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PairPlusRoyalFlush 01-31-2012 10:09 AM

Kicked out of social circle
 
The facts: So through a series of unfortunate events I ended up in a total sausage-fest social circle in professional school, with a smattering of UG chicks. The UG chicks run the parties unfortunately and have stopped inviting me to them whereas I used to be invited in the past. I still go to SOME weekday(male only) events with the social circle by invitation but not weekend ones. And they are becoming increasingly awkward because I'm the ONLY one in the room that doesnt go to these events.

Granted, its something of an honor to be rejected by these geeks but I still want to know WHY!


1. In the beginning I sort of ignored the social circle because I was involved with old college friends and some slvts from other social circles. I did hear some somewhat resentful comments regarding this from one guy.
2.Due to these comments I decided to make a business decision to engage this social circle more fully. I was never in the inner circle but I thought I was close.
3. I made the mistake of drunkenly advising a friend, in public at a party, to let his new clingy gf "sit on it" and ignore her texts for a few days. The UG's got so upset and wouldnt even sit next to me when we were all sitting around, so Im sitting on a huge couch by myself
4. I get along well with individual members of the social circle but things do get a bit awkward in the group. I have a strong personality and we rough each other up verbally as guys do but sometimes some of the comments from a few people seem spiteful and malicious, as if I am not respected or am looked down on. Like making fun of the way I talk or mocking me when I make a comment on some chick not being up to par like I have no right to talk or something.
5. I pretty much ignore the UG's to the extent that I am able.

Is there anyway to tell if I'm an annoying person? I've never had problems like this before with friends, especially male friends but its possible that the problems here are reserved to the women. It seems like I might DISGUST the women even though Im a good looking guy and able to spin plates...reminiscent of my AFC days I must say...at the same time I would think that my guy friends in the social circle could get me invited to these events if they pushed for it.

PapiChulo 01-31-2012 05:09 PM

You gotta be agreable and 'appear' to think like everybody else, otherwise you will be quickly ostracized like in your situation. These "nerds" of yours probably can tell what you are really about. Ditch these people and find the ones where you would fit in better. Getting stuck with a crowd like that won't get you laid or meet any interesting people at all. The UGs are thinking you are a d!ck... Women's solidarity goes like this: you offend one and they all start hating on you, you are dating one and they all wanna be dating you !

Serg897 01-31-2012 05:12 PM

Quote:

Ditch these people and find the ones where you would fit in better.

Seconded. You dont need people in your life that are going to ostracize you like that - it seems evident that the other dudes are not real friends if they dont stand up for you.

Deep Dish 01-31-2012 05:53 PM

Quote:

PairPlusRoyalFlush:
Granted, its something of an honor to be rejected by these geeks but I still want to know WHY!
When in doubt, always ask yourself, “WWRGD?”
Quote:

Law 1: Never Outshine the Master
Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

Law 24: Play the Perfect Courtier
The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity. He has mastered the art of indirection; he flatters, yields to superiors, and asserts power over others in the most oblique and graceful manner. Learn and apply the laws of courtiership and there will be no limit to how far you can rise in the court.

Law 38: Think as you like but Behave like others
If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them. They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior. It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.

Law 46: Never appear too Perfect
Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable. Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity.

Gray The Prince 01-31-2012 06:07 PM

Become the founder of a new social circle. Easy.

Domo_Arigatoo 02-01-2012 04:11 AM

Um, why the **** do you care what these people think or how you come off to them? Like you said if they're being spiteful and malicious then that's a character flaw on THEIR part, not yours.

PairPlusRoyalFlush 02-01-2012 12:53 PM

Yeah I went to an event with them last night(just the guys though) and some of them were talking about the upcoming Super bowl party that I(and one other guy there, to be fair) had never heard about...of course I had specifically ASKED one of my good friends if there would be a Super Bowl party and he said no...

The thing is, got along well with everyone at the event to the point where I was the life of the party and I could hear several people even asking the people most connected with the UG's if I would be going...but not asking me, so that might be telling. I really wanted to go to this once I heard there would be flag football, I am 5x the athlete that these nerds are too.

Ultimately you guys are right, thanks for all the great responses. They're being ****heads regardless, no loyalty. Could even be racism involved to be honest, at a minimum it cant be helping. I'd be lying if I said it didnt bother me because I thought that at least some of the guys were legit friends but they have put the UG pu$$y on the pedestal lol. Its telling that I am invited to SOME guy-only events but not UG-infested ones.

Packers2010 02-01-2012 02:19 PM

this is a GOOD thing man. you can get better friends. my " old" friend pushed me around too much. now i don't talk to them no more.

i even hate them! coonts.

time to get some better friends IMO

FairShake 02-01-2012 02:22 PM

You think that your social circle is full of geeks and ugly women and you wonder why they may not like you. Maybe they know you think of them like that. Maybe they don't like that so they make fun of you and freeze you out.

