I start dancing with a girl? Just walk up to her from behind and wrap my arms with her and enjoy the ride? Doesn't seem right to me. Additionally, one time, I danced with this one girl...really awkward dance, but that's besides the point. The point was when we grinded, I think I freaked her out cause I was grinding too much maybe. Plus, I had a freaking boner and I was trying really hard to de-bonerize (lol) myself by thinking of disgusting things and not breathing a lot, but it wasn't really working. So, since that experience, I have sort of been afraid that if I grind with a girl, I will freak her out with my getting turned-on...I am a guy, I wish they'd understand that.

Anyways, are there any tips to asking girls to dance, dancing in general, grinding, and dancing without a girl at this dance on Friday?

Thanks!

Dancing Biblee

someone800 said:

The point was when we grinded, I think I freaked her out cause I was grinding too much maybe.

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Uh...isn't that the whole of grinding is to her bang her in the ass?

If not im seriously doing something wrong.

*edit check out this video, this is how u do it*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WhCVinITyw&feature=related

Sweet this is my specialty.

Asking girls to dance: Confidence, as with everything else you see here, is key. Approach her from the front, unless she's a dirty slut, you've gotta ask her to dance. The dirty sluts are probably dancing already though, lol. Look her in the eyes, speak loudly and clearly, and CALMLY. If you are looking down when you ask a girl to dance, it already makes it harder for her to hear you because your voice is directed downwards and not towards her. Take deep breaths before you do it, and relax. When you speak loudly and clearly, you will never speak too fast. From my personal experience, having a girl have to lean forward and say "What?" is ALWAYS a bad sign.

Just say something like, "Hey, let's dance."

So you asked her to dance. If she says OK, or obliges, you've won half the battle my friend! If she says no, don't worry about it, girls say no all the time at dancing. Don't let it get to you.

Now the actual dancing part. This part is pretty awkward for most guys, personally the part right before you dance is the hardest, as I'm a GREAT dancer, its hard to tell what the girls want sometimes, because of this. Always remember this:

Girls have trouble dancing too.

I've honestly asked girls to dance to a great hip hop track thats fast, expecting her to grind with me, and she holds on to my shoulders like she's slow dancing and expected me to rock back and forth really fast (like that old middle school slow dance just faster to the song). Most grind by the time high school rolls around though, and your a junior like me so they're probably accustomed to it now.

So just start dancing man, count out the beat to the song to time your movements (as a general dancing tip) I really can't teach you this, you've gotta just hear a couple of songs before you go out and just count out the beats. Most, if not all hip hop songs are in 4/4 time so just count One-Two-Three-Four. Usually at Two and Four count theres a snare, or a hand "clapping" noice (like Lil Jon's "Get Low"....you hear that song all the time at parties.)

Anyways, hold on to her hips with one or both hands (if you do it with one hand you can put your other hand anywhere, as long as its appropriate at first...if it gets more intense all areas are open, but she'll let that be known to you by her actions ), and just grind..

Now the boner part is one of the most important, and I'll explain why. Most girls are fine with the guy getting a boner, as long as he plays it off. When I look at some of my more novice friends dancing, I can tell when they've got a full hard-on from afar. Don't back down. Don't try to keep her close yet at the same time prevent your d1ck from rubbing up against her. Its gonna happen. As long as you aren't at a house party (where the guys just line up on the wall, facing the wall and a girl gets between you and the wall and just grinds on you like a FREAK until you get a boner then moves on to another guy), its bound to happen at some point or another. You just need experience my friend. Don't play it all awkward, again. The best Anti-boner advice is to sing the lyrics of the song, even if you don't know these lyrics. By this I mean, repeat the last thing the MC said in the song. Like in YYT's "Put that thang down" (a great grinding song), at one point the chorus says "She's fine as a supermodel built like a coke bottle...." Just repeat the last word you heard to yourself. Thinking about gross images and stuff works for most people, it works for me too, but I don't suggest it. Why?

Because remember this: You are there to dance. And more importantly, you are there to ENJOY Yourself. A girl can tell if you aren't enjoying yourself. As long as you don't back down, the girl can't complain about your boner. And if she does, reverse the roles! Play the "girls" part of grinding up on the chicks crotch. Why not? Just make sure you have rhythm, again.

Now when you aren't dancing with a girl, you could participate in "exhibitions" or as I call it "circles." Bboys call these "ciphers." I do this alot. In fact, I do this more than I dance with girls just because its fun for me. Plus it gets great attention from the ladies . Make a circle, take turns dancing in the center. If you can't dance really well though, I'd hold off on doing this though. But no worries man, you can easily just find a group of people just dancing and join in, or focus on the approach!

