The Ultimate Red Flag List

[MR_PERFECT]

I don't know if there is such a thing as the RED FLAG list on this site, but I think we should have a list of things to avoid when dealing with women we want to have relationships with. I have a friend that says a woman that is into you will make you wait for sex, when she would have a one night stand with a guy she doesn't like as much. I disagree, I think a woman that will have a one night stand with one guy or more, but made you wait, will cheat because there are guys that excited her more than you did, initially. As the relationship gets into a comfortable phase, she will come across one of these guys and think they're exciting.

Red Flags:

- Has slept with other guys faster than she slept with me. I had to grow on her.

- Makes innocent eye contact with another guy for a beat too long.

- Has a child. I'll never be first in her life.

- Broken home, or abusive home. Parents had a perverse relationship, like not having sex for 20 years.

- Has a strong attraction for women. Not a curiosity, but a strong attraction. Trust me, when your woman cheats with a woman, it'll hurt the same, if you love her.

- Promiscuous. A promiscuous woman doesn't place any value on sex and will cheat sooner or later.

 

[KontrollerX]

- The woman has more male friends than female friends, says she gets along with men better than women to rationalize it.

- The woman only has male friends.

- Drinks like a fish and smokes like a chimney.

- Has more problems than a math textbook.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Mr. Perfect,


Please define what you mean by the term "RED FLAG".

Are the RED FLAGS you speak of to be considered by men to be CAUTIONARY WARNINGS, or straight up DEAL BREAKERS?

In other words should we continue to TEST these women, or NEXT these women?

 

[MR_PERFECT]

Yo Mr. Perfect,


Please define what you mean by the term "RED FLAG".

Are the RED FLAGS you speak of to be considered by men to be CAUTIONARY WARNINGS, or straight up DEAL BREAKERS?

In other words should we continue to TEST these women, or NEXT these women?

I'm sorry, I took it for granted that everyone knew the term "Red Flag." A red flag is a warning sign. It should only take one red flag for you to walk, but we're human, we get emotional, so we'll overlook one red flag, then another and another.

 

[PTC]

I'm sorry, I took it for granted that everyone knew the term "Red Flag." A red flag is a warning sign. It should only take one red flag for you to walk, but we're human, we get emotional, so we'll overlook one red flag, then another and another.

I dont know about the "It should only take one red flag for you to walk".

 

[Bible_Belt]

- Has a strong attraction for women. Not a curiosity, but a strong attraction.

One man's red flag is another man's green flag!

My red flags:

-on antidepressant meds

-bad relations with ex, either she hates him violently (she still loves him) or he stalks her (she fvcked him over)

-she says, "I know my daddy loves me, because he buys me nice things."

-being a "reformed" slvt. Yeah, right, more like slvt on hiatus

 

[MR_PERFECT]

One man's red flag is another man's green flag!

That's the point, one man's valid red flag should be all men's red flag. We have a 50% divorce rate in the US, and that says nothing of the unhappily married people that stay married. Most break ups are initiated by women. Every man you talk to thinks he's going to be different. He sees one of your red flags in his relationship, but instead of heeding the warning, he dismisses it because his relationship is different. In truth, most broken relationships had at least one red flag before the fit hit the shan.

- Incorrectly answers the hypothetical question of which should you love more, you're husband or your child? The child grows up and moves on with its life, your spouse is suppose to be there for the rest of your life.

- exhibits any kind of self-destruct behavior, no matter how minor.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Okay, here's mine:


- disrespectful
- attention whorish (too FLIRTY...)
- unaffectionate
- emotionally unavailable
- no integrity
- sexually inhibited to the point of NO COMPROMISE
- selfish
- inconsiderate
- high maintenance
- inconsistent in her behavior towards me
- club head
- addicted to drugs or alcohol
- more than ONE child

...and that's just off the top of my head, so far.

 

[PTC]

- more than ONE child

So,...your saying TWO kids with different fathers would be a red flag??

:crackup:

Just kidding...this nightmare I'm going through had that. Should've seen it :kick:

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yes, TWO kids with TWO different fathers would be a red flag for me.