Which begs the question(s)? Why are you hanging around a bunch of geeks and ugly women? And why are they hanging around an azzhole such as yourself? Separate and go your own way.

PrettyBoyAJ 02-01-2012 02:23 PM

Your 27 and your worried about a social group? Seems like if you care about this so much then you don't have your priorities in order. Worry about getting a great job, Worry about having fun by your own damn self. Worry about the next dime your going to get with. But don't worry about what lame dudes are doing.

PairPlusRoyalFlush 02-01-2012 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FairShake
You think that your social circle is full of geeks and ugly women and you wonder why they may not like you. Maybe they know you think of them like that. Maybe they don't like that so they make fun of you and freeze you out.

Which begs the question(s)? Why are you hanging around a bunch of geeks and ugly women? And why are they hanging around an azzhole such as yourself? Separate and go your own way.


Because I'm in a top tier grad school, what kind of people do you think go there? lol.

Its entirely possible that the UG women especially sensed that I was not exactly enthralled with hanging out with them to begin with.

Kenny Powers 02-02-2012 01:53 AM

you dissed the UGs son, that will bite you in the ass every time. You think the "nerds" in your social circle are gonna stand up to a real live woman? That would require balls. You pi$$ off one chicka all the other little hens follow. And all the AFC dudes will sell you down the road because they don't want to lose female friends or risk upsetting the group. Its called group think and its the worst thing ever.

Try calling them out on their shiit. Ask why you weren't invited to the party (you can do it half-kidding if you need to - ex: "what the heck, ug girl why no invite? I told you im showering more now!"). Better yet, throw your own rager of a party and pack the place with people, but don't invite those who diss you in your social circle.

All in all though i think you better start lookin for new group to hang with. This one sounds bad. Gotta be careful not to disrespect people - too many are insecure sheep who give in too group think and social pressure way too easily. I got a few kids in my social circle who annoy the heck outta me, so when i send out a mass text to see if anyone wants to meet up later guess who i leave out?

I know from experience that a bad social circle can be like poison, but in some ways its better than nothing. When my friends and I go to bars they just sit at a table and dont move except to get more drinks. I however walk around, talk with people i know, hit on some hoes, meet new people, take unfinished drinks people left (when im very drunk), etc. But its actually kinda nice to then make my way back to my friends who i can always count on to be chillin at a table like bums. Ill return, be the life of the party, then after i've rebooted my battery get up and repeat the process.

Do what you gotta do. Don't let some ugly biitch push you around. Try flirting with one of them haha, im curious to see what happens. Keep us updated

PairPlusRoyalFlush 03-06-2012 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenny Powers
Try flirting with one of them haha, im curious to see what happens. Keep us updated


Well, I went to a formal school event and it all went well, had a hot date(who was acting like a b!tch though), yadda yadda. Was actually invited to the afterparty(which excluded the UG's). So it all went well. I think I'm back "in" with the guys at least, although I may never be in the inner circle(which is ok). Saw the UG's at the formal, ignored them.

SgtSplacker 03-06-2012 02:40 PM

First thing is that if you have to "pretend" around people then they are not your people. Find some real friends, sounds like you need some fast.

With that being said...

If you do want to be a member of a social circle then you have to practice what I call the "celebrity way". And you do have to practice it because it is the way in big companies you may want to work for eventually. If you don't blend in then you will be pointed out and you don't want that.

The Celebrity Way: Act like a celebrity, lots of smiling, lots of support, lots of good words, looking good and clean always with trident smile. Not too much personal opinion, negativity, complaining, judging. Keep things positive man. Don't trash talk with people you don't trust or know very well. You just don't know what they are going to turn around and do after you turn your back. You don't even know what they really think about what you are saying. You may call a girl a slvt just because of opinion, then they turn around and think you are saying it because you banged her. You just don't know do you? Maybe he likes her secretly, now he hates you. Get it? Your trusting people that have not earned your trust. If you trust them, then you know it's between them and you and they know you better so they will not have misunderstandings.

Kool4Katz 03-06-2012 02:49 PM

IMO friendships should be natural and not forced. Why the hell hang with people you dont love?

LostAndConfused 03-06-2012 03:49 PM

"I think I'm back 'in' with the guys at least..."

"Its entirely possible that the UG women especially sensed that I was not exactly enthralled with hanging out with them to begin with."

I'm reading that you find the guys chill, want to hang out with them, but the women suck.

But then:

"They're being ****heads regardless, no loyalty. Could even be racism involved to be honest, at a minimum it cant be helping."


And you call them "nerds."

What the fvck is wrong with you dude? Why do you even want to waste your time with such anti-poon gamma male kissless virgins?