But I saved the most important point for last. I'll repeat what I said earlier:

Alot of girls have trouble dancing too.

In a way, dancing is a battle of sorts. It ends up becoming a great way to have girls LOSE interest in you....because 90% of guys who grind with girls end up being dominated by the chicks, even if the chicks can't dance on beat and they just rock their hips/@ss really well! They are getting de-masculinized by girls who can't even dance!!!!! They back down, even if the girl is messing up herself! Alot of girls just rock their @ss as fast as possible, and expect to get away with it. Man up my friend! Tell her "Let me lead" and sway your hips on beat. Even if you aren't the best of dancers, you will definitely surprise the chick by taking charge. When I go to high school dances, I often get disgusted. Disgusted by the great amount of ugly chicks for one, LOL, but also because of all the guys acting like wimps, holding their pelvis back because they've got a boner, or just standing there like a statue while the girl does all the moving.

Girls only get freaked out when you get turned on because YOU got freaked out. Oh sh1t, I've got a boner, WHAT NOW?

Dance fool! A great amount of chicks even want to feel your c0ck through your clothes. Also, sometimes girls can't even feel it, because they're wearing layers of clothing and YOUR wearing layers of clothing too.

Hey I'm glad someone brought this up. I've never grinded in my life. I've only danced a few times and it was only when I was pretty drunk. I had no idea what I was doing but at that point I didn't care I never ended up getting with the girls I was dancing with but it only happened a few times. On the flipside I don't need to dance to get a girl. One of my mates is decent looking and tall and he just goes in there and grinds and gets girls (albeit the slutty ones). Works for him but I get mine through game.

But I decided I wanted to be able to dance recently. I want to try this sh!t, to have a girl impressed by my dominance and superior dancing. I had no idea how to dance, what to do, or any dance moves (apart from a crappy version of the robot which every guy knows and uses if they have to dance but don't know how, lol). So I did what any normal person would do... I turned to youtube

After searching for 'club dancing' and 'dance tutorials' and sorting through a bit of crap I found Khris Khaos. Check out his video here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=WzRIFjdnEUQ

It looked a bit much for me at first so I turned his basic tutorial. Now it's older and he isn't as good there but it teaches the basics of angles and waves. I moved up through part 2 and 3 which I'm sure you can find.

So after a night of practising and watching his vidoes and pretty much trying stuff out everytime someone wasn't looking. A couple days later at a party I was ready to try something out on the dancefloor and grind with some hot chicks (I watched a video or 2 on this but it looked like all you had to do was hump her @ss lol. Easy? Maybe but I couldn't exactly practise by myself so I was just willing to try it). So there I was... and no girls were on the dancefloor. That's right. They were there but no one was dancing thanks to the crappy music the DJ was playing. I missed the sweet spot of the night too because I was too busy having a good time anyway. But then one chick asked to dance and I agreed. I had told her before I've got no idea how to dance. So then when we got on the dancefloor and I started trying stuff I had learnt she said 'You said you couldn't dance! Even I can't do that!' Not bad for a couple days you think?

Now I've found This guy and he is really good. But now I'm learning to cwalk. Now I can hit the dance floor sober without fear. Hopefully soon I will even be good. It seems like over 90% of guys can't dance, lots just flat out refuse unless they get really drunk. So by being able to dance you have a huge advantage.

(OK I know I'm talking about myself but I have a point and I wanted to share these videos so they can help someone else )

Great post LostAndConfused! It really helped. I'm getting used to excellent replies from you now. I am wondering though when you are in a circle or aren't grinding how do you dance? Seriously, it's like all the guys here can only do the robot, and badly Do you non-grind dance with girls?

Cheers for clearing the whole boner thing up. I'm sure most guys worry about this and many are to afraid to ask or don't know how to find out. After watching some people grind online I kind of realized that it doesn't matter. Hell if a guy can grind and doesn't get a boner something wrong. There's no way I could do that with a hot girl doing that sh!t to me! lol. Before that I also decided that girls wont care or will like it (thanks sosuave!) but as a guy it's kind of embedded in your mind that it's bad and embarrasing. You get one and try to hide it ebarrased. And it high school we aren't really used to using it. My mate with a gf also told me it's neutral to good, never bad (although I'm of the opinion he's never danced with a girl). Maybe its bad NOT to have one? hah

Still we have to keep in mind the being dominant part. It's going to be hard if we don't know what to do and we lack experiance. Still there's this hot chick that I think is into me that is a full on party girl and loves to dance that I'm sure I'll get the chance with next party. I had the opputunity before I hesistated and lost it and ended up dancing with an slightly above average girl instead. There's a lesson in that. Although maybe it's a good thing because I had no idea what I was doing then.

