Your sexual strategy

[Reykhel]

Do you have a sexual strategy? In other words do you know what your objective is?

What is a sexual strategy....

for example....

Girlfriend game.............you are clearly on the lookout for Mrs Right and are dating with the intention to find a girlfriend.

Marriage..........an extension to girlfriend game.....let's say your looking longterm down the line........but you know that's the final outcome...

One night stand game.........You don't want a relationship, you don't want to spin plates, perhaps you're in the game, to play the game......the beauty of the game, the art of the game can be seductive.........perhaps you're simply busy during the week....and this is the most pragmatic....

Dating game...........you still have the traditional dating mentality but you know it's going now where......no interest or perhaps no skill in maintaining plates....

Plate spinning............you've mastered the skill of plate spinning and decided that this is the way to go......or perhaps you haven't mastered it yet but believe this is the way to go....

So, do you have a specific sexual strategy that you stick to?

Do you think it's necessary (practical) to have a sexual strategy?

If you're on one sexual strategy, and you meet a girl who you feel warrants a change of
strategy, are you doing it consciously? (i.e. are you entering her frame or being flexible with your frame)

 

[Reykhel]

If you do have a sexual strategy, do you have a preferred method
in which to execute your strategy?

Bar game...

Internet.....

Day game....

Social circle game......

 

[Serenity]

I play the fun game. None of the games you mention worked for me. I couldn't spin plates, just the thought of juggling several women makes me feel anxious. One night stands are boring and usually not worth it. Marriage is something I at some point in the future make a decision about after a long time of careful consideration. Trying to be on the lookout for a girlfriend has failed me at every turn, except when I stopped looking and played the fun game. Dating is people displaying how sh!tty they are at acting and being someone they're not, it's also predictable, same questions, same answers, same sh!t and no fun.

Doing internet dating is worse than being humiliated on a japanese game show. Bar game borders to child abuse, judging by the mental age. Social circle game can be kinda fun, the stakes are higher, less of a stupid game. Day game can be pretty interesting too.

I have no method other than to maximize positive feelings, first in myself then in others. What happens next is usually out of my control, but usually in my favor.

I have a girlfriend now, but the fun game has no end. It just continues, I just continue. Only difference is there's someone to share the good times with.

 

[Reykhel]

I play the fun game. None of the games you mention worked for me. I couldn't spin plates, just the thought of juggling several women makes me feel anxious. One night stands are boring and usually not worth it. Marriage is something I at some point in the future make a decision about after a long time of careful consideration. Trying to be on the lookout for a girlfriend has failed me at every turn, except when I stopped looking and played the fun game. Dating is people displaying how sh!tty they are at acting and being someone they're not, it's also predictable, same questions, same answers, same sh!t and no fun.

Doing internet dating is worse than being humiliated on a japanese game show. Bar game borders to child abuse, judging by the mental age. Social circle game can be kinda fun, the stakes are higher, less of a stupid game. Day game can be pretty interesting too.

I have no method other than to maximize positive feelings, first in myself then in others. What happens next is usually out of my control, but usually in my favor.

I have a girlfriend now, but the fun game has no end. It just continues, I just continue. Only difference is there's someone to share the good times with.

Yeah I'm not really a fan of OLD. Hit double figures alone with OLD but it's so contrived....but each to their own. Just wondering if people have a decided strategy. You know.....knowing what the fvck your doing can transmit a lot of powerful energy. You see some newbie posts and they don't know if they are coming or going.....

I think, sort out what you're doing first.......

Of course you can just play the game by ear.......or with whatever strategy.......by the way, they were just examples......whatever your strategy is your strategy......

for me I think it gives tremendous power knowing your strategy....

of course, the trick is you don't have to be structured......

at least have strategies in your head and know where you're going/where you're putting her....

 

[zinc4]

I just try for kiss and sex. Simple as that.

 

[Reykhel]

I just try for kiss and sex. Simple as that.

Yes, but then after sex.......what do you do......

do you have a plan or do you just go with the flow?

after sex do you eject or do you wait and see what she wants...

are you always in your frame or do you slip into hers?