The "nerds" (according to you) who white-knightedly defends these ugly broads is in clearly the lowest dregs of socio-sexual heirarchy. Please tell me that makes sense to you. Why do you associate with them? You're telling me and everyone else (including the girls you wish to attract) that you're a nerd, just like them. How do you not understand this?

But then I think, you must be a nerd yourself if you can't find a new group of people who are any better than these obsolete specimens of human beings. In that case, please read the above comments from the lovely DJs already in this thread telling you to work on yourself.

"I think I'm back 'in' with the guys at least..." Says it all, dude. Yet you call them nerds. That's omega male down to the bone.


Oh, and I had problems like you with "being hated for no reason" I wised up and stopped caring about those losers, and now they wish they were hanging out with me. You seem alot like me in that you are hated and fvcked by womanfolk at the same time. Ride with that, homie. Take confidence in it. I'm an introverted guy, so I play the mysterious alpha really well. Women, and loser gamma males like these by extension, hate you because you don't adhere to the woman-pedastalization prominent in our society today.

"Im a good looking guy and able to spin plates". And you're confrontational. The sexual rank I'm guessing you have is the one that they hate the most, as you have the freedom to do what they secretly wish they could do, only their value is too low (the women too ugly, the men have no balls).

But you still (I'm guessing) make their ginas tingle. That's all you need. You obviously don't like hanging out with them. Why not fly solo? You'll find a new group with time - the groups of kids I hung with frequently during my freshman year of college I don't even hang around 2 years later. Moving social groups is easy - consider this practice.


But first, get over yourself. Then leave this group of plebians.

:EDIT: By the way, most racist people in our society TODAY are within this group of white-knighting nerd. The same men who would literally kiss a woman's feet to get a scrap of loving attention from her are often the same men who hate blacks/Mexicans/asians/non-whites for taking all their women. Case in point: the internet. The same people throwing around hate speech in forums for people of my age group are the ones who are chronic virgins.

sstype 03-06-2012 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SgtSplacker
First thing is that if you have to "pretend" around people then they are not your people. Find some real friends, sounds like you need some fast.

With that being said...

If you do want to be a member of a social circle then you have to practice what I call the "celebrity way". And you do have to practice it because it is the way in big companies you may want to work for eventually. If you don't blend in then you will be pointed out and you don't want that.

The Celebrity Way: Act like a celebrity, lots of smiling, lots of support, lots of good words, looking good and clean always with trident smile. Not too much personal opinion, negativity, complaining, judging. Keep things positive man. Don't trash talk with people you don't trust or know very well. You just don't know what they are going to turn around and do after you turn your back. You don't even know what they really think about what you are saying. You may call a girl a slvt just because of opinion, then they turn around and think you are saying it because you banged her. You just don't know do you? Maybe he likes her secretly, now he hates you. Get it? Your trusting people that have not earned your trust. If you trust them, then you know it's between them and you and they know you better so they will not have misunderstandings.


Cosign with SgtSplacker. Good advice man. I've had people who I thought were so cool and friendly to me say the most vicious things behind my back because I was too open and trusting. This sort of thing is rampant where I live, everyone is conditioned to be polite and avoid direct confrontation but saying or doing something that can be perceived as offensive or deviant by one or more of your peers can quickly get you ostracized from your social group.

As I've gotten more socially intuitive, I've noticed whenever I am introduced to a new group I can sense I'm being "evaluated" by the established members. As a result, I try to keep my cards close and avoid being too "loud." I won't even actively flirt with any of the women as it almost always causes jealousy among the male members as well as distrust from women who feel that I am "poaching" or being sleazy.

I just allow the alpha dogs of the group do their thing while I maintain a low profile and observe the different personalities, how the group dynamic operates, and what they consider "acceptable" behavior. Eventually, they open up and take me in, but nonetheless I never let my guard down, especially if I notice cutthroat and cliquish behavior such as talking sh*t talk about others.

Even though I pride myself on being an outgoing, laid back and friendly guy...unfortunately I learned the hard way that too many people out there mistake kindness or openness for weakness. Politicking is an essential skill if you want to succeed socially and professionally.

Jair213 03-06-2012 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostAndConfused
"I think I'm back 'in' with the guys at least..."

"Its entirely possible that the UG women especially sensed that I was not exactly enthralled with hanging out with them to begin with."

I'm reading that you find the guys chill, want to hang out with them, but the women suck.

But then:

"They're being ****heads regardless, no loyalty. Could even be racism involved to be honest, at a minimum it cant be helping."


And you call them "nerds."

What the fvck is wrong with you dude? Why do you even want to waste your time with such anti-poon gamma male kissless virgins?

The "nerds" (according to you) who white-knightedly defends these ugly broads is in clearly the lowest dregs of socio-sexual heirarchy. Please tell me that makes sense to you. Why do you associate with them? You're telling me and everyone else (including the girls you wish to attract) that you're a nerd, just like them. How do you not understand this?