@Redspicyflag: that is pretty sweet but I can't see how you can really learn to dance from reading. You need to see it at least, this me looking on youtube. Although it could have some helpfull pointers so I'll check it out. Cheers.

@Evolution: I found it kind of strange at first. I will actually keep my eyes open first, I don't think I've seen that many people doing it so I wonder if they do it like that here. But your comment about if not your doing it wrong made me laugh.

@LostAndConfused: I've already mentioned the important stuff I want to know from you. But Lil John's Get Low is awesome! It basically says PARTAY to me. It's on a couple times like every party I go to and the girls love it, so do I. Again, thanks for the confidence. I've found a new area to sarge

Haha nice post sinjester, you've done your research well! Lemme talk about some of these youtube dancers because you can learn alot from them!!! This is gonna be a long post haha but it can help ya out. To put it bluntly, yeah, I do all that poppin stuff in circles

First off, lol, I really hate khris khaos... Don't get me wrong, hes a pretty good dancer, maybe even one of the best on youtube, but he gets more attention than he deserves, mainly for this one reason: He speeds up his videos. Hes probably one of the only dancers who do this, its really phoney, it makes him look better than what he really is in person, because speeding up your video makes your moves look cleaner and sharper, plus you look more skilled when you are popping to a 16 count really fast on a 4/4 song. You can probably pick that out and you'll see what I mean if you watch alot of his videos. It's not real dancing. Khaos had a beef with this guy named Paulkid (who was an ***hole but when I started talking to him he really turned out to be cool.), who is now a pretty good dancer! IMO paulkid is better than khaos...they both HATE each other, in fact khaos has this "battle" between them on his youtube account (paul used to suck back then)

heres a good paulkid video, after I told him to stop cwalking lol (he was bad at it). His technique has gotten really good:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UZ14GWARLRo

Also, check out InventFMC...hes one of the best dancers I've seen on youtube, and he would be GREAT for you because he has one of the best dancing tutorials on ALL of youtube! Aspiring poppers should watch his videos! heres his profile:

http://youtube.com/user/inventfmc

For cwalking, check out this guy who I know indirectly (one of my best friends who is into bboying goes to his school):
http://youtube.com/profile?user=rishard

That shihanus guy is probably one of the best youtube dancers out there. Great find, I've never seen him before! His style is very clean, and his technique is amazing. Great dancer. He dances just like the guy who got me into dancing in the first place...I started about two years ago when I went to some party and I saw this circle and this white kid was trying to bboy (breakdance), and when he stepped out, this asian kid stepped in and he was popping really well. His style was just like shihanus'. I approached him later on and he talked to me about it, taught me some basics, and in return I taught him some flashy bboy moves.

And thats how I got started. Anyways thats a long-winded way to answer your question, but thats what I do when I'm in a circle. I'm into popping, gliding, waving, tutting, all of that. I will say though, tutting is one of the coolest things you can do, but its almost IMPOSSIBLE to learn from tutorials. You either have to bite off of people's style or make up your own moves. I've made up a couple of tuts.

But not only are these circles good for attracting girls, but you can also improve yourself by meeting and talking to alot of dancers. The best part about that is you make new friends and learn new moves! Oftentimes when someone makes a circle, other dancers start filling in, and its a great way to meet new people. The only problem is that there can be the ***hole who can dance pretty well but all he does is "burn moves" which try to show-up the other dancers, as if they were actually in a battle. I've seen some mediocre dancers almost start fights because they step in a cipher thinking its a battle, while people are just having fun taking turns solo dancing.

Usually near the end of a party, when girls aren't looking, I'll start breaking out the bboying, because I'm not that serious with it. At that point you've met most of the other guys who can dance at that party and you don't give a sh1t about embarrassing yourself, so you can try almost anything and they respect that.

About the non-grinding dance with girls....You can slow-dance with them, I do it sometimes, but I honestly hate it...its too junior high-school for me. Alot of my friends who are in college now tell me that this sh1t stops quickly in college, as the dancing is more sexual.

Or...you can use the solo-dancing stuff that you learned!!!! This seems like the best option for you, its my favorite thing to do with a girl on the dance floor! This is something I *really* want to do more! Some of my female friends get up really close and we start solo dancing in a way that complements each other. By this I mean I would start with a body wave and suggestively roll my hips, and the girl will respond in her movements too. I think this is the best form of communication, things can get really heated up. Since girls have a more natural affinity for rhythm, finding chicks to do this with you isn't as hard as you'd think. That exhibition stuff you learned, like popping, ticking, waving, gliding and all that? All's game here. its anything goes really, but make sure you connect it with the female. Don't be afraid to be really sexual! Putting your arms on her shoulders at times while your still dancing works wonders. One chick I used to know (she moved) would do this with me all the time, and even in malls and at the movie theaters she'd randomly start grinding on me and we'd dance to no music, lol. Unfortunately, I'm not too well liked at my school so whenever I try this, there isn't a "base" level of interest so I haven't been able to dance like this in a while. plus most of the girls at my school can't dance so they wouldn't know what to do anyways.