 

[KontrollerX]

Victory you don't say no to single mommies? lol.

That surprises me but different strokes...

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Single mommies give me PAUSE, and most of the time they make me STOP...but I gotta admit, there has been one or two in my past that have had their shyt together in enough other areas where I've given them their time ON STAGE. LOL

 

[MR_PERFECT]

- Crusty feet. Women with crusty feet are usually no longer interested in men or they are lesbian. Come on, is it that hard to make feet presentable.

- sudden weight gain -she's unhappy.

- abnormally overweight -signs of emotional problems.

- Unprovoked interest in breast implants - she's leaving you.

- Former drug addict. There's always a possibility of a relapse.

- Former cheater.

- If she idolizes mother, pay attention to how the mother lives her life. A red flag on the mother will eventually apply to the daughter.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

-
- sudden weight gain -she's unhappy.

Yo Mr. Perfect,

THIS one really stood out to me because it could also mean she's either ALREADY pregnant, OR she's lost interest in the man-----so therefore could care LESS about maintaining his attraction towards her.

 

[Phyzzle]

- The sex is really, really amazing.

I mean, that never seems to end well on this forum.

- Has more problems than a math textbook.

- Has more issues than a news stand.

 

[armadon]

Yes, TWO kids with TWO different fathers would be a red flag for me.

I agree with this also. I can handle a mom with a kid or two by the same father and the relationship was a long one but once it's two different fathers it springs up irresponsible and that's the last thing I want in a woman.

 

[jophil28]

The ULTIMATE warning sign of a bad candidate for an LTR-

She had an alcoholic, abusive, distant, cheating, addicted or absent father .
Women with this history have no healthy model to work from.
Sign up with her at your peril..

 

[KontrollerX]

The ULTIMATE warning sign of a bad candidate for an LTR-

She had an alcoholic, abusive, distant, cheating, addicted or absent father .
Women with this history have no healthy model to work from.
Sign up with her at your peril..

I see you say this a lot jophil and you as well as I either dealt with a borderline or histrionic and you know how bad those types can be.

I'll say that basically normal women who are not disordered can grow up and become fvcked up from having a bad father for sure but thats merely because thats the only behavioural model they had growing up.

Their minds are still normal and there is still hope for them that they can change if they want to.

The type that there is not much hope for to change is the borderlines and the histrionics.

A girl that developes Histrionic or Borderline personality disorder was raised by her mother without enough empathy, caring and appropriate attention when that girl was still a baby which then in turn causes the baby to become traumatized and damaged for life as the trauma then gives them one or the other or both of these disorders. They spend the rest of their lives acting towards men how their mothers acted towards them as babies.

Loving one minute, cold the next and then utter disinterest which causes so many victims to chase after these types much like they themselves chased their mothers attention and love as children only to ultimately get it when they did the most outrageous things for her amusement.

 

[Luthor Rex]

- Incorrectly answers the hypothetical question of which should you love more, you're husband or your child? The child grows up and moves on with its life, your spouse is suppose to be there for the rest of your life.

- exhibits any kind of self-destruct behavior, no matter how minor.

I'm not sure I get what you mean by the first one. Certainly a spouse should have stronger romantic love for their partner than they do for their child (ick!)...

But, if it came down to it and my future wife had to either allow me to die or allow our child to die, she should let me die. Anything else would be bad parenting. And yes, I'd do the same to her.

As for self-destructive behavior. Hell yeah, stay away from those kind.

 

[Luthor Rex]

The ULTIMATE warning sign of a bad candidate for an LTR-

She had an alcoholic, abusive, distant, cheating, addicted or absent father .
Women with this history have no healthy model to work from.
Sign up with her at your peril..

Yup I tried that, but didn't know about her distant / absent father before we got togther.

I didn't understand why when I was cold & distant to her she liked me more than when I was warm & affectionate. It made so much sense to me after I found out about her distant / absent father.

One day she's gonna be a single mommie just like her mommie was, and she'll never know why...