 

[Serenity]

@Reykhel Yes it's something like that. I always know what I want, but I figure out how to get it along the way. I always expect failure and I'm just as happy without whatever I wanted. I hate stress, it's even further away from fun than being bored.

 

[Reykhel]

@Reykhel Yes it's something like that. I always know what I want, but I figure out how to get it along the way. I always expect failure and I'm just as happy without whatever I wanted. I hate stress, it's even further away from fun than being bored.

Happiness is different. I've long decided that's my calling. I'm talking about the game. The game is the game. Maybe I'm OCD a little, but I just look back at the last few years, especially since the last LTR and I seem to always have a strategy. Not saying that's good or bad, maybe wondered if other's worked that way too. Don't get me wrong, I've seemed to have gone from one to another like a fish in water without problem.............in my twenties I didn't have strategy. It was different. I wonder am I more calculated or just more mature now.

But happiness is a different topic. I'd never rely on anyone for that.

 

[fastlife]

For me, it's just screening. I'm probably more "monogamishly" inclined than otherwise--but my standards are high and I'm not gonna assign a gf that role just for the hell of it. I also have needs--and if I only slept with girls that made the cut, then...I'd have a lot of dry spells. But my screening process goes something like this (super big picture view):

1.) Once I find a girl physically attractive she goes into one of the 3 following categories:

1. Attractive & Overtly Slvtty or Crazy = BJ if I'm on a dry spell (end of line)
2. Attractive w/ a few red flags = ONS, maybe two if I'm on a dry spell (end of line)
3. Attractive w/ yellow flags or unknown = Phase 2

2.) Once a girl's in Phase 2 I still screen her for generosity, flexibility, happiness, submissiveness. Depending on those qualities she goes into one of 3 categories.

1. Loose plate--Hit her up from time to time, disqualified from emotional investment
2. Fling--Possible yellow flags or bad logistics, but still gets emotional investment for a limited duration.
3. GF Consideration--She gets emotional investment & more of a full experience; however, she also has a higher chance of being Nexted.

3.) If a girl passes into GF Consideration & proves herself worthy of that role, she could hypothetically get a title (as long as she agrees to be exclusive to me & doesn't demand exclusivity from my end). I think at that point, after enough time for her to prove herself consistently, I'd be naturally inclined to become exclusive.

Right now I've mostly been having flings, which feels about right for me at this point in my life. I have one girl that is somewhere in the transitional period between fling and GF Consideration--maybe--still have some doubts and some important decisions to make about my future before I get into all that.

If I get into monogamy it'll be merit-based; it won't ever be from boredom or lack of options (hence why my non-exclusivity is a non-negotiable up to that point). I don't really get off on variety or numbers (my standards are higher than my sex drive); but I also don't get off on having someone jeopardize my self-actualization. I think getting good at cold approach is essential if you're to hold yourself to any type of standards (plus it's a lot of fun); though my social circle still comes through for me every now and then.

 

[Reykhel]

@fastlife with the fvcking quality.....

appreciate this kid while he's on the board, we are few and far between brothers....
Stick around brother, with the gold.

 

[Reykhel]

@fastlife knows what I'm talking about......you have a strategy........then you have
categories. they should be all compartmentalized easily in your head...

....or maybe not?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I dont really think that it should be so cut and dry like that. It should depend more on the girl herself rather than your own expectations cuz that just leads to dissapointment. If she's only ONS worthy, that's it. If she's worth more, rank her accordingly. ****, if you found the needle in the haystack then you could marry her straight up if you really wanted to.

It depends on her rather than you. It's similar to the rehashed concept of having her qualify herself to you rather than vice versa.

 

[Reykhel]

I dont really think that it should be so cut and dry like that. It should depend more on the girl herself rather than your own expectations cuz that just leads to dissapointment. If she's only ONS worthy, that's it. If she's worth more, rank her accordingly. ****, if you found the needle in the haystack then you could marry her straight up if you really wanted to.

It depends on her rather than you. It's similar to the rehashed concept of having her qualify herself to you rather than vice versa.

I get what you're saying....

but how come it depends on me all of the time. I say what happens.

talking about when you've nabbed them....