And about the boner thing, also, you end up getting de-sensitized to it. Back when I went to a ton of parties, after a while, I didn't get boners that frequently. In fact, at one point unless the girl was good at grinding (like she can drop it down and do more moves than just shaking her ass...any girl can do that really), I wouldn't get a boner at all. I've probably lost that now as I haven't been to a party in a REALLY long time.... .


And if no one is dancing, don't be afraid to be the only guy out there dancing with a girl! Go ahead and approach someone and ask them to dance...all the girls will notice you and the guys will respect or be jealous of ya!

There's essentially two kinds of grinding:
1) Where the girl has her back straight or close to straight, and is right up against your chest.
2) Where the girl is bent forwards at the waist, just rubbin' that ass in there.

For 1) Remember that you don't really want to rub or vibrate or hump her in general. You want to try and gyrate your pelvis' together. If you're taller than her, then put your right arm (if you're right handed) over her shoulder, very close to her neck. You can extend your arm straight out in front to be all gangsta, or (and I think this is much better) rest the palm of your hand on her stomach. Make sure to keep the arm tight against her neck, don't grab her tits (unless you're sure she'll be into it), don't choke her (then you're definitely doing it completely wrong), don't rest all your weight on her. Then just gyrate your pelvis' together. Chicks love this, believe me. Honestly, it feels very very intimate.
For 2) There really isn't much you can do. She's gonna rub that ass in there. I suggest you enjoy it, and don't get her off balance. I'm sure that some gangsta arm and hand movements wouldn't hurt either. Or you can grab her hips.
Don't grab her hips if you're doing grind type 1). It's not nearly as intimate as either the arm past the shoulder straight out or on the stomach.

lol Ive had grind 2 happen to me out of the blue a lot, good times

Also, I would recommend learning some popping moves, or waving or... well anything that's at least a bit structured and has 'moves'. Once you know a few cool looking moves it's much easier to try and experiment. If you've got nothing to go on straight from the top, then it's tough to know what'll look good and what won't. There's dozens of tutorials on both of them on youtube. As a start, learning the standard wave (a wave that travels from one arm to the other) and the body wave (a wave that starts in your arm, moves to your shoulders, then down your torso) would be a good idea. Both are easy to incorporate into other dances, and teach you how to do some types of movements that you probably haven't done before. And seriously, the body wave just looks ridiculously awesome.

Arm Wave Tutorial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhBZtsee7OY&feature=related

Body Wave Tutorial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhAWSxilQcc&feature=related

Erasmus said:

There's essentially two kinds of grinding:
1) Where the girl has her back straight or close to straight, and is right up against your chest.
2) Where the girl is bent forwards at the waist, just rubbin' that ass in there.

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Right. But you said theres not much you can do with number 2? Word? If you approach a girl from the dance floor, even if she goes to your school and you know her, she'll probably be doing number 2. Its more common. Its easier for her to impress you (she can do all the moves like dropping it down low and shaking it like crazy).

Why can't you still gyrate your hips? I do it still and it works. You just have to get it right.

L&C: Hey I never knew Khris Khaoes sped up his videos. I don't really like him that much either. His first few tuturials are ok but the rest of his videos are like an ego trip and him trying to get girls. But damn, speeding up his videos, that's low! How do you know he does that?

I seen the Khris K vs Paulkid video and thought it was funny because Paulkid seemed bad, especially compared to Khris, but he looks heeaaaps better in that one you posted.

That guy you gave the link to has great popping tuts. I like it how he actually gives you stuff to practise rather than just saying 'do this' and showing a routine. This iShad guy looks like a pretty sick cwalker too. Cwalking is probably not great for what we are talking about (dancing with girls) but I like it because I think it looks sweet and want to learn it anyway.

Shihanus, yeah he looks like the best I've seen so far. The tutorial I actually linked to isn't that great for learning. I've found that it's better if you can find videos dedicated to one move ir style, because they usually take it slower and go more in depth. Shihanus's cwalk and spin tutorials are pretty good though.

Where I live there are no bboys lol. So I don't think there will be many, if any, circles at any party I go to. We don't have 'school dances' either, but I just hit the parties on weekends and it's the same but with no teaches and alcahol I think we might have one due to the fact that it's year 12 now.

