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having sympathy for them is not equal to being codependent. although maybe I was being one during the relationship. I mean, some people here see them as these monsters that are out to get you and take pleasure from hurting you. they're not.

I feel that BPD's are being harshly stigmatized on this forum and basically everywhere though. People need to remember that many of the things they do come from the subconscious as coping mechanisms. It's not like they're out to purposefully hurt you. They're just sick human beings that need...

everyone says that like it's guaranteed to happen. is it? because she basically lived fine without me for a month, like I didn't exist. and I won't be surprised if she has a new bf anytime soon.

I know but I said it on the night we breakup so it didn't matter, I was gonna dump her anyway lol. I know, I was in the fog, as they say. And she was on treatment so I thought it might work out. True, my ego wanted to be fed.

I actually confronted her about this. "Can I take it as a hint that you want me to break up with you?" She denied it, of course.

So I finally broke up with her (diagnosed "quiet" BPD) last night after being treated like a stranger for a month (probably I was split black for reasons she didn't know or didn't want to tell me. a new guy is also a possibility). So in a way she broke up with me first, emotionally, and I was...

that'd be ideal, but being a sentimental bastard that I am, I always prefer a "proper" breakup.

Hello, So our relationship has been rocky this past month and yesterday she told me she needs to talk. I'm 80% sure that she's going to dump me. Most of the time when we date, I pay for the food and drop her home. So if tomorrow she dumps me, should I still do both? I'm leaning toward no...

So my BPD GF (I know) just went completely silent after almost a month of push/pull crap. By silent I mean she hasn't replied to my last text for a few days. This is new from her as usually she kept maintaining contact even at her worst. I'm starting to think that this is it, she's ghosting me...

but the thing is she's still silent even when she gets home lol. but maybe I'm reading too much into this and should just call her.

She once said that her job recently got her anxious, so I assumed that's the cause. I just didn't expect it would go on this long, because previously when there's a life problem it didn't affect our texting activity.

Hello, So me and my 5 months gf were heavy texters. It's not rare that we texted from morning til evening continuously. These past 2 weeks or so I noticed that something changed in her texting behavior. Starting from reduced frequency, to short replies, rarely asks questions, to the point that...

Hello, For example you want your fiancee to stop smoking or enter therapy for her depression when you get married and she agrees. On one hand marriage is about growing to be a better person but on the other hand people say don't marry potential. So where do you draw the line?

sorry I have to clarify that she does tell them that she's taken but only when they ask her about it. but if they make a move like asking her out or flirt or something, she just makes some excuse. she's not the confrontational type though so that fact plays some part.

Hello, Long story short, many men hit on my GF and she tells me about them. My concern in particular is about these 2 guys in her office. They haven't stopped approaching so I have a feeling that she's not trying her best in discouraging them. She refuses to go out with them alright but she...

Hello, For example if I ask her who dropped her home from work and she says "a friend" without mentioning her/his name, I'd feel uncomfortable. If I were in his position I'd mention the name so that I don't wonder about things. What do you think? Am I being possessive/unreasonably jealous?

wow, I can't thank you guys enough for the replies. tremendous insights from everyone! Sure, those questions come up in my mind but I'm sometimes afraid they'd sound boring and/or stilted. I know, this is my flaw, I should realize that those kinds of questions could lead to deeper...

Actually there's many things I'd like to talk about, like current affairs and some serious ****, but I know she's not into that, at least not yet. I'm afraid it'd lose her and kill the mood. Maybe I should just go ahead and talk about what I like?

Hello, I've been with this girl for over 3 months and we care for each other so much. One thing that's been bothering me is that our conversations are sometimes awkward, with not-so-comfortable silences. Phone conversation is almost non-existent as I prefer texting. I'm a shy, quiet guy and not...

well no, but she likes me so that's a start.