 

[Serenity]

Happiness is different. I've long decided that's my calling. I'm talking about the game. The game is the game. Maybe I'm OCD a little, but I just look back at the last few years, especially since the last LTR and I seem to always have a strategy. Not saying that's good or bad, maybe wondered if other's worked that way too. Don't get me wrong, I've seemed to have gone from one to another like a fish in water without problem.............in my twenties I didn't have strategy. It was different. I wonder am I more calculated or just more mature now.

But happiness is a different topic. I'd never rely on anyone for that.

I disagree, happiness is not different. I found my girlfriend through choices that increased my own happiness. If I wasn't happy with her she would have been gone a long time ago, I would have chosen what did make me happy.

It could be called screening, but it's less systematic. Could be called game, but to me it's a way to live happy. Definitions get really blurry and grey area the way I do it, it's not systematic and easily understood with logic. Because it's not logic, it's emotion. I pay more attention to how I feel than what I think. To find happiness which is an emotion I must feel my way to it, to see if what I do brings me closer to it or further away. Then take actions and choose accordingly.

I guess you could call it strategy, but not specifically a sexual strategy. It's an all encompassing strategy, it works for any part of life to become happy.

I make choices based on emotion, not a rigid strategy.

 

[fastlife]

@fastlife knows what I'm talking about......you have a strategy........then you have
categories. they should be all compartmentalized easily in your head...

....or maybe not?

I don't really have a hard set of rules, because I know myself and I get off on breaking them. But I think it's important to have something on the back end, because for most guys a ONS becomes a FB becomes a GF, etc. etc. because action-wise, that's the path of least resistance (and he'll rationalize her to be whatever he wants her to be, because she's what he has available). At the same time, a lot of guys (here especially) cut off girls prematurely because emotions-wise, that's the path of least resistance (and he'll rationalize her to be whatever he's trying to avoid).

For me, the most important thing is to eliminate expectations, open yourself up to experience, and give a girl the opportunity to show you who she is. Enjoy the process and be open to where things go (it's not like I'm performing calculations in my head of where this girl or that'll fit into my life); at the same time, you have to make sure that you're making the proper use of what you have in front of you. So it's like, Go with the flow, but direct it into the proper channels.

Also learn to enjoy girls that won't make the cut even to the bare minimum, because sometimes that's all you'll find on a given night (or for me, given weeks). I think some dudes get a sort of pathological fulfillment from sex--it's the only act of penetration they'll experience in their life and they'll settle for bad sex, any sex, just to get that sense of being masculine; that generally leads to bad decisions and unfulfillment. For me, I'm committed to penetrating life and penetrating any given environment I find myself in--any sex I have is purely for my physical pleasure (read: Good), I get my psychological fix in the social interactions leading up to it.

 

[Reykhel]

I don't really have a hard set of rules, because I know myself and I get off on breaking them. But I think it's important to have something on the back end, because for most guys a ONS becomes a FB becomes a GF, etc. etc. because action-wise, that's the path of least resistance (and he'll rationalize her to be whatever he wants her to be, because she's what he has available). At the same time, a lot of guys (here especially) cut off girls prematurely because emotions-wise, that's the path of least resistance (and he'll rationalize her to be whatever he's trying to avoid).

For me, the most important thing is to eliminate expectations, open yourself up to experience, and give a girl the opportunity to show you who she is. Enjoy the process and be open to where things go (it's not like I'm performing calculations in my head of where this girl or that'll fit into my life); at the same time, you have to make sure that you're making the proper use of what you have in front of you. So it's like, Go with the flow, but direct it into the proper channels.

Also learn to enjoy girls that won't make the cut even to the bare minimum, because sometimes that's all you'll find on a given night (or for me, given weeks). I think some dudes get a sort of pathological fulfillment from sex--it's the only act of penetration they'll experience in their life and they'll settle for bad sex, any sex, just to get that sense of being masculine; that generally leads to bad decisions and unfulfillment. For me, I'm committed to penetrating life and penetrating any given environment I find myself in--any sex I have is purely for my physical pleasure (read: Good), I get my psychological fix in the social interactions leading up to it.

Before I start, let me say that kid, I'm a fan.

I don't know what you'r on about here though. this is why I always ask in my mind at least.....what the fvck is going on here.....