But then I think, you must be a nerd yourself if you can't find a new group of people who are any better than these obsolete specimens of human beings. In that case, please read the above comments from the lovely DJs already in this thread telling you to work on yourself.

"I think I'm back 'in' with the guys at least..." Says it all, dude. Yet you call them nerds. That's omega male down to the bone.


Oh, and I had problems like you with "being hated for no reason" I wised up and stopped caring about those losers, and now they wish they were hanging out with me. You seem alot like me in that you are hated and fvcked by womanfolk at the same time. Ride with that, homie. Take confidence in it. I'm an introverted guy, so I play the mysterious alpha really well. Women, and loser gamma males like these by extension, hate you because you don't adhere to the woman-pedastalization prominent in our society today.

"Im a good looking guy and able to spin plates". And you're confrontational. The sexual rank I'm guessing you have is the one that they hate the most, as you have the freedom to do what they secretly wish they could do, only their value is too low (the women too ugly, the men have no balls).

But you still (I'm guessing) make their ginas tingle. That's all you need. You obviously don't like hanging out with them. Why not fly solo? You'll find a new group with time - the groups of kids I hung with frequently during my freshman year of college I don't even hang around 2 years later. Moving social groups is easy - consider this practice.


But first, get over yourself. Then leave this group of plebians.

:EDIT: By the way, most racist people in our society TODAY are within this group of white-knighting nerd. The same men who would literally kiss a woman's feet to get a scrap of loving attention from her are often the same men who hate blacks/Mexicans/asians/non-whites for taking all their women. Case in point: the internet. The same people throwing around hate speech in forums for people of my age group are the ones who are chronic virgins.


Good shi't.

Jair213 03-06-2012 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostAndConfused
"I think I'm back 'in' with the guys at least..."

"Its entirely possible that the UG women especially sensed that I was not exactly enthralled with hanging out with them to begin with."

I'm reading that you find the guys chill, want to hang out with them, but the women suck.

But then:

"They're being ****heads regardless, no loyalty. Could even be racism involved to be honest, at a minimum it cant be helping."


And you call them "nerds."

What the fvck is wrong with you dude? Why do you even want to waste your time with such anti-poon gamma male kissless virgins?

The "nerds" (according to you) who white-knightedly defends these ugly broads is in clearly the lowest dregs of socio-sexual heirarchy. Please tell me that makes sense to you. Why do you associate with them? You're telling me and everyone else (including the girls you wish to attract) that you're a nerd, just like them. How do you not understand this?

But then I think, you must be a nerd yourself if you can't find a new group of people who are any better than these obsolete specimens of human beings. In that case, please read the above comments from the lovely DJs already in this thread telling you to work on yourself.

"I think I'm back 'in' with the guys at least..." Says it all, dude. Yet you call them nerds. That's omega male down to the bone.


Oh, and I had problems like you with "being hated for no reason" I wised up and stopped caring about those losers, and now they wish they were hanging out with me. You seem alot like me in that you are hated and fvcked by womanfolk at the same time. Ride with that, homie. Take confidence in it. I'm an introverted guy, so I play the mysterious alpha really well. Women, and loser gamma males like these by extension, hate you because you don't adhere to the woman-pedastalization prominent in our society today.

"Im a good looking guy and able to spin plates". And you're confrontational. The sexual rank I'm guessing you have is the one that they hate the most, as you have the freedom to do what they secretly wish they could do, only their value is too low (the women too ugly, the men have no balls).

But you still (I'm guessing) make their ginas tingle. That's all you need. You obviously don't like hanging out with them. Why not fly solo? You'll find a new group with time - the groups of kids I hung with frequently during my freshman year of college I don't even hang around 2 years later. Moving social groups is easy - consider this practice.


But first, get over yourself. Then leave this group of plebians.

:EDIT: By the way, most racist people in our society TODAY are within this group of white-knighting nerd. The same men who would literally kiss a woman's feet to get a scrap of loving attention from her are often the same men who hate blacks/Mexicans/asians/non-whites for taking all their women. Case in point: the internet. The same people throwing around hate speech in forums for people of my age group are the ones who are chronic virgins.


Good shi't.

zekko 03-07-2012 01:17 AM

Your point #5 explains it. The UGs are the ones who are planning the parties but you go out of your way to ignore them. No wonder they don't invite you.

I don't understand why guys here refuse to talk to fat girls or ugly women. They are just as much genuine people as the self entitled hotties. When I'm in a social circle, I talk to everyone in the circle. Doesn't mean I have to fvck them. Just think of them as one of the guys lol.

Having said that, I agree with the others you'd probably be better served finding a different set of friends to hang out with, one more suited to you. But don't be so stuck up with the new group.


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