Why do you say tutting is impossible to learn off vids? I've seen a good tutorial and it doesn't look THAT hard. When I say that I mean in comparison to other stuff. The tuturial just gave you moves and stuff to practise. and lets you create your own tuts though, that's the best way. Hey, I'm not the dancer though. Although I really want to learn it because it looks freakin sweet.

I started trying to dance because I wanted to impress and dance with chicks. I quickly found out that I love it. Damn, even if it wouldn't get me anywhere I would still want to learn. It is fun. I can see my mates hating it though, so I'll just leave it for the dancefloor and when no one is around

Last couple days I've been learning the wave. Arm and body. Now my arm wave is passable yet I don't know how to get it much better. Practise I guess. Body wave still needs work.

Thanks again man.

Well, thanks for all your help. The dance happened, and it (personally) went better than previous dances. I was able to dance a lot more loosely and let it out. I was still a little to myself, but I feel like I was able to have a lot more great time than before.
However, for some reason, this dance had like a third of the amount of people there, and all the few girls that were there, were Freshmen, so I didn't really dance with any girls, except this one I knew. I felt like I overall was able to walk away from this dance happier than previous ones, cause I felt more like I was able to dance, even though I didn't try to dance with girls (weren't much anyways). Got to start somewhere though.
But, yeah, thanks for the motivation and tips, I just let around 75-80% of it outta me tonight and had a blast.

Next stop.....Sweetheart (girls supposed to ask the guy though...)

SinJester said:

L&C: Hey I never knew Khris Khaoes sped up his videos. I don't really like him that much either. His first few tuturials are ok but the rest of his videos are like an ego trip and him trying to get girls. But damn, speeding up his videos, that's low! How do you know he does that?

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Most people can tell hes doing it by the videos where he's dancing outside. They catch something in the background moving really fast. One of my friends said one of his views of him gliding you could see the clouds moving by really fast.

But I personally first found out when I saw that Paulkid vs. KhrisKhaos video the third time (I was showing it to a friend). At the beginning hes krumping, and when he was in his battle stance it looked really off. Krumping is done fast, but the big hits (well the ones he was trying to emphasize) are usually slow. My friend caught it first, saying that something was a little off.

Also, in the Khaos vs Paulkid video, look at Part 2 when he does his alleged "slow style". Doesn't his waves look extremely fast and just...average, not that good at all? When he does his puzzles/mazes those are the biggest indicator.

SinJester said:

Why do you say tutting is impossible to learn off vids? I've seen a good tutorial and it doesn't look THAT hard. When I say that I mean in comparison to other stuff. The tuturial just gave you moves and stuff to practise. and lets you create your own tuts though, that's the best way.

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Well because most great tutting (including tutting with just your fingers), you can't really learn off of a tutorial video. I've seen some videos that show 6 basic tuts that you can make into combos, those are great, but you end up having to use your own creativity...thats what I like about dancing in general. For tutting though, you can either make up stuff or just study other experts' moves (nothin wrong with that though )

SinJester said:

I started trying to dance because I wanted to impress and dance with chicks. I quickly found out that I love it. Damn, even if it wouldn't get me anywhere I would still want to learn. It is fun. I can see my mates hating it though, so I'll just leave it for the dancefloor and when no one is around
Thanks again man.

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Funny thing is, I never started dancing to try to pick up chicks. I just started because it looked cool. Plus I'd see Omarion doing crazy stuff on music videos so I thought why not learn that?

someone800 said:

Well, thanks for all your help. The dance happened, and it (personally) went better than previous dances. I was able to dance a lot more loosely and let it out. I was still a little to myself, but I feel like I was able to have a lot more great time than before.
However, for some reason, this dance had like a third of the amount of people there, and all the few girls that were there, were Freshmen, so I didn't really dance with any girls, except this one I knew. I felt like I overall was able to walk away from this dance happier than previous ones, cause I felt more like I was able to dance, even though I didn't try to dance with girls (weren't much anyways). Got to start somewhere though.
But, yeah, thanks for the motivation and tips, I just let around 75-80% of it outta me tonight and had a blast.

Next stop.....Sweetheart (girls supposed to ask the guy though...)

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Yup sorry man I failed to mention this but, in high school, girls aren't as interested in school dances as they are in parties. Upperclassmen girl do go to school dances, but not as much because they aren't interesting for them...they've got house parties! But its good that you let loose and showed a little more confidence!!! Great job !!!

Next time though, make that effort to approach girls and ask them to dance. Getting rejected isn't even that bad at dances.