@fastlife you know what is self amusement......I am the king. you can ask my main girl she is black......I tell her she is my slave and she.......well everything I say she says "Reykehl, the line please!!" but I'm genuine in what I say.....therer is no game.........and I don't care if I neg girls and they don't go for it.......I neg people......what's my goal? I'm a cvnt. you don't like you can die

 

[fastlife]

I disagree, happiness is not different. I found my girlfriend through choices that increased my own happiness. If I wasn't happy with her she would have been gone a long time ago, I would have chosen what did make me happy.

It could be called screening, but it's less systematic. Could be called game, but to me it's a way to live happy. Definitions get really blurry and grey area the way I do it, it's not systematic and easily understood with logic. Because it's not logic, it's emotion. I pay more attention to how I feel than what I think. To find happiness which is an emotion I must feel my way to it, to see if what I do brings me closer to it or further away. Then take actions and choose accordingly.

I guess you could call it strategy, but not specifically a sexual strategy. It's an all encompassing strategy, it works for any part of life to become happy.

I make choices based on emotion, not a rigid strategy.

The problem with this is that your emotional templates are defined by your relationship with your parents. If you have a solid relationship with your parents--a strong father figure and a giving, submissive mother figure--and you're in the right environment, then chasing 'happiness' with girls will probably lead you into healthy, fulfilling relationships with generally solid girls. If that's you and you're not deluding yourself with some mental projection, then I'm envious.

But I've tried your strategy--if I just did what felt right to me, it would lead me to straight Cluster B land over and over (been there a few times). I've made a ton of strides as far as reworking my emotional points of reference, but I have to screen hard and consciously practice radical honesty and make some cold evaluations from time to time.

 

[Reykhel]

The problem with this is that your emotional templates are defined by your relationship with your parents. If you have a solid relationship with your parents--a strong father figure and a giving, submissive mother figure--and you're in the right environment, then chasing 'happiness' with girls will probably lead you into healthy, fulfilling relationships with generally solid girls. If that's you and you're not deluding yourself with some mental projection, then I'm envious.

But I've tried your strategy--if I just did what felt right to me, it would lead me to straight Cluster B land over and over (been there a few times). I've made a ton of strides as far as reworking my emotional points of reference, but I have to screen hard and consciously practice radical honesty and make some cold evaluations from time to time.

@fastlife what's that got to do with his parents?

I've went through so many of these sexual strategies but how can I say it's the parents?

 

[fastlife]

Before I start, let me say that kid, I'm a fan.

I don't know what you'r on about here though. this is why I always ask in my mind at least.....what the fvck is going on here.....

@fastlife you know what is self amusement......I am the king. you can ask my main girl she is black......I tell her she is my slave and she.......well everything I say she says "Reykehl, the line please!!" but I'm genuine in what I say.....therer is no game.........and I don't care if I neg girls and they don't go for it.......I neg people......what's my goal? I'm a cvnt. you don't like you can die

Self-amusement is huge. Fundamental component of game and genuine self-expression. My post wasn't directed at you (more of a general qualifier of my outline re: Whether it was compartmentalized in my head).

@fastlife what's that got to do with his parents?

I've went through so many of these sexual strategies but how can I say it's the parents?

His strategy of 'doing what feels right' to make himself happy. The outcome of that particular strategy--as opposed to a more rigid outline like the one I initially posted--is highly dependent on pre-consciously formed templates of 'love' and 'happiness.'

 

[Reykhel]

Self-amusement is huge. Fundamental component of game and genuine self-expression. My post wasn't directed at you (more of a general qualifier of my outline re: Whether it was compartmentalized in my head).



His strategy of 'doing what feels right' to make himself happy. The outcome of that particular strategy--as opposed to a more rigid outline like the one I initially posted--is highly dependent on pre-consciously formed templates of 'love' and 'happiness.'

I know about self amusement. Listen, I am the man who does not know how to shut his mouth
Kid, I was out with my girl tonight and I rarely drink alcohol......seriojsly I don't drink a lot.....and one of her friends went "fuvck is he always's this hyper?" my kid turned around and said ....."he's always like that"